Lessons in life, Personal development

Attention is the second most lethal drug in the world

I am honestly being a bit too much of a drama queen with the title (so yes it was kind of click bait…sorry) But please read this before going. This can really be beneficial for you and potentially your friends (so please share ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Let us start with some facts. According to WHO (world health organization) each year there is 11.5 people out of 100000 that commit suicide. Meaning about every 40 seconds. There is 86400 seconds a day. Divide that by 40 makes it 2160 deaths A DAY…by their own hand. So why is this so alarming… apart for the obvious…

While death is something very natural and a healthy part of life… imagine if we all just lived forever… that would be hell on earth. But the alarming fact is that suicide has become way more prevalent in our culture. Between the years 2000 and 2016 there has been a 30% raise in suicide related deaths. 50% raise in the suicide deaths of women. In USA it is the 10th leading cause of death. This data is according to APA (American Psychological Association)

As mentioned in WHO’s page it is good to keep in mind that all of these numbers are an evaluation of the situation and due to the complexity of suicide and the lack of evidence to make sure that correlation = causation, we must be careful of taking this all as 100% truth (just like with everything else) and this applies to any recourse I use.

So what is my point of pointing out the amount of suicides and what the hell does it have to do with attention? Do I think people just are depressed for sake of attention? Do I think that this all could be preventable by giving said attention? NO….. Depression and other mental illnesses are horrible and I cannot imagine living with one. And I happen to be EXTREMELY lucky to not have thoughts of committing suicide. I recognize that and I am not trying to lessen the pain of having such an illness… BUT

The reason I do talk about it being due to the new drug called attention. With social media all of our lives are plastered all over the internet. All of our mistakes, stupid drunk choices etc. It is all over there. And other people, comment, ridicule and sometimes are right vicious. Imagine all of our starts who have committed suicide by overdosing (or accidental overdosing) they in the end did that because they were trying to escape. And this is what I am talking about.

Today we need to make the most outrageous trick to get views on YouTube; like the tide-pod challenge… like what? Or kissing random girls, or showing boobs or what ever it is. The more shock value the better. I mean honestly, imagine if someone would have been able to grow their boobs to a 38KKK (that is the biggest size there is currently in Texas… I sure as hell hope the code is accidental) Anyway imagine someone trying to run away from a tiger with them…. Hmm…? And ofc this has nothing to do with attention and shock value… right? But I digress. (Woman’s Boobs are killing her)

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

So does this have any correlation/causation with suicide and if so how?. Well in my views and this is with minimal research. Between 2000 and 2016 there was an uproar with social media. And I find it hard to believe that 30% raise during those years is purely a coincidence.

We are addicted to likes and views. (Yes me to… hello I’m a blogger) The more we fuck up the better our view count gets. We could get sponsored by being dicks and extremely attention seeking. We get a generation that is payed for being idiots. And let us not get on the high horse here. All generations had their dicks. And all generations will have their dicks. However they were never this visible. They were never rewarded with attention from millions of people and by million bucks.

Like these people or not. This causes pressure on this generation like no other. We have millions of opportunities to make money. Some smart, some not so much. Either way our current generation is under inspection like never before.

I argue that fighting for the 5 seconds of fame. And after achieving it, fighting to be seen as anything else, is what is so detrimental for the people. Which leads to people killing themselves when they either get attention for the wrong reason e.g. because they kissed someone they shouldn’t have or because they can’t get forwards because they will always be seen as someone who “fucked up” e.g. Logan Paul. I honestly hope that he won’t feel the need to end it all due to all the negative media he get’s right now/has gotten in the past. ( I am not a fan of his, but honestly the things people say (including the death threats) is disturbing. Since when was it ok to do that?

Yes there will always be suicide. And yes we will always see attention seeking. It is one of the greatest ways to attract a mate. Raise your hands if someone remembers being hit on by someone who made a fool of themselves while doing so? However. Today it seems everything is twisted. We have a smart youth. No matter what we think of their antics. They are smart, but the outlet we have isn’t under control. There is no rehab for attention seeking. And many of us don’t even see that we might need it.

I could easily say that I don’t care about attention. But obviously I do. I write this blog. And currently this a pretty small blog. What will happen when and if it grows? I don’t know. Hopefully I won’t make it about jumping off roofs for the amusement of my fan-base. And I hope that what I talk about (Personal development + social issues) will help people grow and move forward instead of trying to become internet sensations.

Please comment and let’s start a discussion! As someone who is part of the generation, that almost kills themselves for views and potentially kills themselves because of said views, I find this topic important. To anyone who is depressed and/or sees as death being the only solution, please seek help. From family or a professional. I know this is cliche but there is always another way.

With love, Alisa

P.S. Being an influence, YouTuber, Instagram model etc. are perfectly fine jobs to have. (Yes I personally see them as jobs, if we would know how much time and effort goes into the content (often not always) we wouldn’t question it) However don’t forget that they aren’t the only cool jobs to have nor are they always as cool as what we think.

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Health, Lessons in life

The addicted generation

Since the invention of alcohol, drugs and unhealthy food, we have had addictions. This is nothing new. But I honestly am extremely worried of the current and future generations. (yeah that means myself too)

It is so easy to find something to get addicted to. And you honestly don’t need to use much money for it, if at all. Porn, social media, junk food, over the counter medicine. Some of these things aren’t bad in small doses. But we do quite often forget where the limit is.

If you click on Youtube, you will find huge amounts of content. You can get addicted to always clicking the next video. And if that already isn’t enough, a huge trend right now is to look at people eat huge amounts of foods and make 15 000- 20 000 calorie challenges. And as it is human nature we end up craving food and chances are we watch those videos while eating food or go get junk food after watching them.

Is this type of content inherently bad? No. I honestly don’t think there is anything bad at watching someone sharing stories while eating and eating yourself. If you know where the limit goes…. but like with most addictions, they start from going over the limit couple of times too much. And not noticing it becoming a habit and an issue.

Our brain are amazing and at the same time they are very sensitive to over stimulation. They like it and they get used to it. Not only do we chemically get addicted to the dopamine hit that we get from food, porn or constant new content from social media. Our brains also form neurological pathways that make it hard to stop the habit of doing something. For a smoker it might be about holding the cigarette between their fingers, for someone addicted to coffee its about the making of the coffee, or having a cup to hold.

So how do we stop this from happening. I honestly think that having a conversation at schools and at home is something that is really important. Make it a family thing to go on walks as often as possible. Have a family dinner that is always without any phones (the parents included, no work is so important you can’t eat with your family) Make sure that kids under 8 don’t even use their phones/ipads etc unless absolutely necessary. And so on.

I am one of the children almost born with a phone in my hands. I know how hard parents and schools have to fight against kids using it. But honestly we will thank them later on. I am extremely thankful today for the limitations my parents had on my games and phone/computer. Did I fight them and think they were stupid at the time? Absolutely! Did I actually have a good childhood where I could have my own imaginary friends without having to have virtual reality glasses? Yes, and honestly it is the best thing ever.

Today’s world is an amazing place. There is so much that is changing and becoming better. The thing is, that we make things better and invent things because we have an imagination and creativity. If the future generations won’t get to play themselves and won’t become creative because all of the brain stimulation is given to them in the form of AR and VR, we will eventually stagnate.

This is why I implore all of the parents new and future ones, to form limits. Make your kids read books, make them draw, let them have their imaginary friends and play in the sand and get all dirty. This is all part of childhood. I get it is hard to do all of this, because everyone has the news gadget and then your kid wonders why you can’t have it. But when they are older they will thank you.

Thank you for reading! I hope this resonated with you. What do you think about all of the new technology and how much kids get to spend time online?

Xoxo, Alisa

And go follow me on my socials and join the community (is this ironic or what): FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Spirituality

New way of Goal Setting

Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.

Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.

Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.

What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.

So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.

Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?

P.S Happy belated Easter!

Xoxo

Goals, Personal development, Student Life

Gamify your success

When you play Super Mario, despite sometimes killing him of, you usually try again, and again…. and again. Sometimes this lasts for so long, you end up losing track of time, causing you to fail at doing something actually productive. But you can actually learn a lot from your games. There are numerous studies done, showing how gaming (a reasonable amount) is actually healthy and good for development. It helps with problem solving, motor skills and improves creativity. But today I am not talking about those benefits. I am however very open to write about that, if you are interested.

My topic today is about turning your actual life into a game. This is not originally my idea, a lot of people on YouTube and on their blogs, do challenges and use apps to make their life into a game. Some examples are Thomas Frank, The Goal Guys and Max Hertan.

What does it mean in practice? It means first of all that you have a goal. It could be writing a 10 page essay, or learning to do a split in 30 days. What ever your goal is, it can be gamefied. How to do it? I will break it down bellow, just like a real life video game, everyone will have their own approach, so feel free to tweak anything that you feel necessary.

  1. Have a goal. In a video game like Super Mario, it could be getting through a level or defeating Bowser. If it is defeating Bowser, you use the levels as your steps, until you are at the final showdown. If it is getting through a level your steps will be on a shorter scale, like jumping in the right place and killing the right enemy at the write time. So just like in a game, with a goal you have to come up with steps to win.
  2. Track your progress in a visible way. It wouldn’t be fun to play Mario or any other game, if you could never see how many enemies you have killed, or if you would never level up. That is the same in a real life goal. If you want to learn splits, make sure you document your progress. Even if you aren’t as close as you want to be to a split, at least you can see how far you have come, if you for example take pictures. Or you could mark in your calendar daily how many minutes you have stretched etc.
  3. Reward yourself. This is slightly controversial. There are a lot of people who are super successful, that think this is not helpful. And if you only do things because of a treat, instead of feeling the pride for getting healthier or for getting the project done. I can understand the concern. However I assume, that people don’t want to do things that seem big and daunting without some kind of small wins in between. So stretch while you watch a series you love. It’s two birds with one stone and it is more fun that way as well. Or after each page you have written of the essay you can go scratch your puppy. Make sure it is something that you don’t over do the rewarding tho. You don’t deserve to binge watch youtube for stretching your hamstrings for 2 seconds.
  4. Keep it real. if you start too many goals, too many projects and you try to make everything into a game, you might lose. You can’t play Mario, Call of Duty and solve the Rubik’s Cube all at the same time. The same thing with goals. Don’t beat yourself up for falling down or not getting through a level. Only beat yourself up, if you didn’t get back up to try again.

Here are some apps to helps you gamify your goals/tasks:

  • Habitica: Gamify Your tasks
  • Forest: Stay Focused
  • Fitness RPG- Gamify your Pedometer
  • Do it Now- RPG To Do List/ Task List

These are some of the apps you will get on an android device. I am sure there are many for the Apple phones as well.

Thanks for reading! This post was really fun to write, as this is something I want to incorporate more into my life, to get more exciting and interesting things done (as well as the mandatory ones). What are some of your goals you would like to turn into a game?

Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ˜‰ Untill next time

Xoxo

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

Does money/success make us happy?

Does it suck that I have to say yes and no?

If we only concentrate on becoming rich so we can blow the money on drinks and yachts and never do anything smart with the money, you won’t be happy. You can ask anyone who gets rich without real purpose. Money for the sake of money isn’t fulfilling. And that is ok.

So in what ways does money make you happy?

  1. You have stability you will not have without money. It is important to know you can go home to sleep for the night. That if you are sick you can go to the doctors. That in case your car breaks down, you can afford to repair it.
  2. It gives you a chance to sometimes get some luxury when you need to have a vacation from stressful work you can see a bit of the world. You can share some fun times with your friends.
  3. If someone needs help you can do that. Money just for you, in the end, serves its purpose and then it no longer helps. It’s like how many pairs of shoes do you need to make you happy? After that, how about you share that joy and give someone else some of that joy. The pair you gift them might be the only pair they will own for next 6 months. They need it more than you anyway. You did a good job and you will feel better about it. (And it doesn’t have to be to someone you don’t know, could be taking a friend out for dinner cosย  you know they can’t afford that luxury right now or something of the like)

The post has been inspired by this video. You should definitely check it out ๐Ÿ™‚ And their channel, in general, is very beneficial for inspiring young people getting a healthier relationship with money:ย https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XR9yLTZJk

What do you think about money and how it affects your life? Do you have a healthy relationship with money? I must admitย  I don’t really,ย  but I am working on it.

Remember to like and comment! Have a nice beginning of the new week tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚