Personal development

There are no shortcuts

We are impatient beings. We want it all, fame, money, success, a sexy body, and happiness. The problem with that? Very small percentage of people are willing to work for those things. Over time as everything becomes easy and fast, people have started searching for shortcuts not only on computers (ctrl+alt+del) but also in real life. The problem is that life isn’t about a code 1011001101 like a computer is. Life is more complicated than that. And the sad and brutal truth is, that life has no short cuts.

I find it surprising that people do not know this. We as people have always had ways to improve and make our life easier. During the stone age, we would make weapons to make hunting easier and we also invented fire. But even then we couldn’t invent something to stop us from running after our pray. This is the case still today. We can have mechanical pens, computer, I Pad’s and phones, but we still have to put our brain on as well to actually be able to do things. Same goes to achieving fitness goals. We have weights and machines to help us exercise, but you still need to do it. You still need to eat healthy foods to get the body you want.

So, no matter what there are no short cuts. I just don’t see where the problem with this is. Why should there be an easy way out? I mean, we people are designed so that we need a certain level of challenge in order to feel satisfied when we achieve the goal. I mean no one who is 20+ is going to be all pumped up because they were able to draw a stick figure, that is because there was nothing to overcome, no reason to feel very proud.

What we consider a challenge is different for everyone and that should be something that puts you down. You cannot look at a YouTuber making six figures $$$ and expect to be in the same situation after only a week or two of making the videos. Or a blogger who just started and assume you will have a huge number of followers. It takes time, work, commitment, and patience. And even then, maybe you aren’t in your niche, maybe you won’t achieve what you assumed you would. That is fine too. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Changing goals doesn’t equal failure, it means growing and learning new things about yourself, but do not change your goals just because something is too hard. If you really want it, you will push through the hard stuff.

I have just a few tips for you that you may find helpful to stay on track with your goals. These aren’t shortcuts, so stop hoping. These are things that will help you stop feeling like you need shortcuts. So, let’s see what I’ve got for you.

  1. Figure out where you are right now and where you want to be in the future. Are you in the very beginning of achieving your goal or are you half way? Why this is important? This will give you a chance to look at your goal within a period. If you are just starting out you can bet your bottom dollar that you will have to work hard and for longer. If you are about half way through you can assume that it might take 3 months instead of the six months. Do not ever punish yourself for taking time. No proper life goal was EVER achieved within minutes. It takes time, and there is no shame in that.

 

  1. Figure out a realistic time frame for your goal. This goes with the first tip. If you want to lose a huge amount of weight it will take more time than if you want to lose only about a couple of pounds. If you have never gone to the gym you will have to put more effort, or different kind of effort into achieving your fitness goals that someone who has been going for a year or more. Do not give yourself too much time, though. There is this thing called Parkinson’s law, that essentially means that the task you have to do will take exactly the time you give it. If you give yourself 3 months to write an essay, that is how long it will take, but if you give three days, it will work out that way too. (To read about it more check out Parkinson’s law on Wikipedia for example, I will leave a link down below). This is not to say that you can force yourself to get a six pack within 3 days, you still have to be realistic with every task.

 

 

  1. Have role models, not people you compare yourself to. You cannot look at a Victoria Secret model and assume you should look like them automatically. Even with hard work, you might NEVER look like them, mostly because most of them do not eat properly and are photoshopped but also because you aren’t them. You have a different body and you have different genes and that is ok. That’s not to say you can’t look up to them or whoever you look up to. Usually, I suggest looking up to people’s habits, not their looks because habits are actually something you can copy. But do please remember that sometimes things that work for someone don’t for you and you need to put your health and comfort before any blind hero worship. Keep that brain turned on.

 

  1. Track you progress. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, but each week look back and see what you have done to achieve or help achieve your goal (remember baby steps, don’t put yourself down.) Write down the things that you did good, and maybe the things you could have done better. Not for beating yourself over them, but to work on those things later on. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, your tracking could look something like, ate 3 healthy meals per day, slipped up on Sunday. Then think why you slipped up? Did you feel a certain way, or was there peer pressure? Whatever it is written the reason down too, and how you are going to work on that later. For example, telling your friends that you need their support with this because it is close to your heart. Or if it was your own fault write that you won’t go to the store when you are hungry because then you buy everything.

 

  1. Slipping from your goal doesn’t mean you failed it. I know there will be a lot of people saying that it takes 21 or 60 days to achieve a goal, or whatever. But that doesn’t mean that if you slipped up on day 19 that you can’t continue working. It doesn’t mean that whole process was pointless. It just means that you learned what not to do. I think personally that achieving goals isn’t so much about the days that it takes but the mindset you have. It isn’t like if you want to become fit that after the 21st day it no longer takes effort? You still have to work hard. What matters is your mind. It takes some time to teach your mind to forget a certain pattern and learn a new one, and it doesn’t matter how many days it takes because I believe all of us are different. With big goals like success, fitness, learning and health there isn’t really an end line. Of course, you can make a timeline how long you assume you will achieve a mini goal within the big goal, but after you have to continue pushing. So if you one day actually did something that you weren’t supposed to, don’t give up, just continue where you left off.

Parkinson’s Law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson’s_law

That is all I have for now. There are a lot of other tips and most of what I have said has been said before, but I added my own little twist. If you have comments or questions please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you very much and see you in my next post.

-The Writer

 

A rant: Which truth is more true?

I love watching youtube and I love social media. I love people and I love long talk with people. But some things bother me, but especially this one: Assuming that one person knows the whole truth about everything.

I notice this pattern online. Someone says something at it resonates with some people, and someone says something that contradicts it, and the first thing they do to the person who dared to have a different opinion? Attack! (This is SPARTA).

I mean yes, if someone is on purpose being mean and evil then, of course, you have to step in and say something, and maybe even if they aren’t mean, leaving a comment with your opinion isn’t bad. But when we go into personal things like ” You are just ugly and jealous and you don’t get this and the other person has more followers so they must be right” then that’s just plain stupid.

I notice that most often it is just best to not say anything if you aren’t 100% sure you don’t come off as rude. The thing is, no matter how much you tell your opinion online, there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees, and that is not always a bad thing.  Disagreeing is a gate for discussion, not always does it lead to anything good but sometimes it does. You have to be the judge of the situation, though, and think if it really is important to prove yourself to be right.

And sometimes even if you know you are right, then it’s smarter to just walk away. Some conversations are just never going to end and will suck the life from you, when someone “knows” something, no matter what you say will change their mind. So just save your breath and have a discussion with someone who can teach you something or who is open to being taught. In the end, you can not get through a wall if there is no weak spot in it.

Live and let live, not all arguments are to be won and you don’t always have to be right. Sometimes there can be multiple truths and sometimes it doesn’t matter what the truth is. As long as you are confident in what you believe in and that makes you happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone else) then just continue believing in what you believe.

For the love of what is holy, please get off your high horses people, really, chances are we are all wrong.

-The Writer

Who Am I?

We often find people online saying things like “I found out who I was this year” or “I have no clue who I am” and questions/ realizations like that. And I am one of those people who has been 100% sure I’ve figured out who I am at the age of 15, and I have questioned who I am for the whole year of 2016 (at the age of 20).

By the end of 2016, I realized we won’t really ever know who we are. After all, we always learn something new, until the day that we die.

Every day we are changed a bit. We read an article or book that moves us. We learn a new way to look at things, or we find out that our favorite color isn’t purple but turquoise, and in the end, those things are very small. But they change who we are.  And the best thing about this? It is totally ok. There is no shame in not knowing who you are.

Now, I realize a lot of people will misunderstand this. “If I don’t know who I am, how can I do anything in life?” And the answer is simple. You do what feels like the right thing to do, by the person you are today. Chances are it is the same thing as yesterday, and it will be the same thing tomorrow. But also not knowing what you want to do is ok. Then you just work hard at what life gives you right now.

For example, I study at a University of Applied sciences to become a management assistant. Do I want to do that for the rest of my life? Probably not, do I absolutely love studying it, nope, not really. But I got into the school, I love languages and I have an opportunity to study them there without becoming a teacher or a language researcher or something, so, I took the chance. Because I see that I am at least taking steps forward. I will try my best to learn everything the school offers me and enjoy the process of becoming smarter. I will have a chance to study for a semester abroad and I find that to be very exciting.

My point is you do not have to know who you are, to do something. I would describe myself as an artist, as I love writing, not just for my blog, but fantasy as well. But would I want to become a writer? I actually think I might. I don’t know what I want as my scale of success to be. Would I want fame out of it? I don’t know. But I write for myself and those who I can help, not to become famous. I love to think about life and the meaning of it and ponder how to make it better for myself. Am I a philosopher, not even close.

Who you were this morning is not set in stone. You do not have a contract signed with your blood. It is okay to not know who you are; if and only if, you work hard at making progress. When you make progress you gain more in life, you can do more in life, and even though you are always going to be a work in progress, at least you are moving on in your life. You aren’t stuck in your mind thinking “Who I am, What is my purpose.”  I can guarantee that you will never find the answer to that if you don’t do something and be happy about having the chance to figure out even more of what you do not know.

Thank you for reading! Be sure to leave me a comment of what you think? Does someone disagree? What is the hardest thing for you in not knowing who you are?

With love,

The Writer

Self love for 2017

Daily we hear of how we are supposed to look like. I mean we are trying to get into the “everyone is beautiful” mentality and I think it’s great BUT I don’t think it is enough for the media to be telling us these things. I quite frankly do not like that we are all the time told that it is media’s fault that we feel that we aren’t beautiful enough.  I don’t think we can blame someone else for how we feel inside. If we are sure of who we are and we love ourselves the way we are, no matter what someone says we won’t start changing for their “personal preference”.

And let’s be brutally honest here, who is actually buying the gossip about who got implants and where and who is the prettiest woman on the planet in 2016.

We are the ones who buy magazines or follow articles about the new celebrities and their butt implants or botox or something of the sort.

Today those models who still work for the mainstream model industry could just all say no to the way they are treated, told not to eat or photoshopped to look like alien gods and goddesses. We have a lot of power if we unite our forces, but it is scary and sometimes seems impossible, but I personally think we make it seem impossible because it is easier to pretend that we can’t affect things.

Now I am a young woman from Finland and I feel like the pressure here to look “perfect” isn’t as bad as in warmer countries. We kinda have to look like penguins with all of those layers of clothes we wear during the cold season. (About 9 months out of the year). But even I have had my issues with how I look. Comments of you look ugly, you are too thin etc. from people who you are close with isn’t always easy to hear. Especially when you logically know that there is really nothing wrong with you.

But what if we, me and you and everyone just say fuck you to media. I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge that someone looks pretty. What I am saying that we don’t let that standard of pretty define us. I will never look like some supermodel. Not only do I like pizza too much, I just don’t have the same proportions to become one. And that is fine. I will also never look like Kim Kardashian, mostly because I do not have such money, but also because we have different parents and genetically will never be able to look the same.

So what we really should be doing is just realizing that we are beautiful ourselves. I for example love the fact that I have green eyes. I have a nice lithe body. I am not in anyway fit, but I am working on it. For health reasons not to gain bikini body.

So let’s all make this year about loving ourselves the way we are. Fuck the media. Fuck how everyone one else looks ( not in a disrespectful way to all of the beautiful people in world). 2017- The year or self love.

Sincerely,

The Writer