Health, Lessons in life

Frustration

Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer

Personal development

Picking and Choosing?

I often get inspired by a lot of things. I mean I listen to music 99% of the time that I am awake ( sometimes when I sleep too) I watch YouTube videos and I absolutely love reading about different lifestyles people have.

But there are some things that bother me. That being, people who assume that their lifestyle is 100% the best. Or that there is only one way to apply the lifestyle they have.

A great example is minimalism. I mean you guys have no idea how many comments I have seen on someone’s blog post or video where people tell the person/ writer that they are doing the minimalism thing wrong because they own more than say 20 things. And I mean that is ridiculous. If you do some research online one of the first results is this:

Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

For some reason, a lot of people understand the word minimalism only within the context of how much and what you own, but really it goes so much deeper than that. Minimalism is to do with everything that brings you value in life, family, passions, work, home, friendships and spirituality as well. For everyone what you feel like is excess is different. I mean someone who’s passion is being a makeup artist can not get rid of their makeup collection, while I can have a minimal one. Someone who is a mother can’t get rid of all of the toys her kids have just because that makes her own more than 50 objects.

But both of those people can sever toxic relationships. Both can decide to concentrate on the important things in life like family, friends and their passions. Still, both of their minimalism is going to look different. Nothing is black and white, not even minimalism.

But this kind of a view is around us a lot, not just with minimalism, this is common with a healthy lifestyle where someone eats XX amount of some food and now everyone should do the same, or how some people have a certain sense of style and everyone should be the same. I mean I love neutral colors but I still have colorful clothes too. And I love mozzarella salad but I still eat a lot of other foods too.

My point is that you do not have to just choose this one way of thinking or being. It’s ok to eat junk food once in a while and still regard yourself as healthy. It is ok to own more than 50 things and consider yourself as a minimalist. You choose your own rule that you live by, and as long as you do not harm anyone else then that is perfectly fine.

In case you wanted to read the blog about minimalism I quoted earlier the link is: http://www.theminimalists.com/minimalism/

Hope you enjoyed the post, and please leave a comment. What do you think about this? Do you agree? Have you had the same experiences as me?

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Lessons in life

There are no shortcuts

We are impatient beings. We want it all, fame, money, success, a sexy body, and happiness. The problem with that? Very small percentage of people are willing to work for those things. Over time as everything becomes easy and fast, people have started searching for shortcuts not only on computers (ctrl+alt+del) but also in real life. The problem is that life isn’t about a code 1011001101 like a computer is. Life is more complicated than that. And the sad and brutal truth is, that life has no short cuts.

I find it surprising that people do not know this. We as people have always had ways to improve and make our life easier. During the stone age, we would make weapons to make hunting easier and we also invented fire. But even then we couldn’t invent something to stop us from running after our pray. This is the case still today. We can have mechanical pens, computer, I Pad’s and phones, but we still have to put our brain on as well to actually be able to do things. Same goes to achieving fitness goals. We have weights and machines to help us exercise, but you still need to do it. You still need to eat healthy foods to get the body you want.

So, no matter what there are no short cuts. I just don’t see where the problem with this is. Why should there be an easy way out? I mean, we people are designed so that we need a certain level of challenge in order to feel satisfied when we achieve the goal. I mean no one who is 20+ is going to be all pumped up because they were able to draw a stick figure, that is because there was nothing to overcome, no reason to feel very proud.

What we consider a challenge is different for everyone and that should be something that puts you down. You cannot look at a YouTuber making six figures $$$ and expect to be in the same situation after only a week or two of making the videos. Or a blogger who just started and assume you will have a huge number of followers. It takes time, work, commitment, and patience. And even then, maybe you aren’t in your niche, maybe you won’t achieve what you assumed you would. That is fine too. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Changing goals doesn’t equal failure, it means growing and learning new things about yourself, but do not change your goals just because something is too hard. If you really want it, you will push through the hard stuff.

I have just a few tips for you that you may find helpful to stay on track with your goals. These aren’t shortcuts, so stop hoping. These are things that will help you stop feeling like you need shortcuts. So, let’s see what I’ve got for you.

  1. Figure out where you are right now and where you want to be in the future. Are you in the very beginning of achieving your goal or are you half way? Why this is important? This will give you a chance to look at your goal within a period. If you are just starting out you can bet your bottom dollar that you will have to work hard and for longer. If you are about half way through you can assume that it might take 3 months instead of the six months. Do not ever punish yourself for taking time. No proper life goal was EVER achieved within minutes. It takes time, and there is no shame in that.

 

  1. Figure out a realistic time frame for your goal. This goes with the first tip. If you want to lose a huge amount of weight it will take more time than if you want to lose only about a couple of pounds. If you have never gone to the gym you will have to put more effort, or different kind of effort into achieving your fitness goals that someone who has been going for a year or more. Do not give yourself too much time, though. There is this thing called Parkinson’s law, that essentially means that the task you have to do will take exactly the time you give it. If you give yourself 3 months to write an essay, that is how long it will take, but if you give three days, it will work out that way too. (To read about it more check out Parkinson’s law on Wikipedia for example, I will leave a link down below). This is not to say that you can force yourself to get a six pack within 3 days, you still have to be realistic with every task.

 

 

  1. Have role models, not people you compare yourself to. You cannot look at a Victoria Secret model and assume you should look like them automatically. Even with hard work, you might NEVER look like them, mostly because most of them do not eat properly and are photoshopped but also because you aren’t them. You have a different body and you have different genes and that is ok. That’s not to say you can’t look up to them or whoever you look up to. Usually, I suggest looking up to people’s habits, not their looks because habits are actually something you can copy. But do please remember that sometimes things that work for someone don’t for you and you need to put your health and comfort before any blind hero worship. Keep that brain turned on.

 

  1. Track you progress. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, but each week look back and see what you have done to achieve or help achieve your goal (remember baby steps, don’t put yourself down.) Write down the things that you did good, and maybe the things you could have done better. Not for beating yourself over them, but to work on those things later on. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, your tracking could look something like, ate 3 healthy meals per day, slipped up on Sunday. Then think why you slipped up? Did you feel a certain way, or was there peer pressure? Whatever it is written the reason down too, and how you are going to work on that later. For example, telling your friends that you need their support with this because it is close to your heart. Or if it was your own fault write that you won’t go to the store when you are hungry because then you buy everything.

 

  1. Slipping from your goal doesn’t mean you failed it. I know there will be a lot of people saying that it takes 21 or 60 days to achieve a goal, or whatever. But that doesn’t mean that if you slipped up on day 19 that you can’t continue working. It doesn’t mean that whole process was pointless. It just means that you learned what not to do. I think personally that achieving goals isn’t so much about the days that it takes but the mindset you have. It isn’t like if you want to become fit that after the 21st day it no longer takes effort? You still have to work hard. What matters is your mind. It takes some time to teach your mind to forget a certain pattern and learn a new one, and it doesn’t matter how many days it takes because I believe all of us are different. With big goals like success, fitness, learning and health there isn’t really an end line. Of course, you can make a timeline how long you assume you will achieve a mini goal within the big goal, but after you have to continue pushing. So if you one day actually did something that you weren’t supposed to, don’t give up, just continue where you left off.

Parkinson’s Law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson’s_law

That is all I have for now. There are a lot of other tips and most of what I have said has been said before, but I added my own little twist. If you have comments or questions please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you very much and see you in my next post.

-The Writer

 

%d bloggers like this: