Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

10 things to STOP right now

I am not sitting on a high horse here, I swear to god I do these things too. I just think we should pay attention to these things more.

  1. Stop saying sorry for how you look. Even if you haven’t tried to “put yourself together” you have absolutely NO reason to apologize how you look. Just be unapologetically you. It’s the best thing for yourself you can do.
  2. Stop saying you are OCD, depressed etc. Sure you might be precise in something or feel like shit once in a while. But unless you actually suffer from these conditions it sounds almost demeaning. I mean is it OCD to make your bed daily? No, that is not even close to what OCD is. Same thing with depression. And if you keep telling yourself you are depressed all the time, even if you just have a shitty moment in a day, who says it won’t become the truth? Concentrating on the bad definitely makes you more likely to only notice that.
  3. Stop trying to justify what you are doing to others. As long as you aren’t doing anything illegal or hurting someone, you don’t owe anyone anything. So stop explaining. Just do what you want/need to do, and let everyone else stress about your life if they want to do that. That is their problem, not yours. Trying to get validation from everyone just makes sure you never live your life and that is not something you want to realize when you are 80…
  4. Stop talking about motivation. Try to eliminate that word even from the thoughts you have. (I don’t feel like it goes into the same category.) If there is no such thing as motivation or feeling like doing something you have no excuse not to do that thing.
  5. Stop talking shit about others. I am going to be realistic, you sometimes will feel like shit about someone and what they did or said. But you will save time if you don’t gossip about them.
  6. Stop scrolling your phone in the morning and in the evening when its bedtime. The bed should be a no phone zone. I am not good at this. But it will make your day start better and it will make you feel more sleepy in the evening when social media hasn’t filled you with things to think about. And we all know what the blue light does!
  7. Stop listening to music all the time. (I say as I write this and listen to music…) but the idea is that we need to get used to silence as well. How often have you spent a proper amount of time with no phone and no music or video on the background? If you can’t be calm in silence that isn’t normal. It isn’t good for you. It technically means you can’t be one on one with yourself. I am one of these people. How do you know if you are too? Just close all sources of noise and see how long you last before you feel uncomfortable. If you can’t last more than an hour, or you feel anxious you should get used to silence.
  8. Stop planning. I am a planner. I write what I should do and when and how long it will take me and how amazing it would be to achieve xyz. But do I achieve these things? No. I just talk and talk and talk and I think I will do them when I feel like it and motivated… wait but I can’t use those terms… so I must do it now or realize it isn’t a priority.
  9. Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do. Rather just say no I can’t/ don’t want to do something that promises that you will do it and then have to come up with a legit sounding excuse to why you need to cancel. It will make you less stressed when you feel like you need to do way more than you can. And it will make you more reliable because when you say yes it actually means yes.
  10. Stop leaving stuff where it doesn’t belong. Don’t leave those pants on the floor, or the pens into the wrong drawer. Make your life easier for yourself and just put everything where it belongs. Trust me not only will you save time, you will feel calmer and collected when your room doesn’t look like a tornado hit it.

In the end, these habits aren’t really that difficult to change, but in the long run, they will save you time, make you feel better about yourself and really they just make you seem more like an adult. So let’s all try to stop doing this, shall we!

Thanks for reading! What is the most difficult thing on the list, for you?

xoxo

-Alisa

Personal development

Confidence

So, you want to be confident but you don’t know where to start?

 

Let me give you some tips, that I have used myself, and that way you won’t feel the need to get surgeries, use billions to have someone give you a “makeover” (that wouldn’t do anything, anyway, if you feel insecure on the inside, just saying)

I want to first state that in my opinion, confidence comes from the inside, so do not try to boost your confidence by spending a lot of money on clothes, make up etc. I do not think it makes you confident for the long term. Let’s start, shall we?

  1. Confidence isn’t just about looks. Confidence is about ambition, about having understanding in subject other people might not. Do not hide away if you are a book worm, or you love statistical maths, just find people who know how to appreciate that in you. Knowledge and ambition makes a person so much more attractive to others, so don’t hide your brain, it is just as beautiful as your body.
  2. Accept compliments. Look I know it is trendy now to be all shy and humble. But there is a difference between humble and plain evil to yourself. “Humble is saying Oh thank you so much, you look amazing as well, where did you get this shirt it makes your eyes pop so nicely?” And mean to yourself is “Oh gosh, no way, I look like a zombie from the walking dead. I just can’t make myself look pretty unlike you, you just shine like a diamond.” Look the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves has an amazing amount of impact. Not only do we make ourselves seem less attractive by being in this “victim mode” we also make ourselves believe what we say.
  3. Gurll/bro, please don’t apologize for how you look. If you slept bad last night then don’t even mention it and hustle on. And if someone else says “You look tired” Then you should say “Yeah, slept bad last night, but hey I still look pretty fab considering.” Not only will this make you seem like a happier person, which is always an attractive trait in a person, it will also make you seem confident. Seeming confident to others will also make yourself feel more confident, which will just improve your state of mind all in all.
  4. Listen to music that is upbeat and happy, when you are walking. Or right before a stressful event. Having purposeful strides makes you seem like someone with a mission = Confident. Also it will get you in a better mood, so you seem more alert and in the present.
  5. Don’t shy away from confidence. There is a very big difference between being confident, secure in who you are and being an egoistical ass h***. Just be you and be comfortable being you, don’t over do it, and do not disrespect others, that makes it impossible for you to be egoistical.
  6. Give it time. You won’t feel amazing and perfect in a day. Just keep working on being the best version of you and make sure not to put yourself down, and you will be confident one day. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.

If you guys want tips on how to improve confidence with clothes, make up and such leave a comment below and I will be sure to touch upon the subject in a future post of mine. But keep in mind that inner confidence is much more important than outer one.

xoxo,

-Alisa

 

Lessons in life

A rant: Which truth is more true?

I love watching youtube and I love social media. I love people and I love long talk with people. But some things bother me, but especially this one: Assuming that one person knows the whole truth about everything.

I notice this pattern online. Someone says something at it resonates with some people, and someone says something that contradicts it, and the first thing they do to the person who dared to have a different opinion? Attack! (This is SPARTA).

I mean yes, if someone is on purpose being mean and evil then, of course, you have to step in and say something, and maybe even if they aren’t mean, leaving a comment with your opinion isn’t bad. But when we go into personal things like ” You are just ugly and jealous and you don’t get this and the other person has more followers so they must be right” then that’s just plain stupid.

I notice that most often it is just best to not say anything if you aren’t 100% sure you don’t come off as rude. The thing is, no matter how much you tell your opinion online, there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees, and that is not always a bad thing.  Disagreeing is a gate for discussion, not always does it lead to anything good but sometimes it does. You have to be the judge of the situation, though, and think if it really is important to prove yourself to be right.

And sometimes even if you know you are right, then it’s smarter to just walk away. Some conversations are just never going to end and will suck the life from you, when someone “knows” something, no matter what you say will change their mind. So just save your breath and have a discussion with someone who can teach you something or who is open to being taught. In the end, you can not get through a wall if there is no weak spot in it.

Live and let live, not all arguments are to be won and you don’t always have to be right. Sometimes there can be multiple truths and sometimes it doesn’t matter what the truth is. As long as you are confident in what you believe in and that makes you happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone else) then just continue believing in what you believe.

For the love of what is holy, please get off your high horses people, really, chances are we are all wrong.

-The Writer

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