Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books

What is the science of success?

Success seems to be this elusive, unidentified object that is always a little bit out of reach. You keep on running and all the time they change the place of the goal. Just when you think your are on the finish line some asshole just erases it and draws a new one.

New exam, new competition, new goal, new limit to what counts as financially successful! This is so frustrating, here you are ripping your hair out, because nothing you do seems to be enough. And the simple answer is…. it isn’t and it NEVER will be. Because, if you ask others what your success should be, they will always answer how they think their success should be, or what they have been told, their success should be. So number one goal, for YOUR success, is to figure out what it is for you.

Quote by Bo Bennett

Why I 100% believe that success is very subjective I do think there are certain things that all successful people, who also feel like they are successful, emulate.I have watched a lot of interviews of successful people and most of them have this recipe for success;

  1. Over come obstacles and push yourself to be better
  2. Be passionate about something to the point it is almost an obsession
  3. Help others
  4. Have fun with it
  5. Constantly grow and know thy self.

The Entrepreneur has a similar list to this. It goes like this:

  1. Create often
  2. Understand self
  3. Have fun
  4. Suspend judgments
  5. Seek challenges
  6. Pursue meaning
  7. Make change work for you
  8. Develop resilience
  9. Constantly improve

Why are these things that make people generally happy and successful? I would see this as the affects of the Hierarchy of Needs that Maslow has coined in a paper he wrote in 1943.

The hierarchy goes in a shape of a pyramid, having the most basic needs for survival on the bottom, as a foundation and getting more into the details of human fulfillment as we go up to the point of the pyramid.

The construction is as follows(from bottom to the top):

  1. Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest etc
  2. Safety needs: Security and safety
  3. Belonging and love: intimate relationships, friends
  4. Esteem needs: Prestige and feeling of accomplishment
  5. Self actualization: achieving ones’s full potential, including creative activities

What is my point with this? We often try to skip ahead on this pyramid. Obviously biologically we must take into account our need for food and safety, but what about love? Friends? Quite often when we speak of people who are monetarily successful, we hear of their break ups, hard marriages and so on. Often we are ready to compromise our relationships for money, and that in the end is what makes us ultimately fail. I also believe that we forget how much we love effort. Not too much effort. But just enough that we can feel proud in our achievements. This is why often someone who what the lottery and has nothing to do except burn money will find themselves depressed. They aren’t actualizing themselves.

Other peoples idea of success:

I asked on my LinkedIn couple of days ago, what is success to others. A lot of people said that helping others brings them the most joy. Of course doing things that are fun and well also having monetary success came through. This all in my opinion ties in quite nicely with this idea of hierarchy of needs. We want to help others, because it gives us the feeling of belonging and love, it helps give others security. We need the money in order to take care of Physiological needs, but it also often shows directly how much effort we have put into our work. A lot of answers to my positive surprise did realize that this money as a measure of success in the end isn’t that valuable.

My idea of success

I see success as over coming hardships and figuring things out. Living a life full of experiences and being surrounded by people that I love and care about. It is definitely full of laughter and sparks of inspiration. (This is why I write the blog) But there is still a lot of answers regarding success that I am missing. I am not quite sure yet what else I want to do apart writing my blog, if we think as a job. I mean blogging could be my job, I am not sure if that is all I want to do. I do want to help people and I want to have a job that no day is alike and that I keep growing and evolving. I know however that I get closer to fining out my version of success, and in the mean while I enjoy the ride. After all my success right now, isn’t the same as in 20 years. And that is OK to. Dreams, plans and you change with time, why wouldn’t your ideal version off success change too?

Want to read more posts relating to success? Read the post about #CHANGE, 5 Simple habits for guaranteed success , and this one on the mindset of success!

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Personal development, Reading and Books

Why wait for tragedy? Change now!

We live in a society that has it all! Information at our fingertips on your phones, libraries with books from the floor to the ceiling. We have internet to contact our mentors, either through books or perhaps if you are daring enough by sending them a message on LinkedIn.

Waiting for a tragedy to wake up

For some reason we decide to change the most the next week, or the next year. And quite often when something bad happens like losing a parents or getting into an accident. The shock of the tragedy just wakes us up, and we get moving. But do we actually need to wait for the New Year? Or that car crash? Of course not. The best thing for us, is to commit to making our lives the best we can today. Just because we actually deserve to be happy.

I’ve written on this subject before. But I wanted to get more into depth on this. Instead of just telling you to try something new and to write down your goals, let’s get really really deep on this! Brain and psychology deep? Sound interesting? Let’s go!

The science and Moran Cerf

Moran Cerf is a bank robber/hacker (it was an actually paid job, not criminal behavior I promise) turned neuroscientist. He has done major research on how the brain works and how to change behavior. He is also well into the research of dreams and so much more. I have seen his amazing interview on Tom Bilyeu’s show as well as his speech on training the brain. Both of those were extremely informative. If you want more data, see his own speech and if you need more info on how to make changes yourself, watch the interview with Tom.

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

Here are some facts. The easiest most active way we can change our habits, are by activating your brain during the sleep, long sleep to be more specific. What this looks like, that right at the right moment, you will either use smells, words or the like, to make the brain file away information in a certain way. For example, if you want to stop smoking; someone would sprits nicotine into your brain, and right after that something that smells horrid. Your brain will make a connection right away, that smoking is bad, after a while of doing this, the result stays. You can affect your brain in other ways too, nutrition, medications, exercise and so much more.

My idea

There are other studies that show that you are more likely to remember things with high emotions attached to them. Anger, sadness happiness etc. this brings me to a theory, that I haven’t checked and I am not sure if anyone else has, but we will see if it works for us! So as I want myself to learn more and study more on various different subjects, I will use studying as an example, but you can chose what ever you want to change in your life. I am using positive things to change my attitude to studying but if you want to stop doing something you can use a negative enforcer. Ok? Let’s go!

Right before you start studying for something (or doing sports etc) watch something that will lift your spirits, a good comedian, a strip of Tom and Jerry cartoon if you a re a kid at heart like me, anything along those lines. Right after that start studying. Try to think of funny ways of remembering the things your are studying. (e.g Never Eat Soggy Waffles = North, East, South, West) Once you are about to go to sleep, try to read through these fun notes you have made yourself (or listen to them if you made them in an audio version) Once you have done all of this try tho get yourself into a very happy mood. I suggest not really watching or reading anything new, but just elevate your emotions. Then go to sleep.

Now I have again now studies on how this will work. But based on the studies done on how memories are formed and how mood affects those memories, I think it is safe to assume your are more likely to remember those things. Like I said I want to get a positive connotation to studying in my brain that why I use humor and joy to remember those things, if you want to stop eating certain foods, I guess banging your leg against the corner of a table could work… or going to eat that food next to the trash… I mean depending on how desperate you are to change a habit, you will do a lot for it right?

My idea is this, that while you get yourself into a better mood while you study (or do other things you normally wouldn’t want to do) you are able to remember things better but ALSO able to trick your brain into actually liking the process of studying or doing sports etc. Two flies with one hit.

Your turn!

What I would love for all of you lovely readers to do is, test this theory (actually properly not just once half assed) and tell me how it went. What worked what didn’t and why do you think it didn’t? I will be doing this myself as well!

Can’t wait to hear from you guys, as always thanks for reading and I appreciate any feedback I get! I am going to link more resources below so you can learn about changing yourself, without having to wait for a tragedy to strike! Happy learning! Happy autumn everyone!

Resources for further learning:

Psychology of invention, How hobbies can boost productivity and creativity, Neuroscience; rewiring the brain

(Would you like me to react on these articles? Maybe give my own advice that is more catered into our “normal” lives? If so, leave a comment down below )

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

“We must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.”

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers 😉 ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

How to successfully study (even if you aren’t at school)

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice”

Brian Herbert

So; I had a blog post poll and twitter and 2 post ideas got the same votes; the one I am writing about right now and “How to have conversations”. So I will make the post about conversations for next Monday. But today we will talk about how to study. While the title mentions that it isn’t for school, it can be applied to school as well. I just feel like even after we are done with school, we should still continue learning and this we need to know how to study; so here we go! (I will link bellow my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn! )

Tip N.1; Choose one thing (Maybe two if they are different enough)

I feel like the most important part is to figure out what you want to study. I don’t think there is a good thing and a mad thing to study. You can study languages, math, culture, history, self development. What ever feels like your own.

However this poses a problem. You aren’t at school, so no one is going to give you a limit to what to study. It isn’t realistic to study all sub parts of all of the topics listed about (plus there is like 1000’s of more of them, that I just don’t have time to list). So as my tip suggest don’t choose too many things to study. Even if it seems very tempting.

You could study a language and history. That way they are different enough. If you study Spanish you might want to learn about Spanish history, because you might understand the culture better. But don’t choose too many things, just so you don’t feel overwhelmed. I am sure we all remember how stressful it was to learn everything for our finals, why would you do that to yourself on purpose, right?

Once you stop learning you start dying.

Albert Einstein

Tip 2; How do you learn best?

Now that teachers aren’t thrusting a book into your had and telling you to read and learn 500 pages by heart. You can actually listen to yourself and figure out how you learn best. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use multiple methods, it means you should see what works the best and after that using the other methods to bring variety into your studies. Just because you like pasta the most doesn’t mean you can never eat anything else…right? So Figure out your tastes and start planning

Tip 3; Plan your learning

Learning can be a great way to pass time and relaxing without having to check your phone
Learning can be fun!

This doesn’t have to be as hardcore as at schools. You don’t have to know that by the end of tomorrow you have read chapters 1-5 from a book. But making sure you have some kind of a picture is important. If you work, are a stay at home mother or go to school and want to learn things outside of school, you should make sure you have time for the thing you want to study.

So check your calendar. Is 30 minutes a day realistic? How about 1 hour every other day? Maybe study what you want for couple of hours during the weekend. Or make it a part of your morning routine. You can easily wake up 15 minutes earlier and decide to study a little bit of vocabulary before getting up. Or do that during night time, this way your brain will process the info while you sleep. Either way, make sure you have time for what you want to learn. Trust me when I say it doesn’t work if you just plan on studying “when you feel like it” it didn’t work in school and it sure as hell won’t work now, because you won’t even have you finals to force you to study…

Tip 4; Figure out a why

Just being curious is a good thing, but it won’t last you for a long time and it won’t be something constant. Obviously there is nothing wrong about once in a while reading a fascinating article. However, if you want to seriously learn something, you should have a strong why. For example; I want to learn Spanish, because I have studied it for ages and I like the sound of it. The idea that I could one day have a conversation with a Spanish person seems fantastic and I think it will help me understand their culture. Since culture and languages are often closely linked. A while a go I learned, because I had family members in France. Just thinking the languages if fun, isn’t a bad reason. But it rarely is strong enough. However if it is good enough for you, great!


Here were my 4 tips for studying even if you aren’t at school. All of these however work even if you are. Leave a comment if I forgot something and I hope this helps! Bellow I linked my own posts on similar topics and other resources to help you learn!

My posts; Growth VS. Fixed mindset , Be taught and teach, 5 life changing challenges

Other helpful sources; AsapSCIENCE, Charisma On Command, Fastcompany, How to learn books

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Personal development, Reading and Books, Spirituality

THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD

Welcome back to all of you who have been following me for a while. I am quite excited for this post! I can’t quite believe that I have been nominated for this award. Thank you for the nomination (more about it bellow) But most importantly thank you for those who read, like and comment on my posts! It makes me happy and shows me that what I am doing has an impact. Here is a link to my past post if you missed it: Latest post!

And let’s get cracking!

screen-shot-2018-03-23-at-8-2116615623 (1)

The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Hilary Tan, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This means a lot for me! And it makes me happy that I bring joy and sunshine to my readers!

Hilary has the most amazing blog, that mixes art, real life and a rawness that seriously touches the reader: Sereluna-Finding my Inner Goddess. I honestly must say that you are well on your way to finding your inner Goddess and it is great to see you helping others do the same! I only found you recently but will 100% and avid reader from now on!

SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD RULES

Here are couple of simple rules to keep in mind when you are nominating and when you nominate:

RULES FOR AWARD:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Q’s and A’s:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?

I have enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember. I haven’t always been good at it but a while back I decided that I might as well do it anyway, since it makes me happy. Plus I get to improve everyday. I have been writing about self-help and health most of my blogging time, but especially now I have concentrated on the personal development aspect.


2. What year did you publish your first blog post?

I honestly don’t know. My current blog is not my first blog. But with the one I own now, I started it at the end of 2016.


3. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written and why?

My favorite post is “Stars Sentenced to Death“. This is a harsher, more negative post of mine and I wrote it right after Avicii died. I read about his death and about the comments on how it was to be expected because of the “music scene” and how it is so often that these people feel the need to turn to drugs/alcohol/self-harm. I found this very frustrating and point the finger to us, the people who love and hate these stars blindly leading to their lives derailing. Not saying we are the only ones at fault. But honestly we don’t let them have a normal life due to all of the fan giriling or hating on them for every move they make..


4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?

I have a dog, a middle sized Schnauzer! His name is Patu and he is 100% the boss of our household. Good lord who new these creatures to be so pigheaded?!


5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?

It honestly depends. Sometimes I will meditate and brainstorm ideas that come to me during the mediation. But quite often an event, an Instagram post or a book/podcast, will spark inspiration in me. I kind of would love to have a routine/ ritual for posting blogs to make it more organized. But then again sometimes it is great to just get inspired and let it flow 😀


6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?

I love love love helping people. There is nothing better for me than to help people get their AHA moments in life. Like the “Fucking hell I actually am the one in charge of my life” moment is just like a drug. Honestly it hasn’t been a 100% easy road for me to get here so getting to that mindset isn’t easy, however helping others get there, I get shivers just talking about it!

The world is such a messed up and confused place right now. There is so much more hate than love and I honestly want to be a part of changing that. I believe that currently too many hurt people are in charge of the world. We can’t change the world if we don’t heal ourselves first (in what ever capacity it is for you) and this is why I write my blog. So people will find the power in themselves to change and rebuild themselves and after that attacking the issues of our planet with new vigor and passion.


7. What is your favorite social media platform and why?

I honestly don’t know. I think Twitter is cool because you are forced to think of what you say and how you say it, because you only have so many letters that you can use. Instagram on the other hand is so pretty! And it gives me inspiration to work on my photography to make it more artistic and to unite it with the text I write there (To anyone visiting my Instagram after this post; not all of the pics are mine :D)


8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?

Coffee addict in the house! Can I get an AMEN from all of the sisters and brothers that are walking on the same journey of telling about the love of COFFEE to whom ever will listen?!

Honestly I love tea as well, but coffee makes me feel powerful and productive ( When honestly it doesn’t, it just makes my soul sing.)


9. What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?

That it isn’t easy. That it requires work and it requires more from you than you were ever prepared to give. It makes your raw, angry vulnerable and all of those “negative” things. BUT once you get into it. Once you decide that it means a lot to you… it is the most rewarding thing you could imagine. (Especially when a blog post does well and make you feel like you did something good in the world. Even if it was just a small thing)


10. Are you satisfied with your blog’s progress so far?

Especially as someone who writes about personal development I don’t really know if that is even possible. It feels like I should be better since I write about being better. You just have to take as step back and realize you are just as much on the journey of growth as anyone else. Just a different path. So if I think realistically. Yes.


11. What do you fear the most?

Living a life that is unfulfilling and insignificant.


SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD NOMINEES

QUESTIONS FOR THE NOMINEES:

1. What is your favorite word? (Any language, if foreign please translate xD)
2. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
3. What is your favorite blog post you have read?
4. Are you a dog or a cat person (or perhaps a reptile person)?
5. What is the best advice you have ever gotten?
6. If your excuses wouldn’t hold you back, what would you do?
7. What is your favorite color?
8. What kind of a nature scene makes you the most at peace? (E.g. forest, ocean, mountains etc.) 9. What is your superpower (nothing isn’t an acceptable answer, nor I don’t know) ?
10. Where do you desperately want to travel and why?
11. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Well there was my blabbering, now it is your turn. If you visit the blog post mentioned (or another of them please leave a comment and tell me you visited from this post. Now feel free to write your own thank you, Q and A + nomination post. Hope you have fun searching your depths!

My nominees:

https://joypassiondesire.com/

https://mywellbeingandlearningjourney.wordpress.com/

https://simpleula.com/

https://humanityliveson.home.blog/

https://coffeennotes.wordpress.com/

https://dailygrindofastayathomemom.wordpress.com/

https://motivationvi.wordpress.com/

https://auroralibrialis.wordpress.com/

https://ptsdawayout.com/

https://barryjoyful.wordpress.com/

https://mademoiselleolantern.com

I would love for people to answer these questions in my comments (or the ones I answered to) even if they haven’t been nominated. Let’s keep the conversations open!

P.S If have done any mistakes in the formatting/with pictures etc. let me know and I shall correct it!

Xoxo, Alisa

Personal development, Reading and Books

5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

As always my communities are to be found here: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

Goals, Personal development, Reading and Books

Which mindset should you have? Growth vs Fixed.

Until very recently I’ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasn’t.

I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesn’t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe I’ll just make myself believe that it isn’t my fault and thus I can’t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I don’t want to be.

I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like “Shit that is exactly like me!?” “And my poor family friends and boyfriend.”

What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?

  • You believe you can’t amount to anything because you aren’t smart enough
  • Failure defines you.
  • You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
  • Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

  • You get excited about the challenges
  • You are happy when others succeed
  • You do everything in your power to be better after failing
  • You don’t let challenges get to you.

I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.

Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?

Because always being right (even when you aren’t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so you’ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you can’t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isn’t true.

I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if I’d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.

Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!

-Alisa

Lessons in life, Reading and Books

Learning and age?

In march I will be celebrating my 22nd birthday, and while I am not old by any means, I must admit that hearing that age makes it more difficult to learn starts to nag at my mind.  But is it really harder to learn?

While science  has shown us that brain loses some of its neurons in the process of aging, we also know that an active mind helps with keeping Alzheimers at bay. So what does this actually tell us?

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Just keep learning

The quote above, by John C. Maxwell is spot on. Also think about it like this:

As much as we know about the brains today, we hardly know anything; and I find that fact is very important to remember. If we know almost nothing, why give the “knowledge” of losing some neurons over time so much power? I would say that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy if we just become stagnant because “learning becomes harder and slower etc.”

I would almost argue that it is easier to learn new things. Why, you ask?

Because while it might take longer to make the new information to stick, but it is easier to connect the new information to the older.

If you are 50 you probably have more information than me who is in their early twenties, thus you can make connections more easily between A, B and C. But in order for that to be the case, we have to keep learning, studying and being curious on the daily.

Sometimes the things that we “have” to learn aren’t interesting, but they help us evolve as learners, as they give us the possibility to make connections between new and old information. Plus it makes our brains work harder to keep up with the synaptic connections.

What is the most efficient way to learn? The article on Forbes (Originally on Quora)  states that learning is easiest if we chunk the information. What does this mean? You take a confusing mix of information and form it into a clear “chunk” of information. The article gives you an example of a undone puzzle is mixed information and a chunked information is a finished puzzle.

The articles used for this post:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2016/07/08/science-says-this-is-the-best-way-to-learn-and-remember-new-things/#224f73033ea2

Article about aging and brain:  https://www.canyonranch.com/blog/health/how-your-brain-changes-with-age/

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books

Be taught and teach

For couple of days now I have been watching people from TOTALLY different specks of life tell their story, their vision on Tom Bilyeu’s show Impact Theory. And not only is all that I have watched been so extremely inspirational, I understood, that we ALL learn all the time AND that we all teach all the time. Let’s get deeper in my idea and what I think this could or should mean.

So my idea as a whole is that we suck information from our surroundings, people, books, online sources and so on. And this information can be true or untrue, wrong or right. That doesn’t matter because in order to learn something it doesn’t matter if it is true or not. It is enough that we believe that it is.

As we learn new things, we right away start teaching other. As kids, we are often told to say sorry if we do something wrong, right? So if someone does wrong to us and they don’t say sorry, we end up telling them about it. “Hey, my mommy says you have to says sorry if you do XYZ” And obviously this an VERY early on example, but I think you get the point.

I strongly believe, that realizing this fact, and absorbing this idea, could be a tremendous help. Imagine what the world would be like, if those people who write books, blogs, make youtube videos or hold long speeches, wouldn’t exist? No Aristotle, no Platon, no DaVinci, Voltaire, Oprah no Tom Bilyeu or anyone else you find has in a way or another influenced today’s world. If they wouldn’t exist or their works wouldn’t, there wouldn’t be knowledge.

Einstein could have written all his theories and said F*** this S*** and burned all that he figured out. Same goes to all the others. And that would just make our world of knowledge very very empty. Obviously this is just what if’s, but I swear I have a point here.

We learned all the things we have from other, normal people. So why is it that when we want to influence, our first reaction is that “I’m alone I can’t make impact”? I mean all the other people were alone with their thoughts, I mean especially the Philosophes, “normal” people rarely understood what they ment, because talk about meta philosophy sometimes.

What if all the influencer also would have thought that they can’t make an impact. And really do they even care? I mean if you think you have something worth spreading, it might now win a nobel price, BUT I am sure someone will read it. And if you work hard enough and long enough, I am sure you will gain the platform that will help you shoot the message you have to the wide audience.

And even if it doesn’t have this snowball effect where everyone will be cheering you onto a stage in front of thousands of attendees. It can be small things that, if a lot of people separately do, it will affect the masses.

For example, if  you want to lessen sexism, why wait for “influential ” people to make a difference. Teach the people around you, your kids, your friends, write blogs etc. Or you want someone  to be excited about math? Teach them that.

Attention, nothing can be force fed, or the person might choke on it. But by giving them an example, telling your opinion, in the end it might just be that your actions have made an impact to the world.

There is this paradox in everything, every one who ever became an influencer, was first all alone in their spreading of their belief. Many of them are dead, and got a following of thousands only after their death, BUT  no one can say that they didn’t make an impact.

Just choose your words and thoughts wisely, and let us all, work as individuals, to make our togetherness on this planet the  best it can be.

Thank you for reading

-Alisa

Goals, Reading and Books

How to spend your free time

Last time I mentioned we shouldn’t rush all the time. That it is okay to just do one thing at a time and actually have pauses. But what to do when you want to do something semi smart and not just sit and what TV, game etc. Which is totally okay as well. Once in a while. What smart is there to do and why do something semi productive during your rest time?

  1. Go for a walk: Going for a walk is going to kill a lot of birds with one stone. You get exercise, that in turn will make your brain work better and you will be less stressed.
  2. Read a book, blog post/listen to a podcast that isn’t just about some fiction/love etc. Reading, no matter what you are reading is good for your cognitive health but reading self-help or something similar will not only activate your brain but might give you ideas to your life. Same goes with listening to a podcast. Plus you can actually do something else like clean up at the same time.
  3. Watch a documentary. Watching something smart can just boost your knowledge and broaden your life views and that is always a good thing. Who knows when someone will ask you who was the third roman emperor.  ( It was Julius Cesar by the way https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_emperors#Emperors_after_395)
  4. Talk to a mentor. It doesn’t matter who it is. It could be a brother or mother or someone online who you just met. But talking to someone who inspires you and makes you excited to be better and to work harder can never be a bad thing. This is especially helpful when you are just starting out you personal development journey.  If you have difficulties there  will always be someone, somewhere willing to help and guide you.

Here are some tips that I like to use. I do not always do this and trust me I waste way too much time just on youtube looking at productivity tips. But I try my best to improve with becoming more active mentally and these tips help me at least.

Good luck and until next time,

xoxo,

The Writer