happy

How to: Feelings

We are told daily not to get unhappy and not to be stressed and don’t feel anything that might seem a bit negative. God forbid that someone gets angry for being punched in the face. I am not here to tell you that you should wallow in self-pity and mope around. What I am saying to you is that you might as well “ride” out these feelings.

Feeling angry? It isn’t an issue if you don’t pour gasoline into it. Ignoring the feeling of anger is often like gasoline. It might not work in the same sense as actual gasoline where you combust right away. But you ignoring the feeling for a long time will make it build up and then, later on, you will explode. A loved one that said something that you hated? Tell them about it right away. No one needs you to play martyr and just “turn the other cheek”. Not in this case.

Tell them that you didn’t like it. Because if you let that hurt/anger sit it will explode later when they do a fifth thing that you don’t like. And you might say something you regret. They might not know why your reaction is as big as it is. Also, girls, let’s not play the “ If you don’t get why I am angry I am not telling you”  game. That is so not cool. Unless it’s like the 10th anniversary or your birthday that they really should know by now. Otherwise just say it straight.

If you feel sad and want to cry. Just do that. If anyone judges you let them. In today’s age, we are told to repress our feelings. That will lead to either exploding later on or maybe not being able to open up at all. Then we wonder why we feel depressed, but it really isn’t a wonder if we keep everything bottled up.

It’s the same with stress. You must learn to manage stress that is true. Meditation, writing down the reasons why you are stressed and going out for a walk or with friends are some ways to manage stress. But telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel stressed and why am I stressed isn’t. Trying to force is out of your body will only make it worse. No one can have a good meditation if the only thought in your mind is “I can’t stress” on a loop.

On the flip side, you should also freely feel the good and happy feelings. Not in a cocky bitchy way. Not is someone is having a bad day and you go to them and say “oh no, but oh well I am having a great day”. But if you are proud of achieving something then just say so. If not to anyone else then to yourself. Or maybe write about it in your journal. While being cocky and narcissistic is something that everyone should avoid being, too much of modesty will make others discredit you as well.

If someone says you have written something well, thank them and maybe joke slightly like “Oh you noticed it too huh” But never just outright diss your work “Oh no, its absolute garbage, I’m sure a 5-year-old could have done it”  It might get you some sympathetic comments at first but later on people will just stop complimenting you and may even start to think the same things. Because if you can’t be proud of that work, why should they be impressed with it?

Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated as always and please follow. If you feel someone needs this blog post please share. Sharing is after all caring.

xoxo

Alisa

Changes changes changes

So, I have not been a bit over 2 months in exchange and I only have one month until exams (yes it is a short exchange, but I’ll have a couple of months to just enjoy the local life after exams 😉 )

While I have been here, I have been slacking off the blog, for that I am sorry. It has to do with the changes I am going through here and I feel like I want to change my blog up (again).

I feel I have been writing a lot of my opinions and views and not many things that would teach not only you but also me, while I research the subject. So from now on, that is my goal. To research new things, relating to health, wealth and overall life, and bring it to you in a concise little blog post. (Sometimes might not be that little.)

In order to make all those changes, I want to make sure that my blog is up to date and I have planned a couple of posts in advance so I always have something to post, even if I am very busy doing something. Therefore, please excuse me while the blog is under construction. I will keep all of my old posts, I still think they have a lot of insight and I also like having something I can look at and see how far I have come.

If you have something certain you would like to learn about, maybe tips for me on how to write better or anything that comes to mind, please put it in the comments. As always feedback is very appreciated.

xoxo

Alisa

10 simple things I do for positivity boost

Negativity is a productivity/inspiration killer. But what to do when you are in the cycle? I mean it’s not like we can just buy a ticket to Bora Bora right now and leave. I, at least have school, no money and other obligations. Can’t just up and leave. What to do then, to make your day brighter in a simple way? Here are ten things that work for me, with a bit of an explanation if you feel like trying them out as well.

  1. Cleaning. This isn’t something that makes me happy while I do it (Unless I am procrastinating doing an essay or reading for an exam). But I feel better after it. I can concentrate better and I feel good about myself. Happy that I could be productive. As a side note. Cleaning doesn’t mean the whole house. Just washing the dishes. Or putting my clothes away etc. Can sometimes be enough to clear my mind and make me feel better.
  2. Going on a walk. Fresh air (cold in Finland right no) always wakes me up. Even if the weather isn’t the best it makes a world of a difference for me. I always come back with more energy and a lot more awake. Don’t over do it. 15-30 minutes can do wonders.
  3. Taking a shower. A warm shower, washing away the stress and negativity. Smelling clean and fresh. It is almost like I wash away the believe that I can’t do something. If you haven’t done this before let me suggest you a exercise called shower meditation. Imagine that the water that cascades over you washes away the bad things. It doesn’t matter what it really is. Stress, bad memories, negativity about others or yourself. Just imagine you are cleaning all that junk away.  Check for another shower meditation idea here:  https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-26626/heres-a-5minute-meditation-you-can-do-in-the-shower.html
  4. Meditation in general. Just five minutes pause. Breathing and being. Trying not to think about anything, or if you think about something (which is more than common) try to make it something positive. And after the thought “passes” go back to thinking about you breathing. I have a post about meditation here. 
  5. Reading (Audio books work as well). Reading gives you a chance to be ANYWHERE you want to be. If you want the book to be about dragons, you will find it. If you feel like jumping into a world of magic and excitement… Harry Potter here I come. Or it can be a book on something you want to learn or that just interests you. I myself prefer reading books that are not about the reality or if they are, it has to have a twist. Because when I read to relax I want it to have nothing to do with the world that is causing me to stress/be negative in the first place.
  6. Make a cup of tea/coffee. This personally helps me even if I am doing some school work while I drink it. Making the tea/coffee gives me exactly the small pause I need to get my head back on my shoulders. And having that cup of a hot beverage just makes me feel somehow very business like and efficient. Like I am in a office so productive that I don’t even have time for a coffee break.  I know it might seem a bit silly but that idea helps me often if I’m stuck.
  7. Stretch. Again gives you a pause and it is good for your joints and body in general. And you also must admit that when you stretch and you reach that sweet spot ( I am sure you know what I mean) it is very satisfying.
  8. Dance like like no one is watching (cos they aren’t you are in your room alone.) Put a silly song on for example Girls just want to have fun by Cyndi Or if you want something more masculine(Hehehe) YMCA. Seriously tho I don’t care what songs  you like or want to dance to. It shouldn’t matter as long as you are having fun. Heck I have danced to AQUA- Barbie Girl. It’s all about the fun.
  9. Sleep/power nap. Look working hard is good. Studying for them A* is great. But not at the expense of your health. Sleep is such easy way to get back on track. And imagine. One bad nigh can effect you for 4 days. So think twice before pulling an all nighter.
  10. Write/draw/paint. Write the good stuff, the bad stuff, just because you enjoy writing and any other reason in between. Draw or paint circles, do something creative with your hands while your brain is almost turned off. This just gives you time to process things and not over analyse and makes you free to relax. Just don’t make this about some kind of goal of writing a book this year or to paint a master piece. This thing is just for you. As an outlet.

Thanks again for reading. Sorry if this post got a bit longer than usually. Hope you guys find it still interesting and helpful. Tell in the comments below what helps you.

-Alisa

How to overcome overwhelm (or not get there at all)

Here we are again. The fall is upon us and the real life slaps us in the face an angry ex. The summer was so fun, but now we are back to the reality of everything. School started, or a new project at work. On top of that you have to do a billion of other things. Go to yoga, update blog, and with work or school (or worse yet both) you have more than just one obligation. And now you wake up at night with a feeling of a constrictor cobra squeezing your insides. Yay!

But what if we don’t have to feel overwhelmed? How to make sure, that you can enjoy almost every-single task you do, and not feel like it is sucking out the juices of life from within your soul?

First make sure you know that this isn’t something more serious like a burnout. If your overwhelm has already jumped over the edge and became a burnout I would highly suggest you check out my post about relaxing, why we should and how to do it. The link is here: https://changedlife365.net/2017/06/03/how-to-relax-and-why/

Now to the topic at hand

  1. Figure out why are you feeling like all the walls are falling on you? List all of the things you are “supposed” to do. Now from that list see if there is anything you can disregard. Do not take tasks on your plate that will make your energy bank get depleted. If you have extra things you just can’t do, then make sure you organize it so that you don’t offend anyone. If it is already promised, make a mental note not to promise things that make you feel like shit. As a side note, do not take away those things that bring you happiness in the long run or are there for your health. So, I think yoga should stay. But proofreading your friends essay for the next day, when you still have to write yours… well that can go.
  2. Now that your list looks more realistic. (Hopefully) figure out what the task monster is. A task monster is one task that seems so big and time consuming you feel like someone punched you in the gut right after reading that task. Now think of ways to make it smaller; more manageable. Make an action plan. All the tasks that are bigger than just 15 minutes of work, can be made into bite sized prices. You don’t eat a full pizza in one bite, so why should you do a huge project/essay that way?
  3. Make sure you haven’t got too much to do on one day. Make a to-do list that you know you can complete. Prioritize. If you have an essay in two days and a project in three weeks you could still work on both but definitely the essay is a priority. Even if the project is supper important. I think a smart to-do list would be: Finnish essay, do project for 30 minutes, activity you like. Or something similar.
  4. Do not do everything in one sitting. No matter who you are, people don’t concentrate well for more than 45 minutes and several studies show that even less. So don’t just sit on your butt for hours on end. Take pauses. But make them count. I can make a post about this later in detail. But if you sit in the same space with the same computer and that vacant look in your eyes, after your pause you won’t feel rejuvenated. Do anything at all but not computer or phone. Make that pause count. Stretch, meditate, visualize your dream life.
  5. Do not beat yourself over things not always being 100% perfect. Chances are that they never are. You can get an A+ on a paper and still have a couple comma mistakes. It isn’t the end. Done is better than perfect. And with every mistake you learn. So don’t beat yourself up. Make sure that every task you do is the  best that you can give at the moment, and then be proud you completed it.
  6. After you have finished the things you had time for that day. Stop. Do not do an all nighter. Do not sit for hours just to get that list less long. You will hate yourself next day and feel more overwhelmed. Make sure your evening has some time for yourself. Take a long shower. Read a book you love. Re-charge for tomorrow. You may wake up a bit earlier if you feel you need the extra time. But do not forget to take care of yourself. Sleep and food and exercise, meditation all of that is like fuel to a car. You can’t disregard it no matter how you have to get from place A to B.
  7. In order to not get overwhelmed or god forbid burnout, have one day a week with at least one afternoon just for you. It can be going out with friends. Reading a book. Making a bath. Going for a longer relaxed gym session (not the squat and go type) doing your nails or anything that will make you feel like yourself.
  8. I think this might be the most important. Do not let your negativity and self pity take you to the path of inflating the issue to be more big than it is. You can’t just not do the things you are obligated to do. So just sitting and crying for days over how unlucky you are and how life isn’t fair won’t help. I mean crying a bit can be helpful, to let out the feeling of frustration but then you have to wipe your face and get to business. No one else will do your work for you. So remember to make your health a priority but do not make it an excuse why you can’t do things.

I just had this feeling of overwhelm and just self pity to be honest. Felt like no matter what I did I was banging my head against the wall. That is why I wrote this post. I hope it helped and I hope everyone will feel energized and productive this fall.

A lot of inspiration for this post I got from this video, it is great, check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDixLnjgRrw

As always, thanks for reading

-Alisa

Self love for 2017

Daily we hear of how we are supposed to look like. I mean we are trying to get into the “everyone is beautiful” mentality and I think it’s great BUT I don’t think it is enough for the media to be telling us these things. I quite frankly do not like that we are all the time told that it is media’s fault that we feel that we aren’t beautiful enough.  I don’t think we can blame someone else for how we feel inside. If we are sure of who we are and we love ourselves the way we are, no matter what someone says we won’t start changing for their “personal preference”.

And let’s be brutally honest here, who is actually buying the gossip about who got implants and where and who is the prettiest woman on the planet in 2016.

We are the ones who buy magazines or follow articles about the new celebrities and their butt implants or botox or something of the sort.

Today those models who still work for the mainstream model industry could just all say no to the way they are treated, told not to eat or photoshopped to look like alien gods and goddesses. We have a lot of power if we unite our forces, but it is scary and sometimes seems impossible, but I personally think we make it seem impossible because it is easier to pretend that we can’t affect things.

Now I am a young woman from Finland and I feel like the pressure here to look “perfect” isn’t as bad as in warmer countries. We kinda have to look like penguins with all of those layers of clothes we wear during the cold season. (About 9 months out of the year). But even I have had my issues with how I look. Comments of you look ugly, you are too thin etc. from people who you are close with isn’t always easy to hear. Especially when you logically know that there is really nothing wrong with you.

But what if we, me and you and everyone just say fuck you to media. I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge that someone looks pretty. What I am saying that we don’t let that standard of pretty define us. I will never look like some supermodel. Not only do I like pizza too much, I just don’t have the same proportions to become one. And that is fine. I will also never look like Kim Kardashian, mostly because I do not have such money, but also because we have different parents and genetically will never be able to look the same.

So what we really should be doing is just realizing that we are beautiful ourselves. I for example love the fact that I have green eyes. I have a nice lithe body. I am not in anyway fit, but I am working on it. For health reasons not to gain bikini body.

So let’s all make this year about loving ourselves the way we are. Fuck the media. Fuck how everyone one else looks ( not in a disrespectful way to all of the beautiful people in world). 2017- The year or self love.

Sincerely,

The Writer

 

Happy Fathers day


dad


Today the 13th of November we (at least in Finland) celebrate Fathers Day. In this post I want to tell all the fathers in the world a very happy and beautiful fathers day. I want to say good luck to all those who will soon become fathers 😀 You will need it!

I appreciate every single one of you fathers who have worked hard to open your heart to the little being that is your child. Thank you for picking us kids up when we fall. Thank you for being over protective. Thank you for being there for us even we sometimes do not realize that you really are here.

I want to tell all those fathers who are scared of being a dad; Don’t worry. You will mess up, there is no doubt about it!  The most important part is not to be perfect, the most important thing is to be there for us. It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 20. Just be there and give your love. Learn from your mistakes and give your all. In the end that is all that matters.


With a lot of Love,

The Writer