Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Spirituality

New way of Goal Setting

Ages ago I stumbled upon a fascinating youtube interview between Marie Forleo and Daniel LaPorte. In case you are interested in taking a peak; the video is here: Goal Setting.

Instead of the basic goal setting that we are accustomed to; lose weight, travel the world, gain x amount of money. What this interview dives into, are the feelings you get when you achieve something you want. So instead of lose weight you would say you want to feel sexy/beautiful/confident. Instead of having x amount of money you want to feel free/secure/abundance. And you goal, is to achieve that feeling, not the tangible amount of money or a six pack.

Why should it be the feeling you go after? Well x amount of money that you assume is going to make you happy, might not make you happy. Usually people assume that they need way more than what they actually need. Maybe you are able to be very comfortable with a 100 000 a year instead of the million you thought. 100 000 a year is still 8, 333 thousand per month. That is definitely something you can live comfortably with. And you having a million probably wont make you that much happier. It might even just cause you stress, where to put that money, what if your friends are there because you are rich etc. etc. etc.

What about feeling sexy instead of having a six pack? Well, maybe you wouldn’t feel sexy with a six pack. Maybe you prefer the flat belly, or a little bit of more curves. As long as you are healthy and you feel sexy, that is the most important goal. That is what you should concentrate on.

So now, there is a bit over a half a year left. Instead of living your life by achieving things. Achieve feelings. How do you want to feel when 2020 rolls around the corner. It is much easier to find motivation in feeling happy, content, excited and full of life, rather than x amount of money, a job that pays well or a body that doesn’t even feel like yours anymore.

Thanks for reading! What are your feeling goals for the next 6 + months?

P.S Happy belated Easter!

Xoxo

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Health, Lessons in life, Personal development

How to: Feelings

We are told daily not to get unhappy and not to be stressed and don’t feel anything that might seem a bit negative. God forbid that someone gets angry for being punched in the face. I am not here to tell you that you should wallow in self-pity and mope around. What I am saying to you is that you might as well “ride” out these feelings.

Feeling angry? It isn’t an issue if you don’t pour gasoline into it. Ignoring the feeling of anger is often like gasoline. It might not work in the same sense as actual gasoline where you combust right away. But you ignoring the feeling for a long time will make it build up and then, later on, you will explode. A loved one that said something that you hated? Tell them about it right away. No one needs you to play martyr and just “turn the other cheek”. Not in this case.

Tell them that you didn’t like it. Because if you let that hurt/anger sit it will explode later when they do a fifth thing that you don’t like. And you might say something you regret. They might not know why your reaction is as big as it is. Also, girls, let’s not play the “ If you don’t get why I am angry I am not telling you”  game. That is so not cool. Unless it’s like the 10th anniversary or your birthday that they really should know by now. Otherwise just say it straight.

If you feel sad and want to cry. Just do that. If anyone judges you let them. In today’s age, we are told to repress our feelings. That will lead to either exploding later on or maybe not being able to open up at all. Then we wonder why we feel depressed, but it really isn’t a wonder if we keep everything bottled up.

It’s the same with stress. You must learn to manage stress that is true. Meditation, writing down the reasons why you are stressed and going out for a walk or with friends are some ways to manage stress. But telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel stressed and why am I stressed isn’t. Trying to force is out of your body will only make it worse. No one can have a good meditation if the only thought in your mind is “I can’t stress” on a loop.

On the flip side, you should also freely feel the good and happy feelings. Not in a cocky bitchy way. Not is someone is having a bad day and you go to them and say “oh no, but oh well I am having a great day”. But if you are proud of achieving something then just say so. If not to anyone else then to yourself. Or maybe write about it in your journal. While being cocky and narcissistic is something that everyone should avoid being, too much of modesty will make others discredit you as well.

If someone says you have written something well, thank them and maybe joke slightly like “Oh you noticed it too huh” But never just outright diss your work “Oh no, its absolute garbage, I’m sure a 5-year-old could have done it”  It might get you some sympathetic comments at first but later on people will just stop complimenting you and may even start to think the same things. Because if you can’t be proud of that work, why should they be impressed with it?

Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated as always and please follow. If you feel someone needs this blog post please share. Sharing is after all caring.

xoxo

Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

Feelings, those pesky motherf****

Feelings shape our daily lives and makes life sometimes so much more complicated that it should be. And that is why I say, kick your feelings to the curb. Okay, maybe not that far. They are an important part of who we are and they make relationships of all kind work. Do not become a robot, just because feelings aren’t always logical. But I would suggest to give limited control over your life to feelings.

Let me give a couple of examples when feelings shouldn’t come into the drivers seat. (But they have been for me too once in a while, so no worries, I ain’t one to point a finger at you, my friend)

  1. When your feelings tell you, that you don’t feel like doing that thing. Do not listen to it. This is when your subconscious mind is for a reason or another telling you not to do something. Sometimes its fear of what you might achieve, and sometimes its just plain laziness. Either way, don’t listen to that feeling. Because you will never feel like doing something, unless its like super fun. So get your ass in gear and go what you got to do.
  2. Do not let yourself feel like a failure, if you didn’t reach a goal, or your grades weren’t as good as you wished etc. Look all of us feel like we aren’t enough once in a while and that is quite normal, means you do not have a unhealthy ego. But the thing is, if we let this failure mindset control our lives, we will never move forward and we will never try again. And that is a failure much greater than doing something wrong and learning from it.
  3. Jealousy. This one I think you can actually kick to the curb. I mean it doesn’t do anything to help you. Looking up to someone and getting motivated from that, that is great. But being jealous and wishing to get something by being negative about other persons success, that won’t lead you into the life of success. Hard work and consistency will.
  4. Fear. Do not silence it totally, because it  could be useful when you are about to do something stupid. But do not give it too much power, because that will paralyze you.

Thank’s for reading, I hope to hear what you think about this post, and if you have something to add please do.

Xoxo,

-Alisa