Lessons in life, Personal development

Attention is the second most lethal drug in the world

I am honestly being a bit too much of a drama queen with the title (so yes it was kind of click bait…sorry) But please read this before going. This can really be beneficial for you and potentially your friends (so please share 😉 )

Let us start with some facts. According to WHO (world health organization) each year there is 11.5 people out of 100000 that commit suicide. Meaning about every 40 seconds. There is 86400 seconds a day. Divide that by 40 makes it 2160 deaths A DAY…by their own hand. So why is this so alarming… apart for the obvious…

While death is something very natural and a healthy part of life… imagine if we all just lived forever… that would be hell on earth. But the alarming fact is that suicide has become way more prevalent in our culture. Between the years 2000 and 2016 there has been a 30% raise in suicide related deaths. 50% raise in the suicide deaths of women. In USA it is the 10th leading cause of death. This data is according to APA (American Psychological Association)

As mentioned in WHO’s page it is good to keep in mind that all of these numbers are an evaluation of the situation and due to the complexity of suicide and the lack of evidence to make sure that correlation = causation, we must be careful of taking this all as 100% truth (just like with everything else) and this applies to any recourse I use.

So what is my point of pointing out the amount of suicides and what the hell does it have to do with attention? Do I think people just are depressed for sake of attention? Do I think that this all could be preventable by giving said attention? NO….. Depression and other mental illnesses are horrible and I cannot imagine living with one. And I happen to be EXTREMELY lucky to not have thoughts of committing suicide. I recognize that and I am not trying to lessen the pain of having such an illness… BUT

The reason I do talk about it being due to the new drug called attention. With social media all of our lives are plastered all over the internet. All of our mistakes, stupid drunk choices etc. It is all over there. And other people, comment, ridicule and sometimes are right vicious. Imagine all of our starts who have committed suicide by overdosing (or accidental overdosing) they in the end did that because they were trying to escape. And this is what I am talking about.

Today we need to make the most outrageous trick to get views on YouTube; like the tide-pod challenge… like what? Or kissing random girls, or showing boobs or what ever it is. The more shock value the better. I mean honestly, imagine if someone would have been able to grow their boobs to a 38KKK (that is the biggest size there is currently in Texas… I sure as hell hope the code is accidental) Anyway imagine someone trying to run away from a tiger with them…. Hmm…? And ofc this has nothing to do with attention and shock value… right? But I digress. (Woman’s Boobs are killing her)

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

So does this have any correlation/causation with suicide and if so how?. Well in my views and this is with minimal research. Between 2000 and 2016 there was an uproar with social media. And I find it hard to believe that 30% raise during those years is purely a coincidence.

We are addicted to likes and views. (Yes me to… hello I’m a blogger) The more we fuck up the better our view count gets. We could get sponsored by being dicks and extremely attention seeking. We get a generation that is payed for being idiots. And let us not get on the high horse here. All generations had their dicks. And all generations will have their dicks. However they were never this visible. They were never rewarded with attention from millions of people and by million bucks.

Like these people or not. This causes pressure on this generation like no other. We have millions of opportunities to make money. Some smart, some not so much. Either way our current generation is under inspection like never before.

I argue that fighting for the 5 seconds of fame. And after achieving it, fighting to be seen as anything else, is what is so detrimental for the people. Which leads to people killing themselves when they either get attention for the wrong reason e.g. because they kissed someone they shouldn’t have or because they can’t get forwards because they will always be seen as someone who “fucked up” e.g. Logan Paul. I honestly hope that he won’t feel the need to end it all due to all the negative media he get’s right now/has gotten in the past. ( I am not a fan of his, but honestly the things people say (including the death threats) is disturbing. Since when was it ok to do that?

Yes there will always be suicide. And yes we will always see attention seeking. It is one of the greatest ways to attract a mate. Raise your hands if someone remembers being hit on by someone who made a fool of themselves while doing so? However. Today it seems everything is twisted. We have a smart youth. No matter what we think of their antics. They are smart, but the outlet we have isn’t under control. There is no rehab for attention seeking. And many of us don’t even see that we might need it.

I could easily say that I don’t care about attention. But obviously I do. I write this blog. And currently this a pretty small blog. What will happen when and if it grows? I don’t know. Hopefully I won’t make it about jumping off roofs for the amusement of my fan-base. And I hope that what I talk about (Personal development + social issues) will help people grow and move forward instead of trying to become internet sensations.

Please comment and let’s start a discussion! As someone who is part of the generation, that almost kills themselves for views and potentially kills themselves because of said views, I find this topic important. To anyone who is depressed and/or sees as death being the only solution, please seek help. From family or a professional. I know this is cliche but there is always another way.

With love, Alisa

P.S. Being an influence, YouTuber, Instagram model etc. are perfectly fine jobs to have. (Yes I personally see them as jobs, if we would know how much time and effort goes into the content (often not always) we wouldn’t question it) However don’t forget that they aren’t the only cool jobs to have nor are they always as cool as what we think.

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Personal development

Boredom leads to death

Paint this picture in your mind. You are just sitting around a campfire and you are listening to the chirping of the evening birds, you hear the crickets singing and the fire crackling? Now, most of you will be like that sounds like a calm, romantic and nice environment to be in. And I agree with it 100%. However, if you would be there with your phone, a possibility to watch a film even read a book, would you despite all those distractions concentrate on nature and the moment? I would bet on no. And calm your horses, I know you would want to say that you would enjoy the moment. I know you would want to say you are strong enough to ignore the automatic curiosity your brain has to check that bling on your phone. But you (probably)wouldn’t and nor would I (unless I really put my mind to it)

Would you just sit and listen to a fire crackling and birds chirping?

The reason I am talking about this is that in society today it is more appreciated that you react to that bing and answer the email right away. It is cool to have an Instagram account and post every 5 minutes. And since this is the norm, our brain, that is formed so that we are easily bored, to adapt the fastest, now is bored with those things that make us healthier.

It has been proven by various studies that even just a little walk in nature will lower your stress. For one of the most recent examples science daily has posted a report 6th of July 2018. The report is based on gathered evidence from over 140 studies with more 290 million people included.  “The report reveals that expose to greenspace, reduces the risk of type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, premature death, preterm birth, stress, and high blood pressure” To read in more, visit here: ScienceDaily. So, what happens when we are bored with the most natural aspects of life?  When we must have some kind of noise on the daily? To have music on when you get dressed, take your phone with you to the bathroom, because you are too bored to take a fucking shit without having something to check all the time. What does this lead to?

Death.

I don’t mean the literal kind where you raise the stairs to say good day to St. Peter or where the lights are turned off or whatever you believe is death. Though it leads to it indirectly. But what I mean is the death where you don’t enjoy life, being depressed or just existing without purpose. Isn’t it disturbing that we see breathing unimportant? Sure, we will think about it if we can’t take a breath. But what about enjoying breathing during a crisp winter morning or the smell of petrichor; the sent right after the rain.  Instead of going through the emotions about your family member passing away you feel you owe to tell it to your followers. And instead of those followers living and feeling their own lives they feel they have the right to demand of you to tell your private lives for thousands of people just because they are bored with their own lives. Bored with the silence. Bored of not having attention from others.


Boredom is simply the absence of an interesting perspective. 

Brandon A. Trean

If day in and day out your brain is used to watching constantly new videos, pictures, and memes or whatever else you come up with. It gets used to it. The brain becomes bored with the constant similarity of listening to birds or the wind in the trees or whatever else because it becomes too “boring”. The thing is that in the past having a concentration that is broken fast by a twig breaking under an animal’s foot etc. But even then, people were able to stay focused and do “boring” things all the time. Have you ever gone berry gathering? That is boring and hard, but you had to do it to have food. So how was it that people then were able to do it but now it is way too difficult to even have silence in the room for 5 minutes? Or not have content to feed on?

As I am not a health professional I would suggest you do an honest check with yourself and see a doctor if you feel like you are addicted to your phone/Internet. There are a lot of health issues linked to internet addiction, like being more depressed, more anxious and even aggressive. And on top of this there are many ways of being addicted online, being a shopaholic, feeling the constant need to be social; with the fear, of missing out if you don’t check Facebook.

If you were already calming yourself up thinking that you aren’t addicted because you would never be interested in something as stupid as Facebook, wait up. I will disrupt your calm. If you are constantly researching things online, watching to educational videos that can be an addiction as well, and since it is technically productive it feels like it can’t be a bad thing. But just like you can be addicted to going to the gym in an unhealthy manner or feeling you must restrict eating even after you’ve lost weight already, you can be addicted to research. To read more about this addiction visit: Mentalhealthamerica


Photo by Daniel Korpai on Unsplash

You must retrain your brain to be ok with the silence. To concentrate on one thing for hours. The issue is that if you want to develop yourself you must become comfortable with what today we see as boring. You might need to learn a presentation so by heart that even if someone interrupts it you will be able to answer the question and continue. You might be a dancer and need to train for hours so you finally master something. Or you might have forgotten that those things you are bored with now, used to fill you with joy. The calm romantic evening around a campfire. The walking in the forest, without the phone or the camera without any company. Just you.

Even for the basic day to day life. You must learn to make sure your brain is ok with silence. If going to nature is so healthy for us, but we feel bored doing it, we won’t go. And that will cause huge risks for us. Not only with considering the stress factor but also fitness and getting cleaner air.

One of my biggest fears is to wake up one day and not want to do anything but lay in bed and scroll Instagram. To find it too difficult to get up to get out for a walk. To hate doing the basic things to such an extent I would rather be on the phone watching others live their lives while I waste away and die. Boredom, trying to get a quick fix of whatever instant gratification you have chosen can lead to actual premature death. Whether this is due to overeating and not moving or becoming depressed enough due to self-comparison you end up killing yourself. Or it can be less dramatic at this moment, it could just mean wasting your life away and regretting it on your death bed. And that freaks the crap out of me. Living 80+ years (if I get that far) and regretting my life.

What is your biggest fear? What is it that you spend the most time doing online? So much so that it ends up affecting how much actual work you get done in a day? If you feel like you need help please seek help. Sometimes, however, we can figure these things on our own, if we see the issues early enough. Then we must work hard on disrupting out patterns. So, I challenge all of you who spend way too much time online, to go and do 5 push ups every time you feel like reaching for your phone/computers or if you realize you are scrolling mindlessly already. Once 5 push-ups get too easy (or if it is easy already) push yourself further. We can change our lives and make it interesting putting some effort into things we do. And pushing ourselves to enjoy the silence and appreciate it as well will help enjoy our lives.

One of my biggest goals is to become proud of myself and of what I’ve been able to achieve by pushing myself. Therefore personal development and learning about successful people has become so addicting for me. I shouldn’t confuse inspiration for action. Therefore I write these posts, and this is why especially today’s topic was so important for me. What is your biggest current goal? And what is the one thing that is standing in your way, regarding your habits/addictions?

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to comment below, let’s have a conversation! 🙂