Lessons in life, Personal development, Spirituality

Write your life live your life

Living our lives without any type of plan is almost impossible. We have to plan our studies, or how to get food on the table, how to get a job etc. But what if you have no idea what it is you want to achieve in your life? I use journaling to help me with this issue. Here are some topics you can write about and hopefully achieve some clarity from them.

  1. If money, time and obligations wouldn’t be a thing what would you do? Is there a way to incorporate this into your life around your other obligations?
  2. If you would die in a year, what would you regret the most not doing?
  3. What books hit your heart and how could you incorporate what you learnt in them into your life?
  4. What did you love doing as a child, and could you still do it now?
  5. What things do you hate about your life, and what can you do to get rid of them or lessen their affect on it.
  6. What 10 things should you do more on a weekly basis.
  7. Open ended; just start writing without any goal or objective, write your feelings you thoughts our worries your happy ideas everything that you hand gets onto the paper. See if there is any answers that you didn’t even know that you were searching for.

This is a small but sure way to get some clarity. You can spend your Sunday for example thinking and writing while listening to calm music.

As always thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed the text. Don’t hesitate to comment and see you again in a week ๐Ÿ˜‰ Ciao!

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Personal development

Multitasking- a threat or an opportunity?

  1. Introduction
  2. What is multitasking?
  3. What are the threats of multitasking
  4. Is it also an opportunity?
  5. Conclusion

Introduction

I have been searching for work for a while now, and I have realized this one expectation that many recruiters have, they want someone who is effective at multitasking. I have lived in a belief that multitasking is a myth and wrote on LinkedIn, that I feel like multitasking isn’t a good expectation to have. Many people agreed with me, yet many didn’t and this is why I decided to dive deeper into the whole multitasking world. What is multitasking? Is multitasking a threat or an opportunity?

What is multitasking?

Multitasking when speaking about humans, is when we do many things at the same time. This could be cooking, trying to take care of your kids and answering an email or what ever your life forces you to do.

What are the threats of multitasking?

Despite being well meaning, multiple studies have noted that multitasking can hinder ones productivity and isn’t actually as effective as expected. Some studies like 2009 Standford Univeristy study by Clifford Nass shows that multitaskers were actually less organized. It was harder for them to see the crucial details compared to non crucial ones. Another study (Bryan College) found that peoples productivity suffered from trying to multitask costing up to $450 million per year.

The issue with the concept of multitasking, is that people believe that they are actually doing more than one task at the same time, which isn’t possible. The brain needs to switch from task to task which requires quite a lot of effort. Mostly this is an issue if you are working on something hard. Since as we know certain things we can do at the same time, talk and walk, breath and move our hands etc.

The benefit or negative impact that multitasking has on productivity is subjective and depended on the task at hand

Rachel Gauthier

The issue comes when we try to force our brain to do many difficult things at once. “Multitasking can hurt efficiency for couple reasons: It takes time to switch between gears, and the process of switching ‘working sets’ of information can lead to errors and mistakes. Being efficient at multitasking really means trying to make those costs as small as possible”. Bob Schafer, VP of research at Lumosity states.

Bryan Collage study also has noticed millennials changing platform to platform up to 27 times per hour. There has been proof of even IQ lessening by 15 points during cognitive tasks and even emotional intelligence and brain density suffering. This for me is at least not surprising. I recognize the need to check one thing then think of another and so on.

Multitasking at a cafรฉ
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash and Quote from Times article

Now some argued in my comment section on LinkedIn that there is no such things as concentrating on one thing 100% and that certain jobs like working at a cafรฉ or bar could require you to multitask. And this is true, however, I would also argue that is the more different task one person has to keep track of at once the more mistakes there will be. For example: a barista has to make a cocktail for 10 people they would have way more risks in making a mistake than if they only have to serve 3 people. Also making 10 cocktails that are all the same will be way easier than to to make 10 different ones. On top of all this if you know the cocktails well its easier to do it as if automatically, rather than something you have never done before. Same thing in a cafรฉ while making lattes. Or being a baker and waiting for the batter to rise while you decorate the cake. There is a reason why we have alarms and reminders set. So we actually remember to do things we are “doing” at the same time.

The neuroscience has proven over and over again that we thrive of doing one thing at a time. Only 2.5% of people can multitask effectively. Not only is multitasking mentally exhausting it could be potentially life threatening (e.g. texting and driving). While multitasking we lose out attentiveness, we hinder our learning and we lose our mindfulness.

Remember this the next time youโ€™re tackling two tough tasks simultaneously.

 CYNTHIA KUBU AND ANDRE MACHADO 

Is multitasking all bad?

This is a matter of perception. What do we count as multitasking? For example is taking notes and listening to a lecture a task or two? We can apparently form tasks better if we thing we are multitasking, because we make more effort to not make mistakes. Those who see taking notes and listening as one easy task, don’t do as well on it.

While this idea doesn’t take away the countless research done before on the negative effects of multitasking (the actual one where we try to do too many difficult tasks at once) it does show that the idea of multitasking can be motivating. And I actually have seen this in myself too. I love the idea of being efficient and for someone reason we live in a society that has romanticized multitasking.

In conclusion

So? Multitasking- a threat or an opportunity?

Unless a task is automatic, like breathing and driving a car or walking and talking, it most likely will cost us in our productivity if we try to force it to work with other tasks. This is why at least for me, if I drive somewhere unknown and I need to see where to make a left turn, I will stop talking (but not breathing). If someone asks me to write an essay and give a speech at the same time, I won’t be able to do it.

I will however be able to make meeting notes while listening to the meeting. I will be able to write myself a reminder to do some other task after I’ve completed the one at hand. I’ll be able to answer a question while doing something …kinda, technically I will have to stop the task at hand and answer the question and get back to it. (See, multitasking seems to be a myth)

I would argue that word multitasking is just wrong for what we try to explain with it. We need to come up with another word to explain that we can do many things intertwined with each other, and the more they are similar to one another the better.

Recruiters, I hope that by multitasking you mean the capacity to write a post-it note for a task that you need to do right after you written an email to someone. Because in that case, I also am great at multitasking! It better not be the idea that someone can write two emails and have a phone call at the same time. Cos then, sorry but our paths don’t cross, and honestly that’s sad cos I do love working hard and I would be a great addition to your team.

You do you boo

If you think you can multitask and you honestly feel you need to in order to be happy, successful, etc. Be my guest, and if you actually are a great multitasker, I am just a little bit envious of you. But if everyone who reads this says they are… then I’ll call bs, cos 2.5% of the population isn’t much…

As always thanks for reading! Hope you liked this post. It was slightly different than what I usually write. Don’t hesitate to comment!

Here is a link to a post about things you should stop right now….multitasking should be on the list ๐Ÿ˜‰

Personal development

5 steps to a Miracle Morning

I personally am a morning person. I love waking up early and great the sunrise (well, during the summer I do, in the winter sun wakes up way too late for my schedule). First a disclaimer; you don’t have to wake up at 4 or 5 or what ever time the gurus say. But a morning routine, is going to get you into gear, even if you wake up at 12. Let’s get with the 5 steps!

The early morning has gold in its mouth

Benjamin Franklin

Step one – Give yourself time

How many of us have woken up just in time to leave in 30 min. We made the coffee, spilled it on our white shirt. Kicked the table and almost squished the dog. Why don’t you wake up so you have 1 hour at least to get ready. You can actually drink your coffee or tea calmly? Let’s start the day in a relaxed mindset. There is time to through of the balance later too

Step two – Prep in the evening

I am sure you have hear this. Get your clothes ready, prep your breakfast etc. This take away the stress of having to prep everything in the morning and gives less time for you to make mistakes and forget important things. I have a check list that I need to have completed every evening. Work keys, phone, car keys, food ready to go. Check, check, check. I’d rather check 5 times than to run back and forth. Which I have done. (This is quite a new part in my routine)

Step three – Exercise

I don’t have too much time in the morning to think about fitness. I start work at 7. So I wake up at 5 as is ( sometimes earlier) BUT what I do have time for is stretching. And couple of jumps and getting the blood going in my body. So I get the day started. Proper fitness is an evening thing for me. I also get a friend with me to make it more appealing for me to go ๐Ÿ˜‰

Make the morning work for you <3

Step four – Attitude

I am just like anyone else. When the phone starts playing its alarm I want to smash it and throw it to Timbuktu. BUT I don’t. And I do a lot to get into the better mindset. Stretch. Breath deep in and out. Think of the good part of the following day. You get to listen to good music, you get to see your fabulous work team, you get to listen to the book on your commute. Or maybe give some scritches to you your pupper? All good reasons to get up. You will always find some shit in your life. Try not to search for it on purpose. It will find you on its own.

Step 5 – Time it

This sounds dumb. But honestly see how much time it takes for you to do all of the things you need/want to do. An example of a timetable would we; Hygiene 10 min. Makeup 10 min. Breakfast 15-20 min. Meditation 10 min. Getting dressed 5 min. Organize room and check everything is with you 10 min. All in total is 65 min. This is the time about that you need for your morning routine. For someone it could be 1.5 hours, for someone 45 minutes. Take what you need, and disregard the rest. Make it yours. A miracle morning is only a miracle if it works for you. Make sure it does!

All in all, it isn’t hard to plan it. Now you need to stick to it. What is your morning like? Do you wake up early or late?

Here are some links to my past blog posts to help you reach your goals! 4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success, Gamify your success, 5 steps back

Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books

What is the science of success?

Success seems to be this elusive, unidentified object that is always a little bit out of reach. You keep on running and all the time they change the place of the goal. Just when you think your are on the finish line some asshole just erases it and draws a new one.

New exam, new competition, new goal, new limit to what counts as financially successful! This is so frustrating, here you are ripping your hair out, because nothing you do seems to be enough. And the simple answer is…. it isn’t and it NEVER will be. Because, if you ask others what your success should be, they will always answer how they think their success should be, or what they have been told, their success should be. So number one goal, for YOUR success, is to figure out what it is for you.

Quote by Bo Bennett

Why I 100% believe that success is very subjective I do think there are certain things that all successful people, who also feel like they are successful, emulate.I have watched a lot of interviews of successful people and most of them have this recipe for success;

  1. Over come obstacles and push yourself to be better
  2. Be passionate about something to the point it is almost an obsession
  3. Help others
  4. Have fun with it
  5. Constantly grow and know thy self.

The Entrepreneur has a similar list to this. It goes like this:

  1. Create often
  2. Understand self
  3. Have fun
  4. Suspend judgments
  5. Seek challenges
  6. Pursue meaning
  7. Make change work for you
  8. Develop resilience
  9. Constantly improve

Why are these things that make people generally happy and successful? I would see this as the affects of the Hierarchy of Needs that Maslow has coined in a paper he wrote in 1943.

The hierarchy goes in a shape of a pyramid, having the most basic needs for survival on the bottom, as a foundation and getting more into the details of human fulfillment as we go up to the point of the pyramid.

The construction is as follows(from bottom to the top):

  1. Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest etc
  2. Safety needs: Security and safety
  3. Belonging and love: intimate relationships, friends
  4. Esteem needs: Prestige and feeling of accomplishment
  5. Self actualization: achieving ones’s full potential, including creative activities

What is my point with this? We often try to skip ahead on this pyramid. Obviously biologically we must take into account our need for food and safety, but what about love? Friends? Quite often when we speak of people who are monetarily successful, we hear of their break ups, hard marriages and so on. Often we are ready to compromise our relationships for money, and that in the end is what makes us ultimately fail. I also believe that we forget how much we love effort. Not too much effort. But just enough that we can feel proud in our achievements. This is why often someone who what the lottery and has nothing to do except burn money will find themselves depressed. They aren’t actualizing themselves.

Other peoples idea of success:

I asked on my LinkedIn couple of days ago, what is success to others. A lot of people said that helping others brings them the most joy. Of course doing things that are fun and well also having monetary success came through. This all in my opinion ties in quite nicely with this idea of hierarchy of needs. We want to help others, because it gives us the feeling of belonging and love, it helps give others security. We need the money in order to take care of Physiological needs, but it also often shows directly how much effort we have put into our work. A lot of answers to my positive surprise did realize that this money as a measure of success in the end isn’t that valuable.

My idea of success

I see success as over coming hardships and figuring things out. Living a life full of experiences and being surrounded by people that I love and care about. It is definitely full of laughter and sparks of inspiration. (This is why I write the blog) But there is still a lot of answers regarding success that I am missing. I am not quite sure yet what else I want to do apart writing my blog, if we think as a job. I mean blogging could be my job, I am not sure if that is all I want to do. I do want to help people and I want to have a job that no day is alike and that I keep growing and evolving. I know however that I get closer to fining out my version of success, and in the mean while I enjoy the ride. After all my success right now, isn’t the same as in 20 years. And that is OK to. Dreams, plans and you change with time, why wouldn’t your ideal version off success change too?

Want to read more posts relating to success? Read the post about #CHANGE, 5 Simple habits for guaranteed success , and this one on the mindset of success!

Personal development, Reading and Books

Why wait for tragedy? Change now!

We live in a society that has it all! Information at our fingertips on your phones, libraries with books from the floor to the ceiling. We have internet to contact our mentors, either through books or perhaps if you are daring enough by sending them a message on LinkedIn.

Waiting for a tragedy to wake up

For some reason we decide to change the most the next week, or the next year. And quite often when something bad happens like losing a parents or getting into an accident. The shock of the tragedy just wakes us up, and we get moving. But do we actually need to wait for the New Year? Or that car crash? Of course not. The best thing for us, is to commit to making our lives the best we can today. Just because we actually deserve to be happy.

I’ve written on this subject before. But I wanted to get more into depth on this. Instead of just telling you to try something new and to write down your goals, let’s get really really deep on this! Brain and psychology deep? Sound interesting? Let’s go!

The science and Moran Cerf

Moran Cerf is a bank robber/hacker (it was an actually paid job, not criminal behavior I promise) turned neuroscientist. He has done major research on how the brain works and how to change behavior. He is also well into the research of dreams and so much more. I have seen his amazing interview on Tom Bilyeu’s show as well as his speech on training the brain. Both of those were extremely informative. If you want more data, see his own speech and if you need more info on how to make changes yourself, watch the interview with Tom.

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

Here are some facts. The easiest most active way we can change our habits, are by activating your brain during the sleep, long sleep to be more specific. What this looks like, that right at the right moment, you will either use smells, words or the like, to make the brain file away information in a certain way. For example, if you want to stop smoking; someone would sprits nicotine into your brain, and right after that something that smells horrid. Your brain will make a connection right away, that smoking is bad, after a while of doing this, the result stays. You can affect your brain in other ways too, nutrition, medications, exercise and so much more.

My idea

There are other studies that show that you are more likely to remember things with high emotions attached to them. Anger, sadness happiness etc. this brings me to a theory, that I haven’t checked and I am not sure if anyone else has, but we will see if it works for us! So as I want myself to learn more and study more on various different subjects, I will use studying as an example, but you can chose what ever you want to change in your life. I am using positive things to change my attitude to studying but if you want to stop doing something you can use a negative enforcer. Ok? Let’s go!

Right before you start studying for something (or doing sports etc) watch something that will lift your spirits, a good comedian, a strip of Tom and Jerry cartoon if you a re a kid at heart like me, anything along those lines. Right after that start studying. Try to think of funny ways of remembering the things your are studying. (e.g Never Eat Soggy Waffles = North, East, South, West) Once you are about to go to sleep, try to read through these fun notes you have made yourself (or listen to them if you made them in an audio version) Once you have done all of this try tho get yourself into a very happy mood. I suggest not really watching or reading anything new, but just elevate your emotions. Then go to sleep.

Now I have again now studies on how this will work. But based on the studies done on how memories are formed and how mood affects those memories, I think it is safe to assume your are more likely to remember those things. Like I said I want to get a positive connotation to studying in my brain that why I use humor and joy to remember those things, if you want to stop eating certain foods, I guess banging your leg against the corner of a table could work… or going to eat that food next to the trash… I mean depending on how desperate you are to change a habit, you will do a lot for it right?

My idea is this, that while you get yourself into a better mood while you study (or do other things you normally wouldn’t want to do) you are able to remember things better but ALSO able to trick your brain into actually liking the process of studying or doing sports etc. Two flies with one hit.

Your turn!

What I would love for all of you lovely readers to do is, test this theory (actually properly not just once half assed) and tell me how it went. What worked what didn’t and why do you think it didn’t? I will be doing this myself as well!

Can’t wait to hear from you guys, as always thanks for reading and I appreciate any feedback I get! I am going to link more resources below so you can learn about changing yourself, without having to wait for a tragedy to strike! Happy learning! Happy autumn everyone!

Resources for further learning:

Psychology of invention, How hobbies can boost productivity and creativity, Neuroscience; rewiring the brain

(Would you like me to react on these articles? Maybe give my own advice that is more catered into our “normal” lives? If so, leave a comment down below )

Goals, Personal development

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone…comfortably

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zoneโ€ฆcomfortably. So that you reach your potential! Yes I did say comfortably.

What did I just promise you? Something that you probably never thought to be possible. It is very much possible and I will show you how. Soon. First let me just point out that there is a time and a place for you to also force yourself out of the comfort-zone forcefully. But it isn’t always the best case. In case you have missed my posts on comfort-zone don’t check it after reading this one! Bye Bye Bye comfort-zone and Comfort-zone is necessary

Back to the topic at hand: Why should you sometimes do it in a comfortable way? Sometimes we have so much resistance to change, aka leaving the comfort-zone that we simply won’t move if the step isn’t small enough. So that is why I suggest these 5 comfortable steps.

One – Switch up something in your routine! (Success Magazine)

Do something small. Do you always wake up at 6? Wake up at 5.50. Ten minutes can give you just enough extra time to not rush. If you already wake up supper early, maybe make a different breakfast, or you go to the store by walking. Or perhaps instead of typing a message to your friend you call them up. Even a small change can be good for you. Try it. If what I Tell me in the comments what you will try or have tried ๐Ÿ™‚

Two – Accept help or ask for it

Accept help from others while you try to work towards a goal. For example, if you want to run a marathon. Try and get a friend to join you with the training and the marathon itself. Having a friend on the journey with you helps you to have more fun and for the goal not to seem so crazy/fear inducing.

Small changes now, will make your life look totally different in the future.

Three – Keep your feet on the ground… for now!

Make realistic goals for leaving your comfort zone. If you have never done any type of sport. You probably shouldn’t start with an extreme sport. Start with a group lesson or maybe just taking a walk. All exercise is good exercise.

Four– Ones step at a time

Work on only one area at once. So if you want to be out of comfort zone with routines. Concentrate on that first. Then it can be fitness. This doesn’t mean you are stuck till the end of time on one area. Maybe after 2 weeks of making slight changes to your routines, you can work on fitness, then maybe reading a book genre that you usually wouldn’t read. Then maybe upping the goal from routines changed for 2 week, make it 30 days. And so on.

Before checking my last tip. Do you have any great tips to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential? Share them for others to see!

Five – Girls (and boys) just want to have fun!

Have fun with this. Comfort zone is a very very very boring place to live in on long term. When you hear monitor plateaus you are declared dead. Why doesn’t this apply to real life? This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It is actually the opposite. You should have fun, because it will make you less resistant to getting out of your comfort-zone.

Here are my 5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential

What are your tips for this topic? Please let me know if you want me to write about the opposite side; how to make radical leaps out of comfort-zone?! I actually really like the idea! Anyway until the next post!

Keep working on being the best you!

-Alisa

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development, Reading and Books, Student Life

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

โ€œWe must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.โ€

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

Attention is the second most lethal drug in the world

I am honestly being a bit too much of a drama queen with the title (so yes it was kind of click bait…sorry) But please read this before going. This can really be beneficial for you and potentially your friends (so please share ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Let us start with some facts. According to WHO (world health organization) each year there is 11.5 people out of 100000 that commit suicide. Meaning about every 40 seconds. There is 86400 seconds a day. Divide that by 40 makes it 2160 deaths A DAY…by their own hand. So why is this so alarming… apart for the obvious…

While death is something very natural and a healthy part of life… imagine if we all just lived forever… that would be hell on earth. But the alarming fact is that suicide has become way more prevalent in our culture. Between the years 2000 and 2016 there has been a 30% raise in suicide related deaths. 50% raise in the suicide deaths of women. In USA it is the 10th leading cause of death. This data is according to APA (American Psychological Association)

As mentioned in WHO’s page it is good to keep in mind that all of these numbers are an evaluation of the situation and due to the complexity of suicide and the lack of evidence to make sure that correlation = causation, we must be careful of taking this all as 100% truth (just like with everything else) and this applies to any recourse I use.

So what is my point of pointing out the amount of suicides and what the hell does it have to do with attention? Do I think people just are depressed for sake of attention? Do I think that this all could be preventable by giving said attention? NO….. Depression and other mental illnesses are horrible and I cannot imagine living with one. And I happen to be EXTREMELY lucky to not have thoughts of committing suicide. I recognize that and I am not trying to lessen the pain of having such an illness… BUT

The reason I do talk about it being due to the new drug called attention. With social media all of our lives are plastered all over the internet. All of our mistakes, stupid drunk choices etc. It is all over there. And other people, comment, ridicule and sometimes are right vicious. Imagine all of our starts who have committed suicide by overdosing (or accidental overdosing) they in the end did that because they were trying to escape. And this is what I am talking about.

Today we need to make the most outrageous trick to get views on YouTube; like the tide-pod challenge… like what? Or kissing random girls, or showing boobs or what ever it is. The more shock value the better. I mean honestly, imagine if someone would have been able to grow their boobs to a 38KKK (that is the biggest size there is currently in Texas… I sure as hell hope the code is accidental) Anyway imagine someone trying to run away from a tiger with them…. Hmm…? And ofc this has nothing to do with attention and shock value… right? But I digress. (Woman’s Boobs are killing her)

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

So does this have any correlation/causation with suicide and if so how?. Well in my views and this is with minimal research. Between 2000 and 2016 there was an uproar with social media. And I find it hard to believe that 30% raise during those years is purely a coincidence.

We are addicted to likes and views. (Yes me to… hello I’m a blogger) The more we fuck up the better our view count gets. We could get sponsored by being dicks and extremely attention seeking. We get a generation that is payed for being idiots. And let us not get on the high horse here. All generations had their dicks. And all generations will have their dicks. However they were never this visible. They were never rewarded with attention from millions of people and by million bucks.

Like these people or not. This causes pressure on this generation like no other. We have millions of opportunities to make money. Some smart, some not so much. Either way our current generation is under inspection like never before.

I argue that fighting for the 5 seconds of fame. And after achieving it, fighting to be seen as anything else, is what is so detrimental for the people. Which leads to people killing themselves when they either get attention for the wrong reason e.g. because they kissed someone they shouldn’t have or because they can’t get forwards because they will always be seen as someone who “fucked up” e.g. Logan Paul. I honestly hope that he won’t feel the need to end it all due to all the negative media he get’s right now/has gotten in the past. ( I am not a fan of his, but honestly the things people say (including the death threats) is disturbing. Since when was it ok to do that?

Yes there will always be suicide. And yes we will always see attention seeking. It is one of the greatest ways to attract a mate. Raise your hands if someone remembers being hit on by someone who made a fool of themselves while doing so? However. Today it seems everything is twisted. We have a smart youth. No matter what we think of their antics. They are smart, but the outlet we have isn’t under control. There is no rehab for attention seeking. And many of us don’t even see that we might need it.

I could easily say that I don’t care about attention. But obviously I do. I write this blog. And currently this a pretty small blog. What will happen when and if it grows? I don’t know. Hopefully I won’t make it about jumping off roofs for the amusement of my fan-base. And I hope that what I talk about (Personal development + social issues) will help people grow and move forward instead of trying to become internet sensations.

Please comment and let’s start a discussion! As someone who is part of the generation, that almost kills themselves for views and potentially kills themselves because of said views, I find this topic important. To anyone who is depressed and/or sees as death being the only solution, please seek help. From family or a professional. I know this is cliche but there is always another way.

With love, Alisa

P.S. Being an influence, YouTuber, Instagram model etc. are perfectly fine jobs to have. (Yes I personally see them as jobs, if we would know how much time and effort goes into the content (often not always) we wouldn’t question it) However don’t forget that they aren’t the only cool jobs to have nor are they always as cool as what we think.

Goals, Personal development

Life ends, did you exist in it or did you live it?

Just last week I wrote a blog about catching up with your goals. I know that this seems like something that is rather redundant. Yes yes, we should have goals and aspirations so what?

Simple, it has been proven that we are happier when we strive for something greater, better. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to strive to be a millionaire. I mean I wouldn’t say no to a couple of million. But I don’t think it would make me happy, if after that I wouldn’t have more substance to my life.

So this is why I ask a very somber question from you my darling reader. What have you done, before you die. 80 years will go past fast as fuck. There is no point to think of what if’s when you are on your bed. So why not think of what if’s now.

What if you won’t do anything now? What if the goal you have is almost reached but you give up right before it? What if you have so much potential in you but you deside not to do anything because you are too afraid? I am not saying you shouldn’t sleep, eat or rest once in a while. Going after your goals doesn’t mean hustle till you die. It means make sure your life is off substance, so that once you die, you won’t have to think of what if’s. You won’t fear death as much if you realize that it is actually your time and you did everything you could have to live a fulfilling life.

So, after reading this post, journal a bit. What if you would die today. What would you be proud of? What would you have to achieve in your life to be on your death bed and; “Greet death like an old friend”?

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation in the comments and don’t forget to check my socials ๐Ÿ˜‰

Xoxo, Alisa

Goals, Personal development

4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success!

So, there is only half a year of 2019 left. Have you done half of the things on your goals/to-do this year list? Chances are you haven’t and there are a lot of changes I haven’t made either. Even thought I was way more committed to change this year, that the years before.

One big goal that I have been able to work more on than previous years has been this blog. But even with the blog, I haven’t gotten as much forward as what I had hoped for. So now, I must plan things a bit better for the next half a year. Including all of the other goals/to-do’s I have.

How do we achieve these goals, even if we are late? How do we make sure that the mistakes we have made in the past 6 months (or more) don’t get repeated? Where to even begin? Especially if we have accumulated even more onto the to-do list? I will go through some ways I deal with this overwhelm and hope it helps you too.

How much time do you actually have?

Analyze how much time in reality do you have free. How much time is left, if you take away the hours you sleep, the time you eat, work and take care of kids or your parents etc.

For reference we have 168 hours in a week. With 8 hours of sleep a day it will take 56 hours away/ a week. In Finland on average we work 37.5 hours in a week. I don’t have kids but I spend time with friends, let’s say i want to spend at least 12 hours in a week with them. This means I still have 62,5 hours left over.

Let’s take 8 hours a week for social media (It is way more in reality currently, but I am allowed to aspire to do better!) This leaves 54,5 hours in a week for what ever I want to do/achieve. For now I should also write a thesis. On a good week I would write 10 hours. This leaves me with 44,5 hours a week.

This means I can work towards my goals for almost 2 full days, in a week. That is a decent amount with all of the other stuff I get done in a week. How many hours would you have left for goals, without excuses?

If you have 50 different goals. You have no hope what so ever to achieve any of them. So. Chose 2. that would leave you 22hours and 15 minutes per goal/ a week. Now if you still can’t reach your goals, check the next tip.

What has been the actual reason you haven’t done what you were supposed to?

Did you have a hard time with your partner? Did you feel overwhelmed? Did you bite a huge as piece at a time and now you can’t chew? What ever it is meditate/journal with this question in mind. Because we figured out before that you indeed have hours in the week. If you just make sure you use them smartly. So what is the real reason you achieve nothing or not as much as what you want?

Have one day a week (or even daily) routine to bullshit check.

How much did you actually spend on your phone. Did you agree to see all your friends this week for full days? Did you decide you were too lazy to wake up after the 8 hours of sleep? What could you have done differently to achieve the way of life you want to?

Whether you like it or not. You don’t have to relax by watching TV. A good book will do the same and you will even learn new things. 15 minutes worked towards your goal is better than none. Have this time for your to write down, all of the bs you have told yourself during this day/ week and do your best not to repeat this next week.

Lists, lists, lists baby!

Make lists of all of your goals and to-do’s. What are the ones you have to do? A thesis so you get to graduate? A work project so you get money money money? What are the goals you want to achieve that are not obligatory? If they don’t spark anything you you. If they feel like they were put on the list because it seems cool. Cross them out. Leave only the ones that make sense.

Now don’t be lazy. All of us want to rest a bit more in bed. All of us want to hang out more with our friends. But if we ask ourselves if we want to make our lives even better. Most of us say yes. (And the rest a 99% of the time in denial) Working towards the unknown doesn’t feel fun. But after you make the list and only put those goals onto it that feel yours. You should be good to go for the next 6 months.


I believe in everyone of you. I know that reaching goals is hard. I know that most of us have complicated lives. But we don’t have to add to the by being lazy/ coming up with excuses. Work your ass off and be happy in the moment be even happier in the next one when you get close to your goals!

Thanks for reading! Let me know what sparks inspiration in you? What would you be right now if your excuses wouldn’t be in the way! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on the socials! Until next time!

Xoxo, Alisa