Lessons in life

More questions less answers

We go to school, we learn daily new things. We answer thousands of questions. We read for exams that ask us factual questions. Questions we can answer with a date, a vocabulary word, or explaining chain of events in a way or another.  And that is great. It is important to learn how to answer straight forward questions with straight answers. But is that enough?

I do not think so. I believe that it would be so very important for people to analyse more philosophical questions. Questions that like of “What makes you happy, in day to day life?”. Or ” What do you think the world would need to make it a better place?” And these are hard questions. And chances are if you as this from a 7 year old the answer will be candy or more toys, or maybe nowadays it’d be WI-FI. But it doesn’t hurt to ask those things. Because even if one of 10 students actually gives something worthy of using in our day to day life, isn’t worth a shot? And sure, it is possible that no one else would get any value out of their answers. But it would make the students think. Like oh yeah, going on a walk with my dog makes me  happy, or hmmm my moms apple pie is to die for. And isn’t that just as important to teach about or if not teach make them think about it?

And this thinking about bigger questions could be added to actual subjects as well. For example in History. “What little things in this chain of events could have changed everything?” And then people would have to analyse History deeper, and maybe actually understand that history is not just dates and chains of events. It is people, feelings, pains and joys. And I believe in order to actually know history, you must understand the people the thoughts and actions not just the dates and names.

What I am trying to say here is that factual questions are great, but they do not do much on their own. We people question everything. And in order to remember somethings we have to be able to empathise with the situation. The feelings and thoughts we have are like the bones that add the meat to; which is the dates and names that otherwise mean nothing to us. That way we can somehow make these situations, questions and ideas important to us, and maybe even remember them better. For example in maths; “What should your monthly pay be in order to pay for rent that is X for water and electricity that is Y and for other stuff that is Z, remember to add taxes to your payments.”

What do you guys think, should we be asking more complex, feeling induced questions at school as well as in our personal life?

As always thanks for reading

-Alisa

Lessons in life

Are all ideas used? So what if they are?

 


Are all ideas used? I guess, you could say so, for all the words that come one of our mouths, all the ones we write have been written, many times over. But the way you connect a word with another, a sound to another. The way you describe a scene in a book, may be totally, new, at least to someone. And if it isn’t new, maybe this time the words stuck to the reader, something that the first time didn’t happen.

Of course you will hear people say that you are a copy cat; sneaky little fraud! But do you really write or create anything for those negative minds? Or do maybe write, paint or do art or what ever for you? Or maybe a selected few who chose to read and be positive about you?

I am not telling you to go and copy paste Shakespeare’s sonnet’s and say they are your own, nor do I encourage you to take a photo of a painting and repainting it stroke for stoke, for that, in my mind is stealing, of the worse kind. It isn’t stealing what someone has but also what someone is, and a true artist, will always understand it, weather his/her art is presented in a museum, a blog or on a stage.

Every word has been used, maybe every idea has been used. But there are ways of rearranging words and ideas to look exactly like you. It has yet not become a sin to agree on someones thought process, nor is it a sin to pour your soul out on the piece of paper, what ever the form may be.

So, please do not hide away the way you write, the way you think or the way you see. Say it all in your own voice, Show it all with your own hands, know it all in your mind, and you at least will have a peace of mind, that no matter what someone calls you, you aren’t a copy cap, you aren’t a sneaky little fraud, you are just you, who agreed on what 1000 other people have said before you and will say after you. And that doesn’t take away from you being you.


Soooo, I regard as myself as a writer, as a poet, as a blogger and as an artist (to name a few points) I love to write and experiment and oh I love love love poetry. I am not exactly the most advanced, nor have I read that much BUT I love writing it. For me it is much much easier than to write normally, but anyway, back to the topic at hand.

As an artist, writer blogger, hopefully future entrepreneur I realize that the ideas I have, aren’t unique to me. They have been said, done, expressed and though before. I might just be one of the many broken records (Personal development 101: remember to drink water, sleep 8 hours a night etc. etc.) But I do my best to write in my own style.

I try to be quirky and I try to be a little bit sarcastic and a lot realistic. I do not want to sound like a nanny, but like a boss as b*****. But I am rambling again, my point is; Even if you aren’t sure that your idea is unique, write it, paint it, make it.

Do not shy away behind other artists, there is always space for more of us. This is a community that we get to share our passion, our art. And as long as you know that you didn’t copy, then that is great.

If thought someone does point at you and say copy cat and even shows you why they say so. You might want to listen, sometimes they might be right. You didn’t do it on purpose I am sure. But she was such a great writer you had  to incorporate that style to your writing, but in the process of being inspired by someone you lost you own voice. That happens, oh believe me that happens to the best of people. Then you thank the person who pointed it out and you work on making sure that your own voice isn’t lost and that you can still be unique, even if someone affected you deeply with their art.

Remember in order to find your voice, you have to use it and get used to it, until others get used to it too, and when ever someone sees/hears your work, they can state a name within seconds.

Inspiration for this post came from these sources:

  1. My insecurity as a writer
  2. Elizabeth Gilbert- In her interview on Marie Forleo (love that channel, check her out on youtube, she interview such inspiring people)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyUYa-BnjU8

-Alisa

Goals

What does your success look like?

Look I know that the idea of having millions a swimming pool and thirty Gucci bags seems appealing but is that what your success really looks like? There are so many different ways to be successfully.

When I was younger I felt like success was becoming a doctor or a lawyer and having loads of money and obviously traveling like crazy and all that jazz. And sure traveling still appeals to me BUT, now I want my success to be more about how I feel rather than what I have.

I am not saying that money doesn’t appeal to me, because of course it does. And I would love to one day be able to do things that I can’t right now because I feel like I do not have enough money. But the thing is, no matter how much money you have, if you aren’t at peace within you, you will never be happy.

But you have to figure out what your success feels like, not just how it looks like. Because as we all know, not everything is as it seems.

Do you want to be able to help a lot of people? Do you want people to recognize you? Do you want to be a mysterious  person with an amazing talent but no-one knows your real name? Maybe your success is having 50 puppies, maybe its having 5 kids in a house near a beach and you can write your blog every other day. Who knows. But you should figure out, what will make you actually happy.

Some questions to ask yourself while thinking about this:

  1. Will having X make me want to wake up early in the morning to get my day started?
  2. What am I ready to give up in order to feel like that?
  3. Do I want it out of jealousy/ because it looks nice or because it will make me happy?
  4. Do I want this or does someone else want  this for me?

Good luck on your journey!

xoxo,

The Writer

 

Books, Goals

How to spend your free time

Last time I mentioned we shouldn’t rush all the time. That it is okay to just do one thing at a time and actually have pauses. But what to do when you want to do something semi smart and not just sit and what TV, game etc. Which is totally okay as well. Once in a while. What smart is there to do and why do something semi productive during your rest time?

  1. Go for a walk: Going for a walk is going to kill a lot of birds with one stone. You get exercise, that in turn will make your brain work better and you will be less stressed.
  2. Read a book, blog post/listen to a podcast that isn’t just about some fiction/love etc. Reading, no matter what you are reading is good for your cognitive health but reading self-help or something similar will not only activate your brain but might give you ideas to your life. Same goes with listening to a podcast. Plus you can actually do something else like clean up at the same time.
  3. Watch a documentary. Watching something smart can just boost your knowledge and broaden your life views and that is always a good thing. Who knows when someone will ask you who was the third roman emperor.  ( It was Julius Cesar by the way https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_emperors#Emperors_after_395)
  4. Talk to a mentor. It doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a brother or mother or someone online who you just met. But talking to someone who inspires you and makes you excited to be better and to work harder can never be a bad thing. This is especially helpful when you are just starting out you personal development journey.  If you have difficulties there  will always be someone, somewhere willing to help and guide you.

Here are some tips that I like to use. I do not always do this and trust me I waste way too much time just on youtube looking at productivity tips. But I try my best to improve with becoming more active mentally and these tips help me at least.

Good luck and until next time,

xoxo,

The Writer

Goals, Lessons in life

There are no shortcuts

We are impatient beings. We want it all, fame, money, success, a sexy body, and happiness. The problem with that? Very small percentage of people are willing to work for those things. Over time as everything becomes easy and fast, people have started searching for shortcuts not only on computers (ctrl+alt+del) but also in real life. The problem is that life isn’t about a code 1011001101 like a computer is. Life is more complicated than that. And the sad and brutal truth is, that life has no short cuts.

I find it surprising that people do not know this. We as people have always had ways to improve and make our life easier. During the stone age, we would make weapons to make hunting easier and we also invented fire. But even then we couldn’t invent something to stop us from running after our pray. This is the case still today. We can have mechanical pens, computer, I Pad’s and phones, but we still have to put our brain on as well to actually be able to do things. Same goes to achieving fitness goals. We have weights and machines to help us exercise, but you still need to do it. You still need to eat healthy foods to get the body you want.

So, no matter what there are no short cuts. I just don’t see where the problem with this is. Why should there be an easy way out? I mean, we people are designed so that we need a certain level of challenge in order to feel satisfied when we achieve the goal. I mean no one who is 20+ is going to be all pumped up because they were able to draw a stick figure, that is because there was nothing to overcome, no reason to feel very proud.

What we consider a challenge is different for everyone and that should be something that puts you down. You cannot look at a YouTuber making six figures $$$ and expect to be in the same situation after only a week or two of making the videos. Or a blogger who just started and assume you will have a huge number of followers. It takes time, work, commitment, and patience. And even then, maybe you aren’t in your niche, maybe you won’t achieve what you assumed you would. That is fine too. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Changing goals doesn’t equal failure, it means growing and learning new things about yourself, but do not change your goals just because something is too hard. If you really want it, you will push through the hard stuff.

I have just a few tips for you that you may find helpful to stay on track with your goals. These aren’t shortcuts, so stop hoping. These are things that will help you stop feeling like you need shortcuts. So, let’s see what I’ve got for you.

  1. Figure out where you are right now and where you want to be in the future. Are you in the very beginning of achieving your goal or are you half way? Why this is important? This will give you a chance to look at your goal within a period. If you are just starting out you can bet your bottom dollar that you will have to work hard and for longer. If you are about half way through you can assume that it might take 3 months instead of the six months. Do not ever punish yourself for taking time. No proper life goal was EVER achieved within minutes. It takes time, and there is no shame in that.

 

  1. Figure out a realistic time frame for your goal. This goes with the first tip. If you want to lose a huge amount of weight it will take more time than if you want to lose only about a couple of pounds. If you have never gone to the gym you will have to put more effort, or different kind of effort into achieving your fitness goals that someone who has been going for a year or more. Do not give yourself too much time, though. There is this thing called Parkinson’s law, that essentially means that the task you have to do will take exactly the time you give it. If you give yourself 3 months to write an essay, that is how long it will take, but if you give three days, it will work out that way too. (To read about it more check out Parkinson’s law on Wikipedia for example, I will leave a link down below). This is not to say that you can force yourself to get a six pack within 3 days, you still have to be realistic with every task.

 

 

  1. Have role models, not people you compare yourself to. You cannot look at a Victoria Secret model and assume you should look like them automatically. Even with hard work, you might NEVER look like them, mostly because most of them do not eat properly and are photoshopped but also because you aren’t them. You have a different body and you have different genes and that is ok. That’s not to say you can’t look up to them or whoever you look up to. Usually, I suggest looking up to people’s habits, not their looks because habits are actually something you can copy. But do please remember that sometimes things that work for someone don’t for you and you need to put your health and comfort before any blind hero worship. Keep that brain turned on.

 

  1. Track you progress. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, but each week look back and see what you have done to achieve or help achieve your goal (remember baby steps, don’t put yourself down.) Write down the things that you did good, and maybe the things you could have done better. Not for beating yourself over them, but to work on those things later on. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, your tracking could look something like, ate 3 healthy meals per day, slipped up on Sunday. Then think why you slipped up? Did you feel a certain way, or was there peer pressure? Whatever it is written the reason down too, and how you are going to work on that later. For example, telling your friends that you need their support with this because it is close to your heart. Or if it was your own fault write that you won’t go to the store when you are hungry because then you buy everything.

 

  1. Slipping from your goal doesn’t mean you failed it. I know there will be a lot of people saying that it takes 21 or 60 days to achieve a goal, or whatever. But that doesn’t mean that if you slipped up on day 19 that you can’t continue working. It doesn’t mean that whole process was pointless. It just means that you learned what not to do. I think personally that achieving goals isn’t so much about the days that it takes but the mindset you have. It isn’t like if you want to become fit that after the 21st day it no longer takes effort? You still have to work hard. What matters is your mind. It takes some time to teach your mind to forget a certain pattern and learn a new one, and it doesn’t matter how many days it takes because I believe all of us are different. With big goals like success, fitness, learning and health there isn’t really an end line. Of course, you can make a timeline how long you assume you will achieve a mini goal within the big goal, but after you have to continue pushing. So if you one day actually did something that you weren’t supposed to, don’t give up, just continue where you left off.

Parkinson’s Law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson’s_law

That is all I have for now. There are a lot of other tips and most of what I have said has been said before, but I added my own little twist. If you have comments or questions please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you very much and see you in my next post.

-The Writer

 

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