Personal development, Reading and Books

Why wait for tragedy? Change now!

We live in a society that has it all! Information at our fingertips on your phones, libraries with books from the floor to the ceiling. We have internet to contact our mentors, either through books or perhaps if you are daring enough by sending them a message on LinkedIn.

Waiting for a tragedy to wake up

For some reason we decide to change the most the next week, or the next year. And quite often when something bad happens like losing a parents or getting into an accident. The shock of the tragedy just wakes us up, and we get moving. But do we actually need to wait for the New Year? Or that car crash? Of course not. The best thing for us, is to commit to making our lives the best we can today. Just because we actually deserve to be happy.

I’ve written on this subject before. But I wanted to get more into depth on this. Instead of just telling you to try something new and to write down your goals, let’s get really really deep on this! Brain and psychology deep? Sound interesting? Let’s go!

The science and Moran Cerf

Moran Cerf is a bank robber/hacker (it was an actually paid job, not criminal behavior I promise) turned neuroscientist. He has done major research on how the brain works and how to change behavior. He is also well into the research of dreams and so much more. I have seen his amazing interview on Tom Bilyeu’s show as well as his speech on training the brain. Both of those were extremely informative. If you want more data, see his own speech and if you need more info on how to make changes yourself, watch the interview with Tom.

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

Here are some facts. The easiest most active way we can change our habits, are by activating your brain during the sleep, long sleep to be more specific. What this looks like, that right at the right moment, you will either use smells, words or the like, to make the brain file away information in a certain way. For example, if you want to stop smoking; someone would sprits nicotine into your brain, and right after that something that smells horrid. Your brain will make a connection right away, that smoking is bad, after a while of doing this, the result stays. You can affect your brain in other ways too, nutrition, medications, exercise and so much more.

My idea

There are other studies that show that you are more likely to remember things with high emotions attached to them. Anger, sadness happiness etc. this brings me to a theory, that I haven’t checked and I am not sure if anyone else has, but we will see if it works for us! So as I want myself to learn more and study more on various different subjects, I will use studying as an example, but you can chose what ever you want to change in your life. I am using positive things to change my attitude to studying but if you want to stop doing something you can use a negative enforcer. Ok? Let’s go!

Right before you start studying for something (or doing sports etc) watch something that will lift your spirits, a good comedian, a strip of Tom and Jerry cartoon if you a re a kid at heart like me, anything along those lines. Right after that start studying. Try to think of funny ways of remembering the things your are studying. (e.g Never Eat Soggy Waffles = North, East, South, West) Once you are about to go to sleep, try to read through these fun notes you have made yourself (or listen to them if you made them in an audio version) Once you have done all of this try tho get yourself into a very happy mood. I suggest not really watching or reading anything new, but just elevate your emotions. Then go to sleep.

Now I have again now studies on how this will work. But based on the studies done on how memories are formed and how mood affects those memories, I think it is safe to assume your are more likely to remember those things. Like I said I want to get a positive connotation to studying in my brain that why I use humor and joy to remember those things, if you want to stop eating certain foods, I guess banging your leg against the corner of a table could work… or going to eat that food next to the trash… I mean depending on how desperate you are to change a habit, you will do a lot for it right?

My idea is this, that while you get yourself into a better mood while you study (or do other things you normally wouldn’t want to do) you are able to remember things better but ALSO able to trick your brain into actually liking the process of studying or doing sports etc. Two flies with one hit.

Your turn!

What I would love for all of you lovely readers to do is, test this theory (actually properly not just once half assed) and tell me how it went. What worked what didn’t and why do you think it didn’t? I will be doing this myself as well!

Can’t wait to hear from you guys, as always thanks for reading and I appreciate any feedback I get! I am going to link more resources below so you can learn about changing yourself, without having to wait for a tragedy to strike! Happy learning! Happy autumn everyone!

Resources for further learning:

Psychology of invention, How hobbies can boost productivity and creativity, Neuroscience; rewiring the brain

(Would you like me to react on these articles? Maybe give my own advice that is more catered into our “normal” lives? If so, leave a comment down below )

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Lessons in life, Personal development

How to have great conversations?

You might be thinking; you are a personal development blogger. How does this relate.?Everyone can talk. First things first; no, not everyone knows how to talk effectively. And secondly, if you want to learn more, become successful or connect with people you MUST know how to effectively communicate with others. Also in this society where shock value of a conversation is way more important than actually getting forward with topics that might have multiple view; I feel it is essential to learn how to communicate effectively and to learn from one another!

Let’s define terms

What does a conversation mean. A dictionary definition is: ” a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.” How would I define a great conversations? A great conversation, is where both participants get a voice, both state their opinions/experiences and are able to; despite potentially disagreeing with other, be civil. In a great conversation, even if it ends with people “agreeing to disagreeing”, both participants feel listened and respected. This conversation, despite it being emotional, political or tied to ones identity, remains civil and no slurs, raising of the voice or argument( heated one) is anywhere to be seen.

Very short a sweet things to consider when having a conversation;

  1. How emotionally stable am I right now, to have this conversation?
  2. Do I actually have the facts, to base my opinions on?
  3. Am I capable of being an adult in this situation, since I am so emotionally invested in the topic?
  4. If I know someone wants to criticize me, can I without referring to childish ways of “You started it”, have it or should I ask them to come back to the topic later?
  5. This is the right time, place and am I in the right mindset right now, to start this conversation.

Very great change starts from very small conversations held among people who care

Margaret J. Wheatley

Here are the 5 short tips in a longer form:

1. Don’t yell/cry/ have a tantrum

You want to seems intelligent and level headed. This doesn’t mean you can’t show feelings, just make sure that those feelings don’t come out as a protection mechanism. It often does goes like this to me, and trust me when I say that it has never helped me to get my point across… other way around. I am extremely emotional. And often I start crying if I am angry/frustrated. This just makes me seem younger and not as mature in the conversation, meaning that even the points that are valid, that I would make are disregarded… because I am crying.

2. Do not make statements that sound like you know what you are talking about, but are actually bs.

For example; “billions of women are mistreated everyday. I read about it just yesterday”. A) If you read about something yesterday, you probably remember the source. B) Unless the number is actually billion(s) you shouldn’t use that word for shock value. Stay to the facts, or make sure to make clear that that point is your understanding of the situation, not 100% fact.

3. Don’t get personal with someone just because you feel strongly about the subject.

If someone is being sexist, you should say things like “Well you were probably abused as a kid, and this is why you are being so fucked up right now.” There is no reason to assume that, and just because someone’s opinion hurts you, doesn’t mean you should hurt them back. Most of the time it is more healthy to rather not have a conversation with someone than to become verbally abusive in the situation. Even if the person is actually wrong in that case.

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue, that’s why there are so few conversations; due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.”

Truman Capote

4. If someone is giving you criticism, responding back with criticism.

It is selfish, childish and it won’t take the conversation forward. There are two ways to react to criticism. 1) Note that this sound actually truthful and you should probably take this into consideration. If this thing you are criticized for hurts others, apologize. 2) Realize this doesn’t apply to you and try to explain why you disagree. If you can’t come up with an understanding, let the conversation die out and live your life

5.When starting a conversation doing it in an attacking kind of way.

We all know with extremes that it is probably not the greatest time to break up with someone if their parent just died. You shouldn’t point out someone’s problems when they are down. Having a conversation, especially where you are planning on criticizing someone, is important that you do it, when they are in a receptive mode. (This doesn’t mean you should break up with someone on their b-day or something like that either….)

If some topics interest you, say racism, feminism, religion etc etc. You should research before trying to have a debate/conversation with someone. If this conversation is totally spontaneous, explain your points clearly, or if you notice that you can’t verbalize yourself in a way you want to. Tell that to the other person. There is no shame, in saying that you don’t feel comfortable talking about something due to lack of knowledge or because you are uncomfortable.

So shortly;

Don’t be too emotional, don’t get on a high horse, don’t be a bitch, don’t get defensive and don’t attack. It is very simple… very very simple. And people seem to just decide to muck it all up, because of feelings and because of EGO….. Also I am noooooot on a high horse right now. I have made pretty much every single one of these mistakes in some type of fashion.

Here are some great resources in order to be more educated, be a better communicator and also just how to keep a conversation up, so that it doesn’t become awkward. I will also link some posts on similar topics written by me ๐Ÿ™‚

Ted Talk – Celeste Headlee: How to have a good conversation

Practical Psychology on YouTube. They have a great vault of new ideas, information and tips and trick, not only for communicating more “fluently” but also to just learn more things and having more interesting topics to discuss.

How to not be that polarizing in conversations

Charisma on Command : I must admit, I have binge watched these videos more than on one occasion. He has a great way to analyze a persons actions (positive and negative) and show through very clear example of how to command respect, how to be funny and how to despite not always being correct, being able to have a proper and respectful conversation. If you want to become a public speaker, a good writer or a likable person in general, you should totally check this channel out !

Now to the posts I have written that I think you will benefit from: Not everyone listens; do you? , Learning and age, 10 simple things I do for a positivity boost

As always thank you for reading. Please don’t hesitate to comment and let’s start conversations.

Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

How to successfully study (even if you aren’t at school)

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice”

Brian Herbert

So; I had a blog post poll and twitter and 2 post ideas got the same votes; the one I am writing about right now and “How to have conversations”. So I will make the post about conversations for next Monday. But today we will talk about how to study. While the title mentions that it isn’t for school, it can be applied to school as well. I just feel like even after we are done with school, we should still continue learning and this we need to know how to study; so here we go! (I will link bellow my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn! )

Tip N.1; Choose one thing (Maybe two if they are different enough)

I feel like the most important part is to figure out what you want to study. I don’t think there is a good thing and a mad thing to study. You can study languages, math, culture, history, self development. What ever feels like your own.

However this poses a problem. You aren’t at school, so no one is going to give you a limit to what to study. It isn’t realistic to study all sub parts of all of the topics listed about (plus there is like 1000’s of more of them, that I just don’t have time to list). So as my tip suggest don’t choose too many things to study. Even if it seems very tempting.

You could study a language and history. That way they are different enough. If you study Spanish you might want to learn about Spanish history, because you might understand the culture better. But don’t choose too many things, just so you don’t feel overwhelmed. I am sure we all remember how stressful it was to learn everything for our finals, why would you do that to yourself on purpose, right?

Once you stop learning you start dying.

Albert Einstein

Tip 2; How do you learn best?

Now that teachers aren’t thrusting a book into your had and telling you to read and learn 500 pages by heart. You can actually listen to yourself and figure out how you learn best. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use multiple methods, it means you should see what works the best and after that using the other methods to bring variety into your studies. Just because you like pasta the most doesn’t mean you can never eat anything else…right? So Figure out your tastes and start planning

Tip 3; Plan your learning

Learning can be a great way to pass time and relaxing without having to check your phone
Learning can be fun!

This doesn’t have to be as hardcore as at schools. You don’t have to know that by the end of tomorrow you have read chapters 1-5 from a book. But making sure you have some kind of a picture is important. If you work, are a stay at home mother or go to school and want to learn things outside of school, you should make sure you have time for the thing you want to study.

So check your calendar. Is 30 minutes a day realistic? How about 1 hour every other day? Maybe study what you want for couple of hours during the weekend. Or make it a part of your morning routine. You can easily wake up 15 minutes earlier and decide to study a little bit of vocabulary before getting up. Or do that during night time, this way your brain will process the info while you sleep. Either way, make sure you have time for what you want to learn. Trust me when I say it doesn’t work if you just plan on studying “when you feel like it” it didn’t work in school and it sure as hell won’t work now, because you won’t even have you finals to force you to study…

Tip 4; Figure out a why

Just being curious is a good thing, but it won’t last you for a long time and it won’t be something constant. Obviously there is nothing wrong about once in a while reading a fascinating article. However, if you want to seriously learn something, you should have a strong why. For example; I want to learn Spanish, because I have studied it for ages and I like the sound of it. The idea that I could one day have a conversation with a Spanish person seems fantastic and I think it will help me understand their culture. Since culture and languages are often closely linked. A while a go I learned, because I had family members in France. Just thinking the languages if fun, isn’t a bad reason. But it rarely is strong enough. However if it is good enough for you, great!


Here were my 4 tips for studying even if you aren’t at school. All of these however work even if you are. Leave a comment if I forgot something and I hope this helps! Bellow I linked my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn!

My posts; Growth VS. Fixed mindset , Be taught and teach, 5 life changing challenges

Other helpful sources; AsapSCIENCE, Charisma On Command, Fastcompany, How to learn books

Xoxo, Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

Clearing up personal development

What is personal development? Get rich fast scheme. Work non stop till you drop so you can die becoming a millionaire. Well, I am sure someone could think of it that way… but no.

I am very fascinated with personal development. But I think there is a misconception that there is one way of doing personal development. And that just isn’t accurate. It is call personal for a reason. It is the development you instill in yourself. And it can look different for different people.

If someone would ask what I think personal development is, I would say it is someone working on their weaknesses and getting out of the comfort zone. There must be a part which is not comfortable to you. Because those things that are easy and nice to do, don’t make you grow. They are still important to have in your life, but they don’t make you grow (sorry)

How ever what you do in order to grow is up to you. It could be traveling; there is so much to learn about yourself and the world with traveling. It forces you to think about your finances and it makes you be more organized, since ofc. you don’t want to miss your train/bus/plane etc.

It can just as well be reading books on the topics that you don’t know. It can be fitness, it can be going to courses. Anything. But you have to do it well.

I started personal development about 5 ish years ago. And I can’t say I have come far. Not because I have some extremely hard story to tell. Simply because I haven’t before given my all to working on myself. You can always find something to work on. But it is very easy to come up with excuses. Just like with anything. And I sure did.

Personal development is very important. It requires self discipline and awareness. You must realize what you must change or work on in yourself and stick to it. That isn’t easy. But if you want to go from where you are to somewhere better. Something that you have dreamed about, you must work on yourself.

Why do I think it is extremely important? We as a society constantly look at everyone else. Judging and saying how everyone else is so dumb and “I would have done it better”…would you have? I mean maybe. If so then just go and do those things differently. Work hard to make sure you can make a change. If we work on ourselves to be the best us we can be. Then things we achieve when we come all together are magnificent.

Many broken people aren’t going to make a full society. So working on ourselves is way more important than pointing fingers at others.

What should you work on? Leave in the comments! ๐Ÿ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

To follow me on my socials click here. FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

Personal development, Reading and Books

5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

As always my communities are to be found here: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Spirituality

New way of Goal Setting

Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.

Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.

Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.

What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.

So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.

Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?

P.S Happy belated Easter!

Xoxo

Goals, Personal development, Student Life

Gamify your success

When you play Super Mario, despite sometimes killing him of, you usually try again, and again…. and again. Sometimes this lasts for so long, you end up losing track of time, causing you to fail at doing something actually productive. But you can actually learn a lot from your games. There are numerous studies done, showing how gaming (a reasonable amount) is actually healthy and good for development. It helps with problem solving, motor skills and improves creativity. But today I am not talking about those benefits. I am however very open to write about that, if you are interested.

My topic today is about turning your actual life into a game. This is not originally my idea, a lot of people on YouTube and on their blogs, do challenges and use apps to make their life into a game. Some examples are Thomas Frank, The Goal Guys and Max Hertan.

What does it mean in practice? It means first of all that you have a goal. It could be writing a 10 page essay, or learning to do a split in 30 days. What ever your goal is, it can be gamefied. How to do it? I will break it down bellow, just like a real life video game, everyone will have their own approach, so feel free to tweak anything that you feel necessary.

  1. Have a goal. In a video game like Super Mario, it could be getting through a level or defeating Bowser. If it is defeating Bowser, you use the levels as your steps, until you are at the final showdown. If it is getting through a level your steps will be on a shorter scale, like jumping in the right place and killing the right enemy at the write time. So just like in a game, with a goal you have to come up with steps to win.
  2. Track your progress in a visible way. It wouldn’t be fun to play Mario or any other game, if you could never see how many enemies you have killed, or if you would never level up. That is the same in a real life goal. If you want to learn splits, make sure you document your progress. Even if you aren’t as close as you want to be to a split, at least you can see how far you have come, if you for example take pictures. Or you could mark in your calendar daily how many minutes you have stretched etc.
  3. Reward yourself. This is slightly controversial. There are a lot of people who are super successful, that think this is not helpful. And if you only do things because of a treat, instead of feeling the pride for getting healthier or for getting the project done. I can understand the concern. However I assume, that people don’t want to do things that seem big and daunting without some kind of small wins in between. So stretch while you watch a series you love. It’s two birds with one stone and it is more fun that way as well. Or after each page you have written of the essay you can go scratch your puppy. Make sure it is something that you don’t over do the rewarding tho. You don’t deserve to binge watch youtube for stretching your hamstrings for 2 seconds.
  4. Keep it real. if you start too many goals, too many projects and you try to make everything into a game, you might lose. You can’t play Mario, Call of Duty and solve the Rubik’s Cube all at the same time. The same thing with goals. Don’t beat yourself up for falling down or not getting through a level. Only beat yourself up, if you didn’t get back up to try again.

Here are some apps to helps you gamify your goals/tasks:

  • Habitica: Gamify Your tasks
  • Forest: Stay Focused
  • Fitness RPG- Gamify your Pedometer
  • Do it Now- RPG To Do List/ Task List

These are some of the apps you will get on an android device. I am sure there are many for the Apple phones as well.

Thanks for reading! This post was really fun to write, as this is something I want to incorporate more into my life, to get more exciting and interesting things done (as well as the mandatory ones). What are some of your goals you would like to turn into a game?

Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ˜‰ Untill next time

Xoxo

Personal development

January Favorites

Music

Ahhhh music… I don’t know what I would do without it… I swear music makes everything amazing. Anyway, in general in music, I like deeper more melancholic music right now. Not sad music, just not upbeat like I used to. (Tho I love some pop to dance to once in a while ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) But right now my favorite singer of all time is LP go listen to her here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDjeBNv6ip0&list=RDMM&start_radio=1

Learning

  1. I love listening to Audio Books on Scribd. It is a platform with books, audiobooks, and magazines on any topic. It is pretty affordable considering how many books you can get for the one monthly price of about 8 โ‚ฌ/ month (not sponsored)
  2. Skillshare: With less than 100 โ‚ฌ a year you get an unlimited amount of courses. The topics go from learning the coding language to painting with watercolors. Learning about business to writing better. Languages, business and pretty much anything else ( oh and if you are great at something you can make a course yourself as well!)
    (not sponsored)

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Fitness

I have been so lazy for pretty much most of my life. Now I am back on track going to the gym and taking lessons! I love my gym. It has so much variety classes range from dance to yoga to muscle training and obviously, in the gym itself, you can work out anything you want.

Comment down below what your favorite things are right now. And also should I make this a recurring monthly post? What do you guys think?

Thanks for reading

Xoxo Alisa

Goals, Personal development, Reading and Books

Which mindset should you have? Growth vs Fixed.

Until very recently Iโ€™ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasnโ€™t.

I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesnโ€™t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe Iโ€™ll just make myself believe that it isnโ€™t my fault and thus I canโ€™t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I donโ€™t want to be.

I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like โ€œShit that is exactly like me!?โ€ โ€œAnd my poor family friends and boyfriend.โ€

What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?

  • You believe you canโ€™t amount to anything because you arenโ€™t smart enough
  • Failure defines you.
  • You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
  • Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

  • You get excited about the challenges
  • You are happy when others succeed
  • You do everything in your power to be better after failing
  • You donโ€™t let challenges get to you.

I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.

Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?

Because always being right (even when you arenโ€™t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so youโ€™ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you canโ€™t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isnโ€™t true.

I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if Iโ€™d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.

Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!

-Alisa

Personal development

How to change your life? Challenge 2/5

The second reason you are failing at your goals? You aren’t surrounded with motivated people.

This is a killer for me. Seriously. Becauseย  I vibe with a lot of people easily and I find that I enjoy sarcasm and kind of a pessimistic humor. And that is all fun and games. But what about when I have to execute?

Should I leave my current friends behind and just not bother with them?

No, 1st of all, I have amazing friends and all of them I am sure are motivated in their own way. I just happen to have my own goals and they have theirs and when we get together. We do not really talk about each other’s goals. We like to just be and have fun. And having that hey its Sunday and my week kinda sucked could we see or hey I feel like pizza wanna join friends are important, at least that’s what I’d like to think.

But then you really have to also find people with similar ideas and goals and those who will actually kick your butt when you fail to do something you promised yourself to do. We are shit at holding ourselves accountable so finding someone who will do it for you is very important.

Something we should remember is that as we grow and evolve the chances of all of your old friends still being here in 20 years is very low. There doesn’t have to be a lot of drama or huge fights. People just grow in different directions and that is ok. Do not decide to forgo your plans and goals just because you feel a friendship might burn out due to that.

No matter who it is, you shouldn’t stop reaching for your goals for them. If they really love and care for you, they will support you even if they don’t understand the reason you are working so hard.

Hope you enjoyed this small post. Share below if you have great insight on this topic ๐Ÿ˜‰

xoxo

Alisa