We love to question the world. Why are there stars, how did everything start? What happens if I do this, and so on. But I suggest that for now, slow down, and start questioning yourself.
I have been searching for myself for quite a while now. I continue to do so. And I have found that there are a couple of questions that when directed at myself, help me understand who I am and what I want better. I am still confused and lost and wondering around this planet feeling like there is so much to understand but it has gotten easier.
- How do I want to feel? This isn’t my idea. This idea belongs to an author and entrepreneur Danielle LaPorte. She coins this idea in her book The Desire Map. What the book is about, is finding out what your own core desires are. The feelings you want your goals to give you. I haven’t read this book yet, but from the interviews I have listened to, it makes sense. (The book is definitely on my to- read list)
- How do I want others to see me? This might seem to be counter productive, I mean it has become a boom to not give a flying f*** about what others say or think. But really if you want people to see you as a productive person, what can you do for that be productive. Would you want others to perceive you as productive and hard working if you didn’t want to be those things? Probably not. This doesn’t mean that you should do what others want you to do. But find out who you want others to see you as and you might find a couple of answers of who you feel you are.
- What are my thoughts, what aren’t? Sometimes we mix our own thoughts with other peoples?. Not because they force us to agree on something, but simply because we don’t stop to thing if we agree or not. It is after all easier not to think. And then sometimes we are taught to think a certain way and we, later on, realize that that isn’t our thought or dream. For example, someone might be born into a family full of doctors. But they don’t want to be a doctor. But the follow the footsteps of the family because they feel they have to. But are they happy? Probably not.
- What are my limiting beliefs? Maybe your beliefs are something that you yourself have taught yourself to believe. Or it might be a joke that a friend of yours said at your expense but you believed them. No matter how you ended up believing in that idea make sure you stop doing it. I am not saying you can fly from a balcony if you just believe enough. But you can learn math, you can improve drawing skills, you can become more fluent while writing/speaking. Every one of those things requires hard work. But I am telling you, YES YOU CAN. And don’t dare tell yourself otherwise.
Thank you all for reading as always and let me know what you think.
Negativity has been hot wired into our brain. It is one of the secret powers with which we have survived this far. But we do not really need negativity as we used to. I mean we don’t have to assume we will be attacked or anything along the lines. So why do we still hold on to negativity. Well evolution does happen very slowly, and thus it is our job to rewire our brains.
Disclaimer: This post isn’t about turning you into this rainbow pooping unicorn with no worries in the world. This is to help you see more good than bad, beaucause there really is a lot of good in the world as well.
- Be grateful. I am sure you have been shoved this from every person who is even a bit into personal development. But it is true. It is so easy to get stuck on thinking about what you do not have. That you totally disregard what is already there. So remind yourself every couple of days, of the things that make you smile. Maybe its your parents, your dog, your significant other, maybe it was the fact you got to read a great book. Just keep those things in mind as well, especially when your mind starts to wonder to the negative side.
- Write what you feel. You can call this a diary, journal what ever. Maybe just bullet points of “Things that annoyed me today” and then write them out, and chances are that at least 3 things were just very silly. Someone walked onto your heel on a busy street. (and didn’t even ruin your shoes and apologized). One waited in the lights 3,5 seconds after the light turned green. And urg that cashier didn’t even say good day. After you have written those out, doesn’t it feel silly that the whole 16 hours that you are awake a day on average, you say has been shit for those reasons?
- Kind of a continuation from the last point. Don’t churn the negative things all the time. Let it goooo, let it gooo. Ok, I will stop singing now I swear. But really, a) no one needs to hear your whining ( unless its an actual legit reason why you need to open up to someone, never hesitate to talk or seek help). But talking for hours about how that driver was an asshole won’t do anything. It will just make you get into a negative cycle that will be very hard to exit. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.
- If the things that bother you are actual problem try to figure out if you can do something about. Had a fight with a friend. Could there be a way to have a discussion and sort it out? Yes there probably is, unless you murdered their dog or something. What about sh***** I JUST came up with a perfect come back to that thing that bully said to me over 10 years ago. Can you change that? Well not really without seeming very pathetic. (I mean can you imagine calling Billy at 2 am, 10 years later to tell him” hey, yo momma is so big…?)
- Do things you know will make you feel better. Read a book, go for a walk, buy a candle and burn it. What ever it is that you know that no matter what the day was like, you i will enjoy doing it. Watch a stupid comedy, what ever rocks your boat. I for one love to laugh after a shit day. I mean I am 21 but I still watch the pink panther cartoon once in while. I mean it is satisfying how the person who does everything wrong and is mean always gets a lesson at the end ( and Pink Panther gets away with everything 😀 )
I hope those tips help and I would love love love to hear what you do to be more positive if I didn’t mention it above. Or even if I did. ^^ Thanks for reading and as always comments are appreciated. (Also I have no idea why Billy is the bully’s name, nothing against Billy’s here 😀 )
Personal Development is a lifestyle, at least in my opinion. It is a choice to make sure that you do not get stuck, that you keep moving forward and growing as a person. It is this idea, that no matter how much you know you never know enough and no matter how good you are at something you can always do better.
This doesn’t mean you should beat yourself over not being Mozart at the age of 15 or not being able to do the same kind of discoveries as Einstein. Look all of us have the things that we are either better or worse at. We get inspired by different things and that is fine. The important part is to be inspired. To find interest in whatever it is that we find interesting.
Personal Development is a healthy choice. It is a choice where you have control over the kind of person you are and want to become. It makes a huge difference when you can be educated and interesting to not only others but to yourself. Reading, writing, being an artist of any kind. Being sportive being a motivator, all of those things fall under being interested in developing, improving and growing yourself. To each their own. Really what makes you happy while trying to develop is your own business. It could be meditation, praying, reading 50 books in 2 weeks, watching documentaries. Whatever it is that you do, if it makes you grow, it really is worth the time and the effort.
But remember you do not have to pay 1000000000$$$ to someone to become a better version. Getting a book on the thing that interests you is great. Sitting and being mindful for 10 minutes, or even just 3 is great. In the end, it doesn’t take that much effort if you use about 30 minutes of your day, to become better, and who knows you might get hooked on it like me, and be doing it as much as possible.
Please comment below, how you like to better yourself. Let me know how your personal development journey started.