Lessons in life

What should I do?

Endless questions day in and day out.  Should I travel to Thailand for a much needed stress free vacation? Should I go on that date? Do I even like this job? And so on and so on. I am sure you catch my train of thought. Well, what are you supposed to do when your mind is going 100 miles an hour and your body is stuck? There  was a great post on Psychology Today on this topic, and I will add some of my own ideas to it.

  1. Think of how you want to feel.  Sometimes a job seems like too true to be true but there is just this voice at the back of your head that is like: ” Ummmmm I am not so sure this is a good idea.” Don’t disregard that voice. Think about how you want to feel if you take that job. Is it that you want to feel like you are financial stable? Or is it that you want to feel like you job has purpose? If the job environment seems shit and you know you will lose your will to loose? Well no amount of money, is going to make you feel happy doing that job. (Do remember that no job is always fun. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made)
  2. What do you value the most? Look everyone has different ideas of what is fun and great. You might be ok working just for money because your side hustle keeps your soul happy.  And just because your parents or friends would like something doesn’t mean you have to.
  3. #Just do itLame, yes but yet so very true. I swear to you, not making a choice and being in this limbo of to do or not to do, is so much worse than a wrong choice. You have to accept this fact, that you do not always make the right choice. And that is okay. Look if you do the wrong choice, next time you will know better. At least with a wrong decision you have a change of taking an action to damage control. If you do nothing, you will notice that in the end, you have sailed with the current somewhere far far away from where you want to be. A wrong decision might be a step back, but it doesn’t stop you from taking steps forward after.
  4. Talk it out…notice it says OUT. Look yes you have a lot of thoughts and yes you may want to think everything through and think about all the options from A to Z… the thing is, most of the time if you just talk and talk and talk about the same issue with the people you ask advice from…. well it is because you want them to give the advice you want to hear. That way you don’t have to take the responsibility for what you are doing. And I am hear to give you a reality check (also known as a figurative bitch slap). No matter what someone tells you to do, it is YOU who makes the choice and thus it is YOU who is fully the blame. (Unless someone holds you at gun point, but that is black mail, and that’s just something totally different)
  5. Sleep on it and then trust your gut. Just because something looks good on paper doesn’t meen that it is actually good. Research everything and figure out if what the paper says is actually true. After sleeping on it, with all the information you have how does this thing feel? Does it feel right? Is it something you want to do? If yes go for it. If no, say no. But do not be a “no man” just because you are scared. Learn to differentiate between fear that is just because of your limiting believes and fear that is so crippling that, you know, if you do what you are thinking of doing will kill you.

Action is the best way to figure things out. It doesn’t matter if it is about a life path, job, family  or choices that are smaller. It is rare that people do such huge mistakes that they can’t turn their life around later on. I for one rather go to the wrong direction than just stay always where I am and wither like a plant after a while.

Hope you liked this post and please don’t hesitate to comment, it’d be much appreciated.

-Alisa

Personal development

Make a decision and stick to it

I know what you are thinking. Thanks Alisa, that helped a lot. I sure as hell didn’t think you could have said anything more basic. And to that I will say, chill my friend. Just stick along and for what I have to say.

I am currently reading a book by Anthony Robbins; The Giant Within. Technically I am listening to it but you get my point. I am just starting up, but I am now in the part where he speaks about making decisions and how the choices we make can impact our whole life. But he makes a distinction between just a choice to see how things go and making a conscious decision to work for something. He goes as far as to state and we are so un used to making decisions we get lazy with it. That is why making a difficult important decision is so hard. And this got me thinking, how long I have lived my life in a way of just letting the current take me where it wants to.

What is Robbins idea for making our decision making muscle grow? Practice of course. Start making small decisions and sticking with them. You can do a big and a small decision just to see how it feels. And practice until you making a life changing decision won’t seem like “Oh well, but I wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.” Hell yeah you can, if you chose to do it.

I haven’t gotten further in the book, but I assume that Tony will talk about this at some point. I will still mention this as a thought. It isn’t enough to decide that I want thing A or I want to reach a million followers or what ever it is that your goal is. I would assume that a real decision requires action. You decide to do everything in your power to reach that goal, that idea, that step in your life.

How would this look in practice? I would think that not only do you decide what you want to do you make decisions on how to make it work and take action. Let’s try to see with an example shall we.  Let’s say you want to be a business owner:

  1. Decide what business you would want to own. Personal Development? Helping people find their missing relatives? What ever it is, just chose that.
  2. Decide to research the crap out of that topic. What type a business should it be. How much money to invest. How to market this project.
  3. Decide and make a email list, to whom you tell about this opportunity. (Beneficial if they are your targeted audience.
  4. Decide to invest, and do it.
  5. Start making daily decisions that make it possible to work on your business. If you are broke and investing right away isn’t a choice, make a decision to find a job to help pay for your dreams.
  6. Baby steps, even small decisions can have a big impact.

As always thank you for reading. If you have read the book please let me know what you thought  and if you want to read the book or listen to it you can find it online 🙂

-Alisa

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