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Tag: personaldevelopment

How not to let regrets take charge of your life?

I asked you guys on Twitter what you guys wanted to read and my General Regrets suggestion won. I am not big on writing posts that just state things and don’t teach anything. So on top of talking about some of my regrets I will talk about how to not let them over power your life. Sounds good? Yeah, I thought so too. Let’s go!

Regrets are an interesting thing. Because quite often we are the ones to blow them out of proportion. We just ruminate on the same fucking topic without realizing that, no matter what the choice we made was. We can get past it an move on. ( I mean unless you killed someone… then I have some questions, but… yeah.) We all make mistakes and have regrets (yes, even those people who say they regret nothing and show crude signs to hide their pain)

My regret number 1:

I didn’t study as well as I should have/ could have. I have always been an average student. I didn’t bother to study because why put in the effort if I get OK grades anyway? But now I see how learning to learn before, learning subjects in more detail, would have given me more leverage now. I would be able to write better now, I would be able to connect dots better now and so on.

How to deal with this regret? Accept that you could have been more mature and less lazy. It is a fact and no matter how much you blame the teacher, school etc. Doesn’t take away the power that you could have put in more effort. Instead of whining and going out with friends to whine, you could have studied. Just 15 minutes or 30 minutes more. Now that you take responsibility for your actions. Make sure you make different choices now. Read the book because the topic is UNKNOWN to you. Not because it is your preference. Make notes on podcasts and seminars, don’t assume you will remember things. With the magic of internet you can learn everything you skipped before. It is just harder now. It take time from other things. But if you think it will add your life value… why the heck wouldn’t you do it? Right?

My regret number 2:

I trusted people blindly. I am not saying you shouldn’t trust people. You 100% should trust those who are close to you. And it is their shame if they betray it. If you never trust anyone you will live a very fearfull, lonely life. However, always telling everything about you to people and letting them in without having any idea who they are as people… don’t do that. A lot of people were able to hurt me this way.

How to deal with it? Accept that you put your trust in the wrong place. Accept that you were hurt. And forgive those people. Because we all end up hurting someone at some point in our lives. And while you don’t owe anyone to forgive them. You will feel way way more light about yourself if you let the hate and anger go. So forgive them for their mistakes and forgive yourself for not seeing the signs.

My regret number 3

Being too sensitive and wanting a lot of attention. When I was younger I would get hurt easily. Not really because people saying things would necessarily actually hurt me. But if I cried I’d get attention. This lasted a long long time. I am not sure when I stopped caring about attention. And honestly it probably doesn’t go 100% of the time ever. But when I was younger it was way worse than now. This affected my friendships and relationships a lot. Mostly this harmed me. But it ended up hurting others as well. I was an easy pray for bullying because I would cry so easily and the worst, most idiotic thing was I wasn’t even hurt at first. It only later on became an issue when I adopted the pain that the bullies were trying to inflict on me.

How to deal with this? I just accept I was childish and dumb. I tried to get attention in the wrong way and now I know better. I am way more confident and I live my life on my own terms. I feel embarrassed about that time of my life but I can’t change it now, so I make sure to live my life to the fullest now, concentrating on making myself proud, not making others see me.

Getting stuck in your regret is like going the wrong way, and instead of making a course correction, just stopping moving all together.

Me

My regret number 4:

Not traveling on my free time as much as I would have wanted. Fear is a interesting thing. I loved traveling with my parents but planning a trip on my own or with friends I always met myself with a block. Instead of using my money on candy and soda, I could have seen the world… How dumb.

How to deal with this? Well, we can’t always do best of choices. I have improved with this as I have been in exchange twice and I have planned more trips. I will save more money for more trips and will make sure to appreciate each trip I get to make, even more since it is my dream to travel as much as possible.

My regret number 5

We have come a full circle. I mentioned not studying that well and regreting that. But there is especially one part of studies that I regret more than most things and it sucks. And it is languages. Now I am actually decent in languages. I know , English, Finnish, Russian and French. I am pretty much fluent in all of these to varying degrees. Best in English and Finnish. But I could have worked a bit harder and maybe now I would be able to speak more languages.

How to deal with this? I can’t do more than to just work on languages more now. It isn’t the end of the world. I still have time to learn languages. It might now be as easy as before but I can do it. And so can you.

Conclution

We all have regrets in our lives. Some bigger some smaller and it is ok. We are able to live with our past choices, learn from them and move on. Instead of hitting your head against the wall because “Why bang was bang I bang so bang stupid bang” Doesn’t change the reality of those events. Nor does it improve your future. What will change your future and make sure you live a better and more fulfilling life is if you let go and move on. Not everyone will be able to let go your mistakes if they were involved but that isn’t any longer your concern. Living forward is the only possible way to go. So we get to grow and make and impact with our lives, and make it a positive one for ourselves and for others.

Thank you for reading. Hope this was interesting and helpful. Make sure to learn from your mistakes and move forward. Sometimes things seem worse than they actually are. So breath, move on. Grow. Leave comment to let me know your regrests or if you share some of mine 🙂

Xoxo, Alisa

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5 simple habits for guaranteed success

Let’s get some things very clear. You have to work your ass off for success. It is NOT an easy journey, so if you are searching for hacks to make you successful right now… you are in the wrong place my friend. However if you want to improve you journey and you want to start hustling, let’s get to the juicy part!

Number 1:

Sleep. Doctors, most of the high performing and successful people talk about the importance of sleep. About 7-8 hours is what I usually hear that is recommended. At some point during a holiday for example, you could try and test what this time is for you. Say you always go to sleep at 22. What time do you wake up naturally, without an alarm. At first you will probably sleep in quite late ( depends on how much you have to catch up on) But at some point you will notice a pattern in when you wake up. That way you know about how many hours you sleep. ( It isn’t plausible for everyone to wake up without an alarm, especially if you work, that is why it is so important to do this experiment while you are on a vacation :D)

Number 2

Don’t let things slide man. I know how easy it is. I instead of saying this for 30 min like I said I would 25, is good enough. Instead of doing 3 sets like I said I would 2 is good enough. Sometimes you honestly do have to listen to your body. And do what it tells you to. BUT not as a routine. You have to follow through your promises to yourself. First of all it will make you feel good about who you are. If you say you will do something you freaking do it! And then the second part is that the more you take short cuts the easier it is to always take short cuts. It will also should in your results. So quit failing yourself. Read the damn 30 minutes.

Number 3

Keep everything at the place that is made for it. If it doesn’t have a place and there is no space for it… why do you have it? Do you ACTUALLY need it? Look the more stuff you have the more organization you have to do. The more organization you have to do, the more chances there is that you won’t do it and your whole office (and life) is a huuuuge as mess… well that is the way of life. Own less, you lose less.

Number 4

Have a weekly check up with yo self. Look sister or mister, I know, you planned the week out REALLY well. It was like 10/10 on the organization- o -meter…. buuut how well did you actually execute on this list? Did you time table hold up? Did your mental health hold up? Did you have time to pet your dog? You didn’t?! How dare you be so cruel to your dog!?! In all seriousness thought. Making plans is just the 20% of the work. Doing them is about 20% and then 60% is figuring out if you actually did well with your plans, so you can make better plans in the future.

Number 5

Take care of your own damn self. I have said it before and I will say it again. You will never be useful if you are dead. I mean ofc you can haunt the bad guys, but lets first change the world for the better and then haunt the rest of the assholes OK? So make taking care of yourself a habit. Skin care, meal prep, fitness, reading spirituality (even if you don’t identify as religious/spiritual you can take care of yourself spiritually, it could be meditating, going out into the nature, what ever makes you feel at peace with yourself you can just call it mental health care, I don’t give a rats ass, just take care of your self OK?!)

SO here is today’s post. I am sure the tone of voice is a bit different. I let a bit more of Alisa out to play (aka my crazy ass personality) so hope you enjoyed. Once in a while she will come out and do her thing. I also love being more professional and more researched so don’t worry, this ain’t the only way I act!

Thank you all for reading and don’t forget to comment and leave a like! I appreciate you all and hope you have a great weekend!

Xoxo, Alisa

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THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD

Welcome back to all of you who have been following me for a while. I am quite excited for this post! I can’t quite believe that I have been nominated for this award. Thank you for the nomination (more about it bellow) But most importantly thank you for those who read, like and comment on my posts! It makes me happy and shows me that what I am doing has an impact. Here is a link to my past post if you missed it: Latest post!

And let’s get cracking!

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The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Hilary Tan, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This means a lot for me! And it makes me happy that I bring joy and sunshine to my readers!

Hilary has the most amazing blog, that mixes art, real life and a rawness that seriously touches the reader: Sereluna-Finding my Inner Goddess. I honestly must say that you are well on your way to finding your inner Goddess and it is great to see you helping others do the same! I only found you recently but will 100% and avid reader from now on!

SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD RULES

Here are couple of simple rules to keep in mind when you are nominating and when you nominate:

RULES FOR AWARD:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Q’s and A’s:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?

I have enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember. I haven’t always been good at it but a while back I decided that I might as well do it anyway, since it makes me happy. Plus I get to improve everyday. I have been writing about self-help and health most of my blogging time, but especially now I have concentrated on the personal development aspect.


2. What year did you publish your first blog post?

I honestly don’t know. My current blog is not my first blog. But with the one I own now, I started it at the end of 2016.


3. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written and why?

My favorite post is “Stars Sentenced to Death“. This is a harsher, more negative post of mine and I wrote it right after Avicii died. I read about his death and about the comments on how it was to be expected because of the “music scene” and how it is so often that these people feel the need to turn to drugs/alcohol/self-harm. I found this very frustrating and point the finger to us, the people who love and hate these stars blindly leading to their lives derailing. Not saying we are the only ones at fault. But honestly we don’t let them have a normal life due to all of the fan giriling or hating on them for every move they make..


4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?

I have a dog, a middle sized Schnauzer! His name is Patu and he is 100% the boss of our household. Good lord who new these creatures to be so pigheaded?!


5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?

It honestly depends. Sometimes I will meditate and brainstorm ideas that come to me during the mediation. But quite often an event, an Instagram post or a book/podcast, will spark inspiration in me. I kind of would love to have a routine/ ritual for posting blogs to make it more organized. But then again sometimes it is great to just get inspired and let it flow 😀


6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?

I love love love helping people. There is nothing better for me than to help people get their AHA moments in life. Like the “Fucking hell I actually am the one in charge of my life” moment is just like a drug. Honestly it hasn’t been a 100% easy road for me to get here so getting to that mindset isn’t easy, however helping others get there, I get shivers just talking about it!

The world is such a messed up and confused place right now. There is so much more hate than love and I honestly want to be a part of changing that. I believe that currently too many hurt people are in charge of the world. We can’t change the world if we don’t heal ourselves first (in what ever capacity it is for you) and this is why I write my blog. So people will find the power in themselves to change and rebuild themselves and after that attacking the issues of our planet with new vigor and passion.


7. What is your favorite social media platform and why?

I honestly don’t know. I think Twitter is cool because you are forced to think of what you say and how you say it, because you only have so many letters that you can use. Instagram on the other hand is so pretty! And it gives me inspiration to work on my photography to make it more artistic and to unite it with the text I write there (To anyone visiting my Instagram after this post; not all of the pics are mine :D)


8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?

Coffee addict in the house! Can I get an AMEN from all of the sisters and brothers that are walking on the same journey of telling about the love of COFFEE to whom ever will listen?!

Honestly I love tea as well, but coffee makes me feel powerful and productive ( When honestly it doesn’t, it just makes my soul sing.)


9. What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?

That it isn’t easy. That it requires work and it requires more from you than you were ever prepared to give. It makes your raw, angry vulnerable and all of those “negative” things. BUT once you get into it. Once you decide that it means a lot to you… it is the most rewarding thing you could imagine. (Especially when a blog post does well and make you feel like you did something good in the world. Even if it was just a small thing)


10. Are you satisfied with your blog’s progress so far?

Especially as someone who writes about personal development I don’t really know if that is even possible. It feels like I should be better since I write about being better. You just have to take as step back and realize you are just as much on the journey of growth as anyone else. Just a different path. So if I think realistically. Yes.


11. What do you fear the most?

Living a life that is unfulfilling and insignificant.


SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD NOMINEES

QUESTIONS FOR THE NOMINEES:

1. What is your favorite word? (Any language, if foreign please translate xD)
2. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
3. What is your favorite blog post you have read?
4. Are you a dog or a cat person (or perhaps a reptile person)?
5. What is the best advice you have ever gotten?
6. If your excuses wouldn’t hold you back, what would you do?
7. What is your favorite color?
8. What kind of a nature scene makes you the most at peace? (E.g. forest, ocean, mountains etc.) 9. What is your superpower (nothing isn’t an acceptable answer, nor I don’t know) ?
10. Where do you desperately want to travel and why?
11. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Well there was my blabbering, now it is your turn. If you visit the blog post mentioned (or another of them please leave a comment and tell me you visited from this post. Now feel free to write your own thank you, Q and A + nomination post. Hope you have fun searching your depths!

My nominees:

https://joypassiondesire.com/

https://mywellbeingandlearningjourney.wordpress.com/

https://simpleula.com/

https://humanityliveson.home.blog/

https://coffeennotes.wordpress.com/

https://dailygrindofastayathomemom.wordpress.com/

https://motivationvi.wordpress.com/

https://auroralibrialis.wordpress.com/

https://ptsdawayout.com/

https://barryjoyful.wordpress.com/

https://mademoiselleolantern.com

I would love for people to answer these questions in my comments (or the ones I answered to) even if they haven’t been nominated. Let’s keep the conversations open!

P.S If have done any mistakes in the formatting/with pictures etc. let me know and I shall correct it!

Xoxo, Alisa

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Clearing up personal development

What is personal development? Get rich fast scheme. Work non stop till you drop so you can die becoming a millionaire. Well, I am sure someone could think of it that way… but no.

I am very fascinated with personal development. But I think there is a misconception that there is one way of doing personal development. And that just isn’t accurate. It is call personal for a reason. It is the development you instill in yourself. And it can look different for different people.

If someone would ask what I think personal development is, I would say it is someone working on their weaknesses and getting out of the comfort zone. There must be a part which is not comfortable to you. Because those things that are easy and nice to do, don’t make you grow. They are still important to have in your life, but they don’t make you grow (sorry)

How ever what you do in order to grow is up to you. It could be traveling; there is so much to learn about yourself and the world with traveling. It forces you to think about your finances and it makes you be more organized, since ofc. you don’t want to miss your train/bus/plane etc.

It can just as well be reading books on the topics that you don’t know. It can be fitness, it can be going to courses. Anything. But you have to do it well.

I started personal development about 5 ish years ago. And I can’t say I have come far. Not because I have some extremely hard story to tell. Simply because I haven’t before given my all to working on myself. You can always find something to work on. But it is very easy to come up with excuses. Just like with anything. And I sure did.

Personal development is very important. It requires self discipline and awareness. You must realize what you must change or work on in yourself and stick to it. That isn’t easy. But if you want to go from where you are to somewhere better. Something that you have dreamed about, you must work on yourself.

Why do I think it is extremely important? We as a society constantly look at everyone else. Judging and saying how everyone else is so dumb and “I would have done it better”…would you have? I mean maybe. If so then just go and do those things differently. Work hard to make sure you can make a change. If we work on ourselves to be the best us we can be. Then things we achieve when we come all together are magnificent.

Many broken people aren’t going to make a full society. So working on ourselves is way more important than pointing fingers at others.

What should you work on? Leave in the comments! 🙂

Xoxo, Alisa

To follow me on my socials click here. FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

As always my communities are to be found here: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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Think less, achieve more!

Contradicting queen in da house! How could this be accurate? Well, in multiple ways actually. You know feeling you have of wanting to plan things to the t, make everything perfect. But you actually never start executing?

If you want to get a six-pack, think less of the how. Let’s be honest here; you have already read all the info on how to do it. And you know there is no shortcut sooo; Now you just go and fucking do it. Will you fail? Yes. Depending on who you are maybe a couple of times or maybe even more times. Then you learn what food amount and exercise amount works for you. And I know this might come as a shock to you (not really) but you can’t know if a routine/food etc. works for you before giving it a try. Just by thinking about getting abs, isn’t going to cut it (Sorry to break it to you)

How else are we more likely to achieve more if we think less? Well, let’s stick with the six-pack example. If we are obsessively checking ourselves in the mirror and on the scale, going to the gym 5 times a day and eating 12 eggs breakfast, lunch and dinner… Our results will be; early grave. (Was I exaggerating a little or what…?!)

Instead of just thinking of why things aren’t changing and what to do to make it happen faster, we just concentrate on working out routinely, fueling our body to the best of our abilities and having fun on the daily, our months go by so much faster, and then seeing the results come to us way faster (well it feels that way, because if you wait for something it usually feels like an eternity)

Why not thinking about it makes it feel like comes faster: Well, if you everyday look at your body and expect a change, you just won’t see it (even if it had changed) and this will make you feel disappointed and make you more likely to quit. Now there are ways of making you see change better, by taking before and after pictures etc. I will write about that another time. But if you concentrate on how things aren’t changing and think of they ways to make it happen fast, you can actually make things worse for yourself. For example like starting a fad diet that messes up your metabolism, or just getting very depressed because nothing changes.

Now, this is all is not to say you can’t be working hard towards you goals. Absolutely work hard af. BUT, don’t get stuck on it. You have a goal, you know you work hard for it. And you make good, healthy and realistic steps to achieve it? Great that is all you can do right now. Now just relax and enjoy the process. It will all come to you, whether its a six-pack, a great job or anything else you are working towards.

Xoxo

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Gamify your success

When you play Super Mario, despite sometimes killing him of, you usually try again, and again…. and again. Sometimes this lasts for so long, you end up losing track of time, causing you to fail at doing something actually productive. But you can actually learn a lot from your games. There are numerous studies done, showing how gaming (a reasonable amount) is actually healthy and good for development. It helps with problem solving, motor skills and improves creativity. But today I am not talking about those benefits. I am however very open to write about that, if you are interested.

My topic today is about turning your actual life into a game. This is not originally my idea, a lot of people on YouTube and on their blogs, do challenges and use apps to make their life into a game. Some examples are Thomas Frank, The Goal Guys and Max Hertan.

What does it mean in practice? It means first of all that you have a goal. It could be writing a 10 page essay, or learning to do a split in 30 days. What ever your goal is, it can be gamefied. How to do it? I will break it down bellow, just like a real life video game, everyone will have their own approach, so feel free to tweak anything that you feel necessary.

  1. Have a goal. In a video game like Super Mario, it could be getting through a level or defeating Bowser. If it is defeating Bowser, you use the levels as your steps, until you are at the final showdown. If it is getting through a level your steps will be on a shorter scale, like jumping in the right place and killing the right enemy at the write time. So just like in a game, with a goal you have to come up with steps to win.
  2. Track your progress in a visible way. It wouldn’t be fun to play Mario or any other game, if you could never see how many enemies you have killed, or if you would never level up. That is the same in a real life goal. If you want to learn splits, make sure you document your progress. Even if you aren’t as close as you want to be to a split, at least you can see how far you have come, if you for example take pictures. Or you could mark in your calendar daily how many minutes you have stretched etc.
  3. Reward yourself. This is slightly controversial. There are a lot of people who are super successful, that think this is not helpful. And if you only do things because of a treat, instead of feeling the pride for getting healthier or for getting the project done. I can understand the concern. However I assume, that people don’t want to do things that seem big and daunting without some kind of small wins in between. So stretch while you watch a series you love. It’s two birds with one stone and it is more fun that way as well. Or after each page you have written of the essay you can go scratch your puppy. Make sure it is something that you don’t over do the rewarding tho. You don’t deserve to binge watch youtube for stretching your hamstrings for 2 seconds.
  4. Keep it real. if you start too many goals, too many projects and you try to make everything into a game, you might lose. You can’t play Mario, Call of Duty and solve the Rubik’s Cube all at the same time. The same thing with goals. Don’t beat yourself up for falling down or not getting through a level. Only beat yourself up, if you didn’t get back up to try again.

Here are some apps to helps you gamify your goals/tasks:

  • Habitica: Gamify Your tasks
  • Forest: Stay Focused
  • Fitness RPG- Gamify your Pedometer
  • Do it Now- RPG To Do List/ Task List

These are some of the apps you will get on an android device. I am sure there are many for the Apple phones as well.

Thanks for reading! This post was really fun to write, as this is something I want to incorporate more into my life, to get more exciting and interesting things done (as well as the mandatory ones). What are some of your goals you would like to turn into a game?

Thanks for reading 😉 Untill next time

Xoxo

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The perfect little lie

Tomorrow, I will start my new life. I will get 25 things done (half of which take 5h each) I will learn 20 languages and I will never, ever put things off ever again. And what happens the next morning at 5 am? Snooooooooooze.

So what what is the act of putting things of called? Procrasitnation.

Why do we procrastinate? If we are talking from a human experience point of view I would say we procrastinate for couple of reasons. Some more acceptable than others.

  1. Fear of Failure We as humans need to succeed. Failing has often this humiliating affect on us. Instead of accepting that we learned how not to do something, we think we just failed for the rest of our lives. So the next time we don’t even try (and lets be honest. That is the real failure)
  2. Bad health habits. Now there is a lot of research done on how to optimize your brain and one of those ways is to be healthy. So eating a healthy balanced diet, exercising and sleeping enough. It is quite simple … how ever sometimes we seem to procrastinate on becoming healthy… what a vicious cycle it is.
  3. Being addicted to something; in today’s age it is increasingly easy to boast about how you don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. BUT do you perhaps touch your phone every 6 minutes? Because that is an addiction. If someone would alcohol every 6 minutes or smoke a cigarette that often, you wouldn’t question that they have an addiction but somehow with phones it isn’t the same?

If we discuss why we procrastinate from a biological/ physical point of view its due to our brains being structured to not want to do things that are difficult or that we are afraid of. So if our brain senses a danger (aka we dread a project) it automatically puts us into a mode of resistance to the hard thing, and we reach for the phone or what ever it is that we rather do. (Even though we are more adapted to resist difficult things do not make this your excuse, you’ll just live a miserable life.) Read more here: Science Behind Procrastination

How do we make sure that we leave procrastination to the minimal? (sometimes we are allowed to stumble)

  1. Place in routines that help you. Start your morning smartly. Instead of procrastinating getting up, make your alarm ring across your room (and don’t let it be your phone) Do maybe a couple of jumping jacks so you don’t feel like going back into bed. Wash your face with cold water …or take a cold shower. (it suck to take it btw.) But when you do difficult things right in the morning, when you are somehow still able to resist temptation it makes your rest of the day less resistance based.
  2. Figure out the issues you have: Is the project too large to conceptualize right away? Well make it into small sections, e.g. research, take notes, write paragraph 1-3 and 4-6 and lastly 6-10, proof read, come up with a good title, write down the resources you used and send it. Often times people get into this head space of the end goal. If you are obese and your eventual goal is to be a body builder, you will have to find small wins along the way. It can’t count as a failure if you don’t wake up next morning with six pack abs after eating healthy once or going to the gym once. With this logic it can’t be counted as a failure to take smaller steps in completing a project either.
  3. Figure out what motivates you. Not on a short term. But on a bigger scale. Is it being proud of doing the things you promised yourself you would do. Maybe you want to feel beautiful and healthy. Maybe you don’t like being stressed all the time. What ever it is for you, link your goals to feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and joy. Things won’t bring joy on a longer time line. So don’t count yourself to deserve a coffee if you get done with a project. It is very easy to talk yourself into having a coffee because your need a pick me up. Trying to believe that you will be proud of yourself even if you fail in an exam, isn’t that easy.

What do you guys struggle with the most when it comes to procrastination? Leave it down in the comments. Would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading and until next time.

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23 life lessons

Today is my birthday. I am 23 years old now and I feel like I know nothing and that I haven’t improved at all (even though I have been on a personal development journey for couple of years already, on and off) So I thought for today’s post I will give 23 of the lessons I have learned and I would be more than happy if you guys let me know about your top lessons in the comment section below ( it would be like a birthday gift for me 😉
🎂 )

  1. No one is going to save you; I know this sound very dark and harsh, but isn’t meant like that. I just mean that you have to take responsibility for your life, because everyone will eventually get tired of holding you on and themselves up. Friends and family can help you if you stumble and they should be there for you when times get tough, but eventually you have to be able to hold yourself up.
  2. The most precious things in life are experiences. Things fade away and get lost in the box of “to go through later” but your memories and lessons stay with you (unless you get amnesia or you get so old you start forgetting experiences but then you will forget where you put all the stuff you have so it still doesn’t matter)
  3. Planning only takes your so far. I know everyone of us would want to do a great plan with beautiful handwriting and execute it just like that. But most of the time we make a plan and don’t execute it at all. Or something goes wrong and we start blaming ourselves for not seeing all of the variables. Instead of being happy that we had a good base from where to start.
  4. Music makes life worth living.
  5. Good books and stories make live worth living.
  6. When everything is going to shit, it usually mean that something great is about to happen.
  7. I will never become beach ready, because in Finland its way more important to have a fat layer to live through the 8+ months of freezing weather. Instead of the 2 seconds that the beach weather lasts for. ( Please note that I am joking. I have just not worked hard enough, still a part of my goals)
  8. Life isn’t fair, but you can be.
  9. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t the primadonna of your class as long as you have the bestest people supporting you. And I 100% have the closest most amazing friends.
  10. About 80% of the times when you want to cry, you can laugh. This is not in anyway to tell anyone that they shouldn’t cry. It is just that quite often when something happens we will see it as bad but it isn’t actually that bad. And instead of shaking it off, you can laugh it off.
  11. The best thing about coming home is taking your bra off.
  12. A dog will make your life extremely messy and fucked up, and I would never change that.
  13. Parents are 99% of the time right. And when they aren’t they will still not listen to you, so don’t bother. (With all love <3)
  14. You learn more from the school of life than from a lifetime of school.
  15. People change and you will as well, don’t hold it against them. Just hope they change for the better.
  16. You can choose to see the world as a bad place or a good place that can be even better.
  17. If you have a message or opinion, share it with people who agree or are willing to listen. A brick wall won’t budge no matter how hard you bang your head against it.
  18. Exercise feels amazing, especially after it is done.
  19. Reading makes a lot of a difference. If you can’t handle paper books, at least listen to audio books.
  20. Life never goes the way you thought it would. When I was like 5 I thought I would be a stewardess who dances ballet in the airplane… not quite what I am doing now.
  21. Laughing at yourself and your mistakes makes your life way easier. It will make people more open to you and you will be more open to change.
  22. Phones are not the most important thing in the world
  23. My last and most important lesson is that I know nothing and I am willing to learn as much as possible

What are your lessons in life? What is something you want to still learn?

Thanks for reading, until next time 😉

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Boredom leads to death

Paint this picture in your mind. You are just sitting around a campfire and you are listening to the chirping of the evening birds, you hear the crickets singing and the fire crackling? Now, most of you will be like that sounds like a calm, romantic and nice environment to be in. And I agree with it 100%. However, if you would be there with your phone, a possibility to watch a film even read a book, would you despite all those distractions concentrate on nature and the moment? I would bet on no. And calm your horses, I know you would want to say that you would enjoy the moment. I know you would want to say you are strong enough to ignore the automatic curiosity your brain has to check that bling on your phone. But you (probably)wouldn’t and nor would I (unless I really put my mind to it)

Would you just sit and listen to a fire crackling and birds chirping?

The reason I am talking about this is that in society today it is more appreciated that you react to that bing and answer the email right away. It is cool to have an Instagram account and post every 5 minutes. And since this is the norm, our brain, that is formed so that we are easily bored, to adapt the fastest, now is bored with those things that make us healthier.

It has been proven by various studies that even just a little walk in nature will lower your stress. For one of the most recent examples science daily has posted a report 6th of July 2018. The report is based on gathered evidence from over 140 studies with more 290 million people included.  “The report reveals that expose to greenspace, reduces the risk of type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, premature death, preterm birth, stress, and high blood pressure” To read in more, visit here: ScienceDaily. So, what happens when we are bored with the most natural aspects of life?  When we must have some kind of noise on the daily? To have music on when you get dressed, take your phone with you to the bathroom, because you are too bored to take a fucking shit without having something to check all the time. What does this lead to?

Death.

I don’t mean the literal kind where you raise the stairs to say good day to St. Peter or where the lights are turned off or whatever you believe is death. Though it leads to it indirectly. But what I mean is the death where you don’t enjoy life, being depressed or just existing without purpose. Isn’t it disturbing that we see breathing unimportant? Sure, we will think about it if we can’t take a breath. But what about enjoying breathing during a crisp winter morning or the smell of petrichor; the sent right after the rain.  Instead of going through the emotions about your family member passing away you feel you owe to tell it to your followers. And instead of those followers living and feeling their own lives they feel they have the right to demand of you to tell your private lives for thousands of people just because they are bored with their own lives. Bored with the silence. Bored of not having attention from others.


Boredom is simply the absence of an interesting perspective. 

Brandon A. Trean

If day in and day out your brain is used to watching constantly new videos, pictures, and memes or whatever else you come up with. It gets used to it. The brain becomes bored with the constant similarity of listening to birds or the wind in the trees or whatever else because it becomes too “boring”. The thing is that in the past having a concentration that is broken fast by a twig breaking under an animal’s foot etc. But even then, people were able to stay focused and do “boring” things all the time. Have you ever gone berry gathering? That is boring and hard, but you had to do it to have food. So how was it that people then were able to do it but now it is way too difficult to even have silence in the room for 5 minutes? Or not have content to feed on?

As I am not a health professional I would suggest you do an honest check with yourself and see a doctor if you feel like you are addicted to your phone/Internet. There are a lot of health issues linked to internet addiction, like being more depressed, more anxious and even aggressive. And on top of this there are many ways of being addicted online, being a shopaholic, feeling the constant need to be social; with the fear, of missing out if you don’t check Facebook.

If you were already calming yourself up thinking that you aren’t addicted because you would never be interested in something as stupid as Facebook, wait up. I will disrupt your calm. If you are constantly researching things online, watching to educational videos that can be an addiction as well, and since it is technically productive it feels like it can’t be a bad thing. But just like you can be addicted to going to the gym in an unhealthy manner or feeling you must restrict eating even after you’ve lost weight already, you can be addicted to research. To read more about this addiction visit: Mentalhealthamerica


Photo by Daniel Korpai on Unsplash

You must retrain your brain to be ok with the silence. To concentrate on one thing for hours. The issue is that if you want to develop yourself you must become comfortable with what today we see as boring. You might need to learn a presentation so by heart that even if someone interrupts it you will be able to answer the question and continue. You might be a dancer and need to train for hours so you finally master something. Or you might have forgotten that those things you are bored with now, used to fill you with joy. The calm romantic evening around a campfire. The walking in the forest, without the phone or the camera without any company. Just you.

Even for the basic day to day life. You must learn to make sure your brain is ok with silence. If going to nature is so healthy for us, but we feel bored doing it, we won’t go. And that will cause huge risks for us. Not only with considering the stress factor but also fitness and getting cleaner air.

One of my biggest fears is to wake up one day and not want to do anything but lay in bed and scroll Instagram. To find it too difficult to get up to get out for a walk. To hate doing the basic things to such an extent I would rather be on the phone watching others live their lives while I waste away and die. Boredom, trying to get a quick fix of whatever instant gratification you have chosen can lead to actual premature death. Whether this is due to overeating and not moving or becoming depressed enough due to self-comparison you end up killing yourself. Or it can be less dramatic at this moment, it could just mean wasting your life away and regretting it on your death bed. And that freaks the crap out of me. Living 80+ years (if I get that far) and regretting my life.

What is your biggest fear? What is it that you spend the most time doing online? So much so that it ends up affecting how much actual work you get done in a day? If you feel like you need help please seek help. Sometimes, however, we can figure these things on our own, if we see the issues early enough. Then we must work hard on disrupting out patterns. So, I challenge all of you who spend way too much time online, to go and do 5 push ups every time you feel like reaching for your phone/computers or if you realize you are scrolling mindlessly already. Once 5 push-ups get too easy (or if it is easy already) push yourself further. We can change our lives and make it interesting putting some effort into things we do. And pushing ourselves to enjoy the silence and appreciate it as well will help enjoy our lives.

One of my biggest goals is to become proud of myself and of what I’ve been able to achieve by pushing myself. Therefore personal development and learning about successful people has become so addicting for me. I shouldn’t confuse inspiration for action. Therefore I write these posts, and this is why especially today’s topic was so important for me. What is your biggest current goal? And what is the one thing that is standing in your way, regarding your habits/addictions?

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to comment below, let’s have a conversation! 🙂

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