Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books

What is the science of success?

Success seems to be this elusive, unidentified object that is always a little bit out of reach. You keep on running and all the time they change the place of the goal. Just when you think your are on the finish line some asshole just erases it and draws a new one.

New exam, new competition, new goal, new limit to what counts as financially successful! This is so frustrating, here you are ripping your hair out, because nothing you do seems to be enough. And the simple answer is…. it isn’t and it NEVER will be. Because, if you ask others what your success should be, they will always answer how they think their success should be, or what they have been told, their success should be. So number one goal, for YOUR success, is to figure out what it is for you.

Quote by Bo Bennett

Why I 100% believe that success is very subjective I do think there are certain things that all successful people, who also feel like they are successful, emulate.I have watched a lot of interviews of successful people and most of them have this recipe for success;

  1. Over come obstacles and push yourself to be better
  2. Be passionate about something to the point it is almost an obsession
  3. Help others
  4. Have fun with it
  5. Constantly grow and know thy self.

The Entrepreneur has a similar list to this. It goes like this:

  1. Create often
  2. Understand self
  3. Have fun
  4. Suspend judgments
  5. Seek challenges
  6. Pursue meaning
  7. Make change work for you
  8. Develop resilience
  9. Constantly improve

Why are these things that make people generally happy and successful? I would see this as the affects of the Hierarchy of Needs that Maslow has coined in a paper he wrote in 1943.

The hierarchy goes in a shape of a pyramid, having the most basic needs for survival on the bottom, as a foundation and getting more into the details of human fulfillment as we go up to the point of the pyramid.

The construction is as follows(from bottom to the top):

  1. Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest etc
  2. Safety needs: Security and safety
  3. Belonging and love: intimate relationships, friends
  4. Esteem needs: Prestige and feeling of accomplishment
  5. Self actualization: achieving ones’s full potential, including creative activities

What is my point with this? We often try to skip ahead on this pyramid. Obviously biologically we must take into account our need for food and safety, but what about love? Friends? Quite often when we speak of people who are monetarily successful, we hear of their break ups, hard marriages and so on. Often we are ready to compromise our relationships for money, and that in the end is what makes us ultimately fail. I also believe that we forget how much we love effort. Not too much effort. But just enough that we can feel proud in our achievements. This is why often someone who what the lottery and has nothing to do except burn money will find themselves depressed. They aren’t actualizing themselves.

Other peoples idea of success:

I asked on my LinkedIn couple of days ago, what is success to others. A lot of people said that helping others brings them the most joy. Of course doing things that are fun and well also having monetary success came through. This all in my opinion ties in quite nicely with this idea of hierarchy of needs. We want to help others, because it gives us the feeling of belonging and love, it helps give others security. We need the money in order to take care of Physiological needs, but it also often shows directly how much effort we have put into our work. A lot of answers to my positive surprise did realize that this money as a measure of success in the end isn’t that valuable.

My idea of success

I see success as over coming hardships and figuring things out. Living a life full of experiences and being surrounded by people that I love and care about. It is definitely full of laughter and sparks of inspiration. (This is why I write the blog) But there is still a lot of answers regarding success that I am missing. I am not quite sure yet what else I want to do apart writing my blog, if we think as a job. I mean blogging could be my job, I am not sure if that is all I want to do. I do want to help people and I want to have a job that no day is alike and that I keep growing and evolving. I know however that I get closer to fining out my version of success, and in the mean while I enjoy the ride. After all my success right now, isn’t the same as in 20 years. And that is OK to. Dreams, plans and you change with time, why wouldn’t your ideal version off success change too?

Want to read more posts relating to success? Read the post about #CHANGE, 5 Simple habits for guaranteed success , and this one on the mindset of success!

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Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

โ€œWe must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.โ€

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

Personal development

How to unfuck your life with 3 easy steps

How ironic that I am writing this one week late… But this is a great time for me to discuss this topic from a very personal point of view (with a concrete exmaple) so, let’s start

I have just started an internship, I have a thesis to write and I want to spend time with friends and family, I just spent a longer weekend with my bf in Sweden…. and I want to learn new things. So let’s put it simply I am fucking overwhelmed. And this is probably one of the most usual reason for our lives going totally of the rails.

When we hear that someone has a “fucked up” life, we assume that a lot had to have happened. It can however just be that you have more things to do and you have no idea what to start with. Or it could be something bigger, but either way you can figure it out. Here are my 3 biggest tips.

Number 1

You need to write a HUGE ass list of everything that is in your head. What to buy, due dates, birthdays, gift ideas, work things, blog post ideas and so on. Don’t worry about the neatness, it doesn’t matter. You can categorize everything after it is first on paper.

Number 2

Organize the list you just made into 2 (or more) lists;

  1. List of things that takes 10 minutes or less to do
  2. The rests in an order of priority (If you have many different categorizes, you can have a list per category, with the priority tasks first on the list)

Number 3

This is a very very very hard thing to do. In fact this is something that most people fail in. This can be what makes, your breaks your success. You have to actually do the things on the list. For me usually it is easiest to do some of the task on the first list (10 min or less) because they are so fast to do. These could be like; organize your desk, send email with the question x. Call x, add the following dates to the calendar, etc.

After this I check the list of things I have in order of priorities (or if my life is really fucked up, I check multiple of those lists). I start with the ones that have to be done today or have to be done asap.

Bonus

Sometimes, like for me today. I started writing this blog post way before I did that brain dump clean up thing. The reason being. I am working tomorrow, and this blog should be up by Thursday afternoon (Imma be busy most of that) so this is priority task I don’t even have to mark into the list. It is ok to just start with the task. It is sometimes even better than to write pretty lists of things you will never do. Just saying.

Thanks for reading. What are you ways of unfucking your life? Maybe leave in the comments, so others get inspiration too!

xoxo, Alisa

Personal development

Confidence โ‰  extrovert

I feel like there is a huge misunderstanding about who extroverted people are and who introverted people are and whether or not you can succeed if you are introverted. First of all, yes you definitely have to succeed. And you don’t have to change who you are in order to please others.

I am not going to deny that you need to be able to talk with people if you want success but sometimes being introverted actually helps with that. You are more likely to listen and wait for others to tell you about themselves and speak their mind. This gives you a chance to learn a huge amount of new things and on top of that it will make you very likable because you probably remember better what they said, since you aren’t just waiting to say something in return.

Being confident and being extremely outgoing isn’t a synonym to being confident. There are a lot of people who hide behind being a “clown” and making others just laugh all the time, so they don’t let people too close (This is me quite often, I’m better than I used to be but still). I honestly do think of myself as pretty confident but it is not an over all confidence. I have those areas about me that I know I am strong with and those that really really need help. A lot of it!

But this is to everyone not only to you who are shy and are afraid that you can’t be confident but also for you who are loud and think you have all going for you. Both have work to do. Both of you go and grab some paper and a pencil. And seriously take 30 minutes right now to write what is special and great about you , your skills, your ways of thinking, how you treat others and so on (the answer there is nothing good about me is not acceptable by the way). After you have written and thought about your strengths think of how you can use them to your advantage.

And your strong points don’t actually have to be your future job. Just because you are good in math, doesn’t mean you need to become a mathematician. Maybe you will start a business about something totally different, because you are curious about that other topic and want to learn more, but your math skills help you with the financial aspects. Maybe you are a great communicator but instead of becoming the communication expert at your company you actually start a blog business, etc etc.

Your skills aren’t set in stone, you can hone anything and make it better and stronger and more valuable to those who you want to serve. BUT remembering your unique skills, ways of thinking and so on, will help you build confidence that is a key for success, whether you are the person making everyone laugh, or you are the person asking if someone is OK because you remember them talking about a tough time from last week.

Neither option is a bad one, nor are they as clear cut as I made in this blog post. Anyone who meets me will tell you that I am an extrovert. And I absolutely need the contact with people and I love making others laugh and to talk with people for hours. But I hate parties that are extremely loud, and if I spend a long time with a lot of people I need a day or two to recharge.

As always thanks for reading! Can’t wait to hear from you! And I will leave all of my social media communities linked below!

If you haven’t yet, join the Changed Life Facebook community. The goal is to keep up a conversation and help one another! Link is here: FB ChangedLife
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Personal development

5 things that you hate about you?

We are told daily to work on ourselves and to improve and develop. And I agree 100% on that. Personal development, constructing a healthy amazing you with great goals is amazing. It is what will make the world a better place, because better people make better communities and nations. BUT, where do you start with this journey.

Saying that I want to be successful or I want to be healthy and all those things are extremely large as concepts. So what should we do? I am all for being positive and loving yourself, but sometimes loving yourself is being about being a realist. So let’s be realists shall we.

What are the 5 things you hate about yourself ? For me currently the list would look like this:

  1. I am lazy; I often fail to push myself that one inch more
  2. I love to plan, fail to execute
  3. I talk more than I listen
  4. I don’t take good care of myself
  5. I’m negative

Everyone has their moments of laziness and it isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes however it is the thing that makes you feel all icky and disappointing in yourself. Part of the laziness is that I get excited and I plan the shit out of everything and then I fail to act on those plans. I am sure many of you can see yourself in that.

I talk way more than I listen. And it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. But my goal in the future is to help people with their problems, whether it is in their personal life or work life. But in order to do that I must learn about them, their problems, as much as possible. The only way to do that is to listen.

I don’t take good care about myself. In order to be the most productive and healthy me I must eat healthy, exercise (I have been pretty good with exercise actually) and meditate etc. If I don’t do all of those things at least to a certain degree that helps me then I can’t reach my fullest potential. And this is hardly anything new. I know this very well I even have experiences of how I feel when I do “everything right” so why not do it?

I am negative. And I can hear you guys kinda laughing there and being like well we are reading your post/posts; we know you are negative, but bear with me. I don’t think that seeing your issues and working on them being negative. But I am quite often stuck in this idea of things not going my way and why is that person like that and why doesn’t our school make this work better. And that type of negativity isn’t really helpful because those are the things I currently can’t change. I can change myself and the way I react to things however.

Why should we think about these things? I personally thing it is way easier to start working on yourself if you know what is not working out for you currently. If I don’t like that I am negative, its way easier to figure out action steps to help with it (journaling,meditation etc) than just saying I want to be successful or I want to be a good person.

What are your 5 things currently, or even a couple. If you have something precise you want hints and help with, comment it down bellow and I will do my best to answer. As always thanks for reading

xoxo

Goals, Personal development

Productive resting

Having freedom is dangerous. What if you never do anything actually good for you and your health, whether it is mental or physical? What if when you make your choices you don’t think about how they will affect you in a couple of years?

I am a lazy person. I could easily just veg out and watch YouTube for my whole life. How ever I try really hard not to do that, so what can I or us do that will make us feel rested but still not be a total waste of time.

I want to put a disclaimer here because I am sure someone is feeling very threatened that someone dares to tell them not to watch YouTube. You can do it. Just keep your head in the game and don’t over do it.

If you would die today. Would you feel like you had a fulfilled life? Would you feel like you did all that you could to achieve goals? Did you get anything done from your bucket list? No? Me neither.

So here are some ideas for you to start resting productively, letssaaa go ๐Ÿ˜‰


Photo byย Sidney M.ย onย Unsplash
  • Make a bucket list of things you want to try. This can be an event you want to participate in, a habit you want to try, anything. I will next list out ideas that could go into your bucket list.
  • Date night; this can be with you and your partner, you and yourself or maybe you and your friends. Whom ever you will share this time with, try to plan. Don’t make it too simple like; Veg out and watch YouTube. That is what we want to avoid doing. Maybe plan an outing or a game night. Of if you are doing a date night alone, plan a pamper routine. Read a book you have put aside for “when I have time”…. yeah the time is this date night ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • Travel to a destination that you want to visit. This could be near or far away, what ever suits your life right now. If you can’t afford to go on a road trip on your own, how about you save up for a while and ask your friends/partner join you. This way you will be able to have more money and not be alone. However there is nothing wrong with going on your own. It might just be a bit of a longer time that you have to save, depending where you want to go. Plan it out.
  • Meditate
  • Watch a Skillshare video that will teach you something and actually implement it: Skillshare To try out click here and get a 2 months free try out. (I am not sponsored at all I will however get one month free for everyone who becomes a premium member after the 2 months are up)

Photo byย JESHOOTS.COMย onย Unsplash
  • Watch a documentary. And don’t be passive about it. Write up notes as you watch. Check out some details after. It might never do anything for you or one day you might impress your potential boss by knowing about something that they wouldn’t have expected you to have know. (You can obviously do for the sake of curiosity as well)
  • Practice a skill. It might be doing a handstand, maybe a Yoga pose. What ever it is. Just use a couple of hours to work on that skill. Who knows it might become your thing ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • I kind of already mentioned this but read. Read read read. It makes you rest from what ever you have to do. But it is still keeping your brain active. If you read a non fiction book you can learn and maybe implement new ideas. But even with a fiction book, you will get a lot of benefits. Making up a world in your head and escaping the reality can do great things for your health and creativity in your own projects. I personally at least feel like I am a lot more rested after reading a fiction book than just staring at the screen for ages.
  • Go for a walk. Yes it is that simple
  • Figure yourself out. Journal, have a journal prompt. Figure out anything you can about you. Isn’t it weird sometimes that we know a friend better than we know ourselves? I mean why can we give advice to a friend but when it comes to ourselves we are clueless? Well…. maybe after journaling and figuring things out, you can give advice to yourself
  • In case my ideas didn’t show case my point I shall write it here in a more clear way. When I am mentioning productive resting I mean getting our mind of work/studies or what ever else is stressing you out, and giving it a break, while not shutting it totally off. Shutting off is sometimes a good thing. But when it becomes a method to procrastinate, or to veg out totally, it becomes unhealthy. And while I am sure that the ideas I mentioned in this post are something you can still over do, but most of the time the risk is smaller than with say Instagram, YouTube or other social media.

If you want some ideas for challenges you could do or things to put on bucket lists check out the Goal Guys on YouTube (no the irony isn’t lost on me) Goal Guys My favourite video from them right now is this : I tried to go 7 Days Without Procrastination One of the reasons why I love them is because they inspire you to gamefy your goals and try new things without huge commitment fear ๐Ÿ˜‰

Also here is a link to my bucket list on Pinterest: Bucket list Pinterest

Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you in the comments. What should I write about next? What are your bucket list items?

Xoxo, Changed Life

Lessons in life

23 life lessons

Today is my birthday. I am 23 years old now and I feel like I know nothing and that I haven’t improved at all (even though I have been on a personal development journey for couple of years already, on and off) So I thought for today’s post I will give 23 of the lessons I have learned and I would be more than happy if you guys let me know about your top lessons in the comment section below ( it would be like a birthday gift for me ๐Ÿ˜‰
๐ŸŽ‚ )

  1. No one is going to save you; I know this sound very dark and harsh, but isn’t meant like that. I just mean that you have to take responsibility for your life, because everyone will eventually get tired of holding you on and themselves up. Friends and family can help you if you stumble and they should be there for you when times get tough, but eventually you have to be able to hold yourself up.
  2. The most precious things in life are experiences. Things fade away and get lost in the box of “to go through later” but your memories and lessons stay with you (unless you get amnesia or you get so old you start forgetting experiences but then you will forget where you put all the stuff you have so it still doesn’t matter)
  3. Planning only takes your so far. I know everyone of us would want to do a great plan with beautiful handwriting and execute it just like that. But most of the time we make a plan and don’t execute it at all. Or something goes wrong and we start blaming ourselves for not seeing all of the variables. Instead of being happy that we had a good base from where to start.
  4. Music makes life worth living.
  5. Good books and stories make live worth living.
  6. When everything is going to shit, it usually mean that something great is about to happen.
  7. I will never become beach ready, because in Finland its way more important to have a fat layer to live through the 8+ months of freezing weather. Instead of the 2 seconds that the beach weather lasts for. ( Please note that I am joking. I have just not worked hard enough, still a part of my goals)
  8. Life isn’t fair, but you can be.
  9. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t the primadonna of your class as long as you have the bestest people supporting you. And I 100% have the closest most amazing friends.
  10. About 80% of the times when you want to cry, you can laugh. This is not in anyway to tell anyone that they shouldn’t cry. It is just that quite often when something happens we will see it as bad but it isn’t actually that bad. And instead of shaking it off, you can laugh it off.
  11. The best thing about coming home is taking your bra off.
  12. A dog will make your life extremely messy and fucked up, and I would never change that.
  13. Parents are 99% of the time right. And when they aren’t they will still not listen to you, so don’t bother. (With all love <3)
  14. You learn more from the school of life than from a lifetime of school.
  15. People change and you will as well, don’t hold it against them. Just hope they change for the better.
  16. You can choose to see the world as a bad place or a good place that can be even better.
  17. If you have a message or opinion, share it with people who agree or are willing to listen. A brick wall won’t budge no matter how hard you bang your head against it.
  18. Exercise feels amazing, especially after it is done.
  19. Reading makes a lot of a difference. If you can’t handle paper books, at least listen to audio books.
  20. Life never goes the way you thought it would. When I was like 5 I thought I would be a stewardess who dances ballet in the airplane… not quite what I am doing now.
  21. Laughing at yourself and your mistakes makes your life way easier. It will make people more open to you and you will be more open to change.
  22. Phones are not the most important thing in the world
  23. My last and most important lesson is that I know nothing and I am willing to learn as much as possible

What are your lessons in life? What is something you want to still learn?

Thanks for reading, until next time ๐Ÿ˜‰

Personal development

5 steps back


This is a post to reminiscent the โ€œgood old daysโ€. This is not to say that the current days arenโ€™t good. They are, just different. Why am I talking about this? I thought I would go back in time. As much as I can. And work on things I used to like. I had a lot of them. But I am going to choose 5.

Doing art. I loved painting and working with clay. I donโ€™t think I will go back to art school (I used to go in a hobby sense) but I can do almost anything at home too.

Writing poetry. I loved to write poetry. It is so simple and short and you get to pour your heart out it a couple of sentences. I mean sure it can be long as well but it isnโ€™t the same thing as writing a 500-page book.


Photo byย Thought Catalogย onย Unsplash

Being outside without distraction. Like music in my ears. Donโ€™t get me wrong. If I go out for a walk I love listening to music and it gives a rhythm for my steps too. But listening to the sounds of nature… it is so relaxing and takes you to the moment at hand, something that especially right now is very rare.

Dancing. I miss dancing. I mean once in a while Iโ€™ll dance like a crazy person in my own room while no one can see me. But I donโ€™t do it enough. Plus I could go to dancing classes and actually improve too.

Climbing. When I was younger I would climb all the time. Everything. I loved it. And I might now be able to get away from doing it the โ€œnormalโ€ way but I can go to climbing parks and hey it works on my fitness as well.

What are some of the things you used to do but quit for a reason or another? Leave down in the comments ๐Ÿ™‚ Share this post and like it if you like it ๐Ÿ˜› It helps me see how Iโ€™m doing as a blogger ๐Ÿ˜‰

As always thanks for reading and see you in the next post.

Xoxo Alisa

Personal development

5 Habits before 2019

1) Structure

I want to wake up around 4.30 and 5. I know many people will get very tired of hearing this. Especially if you feel you are a night owl.  I understand as someone who kept telling myself I prefer to work at night. And well sometimes I do. But if I have to do creative things and/or concentrate on myself once in a while I do like to do it in the morning. 

  1. When you wake up early you balance out your hormones. You can read more about this here: 4 Sneaky Benefits to Waking Up at 5 AM but science states that because waking up early requires going to sleep early you balance out your hormones. The best sleep time for being the healthiest happens between 10 PM and 2 AM. That is the reason you might now wake up tired even if you wake up super early. 
  2. Waking up this early would also give me more structure. Especially if I have days I go to work later or if I don’t have work/ school at all. 
  3. Waking up at 4.30 or 5 requires some decipline. If you succeed in that it means you start your day right away with saying yes to the hard things.  

2) Going to sleep early 

This probably should have been the first goal for me, because this is what ensures that I actually have the energy to wake up. But we will roll with it. I actually don’t have an issue to go to sleep early. But I don’t have a routine set for the night and that can cause some issues…especially after a long work day when my brain runs around like a hamster in a wheel. “Gonna be late, gonna be late… for what? I dunno, just gonna be late” 

Gnight sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite ๐Ÿ˜€

3) Use my phone less…

 We already established earlier on in the blog post about phone addiction that I use my phone too much (and that you probably do as well…). I mean 5+ hours a day… that is WAY too much. Even if I use my phone a lot for work.  The phone distracts me from work, studying and from going to sleep. I usually do end up putting it away by 22 or very least 23 PM but, that doesn’t mean I get good quality sleep. And 5 hours from the day is like one third of my whole day…. so that is very scary. 

4) Read for 30 min- 1h a day

Yes, this is very much possible. Instead of being on youtube for 3 hours… I could read for that time. And since I know that I won’t be able to do it for that long right away I will start slow with  30 minutes  to an hour. Obviously I can do more, but to start of slow and steady. I really can’t use the excuse of not having time to read when I literally kill it by scrolling on my phone… 

 A great time to read when everything else is silent. Morning and evening

Photo by Yuri Efremov on Unsplash

5) Gratitude/Meditation 

So this is something that many people kind of want to brush off as a bit of whoo whoo. But well, first of all, I am a bit whoo whoo and second science actually backs this up. Soooo…. let’s get to the point. Gratitude makes you stop that hamster wheel and makes you be happy right now. Instead of always thinking about the day you get/achieve something and “Then I will be happy” … nope, you won’t be, because there is always another shinier goal you have to get. So be thankful now.

The other part of it is meditation (or you could do a thankfulness meditation and that way kill two birds with one stone). Meditation has been shown to change the way your brain is wired and if you do it in nature it is even better. Meditation clears out the clutter in your brain, making it easier for you to do what you set out to do. This is why I really need this goal in my life. Because I always have 50 things on my to-do list. But then I just feel like my brain explodes because I can’t concentrate on the one thing I am doing.

In conclusion 

This year has been about changing my life for the better. It has been about executing more and thinking less. Planning less and just doing it. And I have achieved a lot of that …. but not as much as I want. So with these habits. Which I hope to actually make constant before 2019 … I hope I will step up my game.  

 Thanks for reading…. tell me what are your goals for before 2019? 

Goals, Personal development, Reading and Books

Which mindset should you have? Growth vs Fixed.

Until very recently Iโ€™ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasnโ€™t.

I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesnโ€™t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe Iโ€™ll just make myself believe that it isnโ€™t my fault and thus I canโ€™t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I donโ€™t want to be.

I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like โ€œShit that is exactly like me!?โ€ โ€œAnd my poor family friends and boyfriend.โ€

What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?

  • You believe you canโ€™t amount to anything because you arenโ€™t smart enough
  • Failure defines you.
  • You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
  • Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

  • You get excited about the challenges
  • You are happy when others succeed
  • You do everything in your power to be better after failing
  • You donโ€™t let challenges get to you.

I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.

Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?

Because always being right (even when you arenโ€™t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so youโ€™ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you canโ€™t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isnโ€™t true.

I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if Iโ€™d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.

Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!

-Alisa