Lessons in life, Personal development

What is wrong with Social media?

I love love love love social media. I love looking at amazing pictures on Instagram or Weheartit or watching videos on Youtube. Learning about new things, talents and people through social media is great. Being able to connect with your friends whether they live next door or if they are 5000km away. But there so many issues and I think the sooner we accept that these are issues and we aren’t supposed to just “take it” the better.

  1. We aren’t supposed to post everything about everything. This is so so fake and sometimes mean. If you are about to help a homeless person. You do NOT need to take a video of it. That is just asking for thanks from other people. If you see a fight do not stop to take a video but call 911 or 112 depending on where you live. If you are about to go to the bathroom to take a dump, stop taking selfies every time in the bathroom. There is nothing with the concept of selfies but if it means that your friends have to wait on the outside for 10 minutes (or more) for you take the perfect on… that’s just sad.
  2. We do not have to accept that our attention span is soon shorter than a what a goldfish has.  I have a teacher in school who is a social marketing guru. And he is great don’t get me wrong. But I noticed that he kind of seemed to confuse marketing and day to day life. I took his course on Social media marketing and he taught us with videos. All of the videos were 3-10 minutes long maximum 15. And every time the video would be almost 15 min long he would keep apologizing for it being so long. Look in marketing the shorter the video with your point still getting spread the better BUT when we are learning something short ass videos is just frustrating. I had to all the time click for the next vid and to click it to start and all of that isn’t hard to do. It just made the subject really fragmented. What I mean is that we don’t have to just accept that our attention span is getting shorter. Just because digitalization is a real thing and to accept it doesn’t mean that we have to accept everything that comes with it. We need to still be able to concentrate for more than 30 seconds or 3 minutes at a time. It is impossible to write a 30-second book or to have a movie play out in 30 seconds (and for us to actually get the value out of them.)
  3. Beauty standards. We do not and never have to accept it. Here is why. If we look at a photo of a scientifically beautiful person. They are in every way symmetrical. Their eyes are on the same line (exactly) there nose is right down the middle of the face and so on. The issue is that of an actual human this “perfect” human looks alien like. They do not look good. So what I am trying to say is that there is no such thing as perfection because even scientific perfection doesn’t really look that good. What we do have to concentrate is on health. Actual overall health. Shape and size don’t automatically mean anything. Just like whether or not you have a “perfect” nose or something of the like. (Also what is a perfect nose?)
  4. Life standards. We aren’t all going to live in a villa near a beach with pool boys surrounding us. I mean we can do that. If we work hard and we achieve our goals (but I don’t even know if that should be everyone’s goal… to each their own) But let’s stop comparing our lives to the perfectly constructed story we are told on social media. It isn’t healthy.

Social media is interesting and fun. But we have to draw a line somewhere. How many hours do we scroll the feeds? How shitty do we feel when we see that person have everything we don’t? What about the way it affects our brains in a negative way? All these things aren’t something we have to accept!

Thanks for reading! Comment below what you think 🙂 What bothers you the most in Social Media?

Xoxo

-Alisa

Lessons in life, Spirituality

Stars sentenced to death

We read about suicides almost every week, drug overdoses and alcohol poisonings and so on. It is so common it almost feels normal. It shouldn’t be normal. This post is inspired by deaths of appreciated stars like Tim Bergling known as Avicii, Verne Troyer famous actor, and many others who’ve taken their own lives; By their own hand or through substance abuse is irrelevant.

“Well yes in the music business it is quite usual for someone to use too much of alcohol/drugs.” “Yes well, genius people often are depressed.” “Well, of course, they kill themselves and turn to drugs with so much pressure, it was to be expected.”

The actual truth is that they are dead because of us.

How many of us just love this artist, or despise another one. All of us have these opinions of people. He is cool, she is a bitch, that person is a slut and omg I wish I could marry xyz.

Who are we to judge them or to love them? We know nothing of them actually, just sometimes read an article of who fucked up and how they were dressed. Why are we talking about them like they wouldn’t be just like us…people?

Someone “smart” will say or think but they chose to be stars they should accept that they will be criticized and judged?

Is a doctor judged by the way he looks or whether not he has a good looking wife? Mostly a doctor is judged by a work well/badly done. Do we judge stars that way? No. We judge them by how they walk, dress, breath, sleep, have sex and whether or not they have made mistakes that anyone could do and probably has done.

All that we hate in ourselves we feel comfortable to judge in other people. And not just a little bit. We torture those people and we send them death threats and we spit on them. We make them suffer, because we don’t want to accept the fact that they are just like us, human.

Oh, how we salivate after a tabloid to just see a glimpse of someone who’s life isn’t perfect so we wouldn’t feel so miserable about not really being important. For not being perfect. For being very human, normal and not interesting. We need to see those people in the limelight to suffer and bleed so  we don’t feel so bad of being insignificant.

How many journalist have had to pester those stars, walk into bathrooms after them because we people pay for that shit. We pay to find out who cheated on whom and who dumped whom. And lets not forget all the love/hate letters people send to the stars “Omg I love you, you are amazing and I will kill you if you don’t love me back” That is love in its purest form folks. I hope someone would write me that. Maybe my boyfriend will one day. “Sighs happily”…

This frustrates me so much, people say well they just start hanging in the wrong groups and it is quite normal in the music business or among actors. Please let’s stop this bullshit. If they would be happy, relaxed and feel safe they wouldn’t feel the need to run to “mother’s little helper”. No one who is absolutely fine is going to go and ruin their body with drugs or alcohol. It might be a mental illness, it could be the stress maybe its a mixture of all, but those people aren’t fine. They are ill and miserable way before they even start using substances.

We will always want to have someone to look up to. Someone to compare ourselves to and that is fine. But there has to be a limit. A while back I saw a small video of Michael Jackson being an interview. And he was asked what he thought about touring. And he said he hated it. That he was stressed while doing it that he couldn’t sleep and he hated it. But that isn’t what we saw. No, the interviewer asked him to not say it like that. He asked Michael Jackson not to be so negative about it because the “viewers” don’t want to hear that. So the late singer had to tell the cameras that he loves the touring. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLJ8eGSJ-Ks )

These people can’t  tell us that they aren’t alright. They have to lie, because if they don’t they won’t be “loved” by us. Because really we don’t give a flying shit about these people. If we did, we’d treat them with the respect they deserve. Even if they make mistakes, bad ones, they deserve respect.

Judging is a normal thing people do, but especially now with the internet, words have way more power than we think. Let’s give people their right to make mistakes let karma do the rest. We aren’t anyone’s judge and jury and stars definitely don’t deserve a death sentence.

Health, Lessons in life

Everything wrong with school (My POV)

Education is great, teaching all the subjects that our society is prepared to teach kids (if you are born at a right time, to the right family with a right financial situation in the right country…) But there are many problems within teaching itself.  I would like to remind everyone reading that these issues I mention are purely my own experience and something I have noticed with friends or for example from YouTube videos.

One amazing YouTube video that is going to introduce you the issues with today’s schools, is this talk/rap by Prince EA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqTTojTija8 (The video state that Finland’s educational system is so ahead, and that may be the case, but it has been going down quite  a lot and even when it has been at its best it has had some issues. This coming from a Finnish student.)

So, what do I think that are the issues with schools; standardized tests, having a school class that looks the same as 150 years before, teachers not paid enough? What else?

We aren’t taught how to write good notes when we are young. Now, of course, everyone has their own way of making notes the best of the best for them. But while a lot of teachers assume we write notes for their classes no one teaches how to take them. This is not only something I find extremely frustrating. Sometimes teachers do lectures so very fast but never has bothered to explain how to make concise, smart notes that make sense after the lecture as well.

And people not knowing how to write good notes is very easy to notice on all the study tumblers, note taking videos on YouTube and so on. Students want answers, and who is better to push them in the right direction than schools and teachers who should know the most effective ways, right?

Science is against the way schools are now… but still, nothing changes? School starts early when science has proved that not everyone’s brain is functioning up to par in the mornings. Many very influential writers have a totally different schedule, they write when they are the most effective. Yet students are forced to wake up early and study very late.

Some lectures can last up to 3 hours if not more, sometimes pushing through with no breaks, so we get home earlier, but again studies indicate that people can’t concentrate more than 45 minutes at a time and that is on a good day.

Science proves chewing gum, doodling and fiddling with something during studying/listening can help concentrate, yet many teachers and parents tell the kids to stop being restless and “misbehaved”.

Speaking of being restless. If we go back to when I was in preschool or during my first years of “real” school, things weren’t that much better. We were assumed to sit through a class and concentrate, listen to the teacher and answer questions and not really get any reward for it per se.

Now let’s think about this realistically. Tell someone who can sit calmly and concentrate when they are under 10? When older than 10 years old’s have issues too. And WHY would we even make students study like this? I mean again studies prove that the brain goes into a standby mode when we are sitting for a long time and that is when the mind starts to wander or daydream. I am not saying that students shouldn’t learn how to concentrate for more than 5 minutes at a time. But the kid’s age should be considered and making studying active rather than passive, would probably help students learn more anyway.

So, not only do we take away the excitement from learning by making too many rules, but we also make those students learn less because physical movement literally helps walk the information into the brain.

Making us compete for a grade, instead of making us learn information. An A* or 5/5 if you study where I do, doesn’t mean anything, if after the exam you remember nothing. What if that same test would be held a couple of weeks later again, would we have anyone getting A’s then? Studying isn’t about the grade. It is about processing the information, making it part of us for the long-term and then, in a couple of weeks when we are taught something new, we get the moment of the light bulb going BLING – “This is relating to that thing A we learned 2 weeks ago.” This is what learning is about. Not if you know how to answer to A, B, C questions correctly after you learned your textbook by heart.

And one might argue that it is on the students to learn for themselves, and partly that is the case, but I would argue that the way we are taught, and the way society makes letters and numbers and GPA’s such a big deal, we are making studying off-putting. It makes students judge themselves by a number or a grade instead of how much they worked and how many BLING moments they had. And I can say that those BLING moments are satisfying af.

Look education is a right that every child is supposed to have, but not at the price of their identity. The right doesn’t include them feeling like shit because they aren’t as good as the math geek (total respect to that math geek) in their class and because the way they understand sciences isn’t the conventional way. All great breakthroughs in science, biology and even art were made by people who had the audacity to look outside the box. Einstein is told to have been quite bad at school, but he is one of the most known scientists in the world.

Changing the way schools are isn’t easy. But maybe we should start actually asking what do the students need. Even a simple question like, what did I miss when I was a student, is a great start. It would improve our student’s mental health a lot too. Making them see that their opinions matter.

In my humble opinion schools need to teach students to think for themselves. Not teach them to read everything by heart from the book. But make them analyze different information and come to a conclusion. Like playing Sherlock Holmes.  That is only the start though.

What do you guys think? What should we do to improve the schooling system, or do you think that I am totally wrong and schools are doing an amazing job with teaching today’s generation?

Thanks for reading,

-Alisa

Health, Lessons in life

Frustration

Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer

Personal development

Picking and Choosing?

I often get inspired by a lot of things. I mean I listen to music 99% of the time that I am awake ( sometimes when I sleep too) I watch YouTube videos and I absolutely love reading about different lifestyles people have.

But there are some things that bother me. That being, people who assume that their lifestyle is 100% the best. Or that there is only one way to apply the lifestyle they have.

A great example is minimalism. I mean you guys have no idea how many comments I have seen on someone’s blog post or video where people tell the person/ writer that they are doing the minimalism thing wrong because they own more than say 20 things. And I mean that is ridiculous. If you do some research online one of the first results is this:

Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

For some reason, a lot of people understand the word minimalism only within the context of how much and what you own, but really it goes so much deeper than that. Minimalism is to do with everything that brings you value in life, family, passions, work, home, friendships and spirituality as well. For everyone what you feel like is excess is different. I mean someone who’s passion is being a makeup artist can not get rid of their makeup collection, while I can have a minimal one. Someone who is a mother can’t get rid of all of the toys her kids have just because that makes her own more than 50 objects.

But both of those people can sever toxic relationships. Both can decide to concentrate on the important things in life like family, friends and their passions. Still, both of their minimalism is going to look different. Nothing is black and white, not even minimalism.

But this kind of a view is around us a lot, not just with minimalism, this is common with a healthy lifestyle where someone eats XX amount of some food and now everyone should do the same, or how some people have a certain sense of style and everyone should be the same. I mean I love neutral colors but I still have colorful clothes too. And I love mozzarella salad but I still eat a lot of other foods too.

My point is that you do not have to just choose this one way of thinking or being. It’s ok to eat junk food once in a while and still regard yourself as healthy. It is ok to own more than 50 things and consider yourself as a minimalist. You choose your own rule that you live by, and as long as you do not harm anyone else then that is perfectly fine.

In case you wanted to read the blog about minimalism I quoted earlier the link is: http://www.theminimalists.com/minimalism/

Hope you enjoyed the post, and please leave a comment. What do you think about this? Do you agree? Have you had the same experiences as me?

Xoxo, Alisa

Lessons in life

A rant: Which truth is more true?

I love watching youtube and I love social media. I love people and I love long talk with people. But some things bother me, but especially this one: Assuming that one person knows the whole truth about everything.

I notice this pattern online. Someone says something at it resonates with some people, and someone says something that contradicts it, and the first thing they do to the person who dared to have a different opinion? Attack! (This is SPARTA).

I mean yes, if someone is on purpose being mean and evil then, of course, you have to step in and say something, and maybe even if they aren’t mean, leaving a comment with your opinion isn’t bad. But when we go into personal things like ” You are just ugly and jealous and you don’t get this and the other person has more followers so they must be right” then that’s just plain stupid.

I notice that most often it is just best to not say anything if you aren’t 100% sure you don’t come off as rude. The thing is, no matter how much you tell your opinion online, there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees, and that is not always a bad thing.  Disagreeing is a gate for discussion, not always does it lead to anything good but sometimes it does. You have to be the judge of the situation, though, and think if it really is important to prove yourself to be right.

And sometimes even if you know you are right, then it’s smarter to just walk away. Some conversations are just never going to end and will suck the life from you, when someone “knows” something, no matter what you say will change their mind. So just save your breath and have a discussion with someone who can teach you something or who is open to being taught. In the end, you can not get through a wall if there is no weak spot in it.

Live and let live, not all arguments are to be won and you don’t always have to be right. Sometimes there can be multiple truths and sometimes it doesn’t matter what the truth is. As long as you are confident in what you believe in and that makes you happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone else) then just continue believing in what you believe.

For the love of what is holy, please get off your high horses people, really, chances are we are all wrong.

-The Writer

Lessons in life

A rant; Trash

I have a lot of stuff. I have so much stuff that I do not need that I don’t always remember what I even have. I have clothes I don’t wear and I have a lot of stuff I could give away or sell. I am not a hoarder but over time there are just things that accumulate and somehow they just stay around. And  I bet most of you can relate. But this isn’t really my issue right now, though its certainly an important thing to remember and I have it on my to do list to lessen the amount of crap I have.

My issue is the total disregard for anything we own. The disrespect we have for money and the amount of trash we produce every year. For example have some of you noticed the videos on Instagram that are “so satisfying” but then they are just about cutting a phone up, or dropping it from X high building or shooting 7 phones to see if the bullet goes through the 8th one. Yeah, there are those types of people. And I am not even talking about trashy phones, I am talking about really expensive I phone. Not that it’d matter in the end because my biggest concern is the amount of waste, problematic waste that produces. It isn’t like they are cutting up a flower that will later on turn to dirt. No it is metal and plastic, and if its properly broken or cut apart can those parts even be used again?

Even if those phones would be given to the video maker for free. Or they would be faulty ones that would go to the trash anyway, those videos teach people something very dangerous. We do not have to care or take care about what we own, because it is replaceable. And that thought that idea is dangerous, not because it wouldn’t be true to an extent but because we are already abusing our planet, we already have so much stuff we don’t need and so much we throw out every day, that the attitude that we can continue doing that with no consequences is dangerous. And very sad.

I feel sad that kids these days don’t even feel sorry for breaking their phones because they know they will get a new one. I feel sad that some people find it satisfying to just break and damage stuff that another person with less privileges can’t even imagine ever having. If you have so much money to just throw away, then throw it at someone who needs it. Invest in your education or business, do not trash our already dying planet.

I am not a hardcore activist. I have a phone and I have stuff I don’t really need, just like all of us do. But to on purpose, without any thought or regret trashing our planet, adding to the already drastic changes that our planet is having, is immature, sad and just plain neglectful of our future generation as well as the animals that live here. So please for the love of our future, this planet or what ever you actually find dear, think before you break something, think before you add salt to the wounds of this planet. Haven’t we done enough damage?

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