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Tag: selfhelp

The perfect little lie

Tomorrow, I will start my new life. I will get 25 things done (half of which take 5h each) I will learn 20 languages and I will never, ever put things off ever again. And what happens the next morning at 5 am? Snooooooooooze.

So what what is the act of putting things of called? Procrasitnation.

Why do we procrastinate? If we are talking from a human experience point of view I would say we procrastinate for couple of reasons. Some more acceptable than others.

  1. Fear of Failure We as humans need to succeed. Failing has often this humiliating affect on us. Instead of accepting that we learned how not to do something, we think we just failed for the rest of our lives. So the next time we don’t even try (and lets be honest. That is the real failure)
  2. Bad health habits. Now there is a lot of research done on how to optimize your brain and one of those ways is to be healthy. So eating a healthy balanced diet, exercising and sleeping enough. It is quite simple … how ever sometimes we seem to procrastinate on becoming healthy… what a vicious cycle it is.
  3. Being addicted to something; in today’s age it is increasingly easy to boast about how you don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. BUT do you perhaps touch your phone every 6 minutes? Because that is an addiction. If someone would alcohol every 6 minutes or smoke a cigarette that often, you wouldn’t question that they have an addiction but somehow with phones it isn’t the same?

If we discuss why we procrastinate from a biological/ physical point of view its due to our brains being structured to not want to do things that are difficult or that we are afraid of. So if our brain senses a danger (aka we dread a project) it automatically puts us into a mode of resistance to the hard thing, and we reach for the phone or what ever it is that we rather do. (Even though we are more adapted to resist difficult things do not make this your excuse, you’ll just live a miserable life.) Read more here: Science Behind Procrastination

How do we make sure that we leave procrastination to the minimal? (sometimes we are allowed to stumble)

  1. Place in routines that help you. Start your morning smartly. Instead of procrastinating getting up, make your alarm ring across your room (and don’t let it be your phone) Do maybe a couple of jumping jacks so you don’t feel like going back into bed. Wash your face with cold water …or take a cold shower. (it suck to take it btw.) But when you do difficult things right in the morning, when you are somehow still able to resist temptation it makes your rest of the day less resistance based.
  2. Figure out the issues you have: Is the project too large to conceptualize right away? Well make it into small sections, e.g. research, take notes, write paragraph 1-3 and 4-6 and lastly 6-10, proof read, come up with a good title, write down the resources you used and send it. Often times people get into this head space of the end goal. If you are obese and your eventual goal is to be a body builder, you will have to find small wins along the way. It can’t count as a failure if you don’t wake up next morning with six pack abs after eating healthy once or going to the gym once. With this logic it can’t be counted as a failure to take smaller steps in completing a project either.
  3. Figure out what motivates you. Not on a short term. But on a bigger scale. Is it being proud of doing the things you promised yourself you would do. Maybe you want to feel beautiful and healthy. Maybe you don’t like being stressed all the time. What ever it is for you, link your goals to feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and joy. Things won’t bring joy on a longer time line. So don’t count yourself to deserve a coffee if you get done with a project. It is very easy to talk yourself into having a coffee because your need a pick me up. Trying to believe that you will be proud of yourself even if you fail in an exam, isn’t that easy.

What do you guys struggle with the most when it comes to procrastination? Leave it down in the comments. Would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading and until next time.

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How I meditate now?

You are not meditating wrong. Unless you aren’t meditating. I want to tell you how I have been able to incorporate meditation into my life. If someone tells you to do something but doesn’t give you a chance to do it your way, you will eventually quit doing it. 

Why should we meditate? 

Meditation has many health benefits and it has been often said to have been a very important contributor to success. Oprah, Angelina Jolie, Tom Bilyeu, Hugh Jackman, and so many others meditate.

What does it do ?

It makes you present, gives you more clarity in your thoughts and gives you the discipline to work hard. Because you have taught yourself to not follow every thought, or if to follow them do so in a controlled manner.

How do I do it?

I have so many things in my head at any given time, esp now with school and work at the same time. I decided there is a way to help this “monkey mind”. I can actually make it less hectic. How? I write my thoughts out in a mind map. You might wonder why is this a better way than the more traditional one… It isn’t. It is just something that works for me. First I get to see all that is going in my head, in a concise package. The point usually of the mind map is to just blurt out things onto paper and find some things that relate to others and sometimes it helps you find solutions.


Photo by 
Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

For me honestly, it isn’t about the solutions. Not in this state. It is to calm and quiet my mind so that once I start work I can concentrate on it. And a good tip is to have a piece of paper with you while you work. If some thought just keeps bugging you, write it down and analyze it later.

Hope you found this idea helpful. I am sure there will be some people who will say that this isn’t meditation. But it calms me, it helps me think more clearly and it makes me stay in the present moment. In my mind that is pretty close to meditation.

As always, thank you for reading. Comment and Follow. My goal is to grow and improve so all constructive criticism is welcome (and compliments too 😀 )

Xoxo

Alisa

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Phone addiction; why is it bad?

Today we use our phones a stupid amount. According to Business Insider, we check our phones up to 2, 617 times a day. And that is our “normal use” if you are a heavy user then that number rises up to 5, 400 times. That means you touch it about 180 times an hour if you are using it within a time period of 12 hours. (As a normal user). And that sounds to me that it’s a huge issue. And I don’t think that it sounds like a healthy amount at all.

Full article here: Business Insider

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

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Time is ticking and your thumbs are just tapping Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

The List has interviewed a couple of doctors about the negative effects that the overuse of our device can lead to.  And to be honest not one of the symptoms is something I haven’t to an extent or another noticed in myself.

  1. Eye strain is a common issue for me. It is also something that Dr. Howard Purcell explains to Adria Valdes Greenhauff, the writer of the article “What really happens when you stare at your phone all day”. The eyes have 6 muscles that control its use and one of them is in charge of focusing the eyes. If you don’t let your eyes rest from focusing it will eventually grow tired. Ever had red, itchy and achy eyes? Maybe even a full blast headache? Yeah me too.
  2. We have a lot of overuse injuries as well, Dr. Jennifer Stagg talks about the strain using your phone causes to your neck. Even an inch of a head drop can lead to double the load on the muscles. Using your phone can lead to wrist and thumb issues as well according to Dr. Stagg.
  3. Using the phone all the time can lead to lower oxygen levels. As if all of the other issues wasn’t enough. If you have trouble sleeping you might as well first check how much you use your phone (especially during the evening)
  4. A couple of next issues are ones that scare/bother me the most. Using the phone a lot can lead to self- inflicted anxiety, depression, concentration issues, and even hallucinations. Now I can attest to almost all of them. Depression not so much all of the other ones yes. The anxiety of missing out something important if I don’t check my phone. Not being able to concentrate on something for a long time because I am so used to see something new every 5 seconds (because I mean Instagram… scroll, scroll, scroll. Oh did the 5 hours already pass, shit?!) Have you sworn you heard a *bling* from getting a message, but you swore that your phone was silent? Yeah, it is silent. That bling you hear is in your head it is almost like wishful thinking because your brain wants you to check your phone again.

If you want to read the article in full please visit: TheList

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I have so many friends why am I so alone and depressed I wonder? Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

The thing is that no matter how much you try to tell yourself that you don’t use your phone too much. You probably do. And I know it is very hard to not use your phone because everyone else does it too but trust me it would be beneficial.

Even if  I have a semi-full day of school or work I somehow have been able to use my phone up to 5.5 hours. That is 1/3 of the time I am awake (about). In that amount of time, I could study my skills in Spanish or use it to research business stuff or an essay or… I am sure you get my point. I could manage about a billion things in 5+ hours but I use it to scroll the phone. Hmmm, where did the time go? I wonder…

But seriously what will it take to realize that no matter how imminent digitalization is, we don’t have to give it all the power. We can form boundaries. Because I don’t think that we have the capacity to deal with millions of people with concentration issues or who are depressed, anxious and having hallucinations.

 

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I swear I got a notification… hmmm Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

I wonder if we would spend only 30 minutes a day on the phone how much time would be freed for the things “we don’t have time for”

Thank you for reading! Let me know down in the comments below what you think!

– Alisa

 

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Change

Some of you might have noticed that I have been away a while. I have gone through a lot of change in the last month or so, and well it is catching up on me.

A lot of people who I hold dear are moving to new cities or even new countries, and even though I do not plan on stopping contact or anything like that it is certainly different not to have these people just couple of kilometers away.

On top of that change I am back to school for the fall semester and oh boy did we dive right into the studying. Not that I didn’t expect it. But it was a bit overwhelming after the summer.

Anyway this post won’t be as deep as my post usually are, more just rambling. But I do want to remind people that change isn’t bad. It makes life go forward and at some point you will see that things probably actually went to better than what you thought they would go.

You will lose people you love but some will stick around tighter than glue. You will learn more and more about yourself and you will learn about life. And that is the most exciting adventure after all. Just living your life to the fullest and not letting life paralyze you.

I am saying all of this as a reminder to myself as well, not to lose sight of my goals.  I am feeling quite out of the place. Uninspired I guess to a degree. Because I feel like I am so confused and in the middle of a tornado of feelings. And that is the reason I haven’t been here.

The pause is about to come to end and I should post a normal post next Thursday as per usual. Maybe I will post a little something to compensate or lack of activity here 😉

Thanks for reading

-Alisa

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What is Personal Development?

Personal Development is a lifestyle, at least in my opinion. It is a choice to make sure that you do not get stuck, that you keep moving forward and growing as a person. It is this idea, that no matter how much you know you never know enough and no matter how good you are at something you can always do better.

This doesn’t mean you should beat yourself over not being Mozart at the age of 15 or not being able to do the same kind of discoveries as Einstein. Look all of us have the things that we are either better or worse at. We get inspired by different things and that is fine. The important part is to be inspired. To find interest in whatever it is that we find interesting.

Personal Development is a healthy choice. It is a choice where you have control over the kind of person you are and want to become. It makes a huge difference when you can be educated and interesting to not only others but to yourself. Reading, writing, being an artist of any kind. Being sportive being a motivator, all of those things fall under being interested in developing, improving and growing yourself. To each their own. Really what makes you happy while trying to develop is your own business. It could be meditation, praying, reading 50 books in 2 weeks, watching documentaries. Whatever it is that you do, if it makes you grow, it really is worth the time and the effort.

But remember you do not have to pay 1000000000$$$ to someone to become a better version. Getting a book on the thing that interests you is great. Sitting and being mindful for 10 minutes, or even just 3 is great. In the end, it doesn’t take that much effort if you use about 30 minutes of your day, to become better, and who knows you might get hooked on it like me, and be doing it as much as possible.

Please comment below, how you like to better yourself. Let me know how your personal development journey started.

Xoxo,

The Writer

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