Skip to content

Category: Personal development

5 things I will invest in next year (2019)

  1. Gym membership; I have a gym close by that costs about 20€ per month to go to, and group lessons are included so I think it is a pretty good deal. And if you consider taking even 4 classes a month that is only 5€ per class, and at least by Finnish standard that is already pretty cheap. If you on top of that actually also use the gym and go a bit more often on the group lessons, 20€ won’t seem like a lot. 
  2. Some good gym clothes. I don’t like the shoes I use and I definitely do not feel comfortable in the clothes I have usually used for gym. If it is all women exercise class I couldn’t give a f**** but if its mixed or if I am just at a gym I want to feel comfy and look semi put together (I end up looking like a tomato so it isn’t as if I can look amazing, but still. You gotta work with what you have. 
  3. Some good quality “capsule wardrobe” clothes. So clothes that will 100% fit with everything. I really don’t need anything that fancy. Thankfully I don’t have to wear a uniform during work and I have clothes to wear when I need to be a bit more put together. However, I feel I don’t have clothes that would make me feel 100% bomb, even if I would put them on in only 2 minutes. And I want something that simple. A simple white t-shirt with black jeans and some simple accessories, a bit of mascara and out we go. 😉 Simple yet cute. I don’t want it to be the items that cost only 2€ and then I have to buy a new one every week. So I am OK with investing into staple pieces that will last me for years. 
  4. I am cheating a bit, but since I got myself a computer and then I got my phone as a gift I will count them as investments for the next year because mostly it was so that work would be more efficient for me. So I will imagine it counts 😀 
  5. Manicures…maybe. I don’t know how often and if I can find some place that makes them cheap but good, but I really want to get my nails sorted…. they not cute. So I have always had very thing fragile nails and when I put on nail polish (even if it’s not a cheap brand) it will chip off. With all of the base layers and top coats and all. Still, it just won’t stay on. And I hate chipped nail-polish more than anything. Plus maybe if my nails would be protected with a proper gel polish or even acrylic nails, I could grow them long enough to give them a shape… 

Thanks for reading as always. What would you want to invest in next year? Leave a comment down below. 

xoxo Alisa 

Leave a Comment

5 Habits before 2019

1) Structure

I want to wake up around 4.30 and 5. I know many people will get very tired of hearing this. Especially if you feel you are a night owl.  I understand as someone who kept telling myself I prefer to work at night. And well sometimes I do. But if I have to do creative things and/or concentrate on myself once in a while I do like to do it in the morning. 

  1. When you wake up early you balance out your hormones. You can read more about this here: 4 Sneaky Benefits to Waking Up at 5 AM but science states that because waking up early requires going to sleep early you balance out your hormones. The best sleep time for being the healthiest happens between 10 PM and 2 AM. That is the reason you might now wake up tired even if you wake up super early. 
  2. Waking up this early would also give me more structure. Especially if I have days I go to work later or if I don’t have work/ school at all. 
  3. Waking up at 4.30 or 5 requires some decipline. If you succeed in that it means you start your day right away with saying yes to the hard things.  

2) Going to sleep early 

This probably should have been the first goal for me, because this is what ensures that I actually have the energy to wake up. But we will roll with it. I actually don’t have an issue to go to sleep early. But I don’t have a routine set for the night and that can cause some issues…especially after a long work day when my brain runs around like a hamster in a wheel. “Gonna be late, gonna be late… for what? I dunno, just gonna be late” 

Gnight sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite 😀

3) Use my phone less…

 We already established earlier on in the blog post about phone addiction that I use my phone too much (and that you probably do as well…). I mean 5+ hours a day… that is WAY too much. Even if I use my phone a lot for work.  The phone distracts me from work, studying and from going to sleep. I usually do end up putting it away by 22 or very least 23 PM but, that doesn’t mean I get good quality sleep. And 5 hours from the day is like one third of my whole day…. so that is very scary. 

4) Read for 30 min- 1h a day

Yes, this is very much possible. Instead of being on youtube for 3 hours… I could read for that time. And since I know that I won’t be able to do it for that long right away I will start slow with  30 minutes  to an hour. Obviously I can do more, but to start of slow and steady. I really can’t use the excuse of not having time to read when I literally kill it by scrolling on my phone… 

 A great time to read when everything else is silent. Morning and evening

Photo by Yuri Efremov on Unsplash

5) Gratitude/Meditation 

So this is something that many people kind of want to brush off as a bit of whoo whoo. But well, first of all, I am a bit whoo whoo and second science actually backs this up. Soooo…. let’s get to the point. Gratitude makes you stop that hamster wheel and makes you be happy right now. Instead of always thinking about the day you get/achieve something and “Then I will be happy” … nope, you won’t be, because there is always another shinier goal you have to get. So be thankful now.

The other part of it is meditation (or you could do a thankfulness meditation and that way kill two birds with one stone). Meditation has been shown to change the way your brain is wired and if you do it in nature it is even better. Meditation clears out the clutter in your brain, making it easier for you to do what you set out to do. This is why I really need this goal in my life. Because I always have 50 things on my to-do list. But then I just feel like my brain explodes because I can’t concentrate on the one thing I am doing.

In conclusion 

This year has been about changing my life for the better. It has been about executing more and thinking less. Planning less and just doing it. And I have achieved a lot of that …. but not as much as I want. So with these habits. Which I hope to actually make constant before 2019 … I hope I will step up my game.  

 Thanks for reading…. tell me what are your goals for before 2019? 

Leave a Comment

Which mindset should you have? Growth vs Fixed.

Until very recently I’ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasn’t.

I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesn’t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe I’ll just make myself believe that it isn’t my fault and thus I can’t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I don’t want to be.

I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like “Shit that is exactly like me!?” “And my poor family friends and boyfriend.”

What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?

  • You believe you can’t amount to anything because you aren’t smart enough
  • Failure defines you.
  • You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
  • Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

  • You get excited about the challenges
  • You are happy when others succeed
  • You do everything in your power to be better after failing
  • You don’t let challenges get to you.

I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.

Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?

Because always being right (even when you aren’t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so you’ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you can’t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isn’t true.

I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if I’d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.

Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!

-Alisa

Leave a Comment

How I meditate now?

You are not meditating wrong. Unless you aren’t meditating. I want to tell you how I have been able to incorporate meditation into my life. If someone tells you to do something but doesn’t give you a chance to do it your way, you will eventually quit doing it. 

Why should we meditate? 

Meditation has many health benefits and it has been often said to have been a very important contributor to success. Oprah, Angelina Jolie, Tom Bilyeu, Hugh Jackman, and so many others meditate.

What does it do ?

It makes you present, gives you more clarity in your thoughts and gives you the discipline to work hard. Because you have taught yourself to not follow every thought, or if to follow them do so in a controlled manner.

How do I do it?

I have so many things in my head at any given time, esp now with school and work at the same time. I decided there is a way to help this “monkey mind”. I can actually make it less hectic. How? I write my thoughts out in a mind map. You might wonder why is this a better way than the more traditional one… It isn’t. It is just something that works for me. First I get to see all that is going in my head, in a concise package. The point usually of the mind map is to just blurt out things onto paper and find some things that relate to others and sometimes it helps you find solutions.


Photo by 
Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

For me honestly, it isn’t about the solutions. Not in this state. It is to calm and quiet my mind so that once I start work I can concentrate on it. And a good tip is to have a piece of paper with you while you work. If some thought just keeps bugging you, write it down and analyze it later.

Hope you found this idea helpful. I am sure there will be some people who will say that this isn’t meditation. But it calms me, it helps me think more clearly and it makes me stay in the present moment. In my mind that is pretty close to meditation.

As always, thank you for reading. Comment and Follow. My goal is to grow and improve so all constructive criticism is welcome (and compliments too 😀 )

Xoxo

Alisa

Leave a Comment

Phone addiction; why is it bad?

Today we use our phones a stupid amount. According to Business Insider, we check our phones up to 2, 617 times a day. And that is our “normal use” if you are a heavy user then that number rises up to 5, 400 times. That means you touch it about 180 times an hour if you are using it within a time period of 12 hours. (As a normal user). And that sounds to me that it’s a huge issue. And I don’t think that it sounds like a healthy amount at all.

Full article here: Business Insider

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

paul-hanaoka-608788-unsplash
Time is ticking and your thumbs are just tapping Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

The List has interviewed a couple of doctors about the negative effects that the overuse of our device can lead to.  And to be honest not one of the symptoms is something I haven’t to an extent or another noticed in myself.

  1. Eye strain is a common issue for me. It is also something that Dr. Howard Purcell explains to Adria Valdes Greenhauff, the writer of the article “What really happens when you stare at your phone all day”. The eyes have 6 muscles that control its use and one of them is in charge of focusing the eyes. If you don’t let your eyes rest from focusing it will eventually grow tired. Ever had red, itchy and achy eyes? Maybe even a full blast headache? Yeah me too.
  2. We have a lot of overuse injuries as well, Dr. Jennifer Stagg talks about the strain using your phone causes to your neck. Even an inch of a head drop can lead to double the load on the muscles. Using your phone can lead to wrist and thumb issues as well according to Dr. Stagg.
  3. Using the phone all the time can lead to lower oxygen levels. As if all of the other issues wasn’t enough. If you have trouble sleeping you might as well first check how much you use your phone (especially during the evening)
  4. A couple of next issues are ones that scare/bother me the most. Using the phone a lot can lead to self- inflicted anxiety, depression, concentration issues, and even hallucinations. Now I can attest to almost all of them. Depression not so much all of the other ones yes. The anxiety of missing out something important if I don’t check my phone. Not being able to concentrate on something for a long time because I am so used to see something new every 5 seconds (because I mean Instagram… scroll, scroll, scroll. Oh did the 5 hours already pass, shit?!) Have you sworn you heard a *bling* from getting a message, but you swore that your phone was silent? Yeah, it is silent. That bling you hear is in your head it is almost like wishful thinking because your brain wants you to check your phone again.

If you want to read the article in full please visit: TheList

rawpixel-974556-unsplash
I have so many friends why am I so alone and depressed I wonder? Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

The thing is that no matter how much you try to tell yourself that you don’t use your phone too much. You probably do. And I know it is very hard to not use your phone because everyone else does it too but trust me it would be beneficial.

Even if  I have a semi-full day of school or work I somehow have been able to use my phone up to 5.5 hours. That is 1/3 of the time I am awake (about). In that amount of time, I could study my skills in Spanish or use it to research business stuff or an essay or… I am sure you get my point. I could manage about a billion things in 5+ hours but I use it to scroll the phone. Hmmm, where did the time go? I wonder…

But seriously what will it take to realize that no matter how imminent digitalization is, we don’t have to give it all the power. We can form boundaries. Because I don’t think that we have the capacity to deal with millions of people with concentration issues or who are depressed, anxious and having hallucinations.

 

nordwood-themes-469906-unsplash
I swear I got a notification… hmmm Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

I wonder if we would spend only 30 minutes a day on the phone how much time would be freed for the things “we don’t have time for”

Thank you for reading! Let me know down in the comments below what you think!

– Alisa

 

Leave a Comment

How to change your life: Challenge 5/5

Last but not least: 

Planning is great. But I am willing to bet you plan too damn much! The to-do list doesn’t become done list unless you actually do something.

Now the great thing about to-do lists is that it makes you see what you should do but the bad thing? Well, it makes you feel like you have already achieved things.

This way you will start feeling like you don’t have to actually do things. Just plan everything out; feel good for being so productive and do nothing on that list. Sound familiar? It probably does, at least it does to me.

So what to do? Write out the list. Chose what you are going to do, and put the list away until you have done that task so you don’t even think about the other things. If you aren’t sure what is priority number 1 just start with whichever, this way at least you get some momentum to keep on going.

How to keep a to-do list manageable?  A good idea is 3 by 3. This means write 3 tasks that are pretty big like 1) Write an essay 2) Clean your room 3) Read the book. Now to those tasks write 3 smaller tasks, so they don’t seem so big. With the essay example it would look like this:  1) plan the essay and write the intro 2) write the body and 3) double check and send the essay.  This means you will get 9 smaller tasks for the day that you have to complete. Sometimes you will be able to achieve more than just them sometimes less. And if some of the tasks feel like they are too big even after you have dived them into 3, don’t hesitate to make them even smaller. A step forward is still a step forward no matter how small it is. 

Thank you for reading, I would love to know what you thought of this post and this series; if you missed out on the other ones go check them out here;

How to change your life? Challenge 1/5

How to change your life? Challenge 2/5

How to change your life: Challenge 3/5

Thanks for reading, don’t forget to comment and follow me! I really want to improve my content and write things that help others as much possible so all criticism and compliments help me 😉

xoxo

Alisa

Leave a Comment

How to change your life: Challenge 4/5

Mistake number 4 is: Trying to do too much at once.

I’ve touched on this before but I am going to say this again because I still haven’t accepted this as the truth but I am working on it. You can achieve amazing amounts and you can change more that one thing at a time.

BUT not in the same capacity.

If you want to start running for a marathon and at the same time become the bulkiest bodybuilder in the world, let’s face it that won’t happen. Now if you want to run a marathon and also wake up in the morning at 6 am, this might be possible. ross-findon-303091-unsplash

There are just levels of effort that certain things require. Let’s say that Marathon is an effort lvl 100 and Being the best bodybuilder is also effort lvl 100 you will know that it will be impossible to do those things. So it makes sense to take on rather waking up at 6 am that might be only on lvl 50.

Also, marathon practice can help you achieve waking up at 6 because you will be tired from practice thus sleep better and then its easier to wake up earlier. Marathon practice is going to hinder your bodybuilding on the other hand because running so much would take away some of your bulk.

Do you see where I am going here? Just pair your goals smartly and don’t do too much at once because you will tire your brain out then the only thing you will want to do is just sleep… trust me I’ve been there

If you want to check my latest posts go here:

How to change your life? Challenge 1/5

How to change your life? Challenge 2/5

How to change your life: Challenge 3/5

Thank you for reading, and please comment below.

Xoxo

Alisa

Leave a Comment

How to change your life: Challenge 3/5

Do you suffer from that pesky little nagging 5-year old voice in your head that says; “But I don’t feel like it” Buy these pills to shut that little brat up….

Well not quite. But let’s try get some perspective shall we. Why is that voice even bad to have?

Let us go way way back. If our ancestors would have lived their lives with the “I don’t feel like it” mentality we would literally be instinct. Imagine how that would work with a wolf running after you and your family or with needing to harvest the crop but “I can totally do it tomorrow” And then tomorrow comes and you realize that the frost killed off the crop… Well, that went well…

And I know that this idea doesn’t work in today’s society because you can literally ask food to be sent to you by uber… but is that really the life you want to live. The issue that I noticed with this idea for myself was that my life was so so so boring. Go to class, check the phone for most of that class, get home be on the computer for most of that time, eat and go to sleep. If you have a due date then just work for 1h like crazy and send a meh text to the teacher… And then the same next day and next week and so on.

But what if you don’t do it that way? What if you actually do everything on time and when you do things you do them with energy?  I haven’t mastered this. BUT I did start doing more things this fall. I seriously worked on forcing myself to participate in things and got to meet new people and gained some serious opportunities. It didn’t really take that much. I mean sure we had to work for example with the volunteer project we had making the event and all but what I gained out of it was so much more valuable than the work I put in.

If you want to check more about this idea of just killing of the phrase “I don’t feel like it” you should check Mel Robbins. She also has a great TED talk on how to stop screwing yourself over:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

The thing is also that even if you just decide to not do something, you will have it on your mind all the time. Even if just a little. You can’t relax properly. And sometimes you can get away with it. Like if you are sick or if you really have so much to do but if you don’t have that 30 min bath for yourself then you’ll literally hang yourself (Please never let yourself get that far into a burnout)  then you can actually justify having a pause. But if the pause 24/7 just because you don’t feel like doing something, it won’t do you any good.

Let’s see if this way of thinking about it helps;  If you would give yourself a stress grade of 50 on writing that essay right? That would be if you’d just do it right now. This is without waiting at all.

  • Let’s give each day that you don’t do it, but it’s on your mind a stress grade of 5.
  • After ten days that ends up already being 50.
  • Then if you write that essay under time pressure because you have to give it in tomorrow as you waited way too long. That means you have a stress level of 90 because you have to write it NOW. So 50 + 90= 140. That is 90 stress levels more than necessary.
  • Add into that the stress of after because you know you didn’t do a good job so each day you wait if you failed the essay you have a stress level of 20. Waiting for a week would give you 140 extra stress points.
  • All together 280…. instead of the 50 that you would have otherwise had. That is a LOT of stress, that you just don’t need.

So write into your calendar a block of time when you will do it. I will talk about calendar blocking more in the future. But in short, the idea is this. You choose a block of time. Say, from 10 to 12 you do a task. Let’s keep the essay as an example. One block could be research then the next day the block could be making an essay plan and then the day after that actually writing the essay. If you cut the process of writing an essay into manageable pieces you might even lower the stress grade of 50 to way less because you realize the task isn’t as daunting and horrible as you thought.

One last thing, (I swear I will stop bothering you with this soon) if you keep just postponing it and then do it all under pressure and stress, you will be able to tell yourself “See I knew it this would be horrible, I never want to do it again. I will always leave it for the last second so I don’t have to think about it”. That idea is stupid of course because you just made it horrible for yourself because you left it for the last minute. But that doesn’t register and then you are in a vicious cycle.

So just go and do it!  Whatever it is you have right now.

Leave a comment to let me know if I made any sense and like if you like. Don’t forget to follow and see you in my next post 🙂

xoxo, Alisa

2 Comments

How to change your life? Challenge 2/5

The second reason you are failing at your goals? You aren’t surrounded with motivated people.

This is a killer for me. Seriously. Because  I vibe with a lot of people easily and I find that I enjoy sarcasm and kind of a pessimistic humor. And that is all fun and games. But what about when I have to execute?

Should I leave my current friends behind and just not bother with them?

No, 1st of all, I have amazing friends and all of them I am sure are motivated in their own way. I just happen to have my own goals and they have theirs and when we get together. We do not really talk about each other’s goals. We like to just be and have fun. And having that hey its Sunday and my week kinda sucked could we see or hey I feel like pizza wanna join friends are important, at least that’s what I’d like to think.

But then you really have to also find people with similar ideas and goals and those who will actually kick your butt when you fail to do something you promised yourself to do. We are shit at holding ourselves accountable so finding someone who will do it for you is very important.

Something we should remember is that as we grow and evolve the chances of all of your old friends still being here in 20 years is very low. There doesn’t have to be a lot of drama or huge fights. People just grow in different directions and that is ok. Do not decide to forgo your plans and goals just because you feel a friendship might burn out due to that.

No matter who it is, you shouldn’t stop reaching for your goals for them. If they really love and care for you, they will support you even if they don’t understand the reason you are working so hard.

Hope you enjoyed this small post. Share below if you have great insight on this topic 😉

xoxo

Alisa

2 Comments

How to change your life? Challenge 1/5

I have been on a journey to change my life for a while now. I have been conscious that I have to change this to be happy when I was 18ish. I have been trying to do it on and off. Now I am 22. And I still haven’t really achieved the change in me that I would like to see. BUT I have learned a thing or two.  I believe there are many reasons why you don’t reach your fullest potential and here is a list of 5. I will first explain what the issue is and then how to solve it.  I’ll write a blog post separately for each. 

Here is why you don’t succeed:  1) Not believing in myself 2) Not surrounding myself with motivated people 3) Falling into the trap of I don’t feel like it. 4) Trying to change too many things at the same time and thus failing at all of those things, and lastly 5) Thinking about how to/ planning to do things instead of taking action.

Reason 1 – You do not believe in yourself: 

How is this an issue? When we don’t believe that we are capable we often make excuses not to do things. “Well, it won’t work anyway”. Or we try a bit and then get tired and then feel like we aren’t “up for it”. But did we actually try our hardest? Or are trying to live up to our own expectations of imminent failure?

How we communicate with our selves is a huge part of how we act as well.  But how do you begin to believe in yourself? Especially if your goal is big and you’ve “failed”  at it before?

Tip 1: Celebrate small victories. Notice when you make progress, even if it small progress. Let’s say you want to lose weight. And today you didn’t eat anything unhealthy? Give a pat on the back. Maybe even write it down. After that maybe 21-60 days if you repeat that you are actually forming a new habit thus changing your life.

Tip 2: Keep a list of things you have actually done in that day. Make sure that at least 2 things on that list are something to do with your goal. Let’s stay with losing weight example. Those two things could be; not eating junk and going for a walk. If you have done those two things on the list; then you are absolutely on the right track.

Tip 3: If you fail on one day, do not dwell on it. Write a note to yourself saying something nice. Don’t make any excuses though. You failed and that is fine don’t sugar coat it but also don’t beat yourself over it. If within 60 days you slip up once or twice it’s all fine, but if you stop trying totally that means you have given up.

Tip 4: Keep a diary/write a journal prompt of all the things you have achieved, even the small things. Feel good about those achievements and after that make sure you use that joy to fuel your future goals.

In concultion, you have to build trust within yourself that you can do it. One or two small steps at a time. It isn’t something that you will always succeed at. That is why even when you fail you have to be kind (but firm) with yourself. At some point when you look at the list of things you have achieved (including the things you didn’t even remember because you never looked back), you will realize that you have actually done quite a bit.

2 Comments
%d bloggers like this: