Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books

What is the science of success?

Success seems to be this elusive, unidentified object that is always a little bit out of reach. You keep on running and all the time they change the place of the goal. Just when you think your are on the finish line some asshole just erases it and draws a new one.

New exam, new competition, new goal, new limit to what counts as financially successful! This is so frustrating, here you are ripping your hair out, because nothing you do seems to be enough. And the simple answer is…. it isn’t and it NEVER will be. Because, if you ask others what your success should be, they will always answer how they think their success should be, or what they have been told, their success should be. So number one goal, for YOUR success, is to figure out what it is for you.

Quote by Bo Bennett

Why I 100% believe that success is very subjective I do think there are certain things that all successful people, who also feel like they are successful, emulate.I have watched a lot of interviews of successful people and most of them have this recipe for success;

  1. Over come obstacles and push yourself to be better
  2. Be passionate about something to the point it is almost an obsession
  3. Help others
  4. Have fun with it
  5. Constantly grow and know thy self.

The Entrepreneur has a similar list to this. It goes like this:

  1. Create often
  2. Understand self
  3. Have fun
  4. Suspend judgments
  5. Seek challenges
  6. Pursue meaning
  7. Make change work for you
  8. Develop resilience
  9. Constantly improve

Why are these things that make people generally happy and successful? I would see this as the affects of the Hierarchy of Needs that Maslow has coined in a paper he wrote in 1943.

The hierarchy goes in a shape of a pyramid, having the most basic needs for survival on the bottom, as a foundation and getting more into the details of human fulfillment as we go up to the point of the pyramid.

The construction is as follows(from bottom to the top):

  1. Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest etc
  2. Safety needs: Security and safety
  3. Belonging and love: intimate relationships, friends
  4. Esteem needs: Prestige and feeling of accomplishment
  5. Self actualization: achieving ones’s full potential, including creative activities

What is my point with this? We often try to skip ahead on this pyramid. Obviously biologically we must take into account our need for food and safety, but what about love? Friends? Quite often when we speak of people who are monetarily successful, we hear of their break ups, hard marriages and so on. Often we are ready to compromise our relationships for money, and that in the end is what makes us ultimately fail. I also believe that we forget how much we love effort. Not too much effort. But just enough that we can feel proud in our achievements. This is why often someone who what the lottery and has nothing to do except burn money will find themselves depressed. They aren’t actualizing themselves.

Other peoples idea of success:

I asked on my LinkedIn couple of days ago, what is success to others. A lot of people said that helping others brings them the most joy. Of course doing things that are fun and well also having monetary success came through. This all in my opinion ties in quite nicely with this idea of hierarchy of needs. We want to help others, because it gives us the feeling of belonging and love, it helps give others security. We need the money in order to take care of Physiological needs, but it also often shows directly how much effort we have put into our work. A lot of answers to my positive surprise did realize that this money as a measure of success in the end isn’t that valuable.

My idea of success

I see success as over coming hardships and figuring things out. Living a life full of experiences and being surrounded by people that I love and care about. It is definitely full of laughter and sparks of inspiration. (This is why I write the blog) But there is still a lot of answers regarding success that I am missing. I am not quite sure yet what else I want to do apart writing my blog, if we think as a job. I mean blogging could be my job, I am not sure if that is all I want to do. I do want to help people and I want to have a job that no day is alike and that I keep growing and evolving. I know however that I get closer to fining out my version of success, and in the mean while I enjoy the ride. After all my success right now, isn’t the same as in 20 years. And that is OK to. Dreams, plans and you change with time, why wouldn’t your ideal version off success change too?

Want to read more posts relating to success? Read the post about #CHANGE, 5 Simple habits for guaranteed success , and this one on the mindset of success!

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Goals, Personal development

4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success!

So, there is only half a year of 2019 left. Have you done half of the things on your goals/to-do this year list? Chances are you haven’t and there are a lot of changes I haven’t made either. Even thought I was way more committed to change this year, that the years before.

One big goal that I have been able to work more on than previous years has been this blog. But even with the blog, I haven’t gotten as much forward as what I had hoped for. So now, I must plan things a bit better for the next half a year. Including all of the other goals/to-do’s I have.

How do we achieve these goals, even if we are late? How do we make sure that the mistakes we have made in the past 6 months (or more) don’t get repeated? Where to even begin? Especially if we have accumulated even more onto the to-do list? I will go through some ways I deal with this overwhelm and hope it helps you too.

How much time do you actually have?

Analyze how much time in reality do you have free. How much time is left, if you take away the hours you sleep, the time you eat, work and take care of kids or your parents etc.

For reference we have 168 hours in a week. With 8 hours of sleep a day it will take 56 hours away/ a week. In Finland on average we work 37.5 hours in a week. I don’t have kids but I spend time with friends, let’s say i want to spend at least 12 hours in a week with them. This means I still have 62,5 hours left over.

Let’s take 8 hours a week for social media (It is way more in reality currently, but I am allowed to aspire to do better!) This leaves 54,5 hours in a week for what ever I want to do/achieve. For now I should also write a thesis. On a good week I would write 10 hours. This leaves me with 44,5 hours a week.

This means I can work towards my goals for almost 2 full days, in a week. That is a decent amount with all of the other stuff I get done in a week. How many hours would you have left for goals, without excuses?

If you have 50 different goals. You have no hope what so ever to achieve any of them. So. Chose 2. that would leave you 22hours and 15 minutes per goal/ a week. Now if you still can’t reach your goals, check the next tip.

What has been the actual reason you haven’t done what you were supposed to?

Did you have a hard time with your partner? Did you feel overwhelmed? Did you bite a huge as piece at a time and now you can’t chew? What ever it is meditate/journal with this question in mind. Because we figured out before that you indeed have hours in the week. If you just make sure you use them smartly. So what is the real reason you achieve nothing or not as much as what you want?

Have one day a week (or even daily) routine to bullshit check.

How much did you actually spend on your phone. Did you agree to see all your friends this week for full days? Did you decide you were too lazy to wake up after the 8 hours of sleep? What could you have done differently to achieve the way of life you want to?

Whether you like it or not. You don’t have to relax by watching TV. A good book will do the same and you will even learn new things. 15 minutes worked towards your goal is better than none. Have this time for your to write down, all of the bs you have told yourself during this day/ week and do your best not to repeat this next week.

Lists, lists, lists baby!

Make lists of all of your goals and to-do’s. What are the ones you have to do? A thesis so you get to graduate? A work project so you get money money money? What are the goals you want to achieve that are not obligatory? If they don’t spark anything you you. If they feel like they were put on the list because it seems cool. Cross them out. Leave only the ones that make sense.

Now don’t be lazy. All of us want to rest a bit more in bed. All of us want to hang out more with our friends. But if we ask ourselves if we want to make our lives even better. Most of us say yes. (And the rest a 99% of the time in denial) Working towards the unknown doesn’t feel fun. But after you make the list and only put those goals onto it that feel yours. You should be good to go for the next 6 months.


I believe in everyone of you. I know that reaching goals is hard. I know that most of us have complicated lives. But we don’t have to add to the by being lazy/ coming up with excuses. Work your ass off and be happy in the moment be even happier in the next one when you get close to your goals!

Thanks for reading! Let me know what sparks inspiration in you? What would you be right now if your excuses wouldn’t be in the way! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on the socials! Until next time!

Xoxo, Alisa