Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

โ€œWe must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.โ€

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

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Goals, Personal development

Life ends, did you exist in it or did you live it?

Just last week I wrote a blog about catching up with your goals. I know that this seems like something that is rather redundant. Yes yes, we should have goals and aspirations so what?

Simple, it has been proven that we are happier when we strive for something greater, better. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to strive to be a millionaire. I mean I wouldn’t say no to a couple of million. But I don’t think it would make me happy, if after that I wouldn’t have more substance to my life.

So this is why I ask a very somber question from you my darling reader. What have you done, before you die. 80 years will go past fast as fuck. There is no point to think of what if’s when you are on your bed. So why not think of what if’s now.

What if you won’t do anything now? What if the goal you have is almost reached but you give up right before it? What if you have so much potential in you but you deside not to do anything because you are too afraid? I am not saying you shouldn’t sleep, eat or rest once in a while. Going after your goals doesn’t mean hustle till you die. It means make sure your life is off substance, so that once you die, you won’t have to think of what if’s. You won’t fear death as much if you realize that it is actually your time and you did everything you could have to live a fulfilling life.

So, after reading this post, journal a bit. What if you would die today. What would you be proud of? What would you have to achieve in your life to be on your death bed and; “Greet death like an old friend”?

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation in the comments and don’t forget to check my socials ๐Ÿ˜‰

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Personal development

4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success!

So, there is only half a year of 2019 left. Have you done half of the things on your goals/to-do this year list? Chances are you haven’t and there are a lot of changes I haven’t made either. Even thought I was way more committed to change this year, that the years before.

One big goal that I have been able to work more on than previous years has been this blog. But even with the blog, I haven’t gotten as much forward as what I had hoped for. So now, I must plan things a bit better for the next half a year. Including all of the other goals/to-do’s I have.

How do we achieve these goals, even if we are late? How do we make sure that the mistakes we have made in the past 6 months (or more) don’t get repeated? Where to even begin? Especially if we have accumulated even more onto the to-do list? I will go through some ways I deal with this overwhelm and hope it helps you too.

How much time do you actually have?

Analyze how much time in reality do you have free. How much time is left, if you take away the hours you sleep, the time you eat, work and take care of kids or your parents etc.

For reference we have 168 hours in a week. With 8 hours of sleep a day it will take 56 hours away/ a week. In Finland on average we work 37.5 hours in a week. I don’t have kids but I spend time with friends, let’s say i want to spend at least 12 hours in a week with them. This means I still have 62,5 hours left over.

Let’s take 8 hours a week for social media (It is way more in reality currently, but I am allowed to aspire to do better!) This leaves 54,5 hours in a week for what ever I want to do/achieve. For now I should also write a thesis. On a good week I would write 10 hours. This leaves me with 44,5 hours a week.

This means I can work towards my goals for almost 2 full days, in a week. That is a decent amount with all of the other stuff I get done in a week. How many hours would you have left for goals, without excuses?

If you have 50 different goals. You have no hope what so ever to achieve any of them. So. Chose 2. that would leave you 22hours and 15 minutes per goal/ a week. Now if you still can’t reach your goals, check the next tip.

What has been the actual reason you haven’t done what you were supposed to?

Did you have a hard time with your partner? Did you feel overwhelmed? Did you bite a huge as piece at a time and now you can’t chew? What ever it is meditate/journal with this question in mind. Because we figured out before that you indeed have hours in the week. If you just make sure you use them smartly. So what is the real reason you achieve nothing or not as much as what you want?

Have one day a week (or even daily) routine to bullshit check.

How much did you actually spend on your phone. Did you agree to see all your friends this week for full days? Did you decide you were too lazy to wake up after the 8 hours of sleep? What could you have done differently to achieve the way of life you want to?

Whether you like it or not. You don’t have to relax by watching TV. A good book will do the same and you will even learn new things. 15 minutes worked towards your goal is better than none. Have this time for your to write down, all of the bs you have told yourself during this day/ week and do your best not to repeat this next week.

Lists, lists, lists baby!

Make lists of all of your goals and to-do’s. What are the ones you have to do? A thesis so you get to graduate? A work project so you get money money money? What are the goals you want to achieve that are not obligatory? If they don’t spark anything you you. If they feel like they were put on the list because it seems cool. Cross them out. Leave only the ones that make sense.

Now don’t be lazy. All of us want to rest a bit more in bed. All of us want to hang out more with our friends. But if we ask ourselves if we want to make our lives even better. Most of us say yes. (And the rest a 99% of the time in denial) Working towards the unknown doesn’t feel fun. But after you make the list and only put those goals onto it that feel yours. You should be good to go for the next 6 months.


I believe in everyone of you. I know that reaching goals is hard. I know that most of us have complicated lives. But we don’t have to add to the by being lazy/ coming up with excuses. Work your ass off and be happy in the moment be even happier in the next one when you get close to your goals!

Thanks for reading! Let me know what sparks inspiration in you? What would you be right now if your excuses wouldn’t be in the way! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on the socials! Until next time!

Xoxo, Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

How to have great conversations?

You might be thinking; you are a personal development blogger. How does this relate.?Everyone can talk. First things first; no, not everyone knows how to talk effectively. And secondly, if you want to learn more, become successful or connect with people you MUST know how to effectively communicate with others. Also in this society where shock value of a conversation is way more important than actually getting forward with topics that might have multiple view; I feel it is essential to learn how to communicate effectively and to learn from one another!

Let’s define terms

What does a conversation mean. A dictionary definition is: ” a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.” How would I define a great conversations? A great conversation, is where both participants get a voice, both state their opinions/experiences and are able to; despite potentially disagreeing with other, be civil. In a great conversation, even if it ends with people “agreeing to disagreeing”, both participants feel listened and respected. This conversation, despite it being emotional, political or tied to ones identity, remains civil and no slurs, raising of the voice or argument( heated one) is anywhere to be seen.

Very short a sweet things to consider when having a conversation;

  1. How emotionally stable am I right now, to have this conversation?
  2. Do I actually have the facts, to base my opinions on?
  3. Am I capable of being an adult in this situation, since I am so emotionally invested in the topic?
  4. If I know someone wants to criticize me, can I without referring to childish ways of “You started it”, have it or should I ask them to come back to the topic later?
  5. This is the right time, place and am I in the right mindset right now, to start this conversation.

Very great change starts from very small conversations held among people who care

Margaret J. Wheatley

Here are the 5 short tips in a longer form:

1. Don’t yell/cry/ have a tantrum

You want to seems intelligent and level headed. This doesn’t mean you can’t show feelings, just make sure that those feelings don’t come out as a protection mechanism. It often does goes like this to me, and trust me when I say that it has never helped me to get my point across… other way around. I am extremely emotional. And often I start crying if I am angry/frustrated. This just makes me seem younger and not as mature in the conversation, meaning that even the points that are valid, that I would make are disregarded… because I am crying.

2. Do not make statements that sound like you know what you are talking about, but are actually bs.

For example; “billions of women are mistreated everyday. I read about it just yesterday”. A) If you read about something yesterday, you probably remember the source. B) Unless the number is actually billion(s) you shouldn’t use that word for shock value. Stay to the facts, or make sure to make clear that that point is your understanding of the situation, not 100% fact.

3. Don’t get personal with someone just because you feel strongly about the subject.

If someone is being sexist, you should say things like “Well you were probably abused as a kid, and this is why you are being so fucked up right now.” There is no reason to assume that, and just because someone’s opinion hurts you, doesn’t mean you should hurt them back. Most of the time it is more healthy to rather not have a conversation with someone than to become verbally abusive in the situation. Even if the person is actually wrong in that case.

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue, that’s why there are so few conversations; due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.”

Truman Capote

4. If someone is giving you criticism, responding back with criticism.

It is selfish, childish and it won’t take the conversation forward. There are two ways to react to criticism. 1) Note that this sound actually truthful and you should probably take this into consideration. If this thing you are criticized for hurts others, apologize. 2) Realize this doesn’t apply to you and try to explain why you disagree. If you can’t come up with an understanding, let the conversation die out and live your life

5.When starting a conversation doing it in an attacking kind of way.

We all know with extremes that it is probably not the greatest time to break up with someone if their parent just died. You shouldn’t point out someone’s problems when they are down. Having a conversation, especially where you are planning on criticizing someone, is important that you do it, when they are in a receptive mode. (This doesn’t mean you should break up with someone on their b-day or something like that either….)

If some topics interest you, say racism, feminism, religion etc etc. You should research before trying to have a debate/conversation with someone. If this conversation is totally spontaneous, explain your points clearly, or if you notice that you can’t verbalize yourself in a way you want to. Tell that to the other person. There is no shame, in saying that you don’t feel comfortable talking about something due to lack of knowledge or because you are uncomfortable.

So shortly;

Don’t be too emotional, don’t get on a high horse, don’t be a bitch, don’t get defensive and don’t attack. It is very simple… very very simple. And people seem to just decide to muck it all up, because of feelings and because of EGO….. Also I am noooooot on a high horse right now. I have made pretty much every single one of these mistakes in some type of fashion.

Here are some great resources in order to be more educated, be a better communicator and also just how to keep a conversation up, so that it doesn’t become awkward. I will also link some posts on similar topics written by me ๐Ÿ™‚

Ted Talk – Celeste Headlee: How to have a good conversation

Practical Psychology on YouTube. They have a great vault of new ideas, information and tips and trick, not only for communicating more “fluently” but also to just learn more things and having more interesting topics to discuss.

How to not be that polarizing in conversations

Charisma on Command : I must admit, I have binge watched these videos more than on one occasion. He has a great way to analyze a persons actions (positive and negative) and show through very clear example of how to command respect, how to be funny and how to despite not always being correct, being able to have a proper and respectful conversation. If you want to become a public speaker, a good writer or a likable person in general, you should totally check this channel out !

Now to the posts I have written that I think you will benefit from: Not everyone listens; do you? , Learning and age, 10 simple things I do for a positivity boost

As always thank you for reading. Please don’t hesitate to comment and let’s start conversations.

Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

How to successfully study (even if you aren’t at school)

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice”

Brian Herbert

So; I had a blog post poll and twitter and 2 post ideas got the same votes; the one I am writing about right now and “How to have conversations”. So I will make the post about conversations for next Monday. But today we will talk about how to study. While the title mentions that it isn’t for school, it can be applied to school as well. I just feel like even after we are done with school, we should still continue learning and this we need to know how to study; so here we go! (I will link bellow my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn! )

Tip N.1; Choose one thing (Maybe two if they are different enough)

I feel like the most important part is to figure out what you want to study. I don’t think there is a good thing and a mad thing to study. You can study languages, math, culture, history, self development. What ever feels like your own.

However this poses a problem. You aren’t at school, so no one is going to give you a limit to what to study. It isn’t realistic to study all sub parts of all of the topics listed about (plus there is like 1000’s of more of them, that I just don’t have time to list). So as my tip suggest don’t choose too many things to study. Even if it seems very tempting.

You could study a language and history. That way they are different enough. If you study Spanish you might want to learn about Spanish history, because you might understand the culture better. But don’t choose too many things, just so you don’t feel overwhelmed. I am sure we all remember how stressful it was to learn everything for our finals, why would you do that to yourself on purpose, right?

Once you stop learning you start dying.

Albert Einstein

Tip 2; How do you learn best?

Now that teachers aren’t thrusting a book into your had and telling you to read and learn 500 pages by heart. You can actually listen to yourself and figure out how you learn best. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use multiple methods, it means you should see what works the best and after that using the other methods to bring variety into your studies. Just because you like pasta the most doesn’t mean you can never eat anything else…right? So Figure out your tastes and start planning

Tip 3; Plan your learning

Learning can be a great way to pass time and relaxing without having to check your phone
Learning can be fun!

This doesn’t have to be as hardcore as at schools. You don’t have to know that by the end of tomorrow you have read chapters 1-5 from a book. But making sure you have some kind of a picture is important. If you work, are a stay at home mother or go to school and want to learn things outside of school, you should make sure you have time for the thing you want to study.

So check your calendar. Is 30 minutes a day realistic? How about 1 hour every other day? Maybe study what you want for couple of hours during the weekend. Or make it a part of your morning routine. You can easily wake up 15 minutes earlier and decide to study a little bit of vocabulary before getting up. Or do that during night time, this way your brain will process the info while you sleep. Either way, make sure you have time for what you want to learn. Trust me when I say it doesn’t work if you just plan on studying “when you feel like it” it didn’t work in school and it sure as hell won’t work now, because you won’t even have you finals to force you to study…

Tip 4; Figure out a why

Just being curious is a good thing, but it won’t last you for a long time and it won’t be something constant. Obviously there is nothing wrong about once in a while reading a fascinating article. However, if you want to seriously learn something, you should have a strong why. For example; I want to learn Spanish, because I have studied it for ages and I like the sound of it. The idea that I could one day have a conversation with a Spanish person seems fantastic and I think it will help me understand their culture. Since culture and languages are often closely linked. A while a go I learned, because I had family members in France. Just thinking the languages if fun, isn’t a bad reason. But it rarely is strong enough. However if it is good enough for you, great!


Here were my 4 tips for studying even if you aren’t at school. All of these however work even if you are. Leave a comment if I forgot something and I hope this helps! Bellow I linked my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn!

My posts; Growth VS. Fixed mindset , Be taught and teach, 5 life changing challenges

Other helpful sources; AsapSCIENCE, Charisma On Command, Fastcompany, How to learn books

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Personal development

10 things that will make you a time management guru

So let me guess? You never have time for anything. You have a full time job, 4 kids and a high maintenance husband … or dog… I will tell you that you very much have the time. This is proven by a speaker and author Laura Vanderkam. She has interviewed many busy people. Resulting in a very simple theory that you can achieve way more than you think if you just believe in yourself, make time for priorities and plan things out. I happen to agree. Her ted talk is absolutely amazing and highly recommend it. Here is the link: Ted

What Laura points out to us that there is 168 hours a week. If you work a full time job of 40 hours a week and sleep a solid 8 hours per night (making it 56 hours a week of sleep) you still end up with 72 hours for your own things. As one of the people she interviewed said; instead of saying you don’t have time you should say that you chose not to do xyz because they aren’t your priority. Which is true. I shall soon demonstrate how.

10 ways to make time when you are 100% sure you don’t have it!

Unsubscribe from all unnecessary emails!

You don’t need to be signed up to 50 news letters you don’t need. You will save time organizing your email and you won’t feel the pull to check that one thing out just in case you are missing out. Rather save it into your bookmarks. If you actually think about that great page like you think. You will visit on your own, without an email telling you to. Saves you time because you choose when you check the page, instead of being sidetracked when answering an email.

Make priority lists:

Laura mentioned in her Ted talk that we have 3 categories we should allocate time to. Career, Relationships and Self. Make lists of 3 things into each of the categories you want to do daily or at least weekly. This could look something like this: Career; meeting with an important person, networking and doing that one course that will 10x your income. Realtionships: date night with your significant other, seeing/being in contact with your closes friends, calling your family. Self; skin care, gym, reading/online course. This doens’t mean that you don’t get to do anything else. You most certainly will have to answer emails, make calls, and so much more. BUT if the things that are on the lists make you fulfilled you should schedule them into your calendar first.

Make people priority lists.

This sounds weird and harsh but it is effective. No matter what some people are more important to you than others. Your family is probably number 1, then your significant other and then your friends. But if you have say 20 friends that you are quite often in touch with, you have to see which ones of them you need to prioritize.

How you do this is up to you. You might want to prioritize those you haven’t seen in a while or maybe those who are closer to you are the ones who get the most attention. There is no wrong answer. Just make sure that you take care of your social side in a smart way. You can book 20 meetings with friends in a week. I am sure it is easy even if you see couple of them at once. But do you want to put yourself through that?

What are your time wasters?

How do you spend the time you commute? How about the time you wait for the doctor to call you into his office? What do you do during your lunch break? Most of you will answer that you check emails or social media or something else not important. Doing some of those is fine. But instead of scrolling insta on the bus, why not read/listen to a book?

During lunch break why not talk with co-workers, you will get some socializing in and build stronger networks. If you work from home you could go for a walk for 15 minutes and then eat. So many choices, check from the self category what is on the priority list; reading? Gym? Could you make it happen instead of being is social media?

See what can you outsource or automatize.

Certain emails you can mark as junk or make them go into the right folder. Bills you can pay automatically in online banks, so you don’t have to worry about anything else except that there is money on your bank account. You can outsource some of your emails. For example if something is to do with marketing and you have a marketing team, you can make sure those emails forward automatically to your team.

Or you can ask your office assistant to bring you a latte (if it is part of her job, no need to make her run just cos you are a coffee addict.) You can ask someone else to do almost anything. Make sure that only those tasks you absolutely need to do will get done by you.

Say no.

Look its is sooooo hard. I know. We live in a world where A) we get bombarded with new things all the time and B) everything is marketed in “you don’t want to miss out on this”. The fear of missing out is real! But the actual truth is that you can’t attend all the concerts, movie premiers, trips to all over the world, still have a family, job plus a social life. So you have to say no to opportunities, to people asking for your help and to your own wants as well.

If you don’t know whether to say no or yes, check your priority list. Does it take care one of them, for example seeing friends. Cool say yes. If it doesn’t do anything for you but actually takes time off the priorities say no. It is normal to miss out on things. But missing out on a concert is way better than feeling stressed about how to fit in the important things.

Don’t overbook yourself.

This might seem counter intuitive. Why should I mark that I commute to work place in 45 minutes when I know it takes only 30. Because, sometimes the car breaks down, the traffic is weird, the bus driver doesn’t see you and doesn’t stop etc. The 15 minutes is a buffer time, that makes it possible for you to be late and still be on time. If you however are the 15 minutes earlier, you can walk to your favorite cafe and get that latte, so your assistant doesn’t have to be running around. Genius!

Own less.

Look this is one of those wtf are you talking about, but seriously just listen. If you have only 10 outfits to chose from you will be way faster than if you have 100 of them. The same thing goes if you have one pen, your favorite, you don’t have to try the 30 ones out. If you have 50 books that you have on the to read shelf, you will take your whole reading time trying to choose what you feel like. (And you will change the book choice next time.) So owning less will save you time. A while back I have talked about minimalism and how to pick and choose from trends in this post. : Picking and Choosing

Don’t bother over thinking.

Laura has a quote: “Most stuff doesn’t matter. Think about today’s date two years ago. Can you remember what you were worried about then?” Probably not and the truth is it probably wasn’t a big deal then either. But you stressed about it. You lost sleep over it. Didn’t work as well due to the lack of sleep etc. Stop stressing all the time.

Take time to do things that are “time wasters”

Now don’t you dare only read this and tell all of your friends how Alisa told you to waste your time. Nu-uh! However this is an actual tip from me. Sometimes we deserve to just watch a silly comedy on the TV with a bucket of ice cream. Or scroll on Instagrams cat video page. It is perfectly fine to take this time to switch out brains off. As long as we don’t forget to put them back on.

Key take away from the Ted Talk:

In Laura’s Ted talk there was something that really resonated with me: She tells about a busy woman who had no extra time. But then her water cooler broke, which resulted in a huge mess. As you can imagine. It took 7 hours from her week to get rid of the water and to clean everything up. Now if you had asked that woman if she had 7 extra hours in her week. She would have probably said hell no. But because there was a crisis, she found the 7 hours.

What Laura says is that “We can’t make time but it will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it.” So in short, our priories should be treated like that water cooler crisis. We just have to find time for them. After all it is what will make us actually fulfilled.

Thanks for reading , don’t forget to comment your favorite tip. Also please follow me on my socials, seen on the left, or from the 3 lines if you are on a mobile device ๐Ÿ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

Here is some more links that I used for inspiration or that I feel you should ๐Ÿ˜‰

https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2019/05/12/9-ways-to-curb-burnout-and-carve-out-time-for-whats-truly-important/#578319372446

Goals, Personal development

5 mindsets that will make you successful

I am sure if you follow certain successful people, you have noticed certain aspects. Now there are exceptions to these rules and the reason they work, is exactly because of that, they are exceptions. So once you learn this receipt, you are free to try and get out of the box. I actually implore that you do. But first; let’s find out the clear ones:

  1. Be nice. Don’t over do it. Don’t let others walk over you. But while being nice and sweet is usually seen as a personality trait. It can totally be your mindset. You can choose to be nice. If someone steps on your shoes, and you want to bark at them, instead just smile and say it isn’t an issue. If a customer is being rude, just apologize for the inconvenience and wish them a good rest of a day. Not in a sarcastic voice ( tho you might want to, trust me I’ve been there….) but honestly. Most of the time it makes the customer get a bit flustered and makes them regret being rude.
  2. Be a problem solver.Sometimes you will get questions you don’t know an answer to. Instead of just saying: “Sorry, I have no idea”. Figure it out. Make a call, google it anything. It might not even be something relating to your job. A great attention from someone who isn’t even your customer can reach to someone who is a potential customer. And the chance is that if they already are a customer they will stay that way and tell about you to others. So, you don’t lose anything.
  3. Everything is figureoutable. Ties in a lot with the one before: This is something that Marie Forleo preaches and if I am not mistaken she was the one to coin the term. But having this mindset will help you with building a business, figuring out a homework, figuring out how to help a customer. Anything and everything. There is something supper powerful in a person who finds a solution.
  4. Be charming: There is nothing more amazing than a person who is great at achieving things, being nice and on top of all that a charmer. It can be simple like helping someone carry things you see them struggling with. It can be your boss, co-worker, customer. Comment on someones outfit. Smile when ever possible. People often tell that saying good morning to your co-workers does amazing things and I absolutely agree to that. However you can say hi even if you are on the phone and both hands are busy, just smile, or blink at them. Problem solving, remember?
  5. Have a humor: This has its risks. Obviously. Everyone will find different things fun. I happen to be sarcastic. But I don’t have to use sarcasm if I sense that the “audience” isn’t on the same page on that. It can be a dad joke, or even just laughing at someone else’s joke. It can be laughing at being clumsy. The more you smile and laugh (in a professional way)

So in short; be someone with an entrepreneurial mindset. Get shit done and be fun, nice and charming about it!

Success is a long ass road. So don’t come barking at me for not becoming a millionaire yesterday just because you have these mindsets. You need to do so much more than just these. BUT these mindsets will make you go extremely far. You might not become successful just having these mindsets but without these you definitely won’t be. Trust me.

Which of these have worked for you in the past? Or which do you need to implement for the future?

Xoxo, Alisa

P.S Don’t forget to follow me on the socials seen on the left ๐Ÿ˜‰

Goals, Personal development

How this quote can change your life?

I love this quote. It is so simple, fun and so very true. I mean who doesn’t love a quote that rhymes but is still smart?

Fun and smart!

If you follow my Facebook page you would have seen this quote already. So if you don’t follow the page yet, go ahead and check it out here: Facebook

How can this quote change your life?

If you live by the rule of this quote it becomes very simple. Just do a bit more. When you are good at something change the goal to being better at it and after that best at it. Of course you get to chose what those things are and no one is telling you to become the best at everything. But striving for something better everyday is a great way to change your life.

Instead of just laying in bed today go on a walk. It is better than what you had in plans. Instead of doing only 8 reps at the gym do 9 this time. Instead of accepting that you study a language only 15 minutes today, study it for 30 minutes. Push yourself just a bit more. Not till you drop. So obviously listen to your body. But don’t make it an excuse. Instead of turning the TV on, you can just learn couple of more words from the language you want to learn or something similar.

Which quote motivates you? Leave it in the comments! I would love to read them!

Xoxo, Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

Clearing up personal development

What is personal development? Get rich fast scheme. Work non stop till you drop so you can die becoming a millionaire. Well, I am sure someone could think of it that way… but no.

I am very fascinated with personal development. But I think there is a misconception that there is one way of doing personal development. And that just isn’t accurate. It is call personal for a reason. It is the development you instill in yourself. And it can look different for different people.

If someone would ask what I think personal development is, I would say it is someone working on their weaknesses and getting out of the comfort zone. There must be a part which is not comfortable to you. Because those things that are easy and nice to do, don’t make you grow. They are still important to have in your life, but they don’t make you grow (sorry)

How ever what you do in order to grow is up to you. It could be traveling; there is so much to learn about yourself and the world with traveling. It forces you to think about your finances and it makes you be more organized, since ofc. you don’t want to miss your train/bus/plane etc.

It can just as well be reading books on the topics that you don’t know. It can be fitness, it can be going to courses. Anything. But you have to do it well.

I started personal development about 5 ish years ago. And I can’t say I have come far. Not because I have some extremely hard story to tell. Simply because I haven’t before given my all to working on myself. You can always find something to work on. But it is very easy to come up with excuses. Just like with anything. And I sure did.

Personal development is very important. It requires self discipline and awareness. You must realize what you must change or work on in yourself and stick to it. That isn’t easy. But if you want to go from where you are to somewhere better. Something that you have dreamed about, you must work on yourself.

Why do I think it is extremely important? We as a society constantly look at everyone else. Judging and saying how everyone else is so dumb and “I would have done it better”…would you have? I mean maybe. If so then just go and do those things differently. Work hard to make sure you can make a change. If we work on ourselves to be the best us we can be. Then things we achieve when we come all together are magnificent.

Many broken people aren’t going to make a full society. So working on ourselves is way more important than pointing fingers at others.

What should you work on? Leave in the comments! ๐Ÿ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

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Personal development

Why “HAPPINESS” is bullshit

Running after happiness is like running after someone who will kiss you and then punch you in the face.

Alisa

Happiness is such a broad word and I at least feel like it doesn’t actually mean anything. It is just a filler in a conversation: “Are you happy?” I will try to explain why happiness is kinda bs. However to make sure we don’t have to start studying biology and chemistry, I have simplified everything a lot. So please if you want more information, check the links I have left at the end, and research yourself. Let’s get into it:

There is a reason why the world happy is in quotes, in the title. I don’t think we understand what happiness means. And the truth is that my happiness and your happiness are two very different things. For some reasons though, we always try to copy others in the hope of getting the same kind of hit that the other person got. The we get bitter when it doesn’t make us feel good and we feel like we’ve been lied to…

So let’s talk about what is happiness scientifically (very simplified). DOSE (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphin) are in charge of the feelings of happiness, in very different ways. Endorphins come out to play when you do something that you have to power through like fitness goal. While oxytocin makes you bond with people and serotonin is a regulator. You get dopamine actually when you anticipate something. Why is this important to understand? Well this means there at least 4 different ways to be “happier”. Actually more because there are other chemicals in the brain that work to make you feel “good” but I won’t get into them all.

However this gets us to the next point I have. The happiness chemicals don’t work in the sense that we think that they do. Easy example would be serotonin. The chemical that makes you feel hungry and happy after you eat. (simplified a lot). So then you would think that food makes you happy. And it does, in a way. That is why it is easy to start over eating. Because who doesn’t like food. This means that we will get happy from over eating. And from expecting the food we get dopamine… but when have you ever hear about an actually happy food addict. Someone who is over weight is not happy. They might act happy with food in front of them but a little while after they eat they get sad and guilty and then there is the cycle. Eat be happy stop eating feel bad. What do you think we end up doing? … Yeah … eating some more.

So, if we think about happiness as the surge of chemicals and lack of happiness when chemicals aren’t having a party, this means we must always DO something, in order to be happy. BUT this is again where our brains will work against us. Because what better way than get a DOSE than to sit around all day, scroll the phone, order uber eats and then just do the same thing when you feel the guilt and self loathing raise? This is the reason “happiness” isn’t such a great concept and feeling good for a while doesn’t mean you are happy overall.

I suggest a very easy cure for you all who feel like happiness is always running away from you. Instead of grabbing that burger, phone, having sex(All of which are btw good things in moderation) What I suggest is making a list of things that make you feel good AND proud/fulfilled after you do it. Want to feel good about bonding with people? Help someone. Want to feel the anticipation of something? Try planning a trip or organize a get together with friends. Or try something new that you have never done before. The key is to feel good even after you are done doing it. Not that you have failed yourself. This takes away the huge crashes you might get.

So happiness isn’t only about getting some chemicals to party in your brain. You must also make them party in a good way, instead of making them feel hangover after 10 minutes. Doing good things, smart things will make you feel good for longer, because the memory of those good things will make you feel happy again instead of sad.

Now to the last but maybe the most important point: HAPPY isn’t the same thing as easy. Happy isn’t about getting the biggest hit of DOSE, often. It is about balancing out things. It is about making yourself proud, fulfilled. This is why I strongly suggest to run after fulfillment, about feeling good in a smart way. Running after happiness on its own is like running after someone who kisses you and then punches you right after it… and I don’t think that is a healthy relationship to be in. Even if its just inside our brains. Run after being fulfilled and proud of who you are. That will be more like running after someone who isn’t actually running away from you. They are just playing tag with you and once you catch them, they will kiss you and take you out on a date. (Better than the punch in the face right?)

What are the smart things that make you happy? What makes you fulfilled and proud of yourself after? If you have questions, about this or something else, let me know! I will be happy to try and answer or to even write a blog post on the topic!

Here are the resources I used for the blog: 4 Chemicals and Psychology Today Also don’t forget to check out the communities we have (and take part in them ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) over here:

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Xoxo, Alisa