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Category: Lessons in life

No matter how young or old you are, life always teaches something new, and I try my hardest to pass what I have learned onto those, who might need it. I by no means think that I have it all covered and all that I have learned can be debated/ disagreed on, these are just some things I believe in.

Frustration

Some of you, scratch that ALL of  you know this feeling. It is this knife turning in your gut, reminding you daily that you are not where you want to be. That no one understands you. You are all alone. The blog isn’t catching off as you would like and your instagram isn’t looking the way you want it to. Your beach body is more like the whale on the beach (please don’t think that you are awesome!) and why didn’t I get A* from that exam? I am sooooo stupid. There is this misconception that for everyone else who was trying to make something of themselves, it was easier, faster that they have something that we don’t.

And of course, most of us know logically, that there is no secret recipe. There is not formula for short cut to success. But still, there is thing nagging voice at the back of your head, laughing at you and making small comments on how you are so slow, and who the heck are you kidding, you can’t even write a full on sentence without at least 2 mistakes. You a blogger? Eh, what a joke! 

But in the world of success, no matter what success looks like for  you, there really isn’t the right way of doing things is there? I mean unless of course you do nothing. But there is no set time limit for success or learning something new. The only thing that is rushing us is well ourselves. We are discouraging ourselves by looking at these pictures on Instagram or videos online. And everything is soooo neat and crisp and clean and put together and I am not like that at all- what is wrong with me?

Let me tell you what is wrong with me, and do not worry I have this exactly same issue. YOU keep rushing, you keep expecting magic to happen where it isn’t supposed to happen. You are comparing someone on level 500 to your level 5. You are looking at everything  else except your own journey. And that will make you suffer. It will make you cry and it will make you feel empty inside. Because you assume that things should be easy.

And we all know life isn’t easy. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, come one, there can’t even be a rainbow without rain (too cliche?). Look I know you won’t listen to me, heck do not listen to me. But I hope you at least take something away from me writing this, because I write this truly from the bottom of my heart, (just as much for me as for you). Let go of expectations! Work hard. Try your best and that is what will make you success. Sure you can look up to people, but do not end up staring so much you miss your own journey.

What hinders you the most in your journey to success or bettering yourself? Please let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share ^^

With a lot of love,

The Writer

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Simplify your studying

I know I know, it is summer, who the F talks about school stuff now? I do. 1st I would like to point out that you can study when ever and studying could be just for your own pleasure and not relating to school what so ever, but making it more simple is very beneficial, no matter what your reason for studying is. So let’s begin shall we?

  1. Make a choice and stick to it. I know it is hard to figure out what our most important subject is at school or what interests us the most outside school but in the end this doesn’t really matter. Just chose a subject and stick to it for 30min-1h. Take everything of your table that isn’t related to that subject and study it. In the end it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t the most “important” one. The goal is to at least start with something.
  2. Do not color code or doodle. Now this will be controversial tip, I know. So many people want their notes to be pretty, and that is great and if color coding and drawing helps you even better! BUT I would suggest to do the doodling and color coding at the end of your notes taking time. This way you can see it as a little treat for yourself, and going over your notes with different pens and drawing things relating to the subject will work as a review.
  3. Use back up sources. I at least myself would often just read a book and concentrate on learning things by hear. And if something was given as homework I felt like I should be able to understand everything without extra research, so I ended up not retaining information, I just learned stuff by heart (if I did). But googling or checking things from a dictionary isn’t a bad thing. It is okay not to know a word or not to understand a difficult concept say in physics or the like. So make it easier for yourself and just google it (or ask someone who knows the subject better….”Mooooom what’s 1+1)
  4. Do not plan too much. You will never make a perfect plan and in the end it just takes a lot of time. Prioritizing in the end is quite simple. 3 Exams coming up? Study for those 3 exams. Which one should be prioritized you ask? Either the one that is going to be first or the one you feel you know the least. The same applies to just normal homework, essays etc. During the school week concentrate on the subject that you have had at school that day. That way the lecture is fresh in your mind.
  5. Update your planner daily, that way you won’t need to have 2h long study planning sessions and you will just see everything in your planner.
  6. Remember to rest. No one can work non stop. And won’t do any favors to yourself if you over work yourself. Even Hermione Granger had a burn out in Harry Potter and of Azkaban book.

Remember that studying and learning should be a satisfying experience where your mind grows and your views broaden and you become better as a person. It is part of personal development. Do not ruin your studying by dreading it too much or making it out to be about life or death, when it is not. You can only do your best, and you know exactly what that is. So keep going and do not give up. If you have any tips or questions do comment :3

Thanks for reading,

The Writer

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I don’t know- and that’s ok

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.

-Socrates

This quote is something that everyone should read and understand. We might feel we know a lot, or might feel we should know a lot, but in the grand scheme of things, the knowledge we have, or thing we have is the size of a bugs sh***. Almost non existent. Now that doesn’t mean you are stupid or that you should start reading like crazy and never sleep so that you will know a bit more. No, this quote at least for me has a calming effect. Most of the time we do not know anything, and that is ok.

If it will make you feel better I can list at least 10 things at the top of my head that I do not know (but maybe I should)

  1. I do not know my purpose.
  2. I do not know most of the major rivers on the planet
  3. I do not know all of the major events in history.
  4. I do not know how old I will live to be.
  5. I do not know if I will have kids in the future.
  6. I do not know if I am studying what I really should.
  7. I do not know half of the compositions/composers I listen to. (classical music)
  8. I know little to nothing about Socrates and yet I used his quote here.
  9. I do not know what my day is going to be like tomorrow.
  10. Physics, maths and chemistry is ALL a huge mystery to me. ( I do know 1+1=2)

These are some things I do not know, and yes I am fully aware that some of the things are just lack of sophistication on my part. ( I promise to read upon at least some of the subjects) but somethings I do not know about is just that they are topics that are much bigger than what I am, like the reason why am I here, what will future bring and how I will die. Those things I will find out one day, but for now I am glad to live in the big un-known.

Do not think of yourself as failure, stupid, not good enough if/when you don’t know everything. Socrates is one of the most known Philosophers of our time ( I mean documented human time here) and yet he had the balls to admit he actually knows nothing. And he really wasn’t stupid now was he?

Keep going keep learning and keep reaching new heights but remember, no one, will ever know everything, and that is the beauty of life.

xoxo

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Comfort zone is necessary

Great things never come from comfort zones

-Joyell Jonson

I am sure you have heard this quote, or something similar many times. It is one of my personal favorites, because it rings true. Well most of the time. Let me elaborate.

People all over the world are busy, all the time. We have 5 different meetings, and we want to learn on more extra talent, because why not? And sometimes we forget that we are mere mortals. We often feel like we have to constantly be doing something, improving ourselves, so that we don’t fall behind from the mass epidemic called productivity.

I am sure you have read all about how to be more productive, efficient and etc. And you have also seen it black on white, that the most productive people don’t do 50 things a day. They do maybe 3-5 things, but really well. And my post is a bit about the same thing.

I want to go one step deeper into this notion that you don’t have to do a lot of things to be productive and successful.  On top of that you have to sometimes be in your comfort zone. Now, do not go telling your coach or someone that I told you, you should be in your comfort zone to reach your goals. That is not my message here. Some times you just have to relax and take it easy, and usually, you are the most relaxed in a comfort zone.

This will look very different for everyone. Someone might enjoy going for a walk in a forest, someone might want to look at a dumb chick flick, and someone might just want to cozy up on the bed with tea and a good book. This is perfectly fine to do once in a while. For example after a great productive day, or in the morning before you even start your day.

When we are out of our comfort zone we are in our stress mode. That isn’t exactly bad , because it just gives us adrenaline to work more and after we achieve the goal we get dopamine to make us feel really good about the accomplishment. But the stress still takes a toll on our body, as well as the roller-coaster of emotions. So sometimes it is good to cleanse the pallet by just doing what you are comfortable with. That way you have more energy and vigor to accomplish the things you have to next day.

Be cautious thought that you do not get too sucked into the world of comfort and leisure. You should have some down time, but not all the time. Keep hustling!

xoxo

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There are no shortcuts

We are impatient beings. We want it all, fame, money, success, a sexy body, and happiness. The problem with that? Very small percentage of people are willing to work for those things. Over time as everything becomes easy and fast, people have started searching for shortcuts not only on computers (ctrl+alt+del) but also in real life. The problem is that life isn’t about a code 1011001101 like a computer is. Life is more complicated than that. And the sad and brutal truth is, that life has no short cuts.

I find it surprising that people do not know this. We as people have always had ways to improve and make our life easier. During the stone age, we would make weapons to make hunting easier and we also invented fire. But even then we couldn’t invent something to stop us from running after our pray. This is the case still today. We can have mechanical pens, computer, I Pad’s and phones, but we still have to put our brain on as well to actually be able to do things. Same goes to achieving fitness goals. We have weights and machines to help us exercise, but you still need to do it. You still need to eat healthy foods to get the body you want.

So, no matter what there are no short cuts. I just don’t see where the problem with this is. Why should there be an easy way out? I mean, we people are designed so that we need a certain level of challenge in order to feel satisfied when we achieve the goal. I mean no one who is 20+ is going to be all pumped up because they were able to draw a stick figure, that is because there was nothing to overcome, no reason to feel very proud.

What we consider a challenge is different for everyone and that should be something that puts you down. You cannot look at a YouTuber making six figures $$$ and expect to be in the same situation after only a week or two of making the videos. Or a blogger who just started and assume you will have a huge number of followers. It takes time, work, commitment, and patience. And even then, maybe you aren’t in your niche, maybe you won’t achieve what you assumed you would. That is fine too. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Changing goals doesn’t equal failure, it means growing and learning new things about yourself, but do not change your goals just because something is too hard. If you really want it, you will push through the hard stuff.

I have just a few tips for you that you may find helpful to stay on track with your goals. These aren’t shortcuts, so stop hoping. These are things that will help you stop feeling like you need shortcuts. So, let’s see what I’ve got for you.

  1. Figure out where you are right now and where you want to be in the future. Are you in the very beginning of achieving your goal or are you half way? Why this is important? This will give you a chance to look at your goal within a period. If you are just starting out you can bet your bottom dollar that you will have to work hard and for longer. If you are about half way through you can assume that it might take 3 months instead of the six months. Do not ever punish yourself for taking time. No proper life goal was EVER achieved within minutes. It takes time, and there is no shame in that.

 

  1. Figure out a realistic time frame for your goal. This goes with the first tip. If you want to lose a huge amount of weight it will take more time than if you want to lose only about a couple of pounds. If you have never gone to the gym you will have to put more effort, or different kind of effort into achieving your fitness goals that someone who has been going for a year or more. Do not give yourself too much time, though. There is this thing called Parkinson’s law, that essentially means that the task you have to do will take exactly the time you give it. If you give yourself 3 months to write an essay, that is how long it will take, but if you give three days, it will work out that way too. (To read about it more check out Parkinson’s law on Wikipedia for example, I will leave a link down below). This is not to say that you can force yourself to get a six pack within 3 days, you still have to be realistic with every task.

 

 

  1. Have role models, not people you compare yourself to. You cannot look at a Victoria Secret model and assume you should look like them automatically. Even with hard work, you might NEVER look like them, mostly because most of them do not eat properly and are photoshopped but also because you aren’t them. You have a different body and you have different genes and that is ok. That’s not to say you can’t look up to them or whoever you look up to. Usually, I suggest looking up to people’s habits, not their looks because habits are actually something you can copy. But do please remember that sometimes things that work for someone don’t for you and you need to put your health and comfort before any blind hero worship. Keep that brain turned on.

 

  1. Track you progress. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, but each week look back and see what you have done to achieve or help achieve your goal (remember baby steps, don’t put yourself down.) Write down the things that you did good, and maybe the things you could have done better. Not for beating yourself over them, but to work on those things later on. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, your tracking could look something like, ate 3 healthy meals per day, slipped up on Sunday. Then think why you slipped up? Did you feel a certain way, or was there peer pressure? Whatever it is written the reason down too, and how you are going to work on that later. For example, telling your friends that you need their support with this because it is close to your heart. Or if it was your own fault write that you won’t go to the store when you are hungry because then you buy everything.

 

  1. Slipping from your goal doesn’t mean you failed it. I know there will be a lot of people saying that it takes 21 or 60 days to achieve a goal, or whatever. But that doesn’t mean that if you slipped up on day 19 that you can’t continue working. It doesn’t mean that whole process was pointless. It just means that you learned what not to do. I think personally that achieving goals isn’t so much about the days that it takes but the mindset you have. It isn’t like if you want to become fit that after the 21st day it no longer takes effort? You still have to work hard. What matters is your mind. It takes some time to teach your mind to forget a certain pattern and learn a new one, and it doesn’t matter how many days it takes because I believe all of us are different. With big goals like success, fitness, learning and health there isn’t really an end line. Of course, you can make a timeline how long you assume you will achieve a mini goal within the big goal, but after you have to continue pushing. So if you one day actually did something that you weren’t supposed to, don’t give up, just continue where you left off.

Parkinson’s Law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson’s_law

That is all I have for now. There are a lot of other tips and most of what I have said has been said before, but I added my own little twist. If you have comments or questions please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you very much and see you in my next post.

-The Writer

 

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A rant: Which truth is more true?

I love watching youtube and I love social media. I love people and I love long talk with people. But some things bother me, but especially this one: Assuming that one person knows the whole truth about everything.

I notice this pattern online. Someone says something at it resonates with some people, and someone says something that contradicts it, and the first thing they do to the person who dared to have a different opinion? Attack! (This is SPARTA).

I mean yes, if someone is on purpose being mean and evil then, of course, you have to step in and say something, and maybe even if they aren’t mean, leaving a comment with your opinion isn’t bad. But when we go into personal things like ” You are just ugly and jealous and you don’t get this and the other person has more followers so they must be right” then that’s just plain stupid.

I notice that most often it is just best to not say anything if you aren’t 100% sure you don’t come off as rude. The thing is, no matter how much you tell your opinion online, there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees, and that is not always a bad thing.  Disagreeing is a gate for discussion, not always does it lead to anything good but sometimes it does. You have to be the judge of the situation, though, and think if it really is important to prove yourself to be right.

And sometimes even if you know you are right, then it’s smarter to just walk away. Some conversations are just never going to end and will suck the life from you, when someone “knows” something, no matter what you say will change their mind. So just save your breath and have a discussion with someone who can teach you something or who is open to being taught. In the end, you can not get through a wall if there is no weak spot in it.

Live and let live, not all arguments are to be won and you don’t always have to be right. Sometimes there can be multiple truths and sometimes it doesn’t matter what the truth is. As long as you are confident in what you believe in and that makes you happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone else) then just continue believing in what you believe.

For the love of what is holy, please get off your high horses people, really, chances are we are all wrong.

-The Writer

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A rant; Trash

I have a lot of stuff. I have so much stuff that I do not need that I don’t always remember what I even have. I have clothes I don’t wear and I have a lot of stuff I could give away or sell. I am not a hoarder but over time there are just things that accumulate and somehow they just stay around. And  I bet most of you can relate. But this isn’t really my issue right now, though its certainly an important thing to remember and I have it on my to do list to lessen the amount of crap I have.

My issue is the total disregard for anything we own. The disrespect we have for money and the amount of trash we produce every year. For example have some of you noticed the videos on Instagram that are “so satisfying” but then they are just about cutting a phone up, or dropping it from X high building or shooting 7 phones to see if the bullet goes through the 8th one. Yeah, there are those types of people. And I am not even talking about trashy phones, I am talking about really expensive I phone. Not that it’d matter in the end because my biggest concern is the amount of waste, problematic waste that produces. It isn’t like they are cutting up a flower that will later on turn to dirt. No it is metal and plastic, and if its properly broken or cut apart can those parts even be used again?

Even if those phones would be given to the video maker for free. Or they would be faulty ones that would go to the trash anyway, those videos teach people something very dangerous. We do not have to care or take care about what we own, because it is replaceable. And that thought that idea is dangerous, not because it wouldn’t be true to an extent but because we are already abusing our planet, we already have so much stuff we don’t need and so much we throw out every day, that the attitude that we can continue doing that with no consequences is dangerous. And very sad.

I feel sad that kids these days don’t even feel sorry for breaking their phones because they know they will get a new one. I feel sad that some people find it satisfying to just break and damage stuff that another person with less privileges can’t even imagine ever having. If you have so much money to just throw away, then throw it at someone who needs it. Invest in your education or business, do not trash our already dying planet.

I am not a hardcore activist. I have a phone and I have stuff I don’t really need, just like all of us do. But to on purpose, without any thought or regret trashing our planet, adding to the already drastic changes that our planet is having, is immature, sad and just plain neglectful of our future generation as well as the animals that live here. So please for the love of our future, this planet or what ever you actually find dear, think before you break something, think before you add salt to the wounds of this planet. Haven’t we done enough damage?

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Who Am I?

We often find people online saying things like “I found out who I was this year” or “I have no clue who I am” and questions/ realizations like that. And I am one of those people who has been 100% sure I’ve figured out who I am at the age of 15, and I have questioned who I am for the whole year of 2016 (at the age of 20).

By the end of 2016, I realized we won’t really ever know who we are. After all, we always learn something new, until the day that we die.

Every day we are changed a bit. We read an article or book that moves us. We learn a new way to look at things, or we find out that our favorite color isn’t purple but turquoise, and in the end, those things are very small. But they change who we are.  And the best thing about this? It is totally ok. There is no shame in not knowing who you are.

Now, I realize a lot of people will misunderstand this. “If I don’t know who I am, how can I do anything in life?” And the answer is simple. You do what feels like the right thing to do, by the person you are today. Chances are it is the same thing as yesterday, and it will be the same thing tomorrow. But also not knowing what you want to do is ok. Then you just work hard at what life gives you right now.

For example, I study at a University of Applied sciences to become a management assistant. Do I want to do that for the rest of my life? Probably not, do I absolutely love studying it, nope, not really. But I got into the school, I love languages and I have an opportunity to study them there without becoming a teacher or a language researcher or something, so, I took the chance. Because I see that I am at least taking steps forward. I will try my best to learn everything the school offers me and enjoy the process of becoming smarter. I will have a chance to study for a semester abroad and I find that to be very exciting.

My point is you do not have to know who you are, to do something. I would describe myself as an artist, as I love writing, not just for my blog, but fantasy as well. But would I want to become a writer? I actually think I might. I don’t know what I want as my scale of success to be. Would I want fame out of it? I don’t know. But I write for myself and those who I can help, not to become famous. I love to think about life and the meaning of it and ponder how to make it better for myself. Am I a philosopher, not even close.

Who you were this morning is not set in stone. You do not have a contract signed with your blood. It is okay to not know who you are; if and only if, you work hard at making progress. When you make progress you gain more in life, you can do more in life, and even though you are always going to be a work in progress, at least you are moving on in your life. You aren’t stuck in your mind thinking “Who I am, What is my purpose.”  I can guarantee that you will never find the answer to that if you don’t do something and be happy about having the chance to figure out even more of what you do not know.

Thank you for reading! Be sure to leave me a comment of what you think? Does someone disagree? What is the hardest thing for you in not knowing who you are?

With love,

The Writer

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