Personal development

Not everyone listens, do you?

We are more separated from each other than ever. Everything or close to everything is about being correct. Everyone has that vice in them. To be honest I think it should be 8th of the deadly sins. The feeling, the need to always have something to say. And to have an opinion about things that you have only heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. (x 10 of a friend).

I am so so guilty of this. Ask my boyfriend, he will tell you. I pretend to be right about some political subject or business subject and I don’t even follow political or business news. I am such a fraud!  And chances are that so are you. And that is ok if you are willing to work on it. Because a society, the world cannot function if we all act like 5-year-olds and pretend that we don’t know that we can’t get through a wall no matter how hard we bang our head against it. “But I want to get through the wall, it is a stupid wall if I can’t through it, mom you are so stupid why didn’t you say it would hurt if I’d bang my head against the wall 20 times.” Sadly we are no longer 5. The world’s issues aren’t as small as whether or not we get to go to a birthday party. (Remember how the biggest offense you could do to someone was to say they weren’t invited to your birthday? Anyway…) 

Now more than ever we must open our mouths not to yell out how correct we are about everything, but to say “Hmmm that is interesting, please explain your point of view.” Look, chances are you won’t agree. There are some cultural, religious and political opinions that I just won’t agree because my brain even without factual information doesn’t feel like it makes any sense. But listening. Trying actually trying to understand what the other person says doesn’t cost you anything. That is the key to communication and accepting that sometimes people don’t agree with each other. That doesn’t mean that you have to hate them, cut all ties to them and be ready to punch them in the face the moment they walk towards you. (It might be impossible to be friends with them, but you can still be polite!)

There is enough hate, violence and just plain darkness in our world, and by not listening, by needing to always be right (and to cut ties to a person who disagrees with you) we are inherently building a society that will collapse. If a bridge that is made of many pieces, will all of a sudden crumble because it has too many cracks in them the same thing happens to our social structure. 

Don’t burn bridges when you don’t even know how to build them in the first place

No structure human-made or made of humans will hold if everything is going to be separated. I myself believe that internet, social media and the “old” media all are contributing to this. The Internet is such a huge huge source of information, but you can pick and choose what you want to read on. Online texts and videos don’t go through the same kind of process that books do and still there are also books that are total bullshit. 

On social media, it is so easy to say our point of view, without our faces ever shown, without anyone ever knowing who we are. It gives us the feeling of safety to say whatever we want, without needing to feel accountable for those words. No need to research what I say, (from the different point of views) cos no one will actually know it was me.  The fact that the more clickbaity the headline is the more reads you get is sadly very true. Even for me, I am way more attracted to a  shocking headline that is meant to provoke than an article that describes actual information about new cancer studies. 

We live in a world where what we say has to have shock value more than it has to have information value. But we have to make sure that we are smarter than that. We have great communication skills if we practice them beyond sending a WhatsApp msg “whazzup” or telling some to go fuck themselves.

Some information makes my blood boil. And makes me mad and sad. But reacting to it in a harsh way is not going to help anything or anyone. You can use words as a weapon, but only if you are saying something that is researched and true (please realize that with many subjects your truth will be different from someone else’s truth) , so that is someone is going to read both of your comments/stories, then they can pick the smarter sounding one (for them) to believe and support. 

The other part to this thing about being calm and researched rather than exploding like a bomb is that no matter how much you yell. How much you scream and how hysterical you become it probably won’t change their minds. It won’t make them all of a sudden wake-up and be ” oh now that you screamed at me and told me that my mom is a wh*** I am going think the way you think”

It is possible to look from afar and not agree with something and still do your thing without judging. Judging is something that religions also frown upon yet many people still feel the need to judge someone in the name of God. (“I am not judging you but what you are doing is wrong and you will burn in hell, and I hope you know that “<– that is still judging, just btw.)

We think that is we don’t judge them then it shows our morals. But really it doesn’t. Morals are shown by us acting in a certain way when those choices come to us and our lives. Somethings like murder, things that affect other people like trying to make groups of people submit or situations that are radical to that extent, I can understand trying to work against that in a more radical way. But if someone doesn’t believe in your God or doesn’t think that certain people should have rights or that people shouldn’t have the power to choose about their own lives and bodies, the best way to fight them off, to change things, isn’t to fight with those who have chosen not to listen, but to talk openly with those who want to listen and change things and come to compromises. 

We all need to be more open on becoming those people who are open to talking, coming to a compromise and to work together to make the world a better and safer place to live. There is always going to be judgment, hate, anger, and resentment. There are always going to be people who instead of just disagreeing with you and saying it in a polite way, will try to make you the villain. Don’t let them have the power to do so.

I should totally not get this cup 😀

If anything, pity those, who can’t open their minds and hearts for possibilities beyond their noses. And remember no matter who it is. People are just that, people. Whether we are the creation of God, something spiritual that we will never figure out or just purely what Darwin has written about, we are flawed. We are so flawed all of us and there is no such thing as perfection. 

This is a bit different from what I usually write, but I really needed to put this out there. I hope all of us will work to at least improving the harshness of our opinions and views, some that we can open the lines of communication and all live in a world that is more peaceful and less of a time bomb ready to explode. 

What do you guys think? I am sure all of you have a lot of opinions, leave them down below. Just remember openness to discuss will get us further than building a wall of “I am correct I don’t need to listen to what they have to say, and I should curse them just to feel more secure about myself” 

Xoxo Alisa

Health, Lessons in life


Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer

Personal development

Why the rush?

Hacks are everywhere! How to do this faster! What is the shortcut to this place? Ugh! I really  don’t want to walk there because it takes me 20 minutes more than going by car. Rush rush rush! Time is money. Everything is about being as efficient and fast as possible. But is this the way to live?

I am all about personal development, about being the best you, that you can possibly be. And that is why me talking about being more slow might be a bit of a contradicting topic but bear with me. I promise it makes sense.

We live in the world with productivity and fastness have become the new “trend”. People want to hire people who are fast as a bullet and get at least 5 things done at the same time. But what does it do to us?

Doing things at the same time has been proven not to actually work. Our brains as amazing as they are, are wired so  that we can properly do one thing at the time. This has been proven for example by a Dichotic Listening test where a person listen to 2 things at the same time. They are asked after what they remember and in the end they remember mostly from just one one of the two things they were listening.  (more about it here

Now you needing to just concentrate on one thing, or do things a bit slower isn’t something you should regard as a weakness. Actually I think it is the other way around. If you just sit down and do one thing, and do it properly, chances are your results will be much better than a so called multitasker. And on top of that you will stress a lot less. Running around like a headless chicken isn’t one of the most relaxing past times.

Have you noticed that if in the morning you wake up late and have to rush out of the house you feel very disorientated and just kind of meh? That is because you didn’t have the time to just spend time doing things in order and making sure you have everything together. But if being in a rush and “multitasking” in the morning is bad, why would it be good for you later during the day?

How to lessen the feeling of a rush? 

  1. Give yourself more time: Wake up 20 minutes earlier, it isn’t that much so you can lose that amount of sleep. But it will give you the extra 20 min to have a calm morning. If you lost your sock, you still have time to find another one.
  2. Give yourself more time to get to places. Sometimes walking is a good idea okay? It gives you time and space to have your own thoughts and process what is about to happen soon plus you get fresh air.
  3. Give yourself more time to finish tasks. Most of the time we overestimate our capacity on doing things. And when we do not reach our goal in time we feel like a failure and like we are out of time constantly because we “take away” time from the next task. So just allot yourself 20/30 minutes more time that what you originally planned the task to take. That way you will not feel stressed all the time.

Please note the common thread through all of these tips: give yourself more time! 

Thanks for reading and good luck!


The Writer

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