Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

Why finding your purpose kinda doesn't matter?

It is 2020 and you have all this energy to learn what you want to do for the rest of your life? WHY? Well everyone talks about purpose and their life missions and blah blah.

I bet that most of the people who have figured out their life purpose have changed it a bunch of times, or figured it out only after 40 or maybe even only realized what their purpose was when they were retired and had time to reflect on their past. I also bet that the people who have known what they want to be at the age of 5 are rare as fuck. (Let’s be honest we can’t all be doctors, pirates, princesses or astronauts…. real life sucks, to be honest)

So why finding your purpose isn’t that important?

  1. When you spend your time trying to find something certain you usually ignore everything else. You get tunnel vision. Like if you search of a fallen earing you probably don’t see all the dirt on the floor, not cos it doesn’t exist. But because you just concentrate on the earing. If you can’t see anything else except what you assume is your purpose (whether it is because people said you are good at it or because your parents want you to be a doctor) you probably won’t see the other options.
  2. If you only want to figure out the end goal you don’t enjoy the process of getting there. I did my internship as an office assistant… is it my dream job? No… is it my purpose for life? Probably not… but I’ve had some of the greatest experiences in that job. And I learned a lot about myself and my interests during that time! So go out there and experience things!
  3. Life purpose for many is something that they understand only at the end of their lives (and usually there were more than just one). And honestly, I assume that most of us don’t want life to end at the age of 20 or 25 or even 70. So why worry about something that you can learn and understand only at the end of the journey? Enjoy the process… don’t stress so much.

You aren’t off the hook tho!

Now don’t get me wrong. You should still have goals and passions and pursue them. Just don’t over analyze them. Having a goal to have an experience rich year is just as good as having a goal to become a doctor or to learn to skate. Whatever you learn this year about yourself and what you like, will take you closer to figuring out what you want to do… for now. And in 5 years you could learn it has changed. That is life.

Live your life.

I hope you guys have a great 2020!

Communication, Personal development

Communication skills are the key to success!

The risk of communication is that it is “lost in translation” which is most likely caused by lack of skills in communication. Lack of communicating or ineffective communication can break relationships, it can cause huge distress to others and it can even harm people beyond your wildest beliefs (e.g. bullying)

But communication isn’t just verbal or written, it is also about how you say something and the body language you use. Verbal communication is more than just the words, it is also the tone of voice you use. Written as well is way more than just having sentences strung together.

There is no risk of becoming a too great of a communicator. No one will ever come up to you and say, “You made your point entirely too clear!”  

Remember while communicating

  1. Communication is a two-way street. It isn’t enough for you to be a good communicator. You have to also be a good listener and even a greater detective. Here is why; Listening gives you clues to how your message has been received, does the person sound defensive? Do they have a relaxed or tense stance? Are their arms crossed? Did they lock their jaw? What could you have said to make them frustrated? Was your point to make them react in the way they did?
  2. No one is a great communicator right of the bat. I mean we are born lumps of flesh that can’t do more than cry. We need constant help and attention. Sometimes we even are enabled to communicate in a bad Not to point fingers at anyone but letting your kid get the candy in the store just because they yelled and screamed and you want them to shut up, isn’t a good way to teach a kid to communicate. While kids have to be kids there has to be some type of a hint for them that hissy fit isn’t a communication skill anyone appreciates. (Let’s not forget that a lot of adults have their versions of hissy fits too) We need to constantly remember that we can and should improve and it doesn’t happen by osmosis… we need to make an effort to learn.

Key Pillars of Communication

  1. Plan your communication

What are you trying to say? Are you giving feedback? Is there a chance you will offend the person? What are the world choices you might need to reconsider? For example, when giving someone feed back (in the form of criticism) we often do it a) when we have had enough and we just burst out and say something really harshly (or write it). b) we often start accusing; you never, you always, why can’t you ever do what I say. It always starts with a you and it makes a person feel attacked. Change the way you communicate to be more about yourself not the person you are talking to.

How to do this? For example, like this: “I have noticed that I need a bit more guidance in these 3 things. Could you give me directions that are even more clear?” This way we start from our needs and the other person doesn’t feel attacked. They feel like with a change of action they can improve something for you because you need it not because they suck. (Of course, there are some people who just never accept any type of suggestions or criticism. Avoid those people at all cost if at all possible)

2. Time your communication smartly

Don’t start talking to a parent about their bad parenting skills when their kid decided to run away. Don’t tell your partner they suck in bed during a fight. Don’t start giving feedback to someone about them when they are doing it to you. (even if all is actually true) Timing is often everything and quite often we communicate to defend or even offend rather than to resolve. It is also a sign of our insecurities when we defend/offend. Here is a my post on confidence. Make sure that when you speak or write it is proactive and not reactive.

3. Be present while communicating.

It is so easy to not actually listen to what the other one is saying. I do this and so does everyone else. Especially with phones being there all the time. But even when social media isn’t the culprit there are many other ones. We are thinking of what we want to say next, we get annoyed about something the other person said and we tried to keep it in but actually we are just having a monologue inside our own minds. (Go check out my Attention blog post)

Be present, that way you can be a good detective and learn more in the situation than you ever could have just by talking.

I will get back to talking about communication skills soon for couple of reasons:

  • We live in a world where we use words to start fights, even wars. The strongest weapons we have are words and I want us to use them to generate peace not war
  • We communicate with ourselves a lot and end up hurting ourselves more than anyone else hurts us. This hinders our progress in personal development because we end up not trying anything in the fear or failing, not only in front of others but especially in front ourselves.
  • Communication is a key for great well being at work. We need to be able to have clear instructions on what we need to get done and what others need to get done for us. Lack of or bad communication can cause misunderstandings, fights and lead to unnecessary stress. You should communicate to your employees, your co-workers your clients and everyone else in a clear way, in order to save time, resources and build trust between people. This is a great way to improve well being.

More on all of these topics later; don’t hesitate to comment about communication in general or if you want to read something specific related to it.

Thanks for reading as always! See you next time 😉  

Here are some recourses for you, in order to work on communication:

Back to Basics: Communication 101

Charisma on Command: BLOG and YOUTUBE

Types of Communication

Communication Theory

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In Conversation

Personal development

Ready or not!

Sometimes life is just a series of unknown events that just attack you from behind. You can’t prepare and you aren’t aware … and that is ok. Ready or not …. take the chance!

The thing is that often times we can learn to expect the unexpected and even plan our lives around the unexpected. Let me explain. In short there is only one thing that is sure after your birth and that is that one day you will die. No matter if you see this as a good, bad or a neutral thing, it is the truth. So everything else in the mix is unclear. What jobs you have, who are your friends, will you marry how many kids (if at all) you will have, etc. All is unsure. BUT there are ways to make things more sure:

If you want new experiences, even if not 100% sure what, search for them. Even if you feel you aren’t ready. Talk to people, ask them about projects etc. If unsure, usually just jumping ahead is a great way to figure out if something is for you or not. A lot of lessons were learnt that way for me. Not all of them were nice lessons, but life lessons rarely are nice.

If you are scared, then you should really do it. Now don’t get it twisted. You shouldn’t ever be the type of scared where you feel someone is following you but you just see how things will turn out. Like guard your life ofc. However sometimes just jumping and seeing how it will go is a good strategy 😉

All the things you will achieve in life are going to be behind hard work. That is also something that seems to be as certain as death. Ofc you get lucky sometimes. But even luck has a funny way of showing up when you make an effort.

This year has been a roller coaster ride for me. Stress with studies (I got my diploma finally yaaaay) A work place I love is soon coming to an end and there are new opportunities ahead (I will tell more once everything is more clear!) But nothing would be going as it has, if I just would be laying in bed wondering what to do next. Just take the step and then the next and little by little your path will light up… and after a while you might find out that you path is changing and that part is the beauty in life, you never know how things will fold out.

Ready or not here I come

Sincerely: Life

Hope you liked these thoughts from me and I hope I will get to write to you guys soon. I have missed updating… life has just been…..hectic 😀

Personal development

Write your life live your life

Living our lives without any type of plan is almost impossible. We have to plan our studies, or how to get food on the table, how to get a job etc. But what if you have no idea what it is you want to achieve in your life? I use journaling to help me with this issue. Here are some topics you can write about and hopefully achieve some clarity from them.

  1. If money, time and obligations wouldn’t be a thing what would you do? Is there a way to incorporate this into your life around your other obligations?
  2. If you would die in a year, what would you regret the most not doing?
  3. What books hit your heart and how could you incorporate what you learnt in them into your life?
  4. What did you love doing as a child, and could you still do it now?
  5. What things do you hate about your life, and what can you do to get rid of them or lessen their affect on it.
  6. What 10 things should you do more on a weekly basis.
  7. Open ended; just start writing without any goal or objective, write your feelings you thoughts our worries your happy ideas everything that you hand gets onto the paper. See if there is any answers that you didn’t even know that you were searching for.

This is a small but sure way to get some clarity. You can spend your Sunday for example thinking and writing while listening to calm music.

As always thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed the text. Don’t hesitate to comment and see you again in a week 😉 Ciao!

Personal development

Multitasking- a threat or an opportunity?

  1. Introduction
  2. What is multitasking?
  3. What are the threats of multitasking
  4. Is it also an opportunity?
  5. Conclusion

Introduction

I have been searching for work for a while now, and I have realized this one expectation that many recruiters have, they want someone who is effective at multitasking. I have lived in a belief that multitasking is a myth and wrote on LinkedIn, that I feel like multitasking isn’t a good expectation to have. Many people agreed with me, yet many didn’t and this is why I decided to dive deeper into the whole multitasking world. What is multitasking? Is multitasking a threat or an opportunity?

What is multitasking?

Multitasking when speaking about humans, is when we do many things at the same time. This could be cooking, trying to take care of your kids and answering an email or what ever your life forces you to do.

What are the threats of multitasking?

Despite being well meaning, multiple studies have noted that multitasking can hinder ones productivity and isn’t actually as effective as expected. Some studies like 2009 Standford Univeristy study by Clifford Nass shows that multitaskers were actually less organized. It was harder for them to see the crucial details compared to non crucial ones. Another study (Bryan College) found that peoples productivity suffered from trying to multitask costing up to $450 million per year.

The issue with the concept of multitasking, is that people believe that they are actually doing more than one task at the same time, which isn’t possible. The brain needs to switch from task to task which requires quite a lot of effort. Mostly this is an issue if you are working on something hard. Since as we know certain things we can do at the same time, talk and walk, breath and move our hands etc.

The benefit or negative impact that multitasking has on productivity is subjective and depended on the task at hand

Rachel Gauthier

The issue comes when we try to force our brain to do many difficult things at once. “Multitasking can hurt efficiency for couple reasons: It takes time to switch between gears, and the process of switching ‘working sets’ of information can lead to errors and mistakes. Being efficient at multitasking really means trying to make those costs as small as possible”. Bob Schafer, VP of research at Lumosity states.

Bryan Collage study also has noticed millennials changing platform to platform up to 27 times per hour. There has been proof of even IQ lessening by 15 points during cognitive tasks and even emotional intelligence and brain density suffering. This for me is at least not surprising. I recognize the need to check one thing then think of another and so on.

Multitasking at a café
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash and Quote from Times article

Now some argued in my comment section on LinkedIn that there is no such things as concentrating on one thing 100% and that certain jobs like working at a café or bar could require you to multitask. And this is true, however, I would also argue that is the more different task one person has to keep track of at once the more mistakes there will be. For example: a barista has to make a cocktail for 10 people they would have way more risks in making a mistake than if they only have to serve 3 people. Also making 10 cocktails that are all the same will be way easier than to to make 10 different ones. On top of all this if you know the cocktails well its easier to do it as if automatically, rather than something you have never done before. Same thing in a café while making lattes. Or being a baker and waiting for the batter to rise while you decorate the cake. There is a reason why we have alarms and reminders set. So we actually remember to do things we are “doing” at the same time.

The neuroscience has proven over and over again that we thrive of doing one thing at a time. Only 2.5% of people can multitask effectively. Not only is multitasking mentally exhausting it could be potentially life threatening (e.g. texting and driving). While multitasking we lose out attentiveness, we hinder our learning and we lose our mindfulness.

Remember this the next time you’re tackling two tough tasks simultaneously.

 CYNTHIA KUBU AND ANDRE MACHADO 

Is multitasking all bad?

This is a matter of perception. What do we count as multitasking? For example is taking notes and listening to a lecture a task or two? We can apparently form tasks better if we thing we are multitasking, because we make more effort to not make mistakes. Those who see taking notes and listening as one easy task, don’t do as well on it.

While this idea doesn’t take away the countless research done before on the negative effects of multitasking (the actual one where we try to do too many difficult tasks at once) it does show that the idea of multitasking can be motivating. And I actually have seen this in myself too. I love the idea of being efficient and for someone reason we live in a society that has romanticized multitasking.

In conclusion

So? Multitasking- a threat or an opportunity?

Unless a task is automatic, like breathing and driving a car or walking and talking, it most likely will cost us in our productivity if we try to force it to work with other tasks. This is why at least for me, if I drive somewhere unknown and I need to see where to make a left turn, I will stop talking (but not breathing). If someone asks me to write an essay and give a speech at the same time, I won’t be able to do it.

I will however be able to make meeting notes while listening to the meeting. I will be able to write myself a reminder to do some other task after I’ve completed the one at hand. I’ll be able to answer a question while doing something …kinda, technically I will have to stop the task at hand and answer the question and get back to it. (See, multitasking seems to be a myth)

I would argue that word multitasking is just wrong for what we try to explain with it. We need to come up with another word to explain that we can do many things intertwined with each other, and the more they are similar to one another the better.

Recruiters, I hope that by multitasking you mean the capacity to write a post-it note for a task that you need to do right after you written an email to someone. Because in that case, I also am great at multitasking! It better not be the idea that someone can write two emails and have a phone call at the same time. Cos then, sorry but our paths don’t cross, and honestly that’s sad cos I do love working hard and I would be a great addition to your team.

You do you boo

If you think you can multitask and you honestly feel you need to in order to be happy, successful, etc. Be my guest, and if you actually are a great multitasker, I am just a little bit envious of you. But if everyone who reads this says they are… then I’ll call bs, cos 2.5% of the population isn’t much…

As always thanks for reading! Hope you liked this post. It was slightly different than what I usually write. Don’t hesitate to comment!

Here is a link to a post about things you should stop right now….multitasking should be on the list 😉

Personal development

5 steps to a Miracle Morning

I personally am a morning person. I love waking up early and great the sunrise (well, during the summer I do, in the winter sun wakes up way too late for my schedule). First a disclaimer; you don’t have to wake up at 4 or 5 or what ever time the gurus say. But a morning routine, is going to get you into gear, even if you wake up at 12. Let’s get with the 5 steps!

The early morning has gold in its mouth

Benjamin Franklin

Step one – Give yourself time

How many of us have woken up just in time to leave in 30 min. We made the coffee, spilled it on our white shirt. Kicked the table and almost squished the dog. Why don’t you wake up so you have 1 hour at least to get ready. You can actually drink your coffee or tea calmly? Let’s start the day in a relaxed mindset. There is time to through of the balance later too

Step two – Prep in the evening

I am sure you have hear this. Get your clothes ready, prep your breakfast etc. This take away the stress of having to prep everything in the morning and gives less time for you to make mistakes and forget important things. I have a check list that I need to have completed every evening. Work keys, phone, car keys, food ready to go. Check, check, check. I’d rather check 5 times than to run back and forth. Which I have done. (This is quite a new part in my routine)

Step three – Exercise

I don’t have too much time in the morning to think about fitness. I start work at 7. So I wake up at 5 as is ( sometimes earlier) BUT what I do have time for is stretching. And couple of jumps and getting the blood going in my body. So I get the day started. Proper fitness is an evening thing for me. I also get a friend with me to make it more appealing for me to go 😉

Make the morning work for you <3

Step four – Attitude

I am just like anyone else. When the phone starts playing its alarm I want to smash it and throw it to Timbuktu. BUT I don’t. And I do a lot to get into the better mindset. Stretch. Breath deep in and out. Think of the good part of the following day. You get to listen to good music, you get to see your fabulous work team, you get to listen to the book on your commute. Or maybe give some scritches to you your pupper? All good reasons to get up. You will always find some shit in your life. Try not to search for it on purpose. It will find you on its own.

Step 5 – Time it

This sounds dumb. But honestly see how much time it takes for you to do all of the things you need/want to do. An example of a timetable would we; Hygiene 10 min. Makeup 10 min. Breakfast 15-20 min. Meditation 10 min. Getting dressed 5 min. Organize room and check everything is with you 10 min. All in total is 65 min. This is the time about that you need for your morning routine. For someone it could be 1.5 hours, for someone 45 minutes. Take what you need, and disregard the rest. Make it yours. A miracle morning is only a miracle if it works for you. Make sure it does!

All in all, it isn’t hard to plan it. Now you need to stick to it. What is your morning like? Do you wake up early or late?

Here are some links to my past blog posts to help you reach your goals! 4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success, Gamify your success, 5 steps back

Books, Lessons in life, Personal development

What is the science of success?

Success seems to be this elusive, unidentified object that is always a little bit out of reach. You keep on running and all the time they change the place of the goal. Just when you think your are on the finish line some asshole just erases it and draws a new one.

New exam, new competition, new goal, new limit to what counts as financially successful! This is so frustrating, here you are ripping your hair out, because nothing you do seems to be enough. And the simple answer is…. it isn’t and it NEVER will be. Because, if you ask others what your success should be, they will always answer how they think their success should be, or what they have been told, their success should be. So number one goal, for YOUR success, is to figure out what it is for you.

Quote by Bo Bennett

Why I 100% believe that success is very subjective I do think there are certain things that all successful people, who also feel like they are successful, emulate.I have watched a lot of interviews of successful people and most of them have this recipe for success;

  1. Over come obstacles and push yourself to be better
  2. Be passionate about something to the point it is almost an obsession
  3. Help others
  4. Have fun with it
  5. Constantly grow and know thy self.

The Entrepreneur has a similar list to this. It goes like this:

  1. Create often
  2. Understand self
  3. Have fun
  4. Suspend judgments
  5. Seek challenges
  6. Pursue meaning
  7. Make change work for you
  8. Develop resilience
  9. Constantly improve

Why are these things that make people generally happy and successful? I would see this as the affects of the Hierarchy of Needs that Maslow has coined in a paper he wrote in 1943.

The hierarchy goes in a shape of a pyramid, having the most basic needs for survival on the bottom, as a foundation and getting more into the details of human fulfillment as we go up to the point of the pyramid.

The construction is as follows(from bottom to the top):

  1. Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest etc
  2. Safety needs: Security and safety
  3. Belonging and love: intimate relationships, friends
  4. Esteem needs: Prestige and feeling of accomplishment
  5. Self actualization: achieving ones’s full potential, including creative activities

What is my point with this? We often try to skip ahead on this pyramid. Obviously biologically we must take into account our need for food and safety, but what about love? Friends? Quite often when we speak of people who are monetarily successful, we hear of their break ups, hard marriages and so on. Often we are ready to compromise our relationships for money, and that in the end is what makes us ultimately fail. I also believe that we forget how much we love effort. Not too much effort. But just enough that we can feel proud in our achievements. This is why often someone who what the lottery and has nothing to do except burn money will find themselves depressed. They aren’t actualizing themselves.

Other peoples idea of success:

I asked on my LinkedIn couple of days ago, what is success to others. A lot of people said that helping others brings them the most joy. Of course doing things that are fun and well also having monetary success came through. This all in my opinion ties in quite nicely with this idea of hierarchy of needs. We want to help others, because it gives us the feeling of belonging and love, it helps give others security. We need the money in order to take care of Physiological needs, but it also often shows directly how much effort we have put into our work. A lot of answers to my positive surprise did realize that this money as a measure of success in the end isn’t that valuable.

My idea of success

I see success as over coming hardships and figuring things out. Living a life full of experiences and being surrounded by people that I love and care about. It is definitely full of laughter and sparks of inspiration. (This is why I write the blog) But there is still a lot of answers regarding success that I am missing. I am not quite sure yet what else I want to do apart writing my blog, if we think as a job. I mean blogging could be my job, I am not sure if that is all I want to do. I do want to help people and I want to have a job that no day is alike and that I keep growing and evolving. I know however that I get closer to fining out my version of success, and in the mean while I enjoy the ride. After all my success right now, isn’t the same as in 20 years. And that is OK to. Dreams, plans and you change with time, why wouldn’t your ideal version off success change too?

Want to read more posts relating to success? Read the post about #CHANGE, 5 Simple habits for guaranteed success , and this one on the mindset of success!

Goals, Personal development

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone…comfortably

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone…comfortably. So that you reach your potential! Yes I did say comfortably.

What did I just promise you? Something that you probably never thought to be possible. It is very much possible and I will show you how. Soon. First let me just point out that there is a time and a place for you to also force yourself out of the comfort-zone forcefully. But it isn’t always the best case. In case you have missed my posts on comfort-zone don’t check it after reading this one! Bye Bye Bye comfort-zone and Comfort-zone is necessary

Back to the topic at hand: Why should you sometimes do it in a comfortable way? Sometimes we have so much resistance to change, aka leaving the comfort-zone that we simply won’t move if the step isn’t small enough. So that is why I suggest these 5 comfortable steps.

One – Switch up something in your routine! (Success Magazine)

Do something small. Do you always wake up at 6? Wake up at 5.50. Ten minutes can give you just enough extra time to not rush. If you already wake up supper early, maybe make a different breakfast, or you go to the store by walking. Or perhaps instead of typing a message to your friend you call them up. Even a small change can be good for you. Try it. If what I Tell me in the comments what you will try or have tried 🙂

Two – Accept help or ask for it

Accept help from others while you try to work towards a goal. For example, if you want to run a marathon. Try and get a friend to join you with the training and the marathon itself. Having a friend on the journey with you helps you to have more fun and for the goal not to seem so crazy/fear inducing.

Small changes now, will make your life look totally different in the future.

Three – Keep your feet on the ground… for now!

Make realistic goals for leaving your comfort zone. If you have never done any type of sport. You probably shouldn’t start with an extreme sport. Start with a group lesson or maybe just taking a walk. All exercise is good exercise.

Four– Ones step at a time

Work on only one area at once. So if you want to be out of comfort zone with routines. Concentrate on that first. Then it can be fitness. This doesn’t mean you are stuck till the end of time on one area. Maybe after 2 weeks of making slight changes to your routines, you can work on fitness, then maybe reading a book genre that you usually wouldn’t read. Then maybe upping the goal from routines changed for 2 week, make it 30 days. And so on.

Before checking my last tip. Do you have any great tips to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential? Share them for others to see!

Five – Girls (and boys) just want to have fun!

Have fun with this. Comfort zone is a very very very boring place to live in on long term. When you hear monitor plateaus you are declared dead. Why doesn’t this apply to real life? This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It is actually the opposite. You should have fun, because it will make you less resistant to getting out of your comfort-zone.

Here are my 5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential

What are your tips for this topic? Please let me know if you want me to write about the opposite side; how to make radical leaps out of comfort-zone?! I actually really like the idea! Anyway until the next post!

Keep working on being the best you!

-Alisa

Books, Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

“We must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.”

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers 😉 ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

Goals, Personal development

Life ends, did you exist in it or did you live it?

Just last week I wrote a blog about catching up with your goals. I know that this seems like something that is rather redundant. Yes yes, we should have goals and aspirations so what?

Simple, it has been proven that we are happier when we strive for something greater, better. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to strive to be a millionaire. I mean I wouldn’t say no to a couple of million. But I don’t think it would make me happy, if after that I wouldn’t have more substance to my life.

So this is why I ask a very somber question from you my darling reader. What have you done, before you die. 80 years will go past fast as fuck. There is no point to think of what if’s when you are on your bed. So why not think of what if’s now.

What if you won’t do anything now? What if the goal you have is almost reached but you give up right before it? What if you have so much potential in you but you deside not to do anything because you are too afraid? I am not saying you shouldn’t sleep, eat or rest once in a while. Going after your goals doesn’t mean hustle till you die. It means make sure your life is off substance, so that once you die, you won’t have to think of what if’s. You won’t fear death as much if you realize that it is actually your time and you did everything you could have to live a fulfilling life.

So, after reading this post, journal a bit. What if you would die today. What would you be proud of? What would you have to achieve in your life to be on your death bed and; “Greet death like an old friend”?

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation in the comments and don’t forget to check my socials 😉

Xoxo, Alisa

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