Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

β€œWe must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.”

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers πŸ˜‰ ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

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Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

How to successfully study (even if you aren’t at school)

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice”

Brian Herbert

So; I had a blog post poll and twitter and 2 post ideas got the same votes; the one I am writing about right now and “How to have conversations”. So I will make the post about conversations for next Monday. But today we will talk about how to study. While the title mentions that it isn’t for school, it can be applied to school as well. I just feel like even after we are done with school, we should still continue learning and this we need to know how to study; so here we go! (I will link bellow my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn! )

Tip N.1; Choose one thing (Maybe two if they are different enough)

I feel like the most important part is to figure out what you want to study. I don’t think there is a good thing and a mad thing to study. You can study languages, math, culture, history, self development. What ever feels like your own.

However this poses a problem. You aren’t at school, so no one is going to give you a limit to what to study. It isn’t realistic to study all sub parts of all of the topics listed about (plus there is like 1000’s of more of them, that I just don’t have time to list). So as my tip suggest don’t choose too many things to study. Even if it seems very tempting.

You could study a language and history. That way they are different enough. If you study Spanish you might want to learn about Spanish history, because you might understand the culture better. But don’t choose too many things, just so you don’t feel overwhelmed. I am sure we all remember how stressful it was to learn everything for our finals, why would you do that to yourself on purpose, right?

Once you stop learning you start dying.

Albert Einstein

Tip 2; How do you learn best?

Now that teachers aren’t thrusting a book into your had and telling you to read and learn 500 pages by heart. You can actually listen to yourself and figure out how you learn best. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use multiple methods, it means you should see what works the best and after that using the other methods to bring variety into your studies. Just because you like pasta the most doesn’t mean you can never eat anything else…right? So Figure out your tastes and start planning

Tip 3; Plan your learning

Learning can be a great way to pass time and relaxing without having to check your phone
Learning can be fun!

This doesn’t have to be as hardcore as at schools. You don’t have to know that by the end of tomorrow you have read chapters 1-5 from a book. But making sure you have some kind of a picture is important. If you work, are a stay at home mother or go to school and want to learn things outside of school, you should make sure you have time for the thing you want to study.

So check your calendar. Is 30 minutes a day realistic? How about 1 hour every other day? Maybe study what you want for couple of hours during the weekend. Or make it a part of your morning routine. You can easily wake up 15 minutes earlier and decide to study a little bit of vocabulary before getting up. Or do that during night time, this way your brain will process the info while you sleep. Either way, make sure you have time for what you want to learn. Trust me when I say it doesn’t work if you just plan on studying “when you feel like it” it didn’t work in school and it sure as hell won’t work now, because you won’t even have you finals to force you to study…

Tip 4; Figure out a why

Just being curious is a good thing, but it won’t last you for a long time and it won’t be something constant. Obviously there is nothing wrong about once in a while reading a fascinating article. However, if you want to seriously learn something, you should have a strong why. For example; I want to learn Spanish, because I have studied it for ages and I like the sound of it. The idea that I could one day have a conversation with a Spanish person seems fantastic and I think it will help me understand their culture. Since culture and languages are often closely linked. A while a go I learned, because I had family members in France. Just thinking the languages if fun, isn’t a bad reason. But it rarely is strong enough. However if it is good enough for you, great!


Here were my 4 tips for studying even if you aren’t at school. All of these however work even if you are. Leave a comment if I forgot something and I hope this helps! Bellow I linked my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn!

My posts; Growth VS. Fixed mindset , Be taught and teach, 5 life changing challenges

Other helpful sources; AsapSCIENCE, Charisma On Command, Fastcompany, How to learn books

Xoxo, Alisa

Health, Personal development

Self-care is a guaranteed way to make yourself succeed!

Do you tell yourself that you have no time? Or that it isn’t important to take care of yourself, because of kids, partner, family and friends? Answer me this; At what cost do you want to achieve success?

The real hard truth is that if you want to be successful, you need to make certain sacrifices. Your health on the long term, should not be one of those sacrifices. But the hard question is, how do we take care, of ourselves when we have more responsibilities?We all know as an entrepreneur your days are sometimes way longer than if you would work 9-5 right?

Here are my 4 tips for making sure that self care is a part of your life, letsa go!

Number 1 – Organize time for yourself

Make a morning/evening routine that is customized just for you. Yes, even if you have kids. When you have kids you must play around with the schedule a bit. Maybe your own routine can only start when they are all asleep. Maybe it starts way earlier to make sure they haven’t gotten up yet. Either way, make sure you have 15-30 minutes, just your time.

I can already hear the excuses rolling in. That is so long what if they barge in etc etc etc. What if I have just given birth. I mean on the short term you might need to sacrifice your own time. But telling a 4 year old that mommy or daddy needs a bit of alone time is perfectly acceptable. It is ok to teach your kids that you need your own time, and that it should be respected.

It is also ok to ask your partner to take care of the kids in the morning so you get your alone time then and you do it for them in the evening.(or other way around) It is all about how you organize your time. Maybe it is for you when everyone is at work/school/kindergarten. Either way mark it into your calendar, so you know it isn’t something you are willing to compromise unless the house is on fire. (Or your kid is really sick and other reasons that are not daily)

Number 2 – Make lists of self-care things

Write things that you want to do for self care, so you actually know what you want to do, when you have a certain time frame. You can even have more than one list. For example, a list with things that take 15 minutes or less (e.g. face masks, meditating, writing into a journal) a list for 30 minutes things (e.g. doing a yoga sesh, going for a walk, organizing your papers so work is easier later) things that take an hour + (movie, reading an amazing book, booking a facial, etc,etc,etc.)

The things on these lists should be 100% customized to your needs. For someone taking care of themselves is a skin care routine, for someone it is going for a hike , either way, its is great because it is your time

Number 3 – Have conversations

You might need to take your partner, family member/friend aside to talk with them. Maybe you have a friend who wants your to always go for a drink on Fridays. And you just don’t want to spend your Friday like that and Saturday morning with a head ache.

Perhaps your family wants to have you every 3 days over and you just need that one day to just be on your own. Maybe you want to plan a trip on your own and your partner things its a romantic trip. Explain to them all of them why you don’t want to do things. Instead of compromising your own well being every-time.

If someone doesn’t get the need to have alone time, then they aren’t having a healthy life, or they do and they are just selfish when it comes to you. Have open conversations, try to figure out how you can fit all those people in your life, without forgetting that you need to take care of yourself too.

Number 4- Check yourself

Mark into your calendar when you have had your time. Sometimes we are surprised of how we spent our time just scrolling the phone and that isn’t a good way to self-care. So write what you did. What ever that means to you (Sometimes it can mean spending time with friends or family. Not all self-care needs to be done alone.)

When you see weeks without any time for self care, go out of your way to take that time. It can be 5 extra minutes, preparing for work, you make time for a more in depth skin care. Or it could be 5 extra minutes stretching. It could be taking 5 minutes at the kitchen table talking with your family. You don’t have to free a whole day (thought it might be a good idea once in a while) for yourself, but if we spend 5 minutes daily being conscious about ourselves, we end up having 35 min to our selves a week. It might seem like very little but, it is better than nothing. (and lets all be honest if you don’t have 5 or even 15 minutes a day, to take care of yourself….you do not have a life.)

Should we make this topic a series?

Maybe you guys want me to make it into a series? Self care Monday? Once a month, where I give you guys ideas for self-care and how to make time for it. Like if you would like to have it every month and comment your own situation, so I can plan a realistic self-care routine for you. So you don’t come up with excuses πŸ˜‰

Thanks for reading like always and don’t hesitate to reach out to me, here or on my socials!

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

Define your success to guarantee it is YOUR success

I have posted a post a week no since last Sunday and today’s post will be the last one of the week. I will go back to posting couple of times a week again. This was a nice challenge that I made for myself and you should definitely try it to see how it will force you to create content…no matter what. But let us get to the topic of today. What does success to you mean? And how does defining it guarantee success.

So success to everyone looks different. For me personally success is about being fulfilled. I am fulfilled when I have variety in my life. I am fulfilled when I get to help people. Currently it is through this blog, but later on it will be through my Life Coaching.

This is not how your life will have to look. I mean fulfillment looks different for everyone. For you it could be becoming a mother. Or becoming a fitness coach or doing research. What ever it is, it is a great choice. (As long it isn’t becoming a murderer… that is not a good life path….sorry) So think what is it that brings you fulfillment.

What if I don’t know what I want to do in that much details?

This is very normal. I didn’t before either and the great thing about making life plans is that they can change. But I realized what I wanted to do was from seeing some of the things I liked/loved: I loved giving advice to people, I loved writing, I loved having an impact, I am creative, I enjoy psychology. Those things together for me = Life Coach. (Or at the moment a Personal Development blogger)

So that everyone is clear; your fulfillment doesn’t have to come from your job. It could be helping out your community, it could be helping kids learn to code during your free time. It can 100% be a hobby or “just” a side hustle.

Why is it important to define this?

Sometimes other peoples passion for things makes you think you want the same thing. Like oh they are a travel influencer? I want that too, I want to visit all those places. This doesn’t equal that you want to do that as a job. A travel influencer has to do a shit ton of photography, videos and editing + blogs. On top of that probably sponsorship’s they have to take care of so they can actually make those trips, and so so so much more. Are you ready for that? Maybe. If you are, then that is your path. However if not, then you should ask what you actually want to do. Not what someone makes look great.

Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic, asks a great question. What is your favorite flavor of Shit sandwich. The idea is, that everything you do is going to have something that you will hate, and you just have to figure out if it is worth it. Let’s stick with the travel influencer topic. The shit sandwich could be getting sick because of the different bacteria somewhere, or flying a lot, or having to organize a lot of trips all the time, or not being at home much etc. IF those flavors of shit sandwiches sound like a decent trade off, you are probably prepared to become a travel influencer. (Send me pics please, I love seeing those scenes and to get insporation of just visiting there and resting and NOT having to work πŸ˜‰ )

So what is that thing that would bring you fulfillment= make you successful? Leave it in the comments below! And don’t forget to connect with me and the community on the socials <3

xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Personal development

10 things that will make you a time management guru

So let me guess? You never have time for anything. You have a full time job, 4 kids and a high maintenance husband … or dog… I will tell you that you very much have the time. This is proven by a speaker and author Laura Vanderkam. She has interviewed many busy people. Resulting in a very simple theory that you can achieve way more than you think if you just believe in yourself, make time for priorities and plan things out. I happen to agree. Her ted talk is absolutely amazing and highly recommend it. Here is the link: Ted

What Laura points out to us that there is 168 hours a week. If you work a full time job of 40 hours a week and sleep a solid 8 hours per night (making it 56 hours a week of sleep) you still end up with 72 hours for your own things. As one of the people she interviewed said; instead of saying you don’t have time you should say that you chose not to do xyz because they aren’t your priority. Which is true. I shall soon demonstrate how.

10 ways to make time when you are 100% sure you don’t have it!

Unsubscribe from all unnecessary emails!

You don’t need to be signed up to 50 news letters you don’t need. You will save time organizing your email and you won’t feel the pull to check that one thing out just in case you are missing out. Rather save it into your bookmarks. If you actually think about that great page like you think. You will visit on your own, without an email telling you to. Saves you time because you choose when you check the page, instead of being sidetracked when answering an email.

Make priority lists:

Laura mentioned in her Ted talk that we have 3 categories we should allocate time to. Career, Relationships and Self. Make lists of 3 things into each of the categories you want to do daily or at least weekly. This could look something like this: Career; meeting with an important person, networking and doing that one course that will 10x your income. Realtionships: date night with your significant other, seeing/being in contact with your closes friends, calling your family. Self; skin care, gym, reading/online course. This doens’t mean that you don’t get to do anything else. You most certainly will have to answer emails, make calls, and so much more. BUT if the things that are on the lists make you fulfilled you should schedule them into your calendar first.

Make people priority lists.

This sounds weird and harsh but it is effective. No matter what some people are more important to you than others. Your family is probably number 1, then your significant other and then your friends. But if you have say 20 friends that you are quite often in touch with, you have to see which ones of them you need to prioritize.

How you do this is up to you. You might want to prioritize those you haven’t seen in a while or maybe those who are closer to you are the ones who get the most attention. There is no wrong answer. Just make sure that you take care of your social side in a smart way. You can book 20 meetings with friends in a week. I am sure it is easy even if you see couple of them at once. But do you want to put yourself through that?

What are your time wasters?

How do you spend the time you commute? How about the time you wait for the doctor to call you into his office? What do you do during your lunch break? Most of you will answer that you check emails or social media or something else not important. Doing some of those is fine. But instead of scrolling insta on the bus, why not read/listen to a book?

During lunch break why not talk with co-workers, you will get some socializing in and build stronger networks. If you work from home you could go for a walk for 15 minutes and then eat. So many choices, check from the self category what is on the priority list; reading? Gym? Could you make it happen instead of being is social media?

See what can you outsource or automatize.

Certain emails you can mark as junk or make them go into the right folder. Bills you can pay automatically in online banks, so you don’t have to worry about anything else except that there is money on your bank account. You can outsource some of your emails. For example if something is to do with marketing and you have a marketing team, you can make sure those emails forward automatically to your team.

Or you can ask your office assistant to bring you a latte (if it is part of her job, no need to make her run just cos you are a coffee addict.) You can ask someone else to do almost anything. Make sure that only those tasks you absolutely need to do will get done by you.

Say no.

Look its is sooooo hard. I know. We live in a world where A) we get bombarded with new things all the time and B) everything is marketed in “you don’t want to miss out on this”. The fear of missing out is real! But the actual truth is that you can’t attend all the concerts, movie premiers, trips to all over the world, still have a family, job plus a social life. So you have to say no to opportunities, to people asking for your help and to your own wants as well.

If you don’t know whether to say no or yes, check your priority list. Does it take care one of them, for example seeing friends. Cool say yes. If it doesn’t do anything for you but actually takes time off the priorities say no. It is normal to miss out on things. But missing out on a concert is way better than feeling stressed about how to fit in the important things.

Don’t overbook yourself.

This might seem counter intuitive. Why should I mark that I commute to work place in 45 minutes when I know it takes only 30. Because, sometimes the car breaks down, the traffic is weird, the bus driver doesn’t see you and doesn’t stop etc. The 15 minutes is a buffer time, that makes it possible for you to be late and still be on time. If you however are the 15 minutes earlier, you can walk to your favorite cafe and get that latte, so your assistant doesn’t have to be running around. Genius!

Own less.

Look this is one of those wtf are you talking about, but seriously just listen. If you have only 10 outfits to chose from you will be way faster than if you have 100 of them. The same thing goes if you have one pen, your favorite, you don’t have to try the 30 ones out. If you have 50 books that you have on the to read shelf, you will take your whole reading time trying to choose what you feel like. (And you will change the book choice next time.) So owning less will save you time. A while back I have talked about minimalism and how to pick and choose from trends in this post. : Picking and Choosing

Don’t bother over thinking.

Laura has a quote: “Most stuff doesn’t matter. Think about today’s date two years ago. Can you remember what you were worried about then?” Probably not and the truth is it probably wasn’t a big deal then either. But you stressed about it. You lost sleep over it. Didn’t work as well due to the lack of sleep etc. Stop stressing all the time.

Take time to do things that are “time wasters”

Now don’t you dare only read this and tell all of your friends how Alisa told you to waste your time. Nu-uh! However this is an actual tip from me. Sometimes we deserve to just watch a silly comedy on the TV with a bucket of ice cream. Or scroll on Instagrams cat video page. It is perfectly fine to take this time to switch out brains off. As long as we don’t forget to put them back on.

Key take away from the Ted Talk:

In Laura’s Ted talk there was something that really resonated with me: She tells about a busy woman who had no extra time. But then her water cooler broke, which resulted in a huge mess. As you can imagine. It took 7 hours from her week to get rid of the water and to clean everything up. Now if you had asked that woman if she had 7 extra hours in her week. She would have probably said hell no. But because there was a crisis, she found the 7 hours.

What Laura says is that “We can’t make time but it will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it.” So in short, our priories should be treated like that water cooler crisis. We just have to find time for them. After all it is what will make us actually fulfilled.

Thanks for reading , don’t forget to comment your favorite tip. Also please follow me on my socials, seen on the left, or from the 3 lines if you are on a mobile device πŸ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

Here is some more links that I used for inspiration or that I feel you should πŸ˜‰

https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2019/05/12/9-ways-to-curb-burnout-and-carve-out-time-for-whats-truly-important/#578319372446

Goals, Personal development

5 mindsets that will make you successful

I am sure if you follow certain successful people, you have noticed certain aspects. Now there are exceptions to these rules and the reason they work, is exactly because of that, they are exceptions. So once you learn this receipt, you are free to try and get out of the box. I actually implore that you do. But first; let’s find out the clear ones:

  1. Be nice. Don’t over do it. Don’t let others walk over you. But while being nice and sweet is usually seen as a personality trait. It can totally be your mindset. You can choose to be nice. If someone steps on your shoes, and you want to bark at them, instead just smile and say it isn’t an issue. If a customer is being rude, just apologize for the inconvenience and wish them a good rest of a day. Not in a sarcastic voice ( tho you might want to, trust me I’ve been there….) but honestly. Most of the time it makes the customer get a bit flustered and makes them regret being rude.
  2. Be a problem solver.Sometimes you will get questions you don’t know an answer to. Instead of just saying: “Sorry, I have no idea”. Figure it out. Make a call, google it anything. It might not even be something relating to your job. A great attention from someone who isn’t even your customer can reach to someone who is a potential customer. And the chance is that if they already are a customer they will stay that way and tell about you to others. So, you don’t lose anything.
  3. Everything is figureoutable. Ties in a lot with the one before: This is something that Marie Forleo preaches and if I am not mistaken she was the one to coin the term. But having this mindset will help you with building a business, figuring out a homework, figuring out how to help a customer. Anything and everything. There is something supper powerful in a person who finds a solution.
  4. Be charming: There is nothing more amazing than a person who is great at achieving things, being nice and on top of all that a charmer. It can be simple like helping someone carry things you see them struggling with. It can be your boss, co-worker, customer. Comment on someones outfit. Smile when ever possible. People often tell that saying good morning to your co-workers does amazing things and I absolutely agree to that. However you can say hi even if you are on the phone and both hands are busy, just smile, or blink at them. Problem solving, remember?
  5. Have a humor: This has its risks. Obviously. Everyone will find different things fun. I happen to be sarcastic. But I don’t have to use sarcasm if I sense that the “audience” isn’t on the same page on that. It can be a dad joke, or even just laughing at someone else’s joke. It can be laughing at being clumsy. The more you smile and laugh (in a professional way)

So in short; be someone with an entrepreneurial mindset. Get shit done and be fun, nice and charming about it!

Success is a long ass road. So don’t come barking at me for not becoming a millionaire yesterday just because you have these mindsets. You need to do so much more than just these. BUT these mindsets will make you go extremely far. You might not become successful just having these mindsets but without these you definitely won’t be. Trust me.

Which of these have worked for you in the past? Or which do you need to implement for the future?

Xoxo, Alisa

P.S Don’t forget to follow me on the socials seen on the left πŸ˜‰

Personal development

Why “HAPPINESS” is bullshit

Running after happiness is like running after someone who will kiss you and then punch you in the face.

Alisa

Happiness is such a broad word and I at least feel like it doesn’t actually mean anything. It is just a filler in a conversation: “Are you happy?” I will try to explain why happiness is kinda bs. However to make sure we don’t have to start studying biology and chemistry, I have simplified everything a lot. So please if you want more information, check the links I have left at the end, and research yourself. Let’s get into it:

There is a reason why the world happy is in quotes, in the title. I don’t think we understand what happiness means. And the truth is that my happiness and your happiness are two very different things. For some reasons though, we always try to copy others in the hope of getting the same kind of hit that the other person got. The we get bitter when it doesn’t make us feel good and we feel like we’ve been lied to…

So let’s talk about what is happiness scientifically (very simplified). DOSE (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphin) are in charge of the feelings of happiness, in very different ways. Endorphins come out to play when you do something that you have to power through like fitness goal. While oxytocin makes you bond with people and serotonin is a regulator. You get dopamine actually when you anticipate something. Why is this important to understand? Well this means there at least 4 different ways to be “happier”. Actually more because there are other chemicals in the brain that work to make you feel “good” but I won’t get into them all.

However this gets us to the next point I have. The happiness chemicals don’t work in the sense that we think that they do. Easy example would be serotonin. The chemical that makes you feel hungry and happy after you eat. (simplified a lot). So then you would think that food makes you happy. And it does, in a way. That is why it is easy to start over eating. Because who doesn’t like food. This means that we will get happy from over eating. And from expecting the food we get dopamine… but when have you ever hear about an actually happy food addict. Someone who is over weight is not happy. They might act happy with food in front of them but a little while after they eat they get sad and guilty and then there is the cycle. Eat be happy stop eating feel bad. What do you think we end up doing? … Yeah … eating some more.

So, if we think about happiness as the surge of chemicals and lack of happiness when chemicals aren’t having a party, this means we must always DO something, in order to be happy. BUT this is again where our brains will work against us. Because what better way than get a DOSE than to sit around all day, scroll the phone, order uber eats and then just do the same thing when you feel the guilt and self loathing raise? This is the reason “happiness” isn’t such a great concept and feeling good for a while doesn’t mean you are happy overall.

I suggest a very easy cure for you all who feel like happiness is always running away from you. Instead of grabbing that burger, phone, having sex(All of which are btw good things in moderation) What I suggest is making a list of things that make you feel good AND proud/fulfilled after you do it. Want to feel good about bonding with people? Help someone. Want to feel the anticipation of something? Try planning a trip or organize a get together with friends. Or try something new that you have never done before. The key is to feel good even after you are done doing it. Not that you have failed yourself. This takes away the huge crashes you might get.

So happiness isn’t only about getting some chemicals to party in your brain. You must also make them party in a good way, instead of making them feel hangover after 10 minutes. Doing good things, smart things will make you feel good for longer, because the memory of those good things will make you feel happy again instead of sad.

Now to the last but maybe the most important point: HAPPY isn’t the same thing as easy. Happy isn’t about getting the biggest hit of DOSE, often. It is about balancing out things. It is about making yourself proud, fulfilled. This is why I strongly suggest to run after fulfillment, about feeling good in a smart way. Running after happiness on its own is like running after someone who kisses you and then punches you right after it… and I don’t think that is a healthy relationship to be in. Even if its just inside our brains. Run after being fulfilled and proud of who you are. That will be more like running after someone who isn’t actually running away from you. They are just playing tag with you and once you catch them, they will kiss you and take you out on a date. (Better than the punch in the face right?)

What are the smart things that make you happy? What makes you fulfilled and proud of yourself after? If you have questions, about this or something else, let me know! I will be happy to try and answer or to even write a blog post on the topic!

Here are the resources I used for the blog: 4 Chemicals and Psychology Today Also don’t forget to check out the communities we have (and take part in them πŸ˜‰ ) over here:

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Xoxo, Alisa

Personal development, Reading and Books

5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

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Personal development

Jealousy; success killer

In this age it is so normal to have an opinion about everything. But does this opinion stem from something else except just “well I think this way”… perhaps jealousy?

More often than not I hear about how rich people are so selfish and if you have money then you sold your soul to the devil. If you look beautiful then of course you are shallow and you probably just got an operation done to enhance your looks. (If you have done an operation to enhance your look as long as it doesn’t harm you I don’t have anything against it)

But honestly, a lot of those people who have a lot of money actually do fight against every day issues. Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to fight against climate change iiSuperwomanii also known as Lily Singh is known to work for girls right (she also happens to have over 10 million subscribers on her platforms and is a millionaire and happens to be amazing)

Here is also a link to 30 most generous celebrities on Forbes.

My point is that just because you are rich doesn’t make you a bad person. Or if you look amazing or if you are famous or what ever it is that people feel the need to be jealous about…

The jealous are troublesome to others but a torment to themselves

William Penn

Money doesn’t make anyone good or bad. Money helps it show to others who you were before you got it. Selfish or not. Good looks don’t make you bad. A lot of beautiful people work hard in order to bring body positivity to the world.

Maybe people who talk about others in a negative, jealous way just want to be rich but they try to come up with excuses not to actually put the hard work required to become rich. It easier to say rich people are bad, because of course then you don’t need to work to become successful, who would inherently want to become a bad person?

The world as it is doesn’t have space for jealousy. If you want something go and work for it. Become a good successful person. You think of all people who are rich to be bad? Become the exception. But don’t let your jealousy and your excuses make you a bitter person. Because just like a successful person can be bad so can a poor/bitter person.

I would also like to add that those people who are extremely rich and are not interested in anyone else except themselves, who just harm others. They aren’t actually successful. Success is having a family, friends, health and great experiences in life. You can have those things without money. How ever you can’t buy loved ones with money, nor health. This is why I don’t ever think a horrible and selfish rich person will ever be actually successful nor happy.

I honestly think it would be a good thing to talk more about money. Not in the sense of I have this much and I can buy this many Channel products. But in the form of like here are all the good things you can get with money; you can take care of your family, you can help people achieve more things, you can have positive experiences that inspire you, you can study things and bring more value to others. You can donate to people in crisis, you can donate to hospitals. And yes, you can use the money on yourself as well, taking care of yourself, wanting good and wonderful things for yourself isn’t a sin. When you care for yourself, what ever that means to you, you can better serve others. As long as not everything is about you, money bad.

I honestly believe we will do way better as a nation if we just hate on people less. Instead of acting as if a mean tweet or youtube comment will change something, make sure we change the world with the way we live our lives. Like Tom Bilyeu always asks the people who he interviews ” What’s the impact you want to have on the world?” Ask yourself that and work on achieving it, instead of acting as if bitching about how someone has a Lamborghini and you don’t is unfair. Cos this might come as a shock… but life isn’t usually fair; but you can be.


Thank you for reading! I hope you resonated with what I had to say and I hope that now you can feel good about working hard to be successful. Just become the most friendlies, loveliest and caring billionaire in the world who gives a lot of extra value and care to the planet and the people.

xoxo, Alisa

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Personal development

Make a decision and stick to it

I know what you are thinking. Thanks Alisa, that helped a lot. I sure as hell didn’t think you could have said anything more basic. And to that I will say, chill my friend. Just stick along and for what I have to say.

I am currently reading a book by Anthony Robbins; The Giant Within. Technically I am listening to it but you get my point. I am just starting up, but I am now in the part where he speaks about making decisions and how the choices we make can impact our whole life. But he makes a distinction between just a choice to see how things go and making a conscious decision to work for something. He goes as far as to state and we are so un used to making decisions we get lazy with it. That is why making a difficult important decision is so hard. And this got me thinking, how long I have lived my life in a way of just letting the current take me where it wants to.

What is Robbins idea for making our decision making muscle grow? Practice of course. Start making small decisions and sticking with them. You can do a big and a small decision just to see how it feels. And practice until you making a life changing decision won’t seem like “Oh well, but I wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.” Hell yeah you can, if you chose to do it.

I haven’t gotten further in the book, but I assume that Tony will talk about this at some point. I will still mention this as a thought. It isn’t enough to decide that I want thing A or I want to reach a million followers or what ever it is that your goal is. I would assume that a real decision requires action. You decide to do everything in your power to reach that goal, that idea, that step in your life.

How would this look in practice? I would think that not only do you decide what you want to do you make decisions on how to make it work and take action. Let’s try to see with an example shall we.Β  Let’s say you want to be a business owner:

  1. Decide what business you would want to own. Personal Development? Helping people find their missing relatives? What ever it is, just chose that.
  2. Decide to research the crap out of that topic. What type a business should it be. How much money to invest. How to market this project.
  3. Decide and make a email list, to whom you tell about this opportunity. (Beneficial if they are your targeted audience.
  4. Decide to invest, and do it.
  5. Start making daily decisions that make it possible to work on your business. If you are broke and investing right away isn’t a choice, make a decision to find a job to help pay for your dreams.
  6. Baby steps, even small decisions can have a big impact.

As always thank you for reading. If you have read the book please let me know what you thoughtΒ  and if you want to read the book or listen to it you can find it online πŸ™‚

-Alisa