Goals, Personal development

Counter-intuitive ways of forming/changing Habits

So everyone all the time talk about habits and forming or changing them and let me just tell you I am such a addict when it comes to reading about people and their habits and routines and so on. There is nothing more satisfying as seeing someone have their lives together… well maybe having your own life together would be more satisfying…. hmmmmm…. Anywhoo, I have listed 5 counter-intuitive ways of forming and or changing habits down below, so let’s start!

  1. Don’t plan as much. Yes I have mentioned this before. This is something that quite many high performing business people talk about. There is a gap often between planning and taking action. It is called analysis paralysis. We just plan the day by the minute, then realize we have way too much planned or we spent the whole time planning and now its already 12 am and we should have been asleep hours ago. This also works when planning on habits you want to incorporate into your life and how. Yes plan your habits and see where they fit, but don’t over do it. Habit is something you do, not something you plan… just saying.
  2. The easier something is to do, the more likely you are to do it….But I disagree on the effectiveness in some cases (or maybe it is just me). This is something also suggested in detail in Atomic Habits by James Clear. I just started this book but its amazing and I’m like half way through. And while in general I agree on this advice, I have noticed certain instances that the opposite works. For example, when I planned on using my nearest gym…. that is literally like a 200m walk from my house (About 656ft) I wouldn’t go there…like ever. I had this mentality of since its so close I can go when ever so now I don’t have to. And honestly this changed when I started to go to the gym further away. It became more of an actual routine because I had to make an effort and make sure I took into consideration the walking time there and back. Since I don’t know if there are any studies done on this topic, I can’t say if this is an normal phenomenon or if I am just peculiar… I am probably just peculiar, but leave a comment down bellow if this sounds familiar
  3. Don’t think about the end goal. This is also something that is discussed in the book Atomic Habits. I find this very fascinating but I do understand the logic. If you want habits that stick, you shouldn’t think about the end goal. It shouldn’t be that I want to weight X amount of kg or pounds. Because what happens to the habits you have built when you reach that “magical” number. Big chance is you lose those habits. However if you focus on becoming a healthy person. You will continue doing certain habits just because a healthy person does them. This means that instead of concentrating on goals you should concentrate on your identity and instead of just thinking about your habits think of systems you can set in place to make sure those habits work. James Clear explains this better than I ever could, so read the book. However, I will try to give an example. I want to wake up at 5 am. This is a habit I want to have. A system for it, would be having two alarms both at the other side of the room that I have to go and turn off. But this is not enough. Now that I have turned them of, while I am already standing I have to go to the bathroom do my business there and wash my face, so I wake up. After this I go back to my room. Open my blinds, make bed and this is important; I meditate on the floor/chair NOT on the bed. Because otherwise I fall asleep again. This is a system that ensures I wake up and get up at 5 am.
  4. Don’t beat yourself over if you are failing in doing something you told yourself to-do. Studies have found that people are more likely to make positive change when they get positive information about that change. And if they have a possibility of being better than someone else. So for example; if you have a calendar and you mark with an x all the days you haven’t smoked, you are more likely to keep up with that since you have a streak (side note, this is why Snapchat worked so well ;D) If you have an app that tells you that people A and B are doing 50% better than you on said habit, you will be more likely to improve your score so that you get as good of a grade or better as them. This also means that instead of telling yourself that you are an idiot. Just notice that you are breaking your streak. Or others can do better than you. This will make it easier for you to get back on track with your habits. Here is a link to the ted talk on this subject TED talk and again Atomic Habits talks about this as well.
  5. Last but not least. If you want to stop doing something. Don’t stop it cold turkey. Or if you do stop something right in that second, substitute it with another habit. For example if you have a habit of biting or fiddling with your nails. In order to stop if, get a stress toy. This way you can still do something with your hands (and studies show it isn’t actually as bad as we were lead to believe…just for the love of God, don’t let it be a clicker pen or I might just have to attack you….) This will make sure you will stop ruining your nails and it won’t rely on you to be disciplined. It is hard to be disciplined with habits that are unconscious, nail biting often is.

So here are the 5 ways to form and/ or change habits that are counter intuitive. I hope you liked the post and please comment bellow the one that seemed to make most/least sense to you.If you have questions or post ideas don’t hesitate to ask!

Also here is a link to a poll on twitter that I formed that decides the post I will be writing for Thursday, make sure to cast your vote! Twitter Poll

Don’t forget to follow on the socials and let’s form a community of Change!

Xoxo, Alisa

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Health, Lessons in life

Frustration

Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer