I have written a blog post about this a while ago. But I feel that this is so important that I want to do it again. And hopefully I add even more ideas and value to you guys 🙂
- Write about the perfect life in your eyes. How would you feel about yourself. What would you do. Who would you spend time with. How would you bring value to the world. What would your salary be. Every single little detail. Write it out. And then start taking action, even if just a small little step like reading about the industry you want to work in or if you already have a degree sending out a well planned job application.
- Write about what you have learned this day. It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant, because we obviously aren’t going to learn the same amount daily. Some days we actually have a course we attend or a lecture, while others we scroll internet for the whole day (yea…I see you 😀 ) This will help make you see you are actually evolving and especially so, if you make learning your priority n.1 and you go out of your way to have something new to tell your dear diary (yes the boys too, everyone gotta learn. If you want to keep it masculine get a blue one. If you like pink 😉 nothing wrong with a bit of pink with glitter :D)
- Write out the amazing and positive stuff. Yes, even if your day sucked. Don’t write about the negativity (at least not on the norm) Your brain will remember the negative shit anyway. But write out the positive. Even if it is; well I got a parking spot fast. Yes, it counts as a positive.
- Journal of all of the opportunities you said yes to and no to. This way you can track if you are too much of a yes-person or a no person. If you always say no, you will realize that you might miss out on stuff (smart no saying is essential tho) and if you say yes too much, you aren’t reliable because you have to go back on your promises and that is worse than just saying no right away.
- Keep a goal journal. Write about how you achieve the goal. What you did right/wrong. What didn’t go as you assumed. Write what steps seem to repeat themselves no matter the goal. Make sure to keep it positive, the idea is to make yourself see the goals you have accomplished. This will give you the boost you need when you get into the dark place of ” I never do anything right”. BUT be realistic. If you could have reached that goal in half the time if you have been more disciplined. Write that. It’s still great that you achieved it and you should feel proud. But you have to learn from each goal, to make it easier next time, because you are prepared.
Whoop Whoop keep lets get it! I would love for you to tag me into pictures when you write these. On instagram @changedlife365 and on twitter same @changedlife365! Lets go let go lets go! I’m so excited for this! I really think these are great topics to write about. It can be daily, like with the positivity prompt or once in a while like the goals prompt. Make it your own!
Don’t forget to join the community: : FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest
Have an amazing week <3
Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.
Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.
Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.
What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.
So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.
Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?
P.S Happy belated Easter!
Confidence really depends on how you feel within you. If you are going to try to search for it externally you will never have it totally. Because 5 people will things you are hot af and 5 people will find you ugly so that’s +/- 0. But if you find yourself hot/beautiful/cute/sexy (or all of those) then you have all the power. So what to do?
I have been “battling” with confidence issues for ages. I would be one who wanted acceptance and thus would try to search for it in the wrong places. It is surprising what a couple of well-placed words from the wrong people does to one ego. But what can you do?
- Buy a bit of sexy/pretty/cute lingerie. It doesn’t have to be risky with a lot of laze and almost nothing to leave for imagination. It can just be something simple with a little bow. Or anything that makes you feel more confident but still comfortable. (No one walks confidently if there is something riding up into their ass)
- Take 10 extra minutes to put yourself together. Whether it is to put a bit of makeup or so something extra with your hair. It is a lot of the little things that will make you feel bomb.com
- Buy some simple but cute staple pieces. I bought a black t-shirt and is very simple and even a bit sporty but it fits me well and I can make the outfit look basic with is or if I put some extra bling jewelry I can make it look pretty fancy. If you don’t want to look too dolled up for school you can just have some extra makeup and jewelry in your bag, and you can add it before you go to a cafe or whatever you do after school. (Maybe a date with a cutie? 😉 )
- Make sure your clothes are clean and have no yarn sticking out. Just simple being neat does a lot to your look. White shoes that aren’t white? Bleach them. You can do it at home or if you don’t like bleach internet has a lot of tips how to whiten stuff without bleach.
- Organize your life. And this might be a very weird one. How does that tie into anything? Very simply. If you have all in an order you won’t run around like a headless chicken. You will have time to take the extra 10 minutes to do your hair/make up. Or maybe your shoe will break and you will still have time to change your pants to match the other shoes.
- Keep a cycle going. Having old good clothes is great but sometimes the fact that you bought something new will boost your confidence. And let’s be honest does that 5-year-old t-shirt that is super soft still look good? Probably not. You can wear it at home or to the gym but buy a new one. Because it will make you feel better. Trust me.
- Take time to build confidence that has nothing to do with looks. Find a hobby that you like so you can get better at it. Find something to read or maybe a podcast that makes you feel smarter. Looks are great and I at least won’t pretend that they don’t matter. But they are not all that there is. You might be the prettiest person in the world. But if you feel stupid and you aren’t interested in anything… you most likely won’t feel confident.
- Save money to buy that 100-200$ bag. Doing that all the time won’t really do anything. But saving money to buy yourself nice things that would on the daily seem like WAY too much? That will give you a boost. Not only because I am sure that bag is cute af. But also because you saved your hard earned money to treat yourself. And that is always fun.
Confidence makes a huge change in your life. Not only will it make you feel better. But it can be the difference between whether or not you get the job or whether you go on that trip with your friends that might change your life. Confidence makes you feel less scared. And the less useless fear you have in your life the more you get out of it.
As always thank you for reading. Leave comments, they are appreciated.
So last time we talked about how the Internet is addictive and how that is bad for your mental health and relationships. What can be done, in order to kick internet addiction to the curb? This depends on the severity of your addiction. This blog post will have two parts to it. 1) How do you know you might need help from a professional (that would not be me) and 2) If you think your addiction is manageable, how to make your internet use healthy and balanced.
- How do you know if you might need help and where to find it?
- Your internet addiction is affecting your life in a negative way, you don’t get any work/homework done.You lose track of time. It stops you from spending time with those who are close to you. You feel guilty about it and like you need to defend your actions. When you do use it feels euphoric (Like getting a hit from a drug would feel, I suppose) Internet overuse may lead to strained vision, sleeping issues, carpal tunnel syndrome ( the nerves in your hand are overused and get damaged due to overuse of the computer/phone)
- Where to find help? There are many programs and different types of therapies to go to, that can help. (For more information link at the end of the blog) If you are not from the USA then you will have to do more research but similar treatments are available all over the world. It will be good to mention about you struggles to someone, either a parent or maybe a school psychologist. There is always a solution.
- What to do if you think you can handle it?
- Figure out why you want to stop overusing internet. Because your mom said so won’t be strong enough reason for you to change your ways. Analyse what harm it causes you. Does it make your relationship strained? Or maybe you never achieve the goals you set for yourself because you just have to scroll the Instagram feed for 3 hours (even there is nothing new)
- What times does using social media bother you the most? Start eliminating that usage first. It might be in the morning, you hate waking up and seeing all of your emails. (You should eliminate using your phone for the first hour of the day anyway.) Maybe you really shouldn’t go on the phone after school, if you want to do some school work. See what the times are and make sure to turn off the phone for that time. And before you say but I have an alarm on my phone, you can invest in an alarm clock or you can turn of your phone after the alarm rings. Make a timetable to when you are “allowed” to use the internet for fun.
- What about the full cleansing? How can you stop wanting to spend time on the phone/computer? Well, time is going to help, if you will get used to not being on the Internet all the time. Some apps might help you when you are working to get rid of social media use. But what about the long-term use? Make sure to do other things during the times you would otherwise be online. Read a book, be with a friend who will hold you accountable maybe download an app that will tell you how much you actually use time on the phone for nothing. (Trust me, you will be shocked.
- Once in awhile just force yourself to put it away. Even if you grab it you can still put it down or if its an internet page you can close it. When going out for a walk, you don’t need your headphones and music every time. Just listen to the birds. When studying you don’t need the phone in your room. If you otherwise will go a get it, leave it with your parents. Tell them not to give it to you until much later.
Believe in yourself and you can make it. Internet and social media are great tools and they have a lot of fun things to do in order to amuse you. It is important though to understand where the fine line between healthy and unhealthy use goes.
As always thank you for reading and hope this was helpful. Leave a comment below of how you overuse internet and why you want to change it. If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask.
Internet and Computer Addiction Treatment Program Options:
Internet and Computer Addiction Treatment Program Options
Carpal tunnel syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpal_tunnel_syndrome
Negativity is a productivity/inspiration killer. But what to do when you are in the cycle? I mean it’s not like we can just buy a ticket to Bora Bora right now and leave. I, at least have school, no money and other obligations. Can’t just up and leave. What to do then, to make your day brighter in a simple way? Here are ten things that work for me, with a bit of an explanation if you feel like trying them out as well.
- Cleaning. This isn’t something that makes me happy while I do it (Unless I am procrastinating doing an essay or reading for an exam). But I feel better after it. I can concentrate better and I feel good about myself. Happy that I could be productive. As a side note. Cleaning doesn’t mean the whole house. Just washing the dishes. Or putting my clothes away etc. Can sometimes be enough to clear my mind and make me feel better.
- Going on a walk. Fresh air (cold in Finland right no) always wakes me up. Even if the weather isn’t the best it makes a world of a difference for me. I always come back with more energy and a lot more awake. Don’t over do it. 15-30 minutes can do wonders.
- Taking a shower. A warm shower, washing away the stress and negativity. Smelling clean and fresh. It is almost like I wash away the believe that I can’t do something. If you haven’t done this before let me suggest you a exercise called shower meditation. Imagine that the water that cascades over you washes away the bad things. It doesn’t matter what it really is. Stress, bad memories, negativity about others or yourself. Just imagine you are cleaning all that junk away. Check for another shower meditation idea here: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-26626/heres-a-5minute-meditation-you-can-do-in-the-shower.html
- Meditation in general. Just five minutes pause. Breathing and being. Trying not to think about anything, or if you think about something (which is more than common) try to make it something positive. And after the thought “passes” go back to thinking about you breathing. I have a post about meditation here.
- Reading (Audio books work as well). Reading gives you a chance to be ANYWHERE you want to be. If you want the book to be about dragons, you will find it. If you feel like jumping into a world of magic and excitement… Harry Potter here I come. Or it can be a book on something you want to learn or that just interests you. I myself prefer reading books that are not about the reality or if they are, it has to have a twist. Because when I read to relax I want it to have nothing to do with the world that is causing me to stress/be negative in the first place.
- Make a cup of tea/coffee. This personally helps me even if I am doing some school work while I drink it. Making the tea/coffee gives me exactly the small pause I need to get my head back on my shoulders. And having that cup of a hot beverage just makes me feel somehow very business like and efficient. Like I am in a office so productive that I don’t even have time for a coffee break. I know it might seem a bit silly but that idea helps me often if I’m stuck.
- Stretch. Again gives you a pause and it is good for your joints and body in general. And you also must admit that when you stretch and you reach that sweet spot ( I am sure you know what I mean) it is very satisfying.
- Dance like like no one is watching (cos they aren’t you are in your room alone.) Put a silly song on for example Girls just want to have fun by Cyndi Or if you want something more masculine(Hehehe) YMCA. Seriously tho I don’t care what songs you like or want to dance to. It shouldn’t matter as long as you are having fun. Heck I have danced to AQUA- Barbie Girl. It’s all about the fun.
- Sleep/power nap. Look working hard is good. Studying for them A* is great. But not at the expense of your health. Sleep is such easy way to get back on track. And imagine. One bad nigh can effect you for 4 days. So think twice before pulling an all nighter.
- Write/draw/paint. Write the good stuff, the bad stuff, just because you enjoy writing and any other reason in between. Draw or paint circles, do something creative with your hands while your brain is almost turned off. This just gives you time to process things and not over analyse and makes you free to relax. Just don’t make this about some kind of goal of writing a book this year or to paint a master piece. This thing is just for you. As an outlet.
Thanks again for reading. Sorry if this post got a bit longer than usually. Hope you guys find it still interesting and helpful. Tell in the comments below what helps you.
Negativity has been hot wired into our brain. It is one of the secret powers with which we have survived this far. But we do not really need negativity as we used to. I mean we don’t have to assume we will be attacked or anything along the lines. So why do we still hold on to negativity. Well evolution does happen very slowly, and thus it is our job to rewire our brains.
Disclaimer: This post isn’t about turning you into this rainbow pooping unicorn with no worries in the world. This is to help you see more good than bad, beaucause there really is a lot of good in the world as well.
- Be grateful. I am sure you have been shoved this from every person who is even a bit into personal development. But it is true. It is so easy to get stuck on thinking about what you do not have. That you totally disregard what is already there. So remind yourself every couple of days, of the things that make you smile. Maybe its your parents, your dog, your significant other, maybe it was the fact you got to read a great book. Just keep those things in mind as well, especially when your mind starts to wonder to the negative side.
- Write what you feel. You can call this a diary, journal what ever. Maybe just bullet points of “Things that annoyed me today” and then write them out, and chances are that at least 3 things were just very silly. Someone walked onto your heel on a busy street. (and didn’t even ruin your shoes and apologized). One waited in the lights 3,5 seconds after the light turned green. And urg that cashier didn’t even say good day. After you have written those out, doesn’t it feel silly that the whole 16 hours that you are awake a day on average, you say has been shit for those reasons?
- Kind of a continuation from the last point. Don’t churn the negative things all the time. Let it goooo, let it gooo. Ok, I will stop singing now I swear. But really, a) no one needs to hear your whining ( unless its an actual legit reason why you need to open up to someone, never hesitate to talk or seek help). But talking for hours about how that driver was an asshole won’t do anything. It will just make you get into a negative cycle that will be very hard to exit. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.
- If the things that bother you are actual problem try to figure out if you can do something about. Had a fight with a friend. Could there be a way to have a discussion and sort it out? Yes there probably is, unless you murdered their dog or something. What about sh***** I JUST came up with a perfect come back to that thing that bully said to me over 10 years ago. Can you change that? Well not really without seeming very pathetic. (I mean can you imagine calling Billy at 2 am, 10 years later to tell him” hey, yo momma is so big…?)
- Do things you know will make you feel better. Read a book, go for a walk, buy a candle and burn it. What ever it is that you know that no matter what the day was like, you i will enjoy doing it. Watch a stupid comedy, what ever rocks your boat. I for one love to laugh after a shit day. I mean I am 21 but I still watch the pink panther cartoon once in while. I mean it is satisfying how the person who does everything wrong and is mean always gets a lesson at the end ( and Pink Panther gets away with everything 😀 )
I hope those tips help and I would love love love to hear what you do to be more positive if I didn’t mention it above. Or even if I did. ^^ Thanks for reading and as always comments are appreciated. (Also I have no idea why Billy is the bully’s name, nothing against Billy’s here 😀 )
So, you want to be confident but you don’t know where to start?
Let me give you some tips, that I have used myself, and that way you won’t feel the need to get surgeries, use billions to have someone give you a “makeover” (that wouldn’t do anything, anyway, if you feel insecure on the inside, just saying)
I want to first state that in my opinion, confidence comes from the inside, so do not try to boost your confidence by spending a lot of money on clothes, make up etc. I do not think it makes you confident for the long term. Let’s start, shall we?
- Confidence isn’t just about looks. Confidence is about ambition, about having understanding in subject other people might not. Do not hide away if you are a book worm, or you love statistical maths, just find people who know how to appreciate that in you. Knowledge and ambition makes a person so much more attractive to others, so don’t hide your brain, it is just as beautiful as your body.
- Accept compliments. Look I know it is trendy now to be all shy and humble. But there is a difference between humble and plain evil to yourself. “Humble is saying Oh thank you so much, you look amazing as well, where did you get this shirt it makes your eyes pop so nicely?” And mean to yourself is “Oh gosh, no way, I look like a zombie from the walking dead. I just can’t make myself look pretty unlike you, you just shine like a diamond.” Look the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves has an amazing amount of impact. Not only do we make ourselves seem less attractive by being in this “victim mode” we also make ourselves believe what we say.
- Gurll/bro, please don’t apologize for how you look. If you slept bad last night then don’t even mention it and hustle on. And if someone else says “You look tired” Then you should say “Yeah, slept bad last night, but hey I still look pretty fab considering.” Not only will this make you seem like a happier person, which is always an attractive trait in a person, it will also make you seem confident. Seeming confident to others will also make yourself feel more confident, which will just improve your state of mind all in all.
- Listen to music that is upbeat and happy, when you are walking. Or right before a stressful event. Having purposeful strides makes you seem like someone with a mission = Confident. Also it will get you in a better mood, so you seem more alert and in the present.
- Don’t shy away from confidence. There is a very big difference between being confident, secure in who you are and being an egoistical ass h***. Just be you and be comfortable being you, don’t over do it, and do not disrespect others, that makes it impossible for you to be egoistical.
- Give it time. You won’t feel amazing and perfect in a day. Just keep working on being the best version of you and make sure not to put yourself down, and you will be confident one day. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
If you guys want tips on how to improve confidence with clothes, make up and such leave a comment below and I will be sure to touch upon the subject in a future post of mine. But keep in mind that inner confidence is much more important than outer one.
So, we are often searching for ways to making our lives easier or more productive, and I think that it is a great way to develop as a person. (Just remember there is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs). But I think some of the tips we are given, shouldn’t be listened to, at least not word for word.
- Do not drink right when you wake up. In theory drinking right away is a great tip. BUT remember to first at least swish some water in your mouth and spit it out. This way you do not swallow all the bacteria that is in your mouth from the night prior. The best choice would be to wash your teeth or oil pull, but as a bear minimum at least gurgle a bit.
- Do not make the bed right away. The bacteria and moisture from your skin is going to just rest under the covers and have a nasty party. Eat a breakfast first and then make your bed, if you have a window in your room you can open, do that as well, it will freshen your bed up.
- Eating breakfast right away might work for some people, but I rarely am hungry right away, and I personally do not think that it is healthy to force yourself to eat something right away. It will give a negative connotation to mornings and breakfast and that is just not cool. One way I tend to postpone breakfast if I am not at all hungry is by either getting ready and eating after than, or taking a sandwich and water with me. I can eat it on my way to school/work. This is something that depends a lot on the person.
- Exercising in the morning is NOT a must. Do not get me wrong. It can be a great way to start a day, but I for one am a hardcore evening bunny, so I have a lot more energy to move in the evening. That way I am tired for the night but I do not feel dead on my feet the whole day. Something that you can do right away in the morning that isn’t too exhausting is to stretch. It wakes you up and forces you out of bed.
Those are just some ideas I have and the two last ones are more my personal opinions or preferences. I hope you like this post and please comment if you have other ideas.