Lessons in life, Personal development

Avoiding these 5 life traps will save you

Have you wondered if you are in a matrix and everything is just an illusion. That you never really even know your potential because you are trapped into a box and you don’t have a way out right now?

Well without all conspiracy theories I can honestly say you probably are in a trap. A trap you have made for yourself and I am just as much a victim of a self inflicted trap as you are. The best way to get out of these traps is to recognize them.

5 Traps to avoid

  1. Needing to be always right. I get it. It is so fun to be right and seem smart. I like that feeling too. However most of the time being right doesn’t really do anything. Being wrong and accepting that doesn’t make you weak. It makes your aware of things and forces you to learn new facts and skills. Saying that you were wrong is one of the hardest things in life. I know… but, the thing is that if you don’t claim to be right in the first place you don’t have to take it back…simple
  2. Cursing that life isn’t fair. It isn’t and that sometimes sucks BUT the thing is that talking about how life isn’t fair and all of the rich people have everything and blah blah blah, it doesn’t do anything. Won’t turn life fair all of a sudden. It’s not like life hears your whining and is like “Shit, I have been a right bitch, must change” Instead of using your time to talk about how like isn’t fair, work hard with the rules that life has. Life is a bitch? Be a bitch back. Work hard and make sure you get ahead. It will require effort, but so does bitching about things. You might as well choose the one that brings you more value.
  3. Living by other peoples rules. I am knee deep in this trap. Honestly it is one of the hardest things in life. Especially when it comes to friends and family. If someone in your family has a certain way of seeing things, then you all of a sudden feel like shit if you go against those “rules”. I have big goals. But I often feel the need to make them smaller because they scare other people. Not even myself, but others. It is so easy to start thinking the same way as others. “That is too risky/too hard/” and all of a sudden you start wondering… “well maybe it is too risky/too hard/” You have just as much of a chance to fail and the things that are “safe”. Being miserable and safe is still a failure. Above all you end up hurting yourself by listening to others too much.
  4. Wanting things to be easy. This is a trap like no other. It is what makes people want to play lotto, or “buy into make money easy and fast by just clicking thing thing and paying 0.99 cents”. Life isn’t supposed to be easy. People get into a flow state when something isn’t too easy, we need a bit or a challenge to motivate us. Of course this also means that we can’t do things that are way too hard, because we need at least small successes to keep us interested. However if life would be easy, people who for instance got rich fast and now “have everything”, would be the happiest. And they aren’t. Work hard, achieve your goals, be of service to others. Easy isn’t the answer.
  5. Having pity party all the damn time. We get it. Life sucks. Teachers suck. Politicians suck…Everything suckity sucks sucks sucks. The problem is that whining about it doesn’t do anything. Talking about how someone is an idiot won’t change them into a fantastic person. You have two choices. Talk to them and say what bothers you. You delete them out of your life. Doing things that aren’t fun will always be in our lives. Either its taxes, or you have to have a war with papers or something else. Talking about how much it sucks and poor you, won’t take the tasks away. It will however prolong your suffering. So cut the pity party and just do the shit and move on.

In conclusion

This post might sound to many that we shouldn’t ever allow negativity enter our lives. This isn’t my goal. Crying is healthy, talking through shit is great. What isn’t great, is getting stuck in that shit. As a result not getting forward in your life. Life isn’t fair and some days suck. You can make choices and act in a way that makes life less shitty. One way is by getting out of the traps listed above.

I am most trapped into traps 3 and 5. Which one is the most problematic for you?

Xoxo, Alisa

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Personal development

Negativity- how to quit it

Negativity has been hot wired into our brain. It is one of the secret powers with which we have survived this far. But we do not really need negativity as we used to. I mean we don’t have to assume we will be attacked or anything along the lines. So why do we still hold on to negativity. Well evolution does happen very slowly, and thus it is our job to rewire our brains.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t about turning you into this rainbow pooping unicorn with no worries in the world. This is to help you see more good than bad, beaucause there really is a lot of good in the world as well.

  1. Be grateful. I am sure you have been shoved this from every person who is even a bit into personal development.ย But it is true. It is so easy to get stuck on thinking about what you do not have. That you totally disregard what is already there. So remind yourself every couple of days, of the things that make you smile. Maybe its your parents, your dog, your significant other, maybe it was the fact you got to read a great book. Just keep those things in mind as well, especially when your mind starts to wonder to the negative side.
  2. Write what you feel. You can call this a diary, journal what ever. Maybe just bullet points of ย “Things that annoyed me today” and then write them out, and chances are that at least 3 things were just very silly. Someone walked onto your heel on a busy street. (and didn’t even ruin your shoes and apologized). One waited in the lights 3,5 seconds after the light turned green. And urg that cashier didn’t even say good day. After you have written those out, doesn’t it feel silly that the whole 16 hours that you are awake a day on average, you say has been shit for those reasons?
  3. Kind of a continuation from the last point. Don’t churn the negative things all the time. Let it goooo, let it gooo. Ok, I will stop singing now I swear. But really, a) no one needs to hear your whining ( unless its an actual legit reason why you need to open up to someone, never hesitate to talk or seek help). But talking for hours about how that driver was an asshole won’t do anything. It will just make you get into a negative cycle that will be very hard to exit. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.
  4. If the things that bother you are actual problem try to figure out if you can do something about. Had a fight with a friend. Could there be a way to have a discussion and sort it out? Yes there probably is, unless you murdered their dog or something. What about sh***** I JUST came up with a perfect come back to that thing that bully said to me over 10 years ago. Can you change that? Well not really without seeming very pathetic. (I mean can you imagine calling Billy at 2 am, 10 years later to tell him” hey, yo momma is so big…?)
  5. Do things you know will make you feel better. Read a book, go for a walk, buy a candle and burn it. What ever it is that you know that no matter what the day was like, you i will enjoy doing it. Watch a stupid comedy, what ever rocks your boat. I for one love to laugh after a shit day. I mean I am 21 but I still watch the pink panther cartoon once in while. I mean it is satisfying how the person who does everything wrong and is mean always gets a lesson at the end ( and Pink Panther gets away with everything ๐Ÿ˜€ )

I hope those tips help and I would love love love to hear what you do to be more positive if I didn’t mention it above. Or even if I did. ^^ Thanks for reading and as always comments are appreciated. (Also I have no idea why Billy is the bully’s name, nothing against Billy’s here ๐Ÿ˜€ )

-Alisa