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Tag: change

Positivity doesn’t equal being delusional

#Bodypositivity #deathpositive #drugpositve #serialkillerpositve. FIRST THINGS FIRST

I AM part of the positivity movement. I AM a positive person. I AM a fucking spiritual person who believes in Law of Attraction (we can debate that another time) but I AM NOT delusional. And you shouldn’t be either.

Being positive about something doesn’t mean you should close your eyes from facts. If I get run over by a car, no amount of Law of Attraction will stop me from dying if my injuries are fatal.

No amount of body positivity will take away your risks of heart failure or joint failure if you are obese. NOW before you start attacking me ever so “politely” in the comments saying I shame people. Absolutely I do not. If you are happy in your body and you accept the health risks, or you aren’t happy and you work hard to make sure you turn your life around. I will treat you the same. But please for the love of God do not tell people bullshit stories about how no matter what you can be healthy and that no matter what positivity is 100% the answer.

If drug positivity or alcohol positivity, serial killer positivity etc etc etc would be movements we wouldn’t stand by them. The word positivity isn’t going to change the result of something.

Where does positivity 100% make a great impact?

When you have a positive mindset about being able to change your life for the better. When you talk positively about people to people, and don’t concentrate on other peoples shortcomings, what ever those are. Taking the time to see the good in the world. The beautiful fucking butterfly, the cute ass dog/cat. Meditating while believing that this day is going t be great and taking the time and effort to see the positive things in your day. This will make life amazing. It will give you power, instead of taking away the power. It will make sure that you can be proactive instead of reactive.

Positivity shouldn’t be a cover up. You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you are depressed. But you don’t have to start a “depression positive” movement, to counter act that having a depression is a serious issue. If you are depressed you should seek help, it can be a friend, family member or someone with a medical degree. The word positive doesn’t erase the original meaning of the world.

Great idea, but what about the implimentation?

Body positivity is a great movement. Shaming anyone for having a different body that someone else, is a despicable thing to do. A) When you shame someone you hurt them and they retreat into their shell and can end up being even more unhealthy. B) Shaming and scaring people isn’t going to make them change, that is why horrible pictures on cigarette packets don’t make people want to quit smoking.

So should we incorporate more positivity into the world of fitness? Yes. You don’t have to be size 0 to be healthy. You don’t have to have six pack abs. You don’t have to have the same goal as me or a body builder. But you should do everything in power of being “health positive”. Health doesn’t look the same for everyone. But there are limits to what healthy is, and we should be aware of that. No matter how much it sucks that burgers aren’t healthy, that sugar doesn’t have any nutritional value or that if you don’t move you are in a way bigger risk for different health issues.

Ending on a positive note 😉

I love all people. No matter shape, size, color, religion, sexual orientation, gender and all of the other ways people can be shamed. I also happen to love the power we have as people to make changes in our lives. It requires effort, and it take time to change your life. But no matter what you can do it. You just have to see a reason for it. And living a fulfilling, long life with meaning and great experiences, seems like a good fucking reason to do it… wouldn’t you say?

Leave a comment bellow with your opinions on it. Let’s have this conversation. Let’s be positive yet realistic about it! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on my social media and join the community <3

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How not to let regrets take charge of your life?

I asked you guys on Twitter what you guys wanted to read and my General Regrets suggestion won. I am not big on writing posts that just state things and don’t teach anything. So on top of talking about some of my regrets I will talk about how to not let them over power your life. Sounds good? Yeah, I thought so too. Let’s go!

Regrets are an interesting thing. Because quite often we are the ones to blow them out of proportion. We just ruminate on the same fucking topic without realizing that, no matter what the choice we made was. We can get past it an move on. ( I mean unless you killed someone… then I have some questions, but… yeah.) We all make mistakes and have regrets (yes, even those people who say they regret nothing and show crude signs to hide their pain)

My regret number 1:

I didn’t study as well as I should have/ could have. I have always been an average student. I didn’t bother to study because why put in the effort if I get OK grades anyway? But now I see how learning to learn before, learning subjects in more detail, would have given me more leverage now. I would be able to write better now, I would be able to connect dots better now and so on.

How to deal with this regret? Accept that you could have been more mature and less lazy. It is a fact and no matter how much you blame the teacher, school etc. Doesn’t take away the power that you could have put in more effort. Instead of whining and going out with friends to whine, you could have studied. Just 15 minutes or 30 minutes more. Now that you take responsibility for your actions. Make sure you make different choices now. Read the book because the topic is UNKNOWN to you. Not because it is your preference. Make notes on podcasts and seminars, don’t assume you will remember things. With the magic of internet you can learn everything you skipped before. It is just harder now. It take time from other things. But if you think it will add your life value… why the heck wouldn’t you do it? Right?

My regret number 2:

I trusted people blindly. I am not saying you shouldn’t trust people. You 100% should trust those who are close to you. And it is their shame if they betray it. If you never trust anyone you will live a very fearfull, lonely life. However, always telling everything about you to people and letting them in without having any idea who they are as people… don’t do that. A lot of people were able to hurt me this way.

How to deal with it? Accept that you put your trust in the wrong place. Accept that you were hurt. And forgive those people. Because we all end up hurting someone at some point in our lives. And while you don’t owe anyone to forgive them. You will feel way way more light about yourself if you let the hate and anger go. So forgive them for their mistakes and forgive yourself for not seeing the signs.

My regret number 3

Being too sensitive and wanting a lot of attention. When I was younger I would get hurt easily. Not really because people saying things would necessarily actually hurt me. But if I cried I’d get attention. This lasted a long long time. I am not sure when I stopped caring about attention. And honestly it probably doesn’t go 100% of the time ever. But when I was younger it was way worse than now. This affected my friendships and relationships a lot. Mostly this harmed me. But it ended up hurting others as well. I was an easy pray for bullying because I would cry so easily and the worst, most idiotic thing was I wasn’t even hurt at first. It only later on became an issue when I adopted the pain that the bullies were trying to inflict on me.

How to deal with this? I just accept I was childish and dumb. I tried to get attention in the wrong way and now I know better. I am way more confident and I live my life on my own terms. I feel embarrassed about that time of my life but I can’t change it now, so I make sure to live my life to the fullest now, concentrating on making myself proud, not making others see me.

Getting stuck in your regret is like going the wrong way, and instead of making a course correction, just stopping moving all together.

Me

My regret number 4:

Not traveling on my free time as much as I would have wanted. Fear is a interesting thing. I loved traveling with my parents but planning a trip on my own or with friends I always met myself with a block. Instead of using my money on candy and soda, I could have seen the world… How dumb.

How to deal with this? Well, we can’t always do best of choices. I have improved with this as I have been in exchange twice and I have planned more trips. I will save more money for more trips and will make sure to appreciate each trip I get to make, even more since it is my dream to travel as much as possible.

My regret number 5

We have come a full circle. I mentioned not studying that well and regreting that. But there is especially one part of studies that I regret more than most things and it sucks. And it is languages. Now I am actually decent in languages. I know , English, Finnish, Russian and French. I am pretty much fluent in all of these to varying degrees. Best in English and Finnish. But I could have worked a bit harder and maybe now I would be able to speak more languages.

How to deal with this? I can’t do more than to just work on languages more now. It isn’t the end of the world. I still have time to learn languages. It might now be as easy as before but I can do it. And so can you.

Conclution

We all have regrets in our lives. Some bigger some smaller and it is ok. We are able to live with our past choices, learn from them and move on. Instead of hitting your head against the wall because “Why bang was bang I bang so bang stupid bang” Doesn’t change the reality of those events. Nor does it improve your future. What will change your future and make sure you live a better and more fulfilling life is if you let go and move on. Not everyone will be able to let go your mistakes if they were involved but that isn’t any longer your concern. Living forward is the only possible way to go. So we get to grow and make and impact with our lives, and make it a positive one for ourselves and for others.

Thank you for reading. Hope this was interesting and helpful. Make sure to learn from your mistakes and move forward. Sometimes things seem worse than they actually are. So breath, move on. Grow. Leave comment to let me know your regrests or if you share some of mine 🙂

Xoxo, Alisa

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Counter-intuitive ways of forming/changing Habits

So everyone all the time talk about habits and forming or changing them and let me just tell you I am such a addict when it comes to reading about people and their habits and routines and so on. There is nothing more satisfying as seeing someone have their lives together… well maybe having your own life together would be more satisfying…. hmmmmm…. Anywhoo, I have listed 5 counter-intuitive ways of forming and or changing habits down below, so let’s start!

  1. Don’t plan as much. Yes I have mentioned this before. This is something that quite many high performing business people talk about. There is a gap often between planning and taking action. It is called analysis paralysis. We just plan the day by the minute, then realize we have way too much planned or we spent the whole time planning and now its already 12 am and we should have been asleep hours ago. This also works when planning on habits you want to incorporate into your life and how. Yes plan your habits and see where they fit, but don’t over do it. Habit is something you do, not something you plan… just saying.
  2. The easier something is to do, the more likely you are to do it….But I disagree on the effectiveness in some cases (or maybe it is just me). This is something also suggested in detail in Atomic Habits by James Clear. I just started this book but its amazing and I’m like half way through. And while in general I agree on this advice, I have noticed certain instances that the opposite works. For example, when I planned on using my nearest gym…. that is literally like a 200m walk from my house (About 656ft) I wouldn’t go there…like ever. I had this mentality of since its so close I can go when ever so now I don’t have to. And honestly this changed when I started to go to the gym further away. It became more of an actual routine because I had to make an effort and make sure I took into consideration the walking time there and back. Since I don’t know if there are any studies done on this topic, I can’t say if this is an normal phenomenon or if I am just peculiar… I am probably just peculiar, but leave a comment down bellow if this sounds familiar
  3. Don’t think about the end goal. This is also something that is discussed in the book Atomic Habits. I find this very fascinating but I do understand the logic. If you want habits that stick, you shouldn’t think about the end goal. It shouldn’t be that I want to weight X amount of kg or pounds. Because what happens to the habits you have built when you reach that “magical” number. Big chance is you lose those habits. However if you focus on becoming a healthy person. You will continue doing certain habits just because a healthy person does them. This means that instead of concentrating on goals you should concentrate on your identity and instead of just thinking about your habits think of systems you can set in place to make sure those habits work. James Clear explains this better than I ever could, so read the book. However, I will try to give an example. I want to wake up at 5 am. This is a habit I want to have. A system for it, would be having two alarms both at the other side of the room that I have to go and turn off. But this is not enough. Now that I have turned them of, while I am already standing I have to go to the bathroom do my business there and wash my face, so I wake up. After this I go back to my room. Open my blinds, make bed and this is important; I meditate on the floor/chair NOT on the bed. Because otherwise I fall asleep again. This is a system that ensures I wake up and get up at 5 am.
  4. Don’t beat yourself over if you are failing in doing something you told yourself to-do. Studies have found that people are more likely to make positive change when they get positive information about that change. And if they have a possibility of being better than someone else. So for example; if you have a calendar and you mark with an x all the days you haven’t smoked, you are more likely to keep up with that since you have a streak (side note, this is why Snapchat worked so well ;D) If you have an app that tells you that people A and B are doing 50% better than you on said habit, you will be more likely to improve your score so that you get as good of a grade or better as them. This also means that instead of telling yourself that you are an idiot. Just notice that you are breaking your streak. Or others can do better than you. This will make it easier for you to get back on track with your habits. Here is a link to the ted talk on this subject TED talk and again Atomic Habits talks about this as well.
  5. Last but not least. If you want to stop doing something. Don’t stop it cold turkey. Or if you do stop something right in that second, substitute it with another habit. For example if you have a habit of biting or fiddling with your nails. In order to stop if, get a stress toy. This way you can still do something with your hands (and studies show it isn’t actually as bad as we were lead to believe…just for the love of God, don’t let it be a clicker pen or I might just have to attack you….) This will make sure you will stop ruining your nails and it won’t rely on you to be disciplined. It is hard to be disciplined with habits that are unconscious, nail biting often is.

So here are the 5 ways to form and/ or change habits that are counter intuitive. I hope you liked the post and please comment bellow the one that seemed to make most/least sense to you.If you have questions or post ideas don’t hesitate to ask!

Also here is a link to a poll on twitter that I formed that decides the post I will be writing for Thursday, make sure to cast your vote! Twitter Poll

Don’t forget to follow on the socials and let’s form a community of Change!

Xoxo, Alisa

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5 simple habits for guaranteed success

Let’s get some things very clear. You have to work your ass off for success. It is NOT an easy journey, so if you are searching for hacks to make you successful right now… you are in the wrong place my friend. However if you want to improve you journey and you want to start hustling, let’s get to the juicy part!

Number 1:

Sleep. Doctors, most of the high performing and successful people talk about the importance of sleep. About 7-8 hours is what I usually hear that is recommended. At some point during a holiday for example, you could try and test what this time is for you. Say you always go to sleep at 22. What time do you wake up naturally, without an alarm. At first you will probably sleep in quite late ( depends on how much you have to catch up on) But at some point you will notice a pattern in when you wake up. That way you know about how many hours you sleep. ( It isn’t plausible for everyone to wake up without an alarm, especially if you work, that is why it is so important to do this experiment while you are on a vacation :D)

Number 2

Don’t let things slide man. I know how easy it is. I instead of saying this for 30 min like I said I would 25, is good enough. Instead of doing 3 sets like I said I would 2 is good enough. Sometimes you honestly do have to listen to your body. And do what it tells you to. BUT not as a routine. You have to follow through your promises to yourself. First of all it will make you feel good about who you are. If you say you will do something you freaking do it! And then the second part is that the more you take short cuts the easier it is to always take short cuts. It will also should in your results. So quit failing yourself. Read the damn 30 minutes.

Number 3

Keep everything at the place that is made for it. If it doesn’t have a place and there is no space for it… why do you have it? Do you ACTUALLY need it? Look the more stuff you have the more organization you have to do. The more organization you have to do, the more chances there is that you won’t do it and your whole office (and life) is a huuuuge as mess… well that is the way of life. Own less, you lose less.

Number 4

Have a weekly check up with yo self. Look sister or mister, I know, you planned the week out REALLY well. It was like 10/10 on the organization- o -meter…. buuut how well did you actually execute on this list? Did you time table hold up? Did your mental health hold up? Did you have time to pet your dog? You didn’t?! How dare you be so cruel to your dog!?! In all seriousness thought. Making plans is just the 20% of the work. Doing them is about 20% and then 60% is figuring out if you actually did well with your plans, so you can make better plans in the future.

Number 5

Take care of your own damn self. I have said it before and I will say it again. You will never be useful if you are dead. I mean ofc you can haunt the bad guys, but lets first change the world for the better and then haunt the rest of the assholes OK? So make taking care of yourself a habit. Skin care, meal prep, fitness, reading spirituality (even if you don’t identify as religious/spiritual you can take care of yourself spiritually, it could be meditating, going out into the nature, what ever makes you feel at peace with yourself you can just call it mental health care, I don’t give a rats ass, just take care of your self OK?!)

SO here is today’s post. I am sure the tone of voice is a bit different. I let a bit more of Alisa out to play (aka my crazy ass personality) so hope you enjoyed. Once in a while she will come out and do her thing. I also love being more professional and more researched so don’t worry, this ain’t the only way I act!

Thank you all for reading and don’t forget to comment and leave a like! I appreciate you all and hope you have a great weekend!

Xoxo, Alisa

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5 Personal Development Journaling Prompts

I have written a blog post about this a while ago. But I feel that this is so important that I want to do it again. And hopefully I add even more ideas and value to you guys 🙂

  1. Write about the perfect life in your eyes. How would you feel about yourself. What would you do. Who would you spend time with. How would you bring value to the world. What would your salary be. Every single little detail. Write it out. And then start taking action, even if just a small little step like reading about the industry you want to work in or if you already have a degree sending out a well planned job application.
  2. Write about what you have learned this day. It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant, because we obviously aren’t going to learn the same amount daily. Some days we actually have a course we attend or a lecture, while others we scroll internet for the whole day (yea…I see you 😀 ) This will help make you see you are actually evolving and especially so, if you make learning your priority n.1 and you go out of your way to have something new to tell your dear diary (yes the boys too, everyone gotta learn. If you want to keep it masculine get a blue one. If you like pink 😉 nothing wrong with a bit of pink with glitter :D)
  3. Write out the amazing and positive stuff. Yes, even if your day sucked. Don’t write about the negativity (at least not on the norm) Your brain will remember the negative shit anyway. But write out the positive. Even if it is; well I got a parking spot fast. Yes, it counts as a positive.
  4. Journal of all of the opportunities you said yes to and no to. This way you can track if you are too much of a yes-person or a no person. If you always say no, you will realize that you might miss out on stuff (smart no saying is essential tho) and if you say yes too much, you aren’t reliable because you have to go back on your promises and that is worse than just saying no right away.
  5. Keep a goal journal. Write about how you achieve the goal. What you did right/wrong. What didn’t go as you assumed. Write what steps seem to repeat themselves no matter the goal. Make sure to keep it positive, the idea is to make yourself see the goals you have accomplished. This will give you the boost you need when you get into the dark place of ” I never do anything right”. BUT be realistic. If you could have reached that goal in half the time if you have been more disciplined. Write that. It’s still great that you achieved it and you should feel proud. But you have to learn from each goal, to make it easier next time, because you are prepared.

Whoop Whoop keep lets get it! I would love for you to tag me into pictures when you write these. On instagram @changedlife365 and on twitter same @changedlife365! Lets go let go lets go! I’m so excited for this! I really think these are great topics to write about. It can be daily, like with the positivity prompt or once in a while like the goals prompt. Make it your own!

Don’t forget to join the community: : FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

Have an amazing week <3

Xoxo, Alisa

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Confidence ≠ extrovert

I feel like there is a huge misunderstanding about who extroverted people are and who introverted people are and whether or not you can succeed if you are introverted. First of all, yes you definitely have to succeed. And you don’t have to change who you are in order to please others.

I am not going to deny that you need to be able to talk with people if you want success but sometimes being introverted actually helps with that. You are more likely to listen and wait for others to tell you about themselves and speak their mind. This gives you a chance to learn a huge amount of new things and on top of that it will make you very likable because you probably remember better what they said, since you aren’t just waiting to say something in return.

Being confident and being extremely outgoing isn’t a synonym to being confident. There are a lot of people who hide behind being a “clown” and making others just laugh all the time, so they don’t let people too close (This is me quite often, I’m better than I used to be but still). I honestly do think of myself as pretty confident but it is not an over all confidence. I have those areas about me that I know I am strong with and those that really really need help. A lot of it!

But this is to everyone not only to you who are shy and are afraid that you can’t be confident but also for you who are loud and think you have all going for you. Both have work to do. Both of you go and grab some paper and a pencil. And seriously take 30 minutes right now to write what is special and great about you , your skills, your ways of thinking, how you treat others and so on (the answer there is nothing good about me is not acceptable by the way). After you have written and thought about your strengths think of how you can use them to your advantage.

And your strong points don’t actually have to be your future job. Just because you are good in math, doesn’t mean you need to become a mathematician. Maybe you will start a business about something totally different, because you are curious about that other topic and want to learn more, but your math skills help you with the financial aspects. Maybe you are a great communicator but instead of becoming the communication expert at your company you actually start a blog business, etc etc.

Your skills aren’t set in stone, you can hone anything and make it better and stronger and more valuable to those who you want to serve. BUT remembering your unique skills, ways of thinking and so on, will help you build confidence that is a key for success, whether you are the person making everyone laugh, or you are the person asking if someone is OK because you remember them talking about a tough time from last week.

Neither option is a bad one, nor are they as clear cut as I made in this blog post. Anyone who meets me will tell you that I am an extrovert. And I absolutely need the contact with people and I love making others laugh and to talk with people for hours. But I hate parties that are extremely loud, and if I spend a long time with a lot of people I need a day or two to recharge.

As always thanks for reading! Can’t wait to hear from you! And I will leave all of my social media communities linked below!

If you haven’t yet, join the Changed Life Facebook community. The goal is to keep up a conversation and help one another! Link is here: FB ChangedLife
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5 ways to feel rested with no napping

So you have a huge to do list to complete and you really want to sleep, but you know you can’t because there would be no power in the whole world that would get you out of bed if you’ll lay on it? Yeah, I know that feeling all too well. As a student… let’s just say it is almost a daily struggle. So what to do? I have seriously quite many ideas for you but since I know you are supposed to be working/ studying right now, I will give you five. Maybe we can make this into a series if you feel interested 😉

  1. Get up and do some jumping jacks or push ups or just walk. Honestly I know this feels like the dumbest thing ever. What, I’m supposed to do fitness stuff when I want to sleep. Yeah not gonna happen. But honestly you don’t have to do it for hours. Just a couple of movements and a little bit of stretching will get your blood pumping and your heart beating and the best part is since you are moving your brain gets activated because it is getting a signal that stuff is happening. So, move you booty!
  2. Go make yourself a tea or coffee, eat some fruit. This is helpful again because you actually move, you get some nutrients in ya that you brain might just like, annnnd you get to do something else than just stare at the screen or book, without actually understanding shit. But after the pause actually get back to work….no honestly, yeah… I see you on the Instagram… you can’t fool me. I’m the queen of procrastination, I know whats going down when no ones watching.
  3. Chew gum. It activates your brain more because again you are actually doing something. Don’t over do it. But especially if you know you have to remember something, chew gum and use the same flavor in the exam. 😉
  4. Make a realistic to do list. And this is kind of a tip for before you even start working. In the morning (or the night before) you think you are a superwoman(or man) and you can get anything done. Writing a report in 5 minutes? No problem! Then the next day you look at the 50 item to-do list and you start snoring before you finish reading it… So actually make it realistic.
  5. Meditate, journal and/or do some breathing exercises. This make you get to the present moment. To some this will sound very spiritual, but honestly it is just as well psychological. (If you want to make it spiritual be my guest, I myself do it so) How ever if you aren’t into the “voovoo” stuff; here is how I would do it. I would sit down, put calm nature/classical music on and concentrate on the breathing. Nothing more nothing less. This makes you calm down your nervous system and makes you more creative and relaxed. This in turn especially if you make it a routine makes you, more productive. Journaling is also great because it releases all of your brain space. Instead of having 50 things in your mind, you know you have it written down and you can get back to it later, and surprisingly enough you don’t get tired as easily. Why? Because you aren’t busy trying to make you brain shut up. Ever had those moments of writing an essay and having to constantly tell yourself to stop thinking about xyz and no you don’t have to do that other task now rather than writing etc. All of this is by the way also proven scientifically, so go ahead give it a try!

As you might have noticed none of these tips were how to miraculously work through 48 hours and not sleep at all. What this was; plan things smarter and take smart breaks not to be dead. It seriously does work. So go and have a try. Oh and make sure not to disregard these tips because you can’t apply them 100% If you work a very busy job while going to the bathroom do a breathing exercise, or on the bus. If you can go get a cup of coffee, stand up at you desk. If nothing else with a pretense of searching for a paper etc. You can always do something for self-care. And if your company doesn’t allow that, trust me when I say you can find better. Maybe not right now, but you can.

As always thanks for reading and comment down below if you want to ask something or add something!

If you haven’t yet, join the Changed Life Facebook community. The goal is to keep up a conversation and help one another! Link is here: FB ChangedLife
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Think less, achieve more!

Contradicting queen in da house! How could this be accurate? Well, in multiple ways actually. You know feeling you have of wanting to plan things to the t, make everything perfect. But you actually never start executing?

If you want to get a six-pack, think less of the how. Let’s be honest here; you have already read all the info on how to do it. And you know there is no shortcut sooo; Now you just go and fucking do it. Will you fail? Yes. Depending on who you are maybe a couple of times or maybe even more times. Then you learn what food amount and exercise amount works for you. And I know this might come as a shock to you (not really) but you can’t know if a routine/food etc. works for you before giving it a try. Just by thinking about getting abs, isn’t going to cut it (Sorry to break it to you)

How else are we more likely to achieve more if we think less? Well, let’s stick with the six-pack example. If we are obsessively checking ourselves in the mirror and on the scale, going to the gym 5 times a day and eating 12 eggs breakfast, lunch and dinner… Our results will be; early grave. (Was I exaggerating a little or what…?!)

Instead of just thinking of why things aren’t changing and what to do to make it happen faster, we just concentrate on working out routinely, fueling our body to the best of our abilities and having fun on the daily, our months go by so much faster, and then seeing the results come to us way faster (well it feels that way, because if you wait for something it usually feels like an eternity)

Why not thinking about it makes it feel like comes faster: Well, if you everyday look at your body and expect a change, you just won’t see it (even if it had changed) and this will make you feel disappointed and make you more likely to quit. Now there are ways of making you see change better, by taking before and after pictures etc. I will write about that another time. But if you concentrate on how things aren’t changing and think of they ways to make it happen fast, you can actually make things worse for yourself. For example like starting a fad diet that messes up your metabolism, or just getting very depressed because nothing changes.

Now, this is all is not to say you can’t be working hard towards you goals. Absolutely work hard af. BUT, don’t get stuck on it. You have a goal, you know you work hard for it. And you make good, healthy and realistic steps to achieve it? Great that is all you can do right now. Now just relax and enjoy the process. It will all come to you, whether its a six-pack, a great job or anything else you are working towards.

Xoxo

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Changes Changes Changes!

I always make sure I keep changing things up. Whether it is my room or my style a bit or my blog. Now I haven’t made any visual changes because I actually quite like it. My goal at some point is to take my own pictures for my blog, but that I know will happen at some point.

What has changed now: “Drum rollllll” is that I have a Facebook group for us life changers! I love love love the idea of many people talking about books read, goals achieved and life changes they are planning on making/ or have made. I just find the energy in that so freaking positive and uplifting I can’t even begin to explain my excitement. This how ever doesn’t work if you guys don’t get into the groove as well. Let’s build our own little community (and big one day) that help each other reach their dreams and goals.

I have often felt like I don’t really have this community for personal development with people who have the same goals. So if you feel the same and want to surround yourself with like minded people come and hit me a like! Here: ChangedLife365

There are also other links to my social media and to the Facebook page that you find in the upper right corner. Go and follow and let’s have communities there as well! Can’t wait till we grow as a community and share out thoughts and ideas with everyone.

Warning n.1 This page is a safe place for everyone. No matter your sexuality, gender, religion, race etc. As long as you don’t try to push any other agenda apart for personal development, we are all good.

Warning n.2 This page is not a pity party. I don’t think it serves anyone to talk about how everything is going bad and how change is hard. Ofc it is. Your brain works against you, your circumstances might be shit and the idea of getting up from bed sucks. But if you are expecting me to just tap you on the head and say I understand… this is not going to be the place for you (sorry) You must really be serious about change.

Can’t wait to hear from all of you! And hope we get a bomb ass conversation started! Good luck to all on your journeys and lets share it others who are just as determined!

xoxo

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Boredom leads to death

Paint this picture in your mind. You are just sitting around a campfire and you are listening to the chirping of the evening birds, you hear the crickets singing and the fire crackling? Now, most of you will be like that sounds like a calm, romantic and nice environment to be in. And I agree with it 100%. However, if you would be there with your phone, a possibility to watch a film even read a book, would you despite all those distractions concentrate on nature and the moment? I would bet on no. And calm your horses, I know you would want to say that you would enjoy the moment. I know you would want to say you are strong enough to ignore the automatic curiosity your brain has to check that bling on your phone. But you (probably)wouldn’t and nor would I (unless I really put my mind to it)

Would you just sit and listen to a fire crackling and birds chirping?

The reason I am talking about this is that in society today it is more appreciated that you react to that bing and answer the email right away. It is cool to have an Instagram account and post every 5 minutes. And since this is the norm, our brain, that is formed so that we are easily bored, to adapt the fastest, now is bored with those things that make us healthier.

It has been proven by various studies that even just a little walk in nature will lower your stress. For one of the most recent examples science daily has posted a report 6th of July 2018. The report is based on gathered evidence from over 140 studies with more 290 million people included.  “The report reveals that expose to greenspace, reduces the risk of type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, premature death, preterm birth, stress, and high blood pressure” To read in more, visit here: ScienceDaily. So, what happens when we are bored with the most natural aspects of life?  When we must have some kind of noise on the daily? To have music on when you get dressed, take your phone with you to the bathroom, because you are too bored to take a fucking shit without having something to check all the time. What does this lead to?

Death.

I don’t mean the literal kind where you raise the stairs to say good day to St. Peter or where the lights are turned off or whatever you believe is death. Though it leads to it indirectly. But what I mean is the death where you don’t enjoy life, being depressed or just existing without purpose. Isn’t it disturbing that we see breathing unimportant? Sure, we will think about it if we can’t take a breath. But what about enjoying breathing during a crisp winter morning or the smell of petrichor; the sent right after the rain.  Instead of going through the emotions about your family member passing away you feel you owe to tell it to your followers. And instead of those followers living and feeling their own lives they feel they have the right to demand of you to tell your private lives for thousands of people just because they are bored with their own lives. Bored with the silence. Bored of not having attention from others.


Boredom is simply the absence of an interesting perspective. 

Brandon A. Trean

If day in and day out your brain is used to watching constantly new videos, pictures, and memes or whatever else you come up with. It gets used to it. The brain becomes bored with the constant similarity of listening to birds or the wind in the trees or whatever else because it becomes too “boring”. The thing is that in the past having a concentration that is broken fast by a twig breaking under an animal’s foot etc. But even then, people were able to stay focused and do “boring” things all the time. Have you ever gone berry gathering? That is boring and hard, but you had to do it to have food. So how was it that people then were able to do it but now it is way too difficult to even have silence in the room for 5 minutes? Or not have content to feed on?

As I am not a health professional I would suggest you do an honest check with yourself and see a doctor if you feel like you are addicted to your phone/Internet. There are a lot of health issues linked to internet addiction, like being more depressed, more anxious and even aggressive. And on top of this there are many ways of being addicted online, being a shopaholic, feeling the constant need to be social; with the fear, of missing out if you don’t check Facebook.

If you were already calming yourself up thinking that you aren’t addicted because you would never be interested in something as stupid as Facebook, wait up. I will disrupt your calm. If you are constantly researching things online, watching to educational videos that can be an addiction as well, and since it is technically productive it feels like it can’t be a bad thing. But just like you can be addicted to going to the gym in an unhealthy manner or feeling you must restrict eating even after you’ve lost weight already, you can be addicted to research. To read more about this addiction visit: Mentalhealthamerica


Photo by Daniel Korpai on Unsplash

You must retrain your brain to be ok with the silence. To concentrate on one thing for hours. The issue is that if you want to develop yourself you must become comfortable with what today we see as boring. You might need to learn a presentation so by heart that even if someone interrupts it you will be able to answer the question and continue. You might be a dancer and need to train for hours so you finally master something. Or you might have forgotten that those things you are bored with now, used to fill you with joy. The calm romantic evening around a campfire. The walking in the forest, without the phone or the camera without any company. Just you.

Even for the basic day to day life. You must learn to make sure your brain is ok with silence. If going to nature is so healthy for us, but we feel bored doing it, we won’t go. And that will cause huge risks for us. Not only with considering the stress factor but also fitness and getting cleaner air.

One of my biggest fears is to wake up one day and not want to do anything but lay in bed and scroll Instagram. To find it too difficult to get up to get out for a walk. To hate doing the basic things to such an extent I would rather be on the phone watching others live their lives while I waste away and die. Boredom, trying to get a quick fix of whatever instant gratification you have chosen can lead to actual premature death. Whether this is due to overeating and not moving or becoming depressed enough due to self-comparison you end up killing yourself. Or it can be less dramatic at this moment, it could just mean wasting your life away and regretting it on your death bed. And that freaks the crap out of me. Living 80+ years (if I get that far) and regretting my life.

What is your biggest fear? What is it that you spend the most time doing online? So much so that it ends up affecting how much actual work you get done in a day? If you feel like you need help please seek help. Sometimes, however, we can figure these things on our own, if we see the issues early enough. Then we must work hard on disrupting out patterns. So, I challenge all of you who spend way too much time online, to go and do 5 push ups every time you feel like reaching for your phone/computers or if you realize you are scrolling mindlessly already. Once 5 push-ups get too easy (or if it is easy already) push yourself further. We can change our lives and make it interesting putting some effort into things we do. And pushing ourselves to enjoy the silence and appreciate it as well will help enjoy our lives.

One of my biggest goals is to become proud of myself and of what I’ve been able to achieve by pushing myself. Therefore personal development and learning about successful people has become so addicting for me. I shouldn’t confuse inspiration for action. Therefore I write these posts, and this is why especially today’s topic was so important for me. What is your biggest current goal? And what is the one thing that is standing in your way, regarding your habits/addictions?

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to comment below, let’s have a conversation! 🙂

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