Spirituality

You choose to have a shit day!

(Disclaimer… this doesn’t apply to you if you are suffering from a mental illness but even if you are I am 100% sure you can get some take away from this post)

Or to have a great freaking day! Either way it is your choice. And yes, even if you house burned down, even if you are suffering from a loss of a loved one and any other reason you might have for having a bad day/week/life.

Everyday we have up to 80 000 thoughts….most of which are autopilot thoughts like “I need to go to bathroom, it is raining again, why is that kid screaming” etc. For the brain it is better to have autopilot thoughts most of the time because imagine if you would actually pay attention to every single fleeing thought… yeah you would drive yourself nuts.

But you still kind of do. And you can choose not to. Now don’t get me wrong this is not to say you can’t have negative thoughts ever. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel sadness, anger or frustration ever. That wouldn’t be healthy and it’d mean you are suppressing your emotions. That isn’t good either. What I mean is this:

If there is traffic, instead of going on and on about how much it sucks, just accept it. “There is traffic today, the good side is I get to listen to my music/audio book etc for longer. I’ll just let my boss know.”

I know this will feel harder if the situation that has got you angry/sad is bigger, like losing a loved one. And while you should 100% mourn and feel sadness, (if you don’t either that loved one was a horrible person or you are)…. but what you can do is remember the happy memories you shared, think of the fact that they would want you to have new happy memories even if it is without them and so on. (Note, I am not saying it is easy… however, it does get easier)

When ever you have a negative thought you can turn it around, it doesn’t have to me anything big, nor does it have to be unrealistic. If your parent died you don’t have to the next day be like “I am the happiest person alive”… you shouldn’t be.

Evolutionary we have been built in a way that makes us see everything from a lens of “Is this a threat”. Thanks to that we have survived very well until now. Most things in our lives aren’t a threat. No tigers, bears and venomous snakes haunting us at every turn. So we can relax and try to turn our brains towards the light.

Here are some tips to improve your way of thinking:

  1. Journal 3 things that are well in your life, it can be list form, just words or actual paragraphs.
  2. Visualize your day going well. Don’t think of what could go wrong, but more on the lines of if everything went perfect; how does that look?
  3. Catch your thoughts, even if you have already thought “Damn the traffic” you can turn it around “The traffic sucks but I can listen to the audio book now!”
  4. Seek people who don’t always talk negatively. This is SO HARD. I mean there has been so many times that I have talked with friends like let’s stop the negative whining. “If you can change it, change it, if not change your attitude”. When its a habit it is hard sometimes. It is possible tho, and if those friends who you have aren’t really worth the effort and they don’t want to change, you might have to find new friends.
  5. Find help… if you are stuck and you see no light at the end of the tunnel…if you are depressed, please talk to a professional. Personal development helps, but you might need that push/that helping hand to help you out of the gorge.

The fact is, everyday there is something to look at and this wow this sucks… and also wow this is amazing. It is your choice which option you spend your energy on.

I hope this helps and good luck for the spring. I know the situation in the world doesn’t really make anything easier 😀

Best regards,

Alisa

New way of Goal Setting

Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.

Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.

Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.

What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.

So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.

Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?

P.S Happy belated Easter!

Xoxo

Law of Attraction

Daily I am more and more interested in the wonders of the Law of attraction or manifestation. I am aware that a lot of people do not believe in it. I how ever think it is a powerful tool, to take in to day to day life.

In short law of attraction is you attracting what you think about, weather or not it is conscious. So if you are all the time negative you will attract bad things, even things you specifically do not want to attract. But if you are positive then you will attract positivity. And for those who do not believe in this kind of a “voodoo” talk let me give you an example.

When you are in a bad mood, you tend to talk to others maybe a bit less politely and thus they do the same to you. Maybe you say something bad about someone and that someone finds out and confronts you etc. So negativity gives back negativity. But if you are positive and happy, you might give a compliment to someone, and by making them smile you smile even brighter, then someone will notice that smile and compliment you on it. See the pattern here? Law of attraction works with the same base line but on a deeper level.  For more in detail explanation on what Law of Attraction is visit this link:

What Is The Law Of Attraction? Open Your Eyes To A World Of Endless Possibilities

The reason why I am so excited about the law of attraction, is that it can make a huge difference to our lives. Concentrating on the positive is proven to improve our mental health and get us to work hard to improve ourselves as people. By using law of attraction not only will it help to achieve more goals, it will help enforce the positive in us and around us.

Law of attraction is NOT magic, it isn’t this pseudo science thing that will all of a sudden give you all the answers and a billion bucks. You have to work with it. It is a tool to help you. It is there to guide you, but it is not an answer without hard work. Do not assume that this will make your life easy. You have to work hard on what your beliefs are about you and the surroundings, you have to make a conscious change with how you live your life but if you do; you will see results like no other.

To those who wonder if I have seen results in my life with the Law of Attraction then the answer is yes. If I am positive, a lot more good happens to me. If I am negative I become extremely clumsy, I bump into things and I hit myself against objects etc etc.

If you find it hard to change your views, hard to achieve a consciously positive mind, I suggest you turn to meditation. It doesn’t have to be a long session of sitting on your buttocks for an hour. It can be what ever you enjoy doing, that will clear you mind; painting, drawing, coloring, writing, going for a walk. If you want more information, then please comment below and I can make a post about meditation and how I do not think there is a right or wrong way to do it.

Thanks for reading,

xoxo, The Writer