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Tag: Learning

Clearing up personal development

What is personal development? Get rich fast scheme. Work non stop till you drop so you can die becoming a millionaire. Well, I am sure someone could think of it that way… but no.

I am very fascinated with personal development. But I think there is a misconception that there is one way of doing personal development. And that just isn’t accurate. It is call personal for a reason. It is the development you instill in yourself. And it can look different for different people.

If someone would ask what I think personal development is, I would say it is someone working on their weaknesses and getting out of the comfort zone. There must be a part which is not comfortable to you. Because those things that are easy and nice to do, don’t make you grow. They are still important to have in your life, but they don’t make you grow (sorry)

How ever what you do in order to grow is up to you. It could be traveling; there is so much to learn about yourself and the world with traveling. It forces you to think about your finances and it makes you be more organized, since ofc. you don’t want to miss your train/bus/plane etc.

It can just as well be reading books on the topics that you don’t know. It can be fitness, it can be going to courses. Anything. But you have to do it well.

I started personal development about 5 ish years ago. And I can’t say I have come far. Not because I have some extremely hard story to tell. Simply because I haven’t before given my all to working on myself. You can always find something to work on. But it is very easy to come up with excuses. Just like with anything. And I sure did.

Personal development is very important. It requires self discipline and awareness. You must realize what you must change or work on in yourself and stick to it. That isn’t easy. But if you want to go from where you are to somewhere better. Something that you have dreamed about, you must work on yourself.

Why do I think it is extremely important? We as a society constantly look at everyone else. Judging and saying how everyone else is so dumb and “I would have done it better”…would you have? I mean maybe. If so then just go and do those things differently. Work hard to make sure you can make a change. If we work on ourselves to be the best us we can be. Then things we achieve when we come all together are magnificent.

Many broken people aren’t going to make a full society. So working on ourselves is way more important than pointing fingers at others.

What should you work on? Leave in the comments! 🙂

Xoxo, Alisa

To follow me on my socials click here. FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

As always my communities are to be found here: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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New way of Goal Setting

Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.

Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.

Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.

What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.

So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.

Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?

P.S Happy belated Easter!

Xoxo

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Gamify your success

When you play Super Mario, despite sometimes killing him of, you usually try again, and again…. and again. Sometimes this lasts for so long, you end up losing track of time, causing you to fail at doing something actually productive. But you can actually learn a lot from your games. There are numerous studies done, showing how gaming (a reasonable amount) is actually healthy and good for development. It helps with problem solving, motor skills and improves creativity. But today I am not talking about those benefits. I am however very open to write about that, if you are interested.

My topic today is about turning your actual life into a game. This is not originally my idea, a lot of people on YouTube and on their blogs, do challenges and use apps to make their life into a game. Some examples are Thomas Frank, The Goal Guys and Max Hertan.

What does it mean in practice? It means first of all that you have a goal. It could be writing a 10 page essay, or learning to do a split in 30 days. What ever your goal is, it can be gamefied. How to do it? I will break it down bellow, just like a real life video game, everyone will have their own approach, so feel free to tweak anything that you feel necessary.

  1. Have a goal. In a video game like Super Mario, it could be getting through a level or defeating Bowser. If it is defeating Bowser, you use the levels as your steps, until you are at the final showdown. If it is getting through a level your steps will be on a shorter scale, like jumping in the right place and killing the right enemy at the write time. So just like in a game, with a goal you have to come up with steps to win.
  2. Track your progress in a visible way. It wouldn’t be fun to play Mario or any other game, if you could never see how many enemies you have killed, or if you would never level up. That is the same in a real life goal. If you want to learn splits, make sure you document your progress. Even if you aren’t as close as you want to be to a split, at least you can see how far you have come, if you for example take pictures. Or you could mark in your calendar daily how many minutes you have stretched etc.
  3. Reward yourself. This is slightly controversial. There are a lot of people who are super successful, that think this is not helpful. And if you only do things because of a treat, instead of feeling the pride for getting healthier or for getting the project done. I can understand the concern. However I assume, that people don’t want to do things that seem big and daunting without some kind of small wins in between. So stretch while you watch a series you love. It’s two birds with one stone and it is more fun that way as well. Or after each page you have written of the essay you can go scratch your puppy. Make sure it is something that you don’t over do the rewarding tho. You don’t deserve to binge watch youtube for stretching your hamstrings for 2 seconds.
  4. Keep it real. if you start too many goals, too many projects and you try to make everything into a game, you might lose. You can’t play Mario, Call of Duty and solve the Rubik’s Cube all at the same time. The same thing with goals. Don’t beat yourself up for falling down or not getting through a level. Only beat yourself up, if you didn’t get back up to try again.

Here are some apps to helps you gamify your goals/tasks:

  • Habitica: Gamify Your tasks
  • Forest: Stay Focused
  • Fitness RPG- Gamify your Pedometer
  • Do it Now- RPG To Do List/ Task List

These are some of the apps you will get on an android device. I am sure there are many for the Apple phones as well.

Thanks for reading! This post was really fun to write, as this is something I want to incorporate more into my life, to get more exciting and interesting things done (as well as the mandatory ones). What are some of your goals you would like to turn into a game?

Thanks for reading 😉 Untill next time

Xoxo

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January Favorites

Music

Ahhhh music… I don’t know what I would do without it… I swear music makes everything amazing. Anyway, in general in music, I like deeper more melancholic music right now. Not sad music, just not upbeat like I used to. (Tho I love some pop to dance to once in a while 😉 ) But right now my favorite singer of all time is LP go listen to her here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDjeBNv6ip0&list=RDMM&start_radio=1

Learning

  1. I love listening to Audio Books on Scribd. It is a platform with books, audiobooks, and magazines on any topic. It is pretty affordable considering how many books you can get for the one monthly price of about 8 €/ month (not sponsored)
  2. Skillshare: With less than 100 € a year you get an unlimited amount of courses. The topics go from learning the coding language to painting with watercolors. Learning about business to writing better. Languages, business and pretty much anything else ( oh and if you are great at something you can make a course yourself as well!)
    (not sponsored)

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Fitness

I have been so lazy for pretty much most of my life. Now I am back on track going to the gym and taking lessons! I love my gym. It has so much variety classes range from dance to yoga to muscle training and obviously, in the gym itself, you can work out anything you want.

Comment down below what your favorite things are right now. And also should I make this a recurring monthly post? What do you guys think?

Thanks for reading

Xoxo Alisa

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Which mindset should you have? Growth vs Fixed.

Until very recently I’ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasn’t.

I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesn’t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe I’ll just make myself believe that it isn’t my fault and thus I can’t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I don’t want to be.

I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like “Shit that is exactly like me!?” “And my poor family friends and boyfriend.”

What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?

  • You believe you can’t amount to anything because you aren’t smart enough
  • Failure defines you.
  • You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
  • Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

  • You get excited about the challenges
  • You are happy when others succeed
  • You do everything in your power to be better after failing
  • You don’t let challenges get to you.

I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.

Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?

Because always being right (even when you aren’t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so you’ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you can’t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isn’t true.

I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if I’d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.

Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!

-Alisa

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How to change your life? Challenge 2/5

The second reason you are failing at your goals? You aren’t surrounded with motivated people.

This is a killer for me. Seriously. Because  I vibe with a lot of people easily and I find that I enjoy sarcasm and kind of a pessimistic humor. And that is all fun and games. But what about when I have to execute?

Should I leave my current friends behind and just not bother with them?

No, 1st of all, I have amazing friends and all of them I am sure are motivated in their own way. I just happen to have my own goals and they have theirs and when we get together. We do not really talk about each other’s goals. We like to just be and have fun. And having that hey its Sunday and my week kinda sucked could we see or hey I feel like pizza wanna join friends are important, at least that’s what I’d like to think.

But then you really have to also find people with similar ideas and goals and those who will actually kick your butt when you fail to do something you promised yourself to do. We are shit at holding ourselves accountable so finding someone who will do it for you is very important.

Something we should remember is that as we grow and evolve the chances of all of your old friends still being here in 20 years is very low. There doesn’t have to be a lot of drama or huge fights. People just grow in different directions and that is ok. Do not decide to forgo your plans and goals just because you feel a friendship might burn out due to that.

No matter who it is, you shouldn’t stop reaching for your goals for them. If they really love and care for you, they will support you even if they don’t understand the reason you are working so hard.

Hope you enjoyed this small post. Share below if you have great insight on this topic 😉

xoxo

Alisa

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5 things I’ve learned while trying to change my life

Since I have been working and I have 2 summer courses to do (Due date is 01.07) I have not been writing. I really need to get the hang of writing in advance and just scheduling the post for later. Something else to add to my “To improve” list. But let’s start with today’s topic, shall we?

Some weeks back I wrote a blog post about wanting to change my life in 365 days. Try to work on bettering everything I can, for those 365 days. I hope you guys have jumped on the journey with me. (If you haven’t read the post yet here it is; https://changedlife365.net/2018/05/12/change-my-life-in-365/)

About 1,5 months ago I decided that I want to work on myself for every day of the year. To commit to improving who I am. I have been realizing some things along the way.  So what have I learned?

  1. You can’t try too many things at once. I knew this before. It is something I have struggled with before. It just has been emphasized while I have been trying to work on the things I am working on right now. If I wake up at 5 which is my goal, I won’t resist chocolate that day. One big decision in a day, that is all my brain can handle. And it is just going to be either or for now. It doesn’t mean I have to have only the 5 am as a goal for the whole year, but until it becomes easier, changing something else that requires a lot of self-discipline will have to wait.
  2. Not all those things that I thought will be good for me are going to work. It is ok to let some goals go to the graveyard for goals (there are a lot of them buried there, let us have a silent moment to all of those good intentions.) For example; meditating the moment I wake up. NOT possible, at least not right now, because I just fall back asleep. Sure I am probably relaxed and maybe even present while I sleep but since I am not aware of it. There is no point.
  3. Goals shouldn’t be there because they make sense to others. I have people around me (mostly family) who think that waking up at 5 is crazy. Why wouldn’t you rest? But I mean I do rest…I just go to sleep earlier. But my point is that you can’t make everyone see your point. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. I have noticed that I am more productive and feel better when I wake up at 5. I don’t know if it is psychological or I am just a morning person, but I don’t even have my afternoon slump when I wake up early.
  4. You won’t succeed every day. That doesn’t mean you should give up. While my post is called changing my life in 365 days that doesn’t mean I will be perfect on all of those days. The only thing I promised is that I will do my best to work on myself for the next year with a commitment. Apart from that, no promises. I have had those days that I have just been meh. Somedays have started well but ended meh. And some the other way around.
  5. Time goes slow and fast at the same time. I made the Change my life in 365 posts on May 12th and now that I started to write this blog post I felt like it was half a year ago and almost like there was no point on working on that “challenge” anymore. Then I checked the date and realized it has been about 1,5 months and that is not that long at all. Yet in that time have had time to work already almost a month at the job I currently work at and also have projects due in a couple of days and it seems I just started them. Time is such a relative concept. I should probably write about that too one day. Anyway, my point is to try to not think about time while trying to make progress in such big things like changing your life. It takes time and effort but even if you fall off the tracks once in a while that isn’t the main point. Getting back on them is the important part.

Hello, my fellow Lifechangers! I hope you like this post and that it helps. If you want to see similar posts please like and follow and I mean I really like comments too… 😉

xoxo

-Alisa

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How to: Confidence

Confidence really depends on how you feel within you. If you are going to try to search for it externally you will never have it totally. Because 5 people will things you are hot af and 5 people will find you ugly so that’s +/- 0. But if you find yourself hot/beautiful/cute/sexy (or all of those) then you have all the power. So what to do?

I have been “battling” with confidence issues for ages. I would be one who wanted acceptance and thus would try to search for it in the wrong places. It is surprising what a couple of well-placed words from the wrong people does to one ego. But what can you do?

  1. Buy a bit of sexy/pretty/cute lingerie. It doesn’t have to be risky with a lot of laze and almost nothing to leave for imagination. It can just be something simple with a little bow. Or anything that makes you feel more confident but still comfortable. (No one walks confidently if there is something riding up into their ass)
  2. Take 10 extra minutes to put yourself together. Whether it is to put a bit of makeup or so something extra with your hair. It is a lot of the little things that will make you feel bomb.com
  3. Buy some simple but cute staple pieces. I bought a black t-shirt and is very simple and even a bit sporty but it fits me well and I can make the outfit look basic with is or if I put some extra bling jewelry I can make it look pretty fancy. If you don’t want to look too dolled up for school you can just have some extra makeup and jewelry in your bag, and you can add it before you go to a cafe or whatever you do after school.  (Maybe a date with a cutie? 😉 )
  4. Make sure your clothes are clean and have no yarn sticking out. Just simple being neat does a lot to your look. White shoes that aren’t white? Bleach them. You can do it at home or if you don’t like bleach internet has a lot of tips how to whiten stuff without bleach.
  5. Organize your life. And this might be a very weird one. How does that tie into anything? Very simply. If you have all in an order you won’t run around like a headless chicken. You will have time to take the extra 10 minutes to do your hair/make up. Or maybe your shoe will break and you will still have time to change your pants to match the other shoes.
  6. Keep a cycle going. Having old good clothes is great but sometimes the fact that you bought something new will boost your confidence. And let’s be honest does that 5-year-old t-shirt that is super soft still look good? Probably not. You can wear it at home or to the gym but buy a new one. Because it will make you feel better. Trust me.
  7. Take time to build confidence that has nothing to do with looks. Find a hobby that you like so you can get better at it. Find something to read or maybe a podcast that makes you feel smarter. Looks are great and I at least won’t pretend that they don’t matter. But they are not all that there is. You might be the prettiest person in the world. But if you feel stupid and you aren’t interested in anything… you most likely won’t feel confident.
  8. Save money to buy that 100-200$ bag. Doing that all the time won’t really do anything. But saving money to buy yourself nice things that would on the daily seem like WAY too much? That will give you a boost. Not only because I am sure that bag is cute af. But also because you saved your hard earned money to treat yourself. And that is always fun.

Confidence makes a huge change in your life. Not only will it make you feel better. But it can be the difference between whether or not you get the job or whether you go on that trip with your friends that might change your life. Confidence makes you feel less scared. And the less useless fear you have in your life the more you get out of it.

As always thank you for reading. Leave comments, they are appreciated.

xoxo

Alisa

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Are you addicted to internet? I am

While researching this topic  I found an article written by Billi Gordon: “How social media is harmful to your brain and relationships”.  (PsychologyToday)

The phrase that stood out the most was  “Right place, wrong brain” What he meant by this, is that our brain isn’t up to date with the new technology. Our brain still lives in the society where we have to be afraid of bears and wolves. Our brain really needs an update, but it seems our brain evolves very slowly, last change has been about 6 000 (Correct me if I am wrong) years ago, and major changes were probably 10 000 years ago if not more.

According to Gordon’s article, there have been negative impacts to our health from overuse of the internet. Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) in our brain, that monitors our social needs, doesn’t see the difference between social behavior online and in real life. This means that we get as much dopamine, the feel-good hormone, from a successful picture post to Instagram as we would if we would have an actual conversation with a person.

This also means if we don’t get “enough” likes our pleasure hormone levels go into deficits. This experience could be compared to being banished from a tribe for our ancestors, as Gordon states. The problem with VTA in regards to social media is that is can’t control its reactions. It is too primitive.

Social media encounters are seen as a threat by our brain, and internet trolls and death threats aren’t helping our brain with that. These experiences are stored in the hippocampus that works as the memory center in our brain.  It then compares what it sees on the outside with the information that it has already obtained. Technically every time we are on social media, we are reinforcing some sort of a version of the reality into our hippocampus, whether it’s negative or positive.

Due to the perceived threat, our Hypothalamic Pituitary Adrenal axis initiates the stress response. The same as in the old times would have made us run from wild animals. The issue with is is that stress in small doses is perfectly normal, healthy even. But stress on the daily, many times a day can lead to elevated blood pressure, which is meant to help us in a fight or flight situation.

Too much stress can lead to cardiovascular diseases, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity plus many other health issues, whether physical or mental. Stress makes us reactive, as we stop thinking logically and think with the animal part of the brain “Survive now, ask questions later” as Gordon put in his article.

It also makes us more awkward in actual social situations, online we are way more comfortable just saying what we think and being ourselves (or assholes sometimes). A YouTube video by Asapscience mentioned 5 ways that social media is changing our brains and behavior. First of all due to the fast dopamine release when we use social media 5-10% of internet users are not fully in control of when they use it. Have you sometimes noticed that you reach for your phone because you swear you heard a bling or it “vibrated”? This phenomenon is called Phantom vibration syndrome and it is fairly new, but the idea of it is terrifying. Can you imagine, that your brain is so addicted to the social media, it will imagine a sound just to get to check it again?

Dopamine releases are so addictive, that actual brain scans reveal that people with drug addiction have similar impairment in their brains as internet addicts.

What else are we all addicted to? Talking about ourselves, in a normal face to face conversation we talk about ourselves 30-40% but online it is up to 80%. And imagine how much dopamine is released when you are celebrated by hundreds of people? Or how horrible it feels if no one likes that one super cute picture of you?

Social media is giving us the same dopamine boosts as love, motivation, and orgasms give. Imagine the generation that would rather just sit on the computer than find love or have the satisfaction of finishing a demanding task. Or that likes to pretend that we achieved something just because the picture of our dog got up to 100 likes (or more, if you are really famous online), oh wait that generation sounds a bit like the current one… oh shit…

What is the harm in being addicted to social media/internet?  Spending hours in front of the computer for work, plus social media? Not going out with real friends because Friends are airing their 6000000th episode? (Or you have to watch all the previous ones) Not being satisfied with anything because it doesn’t happen in 1.5 seconds? All of these things are going to affect your life and how fulfilled you feel in it. I have often felt and still feel like I am unmotivated and “shit” at something because it doesn’t happen fast enough. Or I start looking at social media or my email in the morning and I feel like I don’t even want to get up because that girl is so pretty and I am not and also I have to answer to 5 emails.

Schedule social media and emails in, if you lose people with taking care of yourself? Well, then those people weren’t supposed to follow or be your friends anyway. Adios to them!

It has been a while since I have written, how this post makes up for it a bit. I should be back with full vengeance again. Please tell me what you thought about this blog and what you would like to learn next. Until next time 

– Alisa
Sources:

Social Media Is Harmful to Your Brain and Relationships, Billi Gordon, Ph.D. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/obesely-speaking/201710/social-media-is-harmful-your-brain-and-relationships)

5 Crazy ways Social Media is changing your brain right now, AsapScience, Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HffWFd_6bJ0

Is the human brain still evolving?

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brain-evolution1.htm

 

 

 

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