Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

Why finding your purpose kinda doesn't matter?

It is 2020 and you have all this energy to learn what you want to do for the rest of your life? WHY? Well everyone talks about purpose and their life missions and blah blah.

I bet that most of the people who have figured out their life purpose have changed it a bunch of times, or figured it out only after 40 or maybe even only realized what their purpose was when they were retired and had time to reflect on their past. I also bet that the people who have known what they want to be at the age of 5 are rare as fuck. (Let’s be honest we can’t all be doctors, pirates, princesses or astronauts…. real life sucks, to be honest)

So why finding your purpose isn’t that important?

  1. When you spend your time trying to find something certain you usually ignore everything else. You get tunnel vision. Like if you search of a fallen earing you probably don’t see all the dirt on the floor, not cos it doesn’t exist. But because you just concentrate on the earing. If you can’t see anything else except what you assume is your purpose (whether it is because people said you are good at it or because your parents want you to be a doctor) you probably won’t see the other options.
  2. If you only want to figure out the end goal you don’t enjoy the process of getting there. I did my internship as an office assistant… is it my dream job? No… is it my purpose for life? Probably not… but I’ve had some of the greatest experiences in that job. And I learned a lot about myself and my interests during that time! So go out there and experience things!
  3. Life purpose for many is something that they understand only at the end of their lives (and usually there were more than just one). And honestly, I assume that most of us don’t want life to end at the age of 20 or 25 or even 70. So why worry about something that you can learn and understand only at the end of the journey? Enjoy the process… don’t stress so much.

You aren’t off the hook tho!

Now don’t get me wrong. You should still have goals and passions and pursue them. Just don’t over analyze them. Having a goal to have an experience rich year is just as good as having a goal to become a doctor or to learn to skate. Whatever you learn this year about yourself and what you like, will take you closer to figuring out what you want to do… for now. And in 5 years you could learn it has changed. That is life.

Live your life.

I hope you guys have a great 2020!

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

Why we Fail With New Habits

I’ve mentioned this before but let’s start with the basics. What is habit forming like? When we form habits the brain stops working as hard to make us achieve a task. That is why we might forget how we got to work or whether or not we locked the door. Brains just go on autopilot.

That is also an issue when you are trying to stop doing something and change it to a good thing, e.g stop eating too much junk food and eat something healthy instead. For our brain, it is easier to just fall back into the old routine of getting a burger from BurgerKing after work rather than going to the store to buy healthy alternatives and actually making food.

So what do we do that makes us fail at forming new habits, even if we take into account how the brain forms these habits?

We try to achieve all our new dream habits at once.

  • I will go to the gym five times a week
  • I’ll never eat a burger in my life, ever
  • I will start getting A*’s on all my exams

That is just not realistic. First of all most habits have many steps to them. If you want to lose weight, you must start exercising, eating healthy and if you are very serious probably start counting macros and maybe doing food prep. That is four habits (if you are going really hardcore) that you want/have to change. It won’t all happen in one night. So if on top of that you have 50 other habits with each of them having 2-3 sub-habits. Boy, are you in for hell! And you will fail. Trust me, been there done that. 

The more you do in a day that will cause you resistance, the more likely you are to give up after say 2 hours. This issue also ties into trying to change a huge thing in your life as the example of losing weight; it is technically just one goal. But if you have never climbed a mountain you wouldn’t start your goal by climbing Mount Everest. So why do that with your habits?

If we are only thinking about the outcome, we will never be motivated by the process. You will not change your life around in one day. And some days you will probably not do anything towards your goal and that will suck. It is the reality though. If you are only waiting to see how your life is magically transformed, you will never reach your goal, because you feel defeated before you properly get started.

We assume that just because some change in our life is small. It doesn’t matter. But big things are made up of many small things. If you make sure to always take the stairs,  you will have better health even if it’s just a little bit. Writing one page from a 10-page essay means that you have less to do later. Both of those are small changes but they make a difference. So going to the gym only once a week doesn’t make you weak, just because Becky can do it 5 times a week. It just means you aren’t in the same place as her. (And let’s be honest here, she probably just lifts her phone to take insta pictures and that isn’t working out properly)

What if we have an issue deciding what it is that we want to do? Well, try picking a keystone habit. This is a habit that makes it easier to change other habits after you have mastered it. For example; Doing sports. Becoming active will ensure that you are more healthy and thus have more energy and quite often that can mean better results at school or being able to wake up earlier and that way you can get more done in a day.  This could also be drinking water, getting better sleep or eating healthier.

One more thing. You must choose one habit you concentrate on. But that doesn’t have to be the only thing you do. I am right now working on waking up at 5.30. (I swear I’m not insane, I will just have a hella busy summer) Anyway, just because that is my goal. Doesn’t mean I don’t do anything else for the rest of the day. I am also working on not being on social media so much and trying to study better during the day. But if there is one thing I want to achieve in each day (the minimum) it is to wake up at 5.30.

Since I am on the journey to change my life, changing habits is a very interesting and important for me right now. While I was searching for information for this blog post I stumble on these sites. How they give you more information if you need it:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320874.php

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t forget to leave a comment. What did you think of this blog post and what would you like to hear next.

xoxo

– Alisa

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