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Category: Lessons in life

No matter how young or old you are, life always teaches something new, and I try my hardest to pass what I have learned onto those, who might need it. I by no means think that I have it all covered and all that I have learned can be debated/ disagreed on, these are just some things I believe in.

How to change your life: Challenge 3/5

Published by ChangedLife365 on October 30, 2018

Do you suffer from that pesky little nagging 5-year old voice in your head that says; “But I don’t feel like it” Buy these pills to shut that little brat up….

Well not quite. But let’s try get some perspective shall we. Why is that voice even bad to have?

Let us go way way back. If our ancestors would have lived their lives with the “I don’t feel like it” mentality we would literally be instinct. Imagine how that would work with a wolf running after you and your family or with needing to harvest the crop but “I can totally do it tomorrow” And then tomorrow comes and you realize that the frost killed off the crop… Well, that went well…

And I know that this idea doesn’t work in today’s society because you can literally ask food to be sent to you by uber… but is that really the life you want to live. The issue that I noticed with this idea for myself was that my life was so so so boring. Go to class, check the phone for most of that class, get home be on the computer for most of that time, eat and go to sleep. If you have a due date then just work for 1h like crazy and send a meh text to the teacher… And then the same next day and next week and so on.

But what if you don’t do it that way? What if you actually do everything on time and when you do things you do them with energy?  I haven’t mastered this. BUT I did start doing more things this fall. I seriously worked on forcing myself to participate in things and got to meet new people and gained some serious opportunities. It didn’t really take that much. I mean sure we had to work for example with the volunteer project we had making the event and all but what I gained out of it was so much more valuable than the work I put in.

If you want to check more about this idea of just killing of the phrase “I don’t feel like it” you should check Mel Robbins. She also has a great TED talk on how to stop screwing yourself over:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

The thing is also that even if you just decide to not do something, you will have it on your mind all the time. Even if just a little. You can’t relax properly. And sometimes you can get away with it. Like if you are sick or if you really have so much to do but if you don’t have that 30 min bath for yourself then you’ll literally hang yourself (Please never let yourself get that far into a burnout)  then you can actually justify having a pause. But if the pause 24/7 just because you don’t feel like doing something, it won’t do you any good.

Let’s see if this way of thinking about it helps;  If you would give yourself a stress grade of 50 on writing that essay right? That would be if you’d just do it right now. This is without waiting at all.

  • Let’s give each day that you don’t do it, but it’s on your mind a stress grade of 5.
  • After ten days that ends up already being 50.
  • Then if you write that essay under time pressure because you have to give it in tomorrow as you waited way too long. That means you have a stress level of 90 because you have to write it NOW. So 50 + 90= 140. That is 90 stress levels more than necessary.
  • Add into that the stress of after because you know you didn’t do a good job so each day you wait if you failed the essay you have a stress level of 20. Waiting for a week would give you 140 extra stress points.
  • All together 280…. instead of the 50 that you would have otherwise had. That is a LOT of stress, that you just don’t need.

So write into your calendar a block of time when you will do it. I will talk about calendar blocking more in the future. But in short, the idea is this. You choose a block of time. Say, from 10 to 12 you do a task. Let’s keep the essay as an example. One block could be research then the next day the block could be making an essay plan and then the day after that actually writing the essay. If you cut the process of writing an essay into manageable pieces you might even lower the stress grade of 50 to way less because you realize the task isn’t as daunting and horrible as you thought.

One last thing, (I swear I will stop bothering you with this soon) if you keep just postponing it and then do it all under pressure and stress, you will be able to tell yourself “See I knew it this would be horrible, I never want to do it again. I will always leave it for the last second so I don’t have to think about it”. That idea is stupid of course because you just made it horrible for yourself because you left it for the last minute. But that doesn’t register and then you are in a vicious cycle.

So just go and do it!  Whatever it is you have right now.

Leave a comment to let me know if I made any sense and like if you like. Don’t forget to follow and see you in my next post šŸ™‚

xoxo, Alisa

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5 Ways to combat laziness

5 Ways to combat laziness

Published by ChangedLife365 on September 11, 2018

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

-Jules Renard

1st some science: Science shows that there are people who are more likely to be lazy and those who are less likely and it is a lot to do with our genes. So there is such a thing as “couch potato gene”. Essentially what it does makes us have fewer dopamine receptors, that means that we aren’t going to be awarded as easily for the activities we do by our brains. (And while this is usually related with sports, it is just as accurate with other daily tasks) And really we don’t have many idiots who do things without awards. So when does this become a problem?

Video by AsapSCIENCE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd7wAithl7Ii

When is laziness a problem?Ā 

It becomes a problem when instead of living your life you just exist. At least for me, that is an issue. I have realized that I am bored with life. I just go through the motions. I go to school see my friends once in a while and other than that I just watch YouTube. Don’t get me wrong. Having a pause and go through social media is great, sometimes. It can’t be your life. And really, you watching dog videos or insta pics is something that makes our brains even lazier. Why should you doĀ anything when you get a dopamine hit right from the comfort of your bed. And this is how the vicious cycle starts. So what to do?

What are my 5 tips?

  1. Force yourself to do more things. Put yourself into projects and situations from which you can’t back out of easily. I am doing to projects now where there is quite a bit on my shoulders and me backing out of them would just seem pathetic. Of course, if it would be a life or death thing, it’d be different. I wouldn’t go there if I’d be in a car crash. BUT I am not comfortable just letting them hear an excuse, you know?
  2. This is related to the last tip but: Add things to your calendar so you just don’t have time to lazy around for 5 hours. Look it’s easier to be lazy when you have only like 4 lessons a week and you seem to have so much free time. But what if you work, have a couple of extra projects and then also some of your own goals? This is not to say that you should work yourself to death. But when you don’t have too much extra time you are forced to organize your time. There is no; “I’ll do this later” because you literally don’t have any time later. Or you don’t want to risk it in case of something coming up. And I mean I am sure all of us also want to see our friends right?
  3. Do not sleep in. I know half of you hate me right now because you love to sleep and the other half because you have heard this so many times. But at least for me if I sleep more than 7 -8 hours I feel very sluggish. And sometimes it’s fine. But if you want to stop being lazy becoming sluggish and having a heavy head is not doing you any favors. Most people are at their best when they sleep 6 to 8 hours (depends on your age) and this is something I have found to be true.
  4. If you, however, sleep in, start your day slow, that doesn’t mean all your hope is gone and you have an excuse to be lazy all day. (Sorry old me and anyone who uses this as an excuse) Look just this weekend both days I slept in. I gave myself permission, to be honest, because I have been a bit sick and don’t want to make it worse and after sleeping in I got this sluggish feeling like I often do. Saturday I only started working after 4pm. I went for a walk before that and took a cool shower to wake me up. Then I just got paper and wrote the things that are on the top of my head (those things usually are the ones that bother you the most thus very likely to be a high priority) I didn’t do all on that list but I can honestly say I was productive for at least 4 hours. And that is way more than nothingĀ  I could have done because I didn’t wake up at 5 like I would have liked to)
  5. If you don’t do the little things don’t expect yourself to have the energy to do the big things. If you are too lazy to brush your teeth, wash your face, make your bed, get dressed properly; why the f*** would you have the energy to finish a project or go for a run? All the small things count. You give yourself momentum when you finish the small tasks. And if you start your day by choosing that those things aren’t important why would anything else be? Just be a smelly blob for a day and wonder why you can’t make yourself do anything… I’ve been there and done that and you know what. It isn’t a very positive space to be in. This is why so many highly efficient people are obsessed with routines. If they can finish up a good routine be it in the morning, gym or evening. It builds momentum for the day or the next day.

Bonus tip:Ā  Do not burn yourself up. I don’t want you to faint one day and say it was because I told you to keep yourself so busy you can’t ever be lazy, because that is not my goal at all. Quite frankly once I have perfected my calendar I want to cross out Sunday totally and make it just a funday. It doesn’t matter if it’s for friends or for me to just be in bed and watch a movie. The main point is just for it to be free for whatever I want it to be. Also, this isn’t the only day you have a right to be lazy or to have fun. If your steps for your goals have been met on a Monday by say 4pm you have a right to go out with friends or whatever you want. Don’t have to form an army routine. BUT at first, an army routine might be helpful so that the “couch potato gene” doesn’t get you.

Thanks for reading and good luck with battling laziness!

More posts by me:Ā 

5 things Iā€™ve learned while trying to change my life

Stars sentenced to death

-Alisa

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Does money/success make us happy?

Published by ChangedLife365 on August 12, 2018

Does it suck that I have to say yes and no?

If we only concentrate on becoming rich so we can blow the money on drinks and yachts and never do anything smart with the money, you won’t be happy. You can ask anyone who gets rich without real purpose. Money for the sake of money isn’t fulfilling. And that is ok.

So in what ways does money make you happy?

  1. You have stability you will not have without money. It is important to know you can go home to sleep for the night. That if you are sick you can go to the doctors. That in case your car breaks down, you can afford to repair it.
  2. It gives you a chance to sometimes get some luxury when you need to have a vacation from stressful work you can see a bit of the world. You can share some fun times with your friends.
  3. If someone needs help you can do that. Money just for you, in the end, serves its purpose and then it no longer helps. It’s like how many pairs of shoes do you need to make you happy? After that, how about you share that joy and give someone else some of that joy. The pair you gift them might be the only pair they will own for next 6 months. They need it more than you anyway. You did a good job and you will feel better about it. (And it doesn’t have to be to someone you don’t know, could be taking a friend out for dinner cosĀ  you know they can’t afford that luxury right now or something of the like)

The post has been inspired by this video. You should definitely check it out šŸ™‚ And their channel, in general, is very beneficial for inspiring young people getting a healthier relationship with money:Ā https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XR9yLTZJk

What do you think about money and how it affects your life? Do you have a healthy relationship with money? I must admitĀ  I don’t really,Ā  but I am working on it.

Remember to like and comment! Have a nice beginning of the new week tomorrow šŸ™‚

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Concentrating on me…blog comes second

Published by ChangedLife365 on July 8, 2018

So I have been writing blogs on and off since I was like…. 17? And I like writing but I do not hold myself to a great standard and that kind of sucks… I mean for me to be a good blogger who advocated for personal development I should actually lead by example and to be honest I don’t.

I feel like a fake doctor writing the blog and talking about how to live your life but still not even doing so myself… And I think it is time for me to take a long long pause. And just concentrate on the things I can change in me and my life, one step at a time. Without this feeling of pressure of already needing to be there…

I will most likely once in a while write. But this blog is going to be a hobby mostly. Maybe I will pick it up soon again maybe it will take years time… maybe it will never be my thing again. But for now. Do not expect consistency I need to concentrate on my actual life goals right now and that is to improve my health, mental physical and spiritual if you will šŸ™‚

Thanks for understanding

xoxo

Alisa

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What is wrong with Social media?

Published by ChangedLife365 on July 8, 2018

I love love love love social media. I love looking at amazing pictures on Instagram or Weheartit or watching videos on Youtube. Learning about new things, talents and people through social media is great. Being able to connect with your friends whether they live next door or if they are 5000km away. But there so many issues and I think the sooner we accept that these are issues and we aren’t supposed to just “take it” the better.

  1. We aren’t supposed to post everything about everything. This is so so fake and sometimes mean. If you are about to help a homeless person. You do NOT need to take a video of it. That is just asking for thanks from other people. If you see a fight do not stop to take a video but call 911 or 112 depending on where you live. If you are about to go to the bathroom to take a dump, stop taking selfies every time in the bathroom. There is nothing with the concept of selfies but if it means that your friends have to wait on the outside for 10 minutes (or more) for you take the perfect on… that’s just sad.
  2. We do not have to accept that our attention span is soon shorter than a what a goldfish has.Ā  I have a teacher in school who is a social marketing guru. And he is great don’t get me wrong. But I noticed that he kind of seemed to confuse marketing and day to day life. I took his course on Social media marketing and he taught us with videos. All of the videos were 3-10 minutes long maximum 15. And every time the video would be almost 15 min long he would keep apologizing for it being so long. Look in marketing the shorter the video with your point still getting spread the better BUT when we are learning something short ass videos is just frustrating. I had to all the time click for the next vid and to click it to start and all of that isn’t hard to do. It just made the subject really fragmented. What I mean is that we don’t have to just accept that our attention span is getting shorter. Just because digitalization is a real thing and to accept it doesn’t mean that we have to accept everything that comes with it. We need to still be able to concentrate for more than 30 seconds or 3 minutes at a time. It is impossible to write a 30-second book or to have a movie play out in 30 seconds (and for us to actually get the value out of them.)
  3. Beauty standards.Ā We do not and never have to accept it. Here is why. If we look at a photo of a scientifically beautiful person. They are in every way symmetrical. Their eyes are on the same line (exactly) there nose is right down the middle of the face and so on. The issue is that of an actual human this “perfect” human looks alien like. They do not look good. So what I am trying to say is that there is no such thing as perfection because even scientific perfection doesn’t really look that good. What we do have to concentrate is on health. Actual overall health. Shape and size don’t automatically mean anything. Just like whether or not you have a “perfect” nose or something of the like. (Also what is a perfect nose?)
  4. Life standards.Ā We aren’t all going to live in a villa near a beach with pool boys surrounding us. I mean we can do that. If we work hard and we achieve our goals (but I don’t even know if that should be everyone’s goal… to each their own) But let’s stop comparing our lives to the perfectly constructed story we are told on social media. It isn’t healthy.

Social media is interesting and fun. But we have to draw a line somewhere. How many hours do we scroll the feeds? How shitty do we feel when we see that person have everything we don’t? What about the way it affects our brains in a negative way? All these things aren’t something we have to accept!

Thanks for reading! Comment below what you think šŸ™‚ What bothers you the most in Social Media?

Xoxo

-Alisa

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10 things to STOP right now

Published by ChangedLife365 on July 6, 2018

I am not sitting on a high horse here, I swear to god I do these things too. I just think we should pay attention to these things more.

  1. Stop saying sorry for how you look. Even if you haven’t tried to “put yourself together” you have absolutely NO reason to apologize how you look. Just be unapologetically you. It’s the best thing for yourself you can do.
  2. Stop saying you are OCD, depressed etc. Sure you might be precise in something or feel like shit once in a while. But unless you actually suffer from these conditions it sounds almost demeaning. I mean is it OCD to make your bed daily? No, that is not even close to what OCD is. Same thing with depression. And if you keep telling yourself you are depressed all the time, even if you just have a shitty moment in a day, who says it won’t become the truth? Concentrating on the bad definitely makes you more likely to only notice that.
  3. Stop trying to justify what you are doing to others. As long as you aren’t doing anything illegal or hurting someone, you don’t owe anyone anything. So stop explaining. Just do what you want/need to do, and let everyone else stress about your life if they want to do that. That is their problem, not yours. Trying to get validation from everyone just makes sure you never liveĀ your life and that is not something you want to realize when you are 80…
  4. Stop talking about motivation. Try to eliminate that word even from the thoughts you have. (I don’t feel like it goes into the same category.) If there is no such thing as motivation or feeling like doing something you have no excuse not to do that thing.
  5. Stop talking shit about others. I am going to be realistic, you sometimes will feel like shit about someone and what they did or said. But you will save time if you don’t gossip about them.
  6. Stop scrolling your phone in the morning and in the evening when its bedtime. The bed should be a no phone zone. I am not good at this. But it will make your day start better and it will make you feel more sleepy in the evening when social media hasn’t filled you with things to think about. And we all know what the blue light does!
  7. Stop listening to music all the time. (I say as I write this and listen to music…) but the idea is that we need to get used to silence as well. How often have you spent a proper amount of time with no phone and no music or video on the background? If you can’t be calm in silence that isn’t normal. It isn’t good for you. It technically means you can’t be one on one with yourself. I am one of these people. How do you know if you are too? Just close all sources of noise and see how long you last before you feel uncomfortable. If you can’t last more than an hour, or you feel anxious you should get used to silence.
  8. Stop planning. I am a planner. I write what I should do and when and how long it will take me and how amazing it would be to achieve xyz. But do I achieve these things? No. I just talk and talk and talk and I think I will do them when I feel like it and motivated… wait but I can’t use those terms… so I must do it now or realize it isn’t a priority.
  9. Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do. Rather just say no I can’t/ don’t want to do something that promises that you will do it and then have to come up with a legit sounding excuse to why you need to cancel. It will make you less stressed when you feel like you need to do way more than you can. And it will make you more reliable because when you say yes it actually means yes.
  10. Stop leaving stuff where it doesn’t belong. Don’t leave those pants on the floor, or the pens into the wrong drawer. Make your life easier for yourself and just put everything where it belongs. Trust me not only will you save time, you will feel calmer and collected when your room doesn’t look like a tornado hit it.

In the end, these habits aren’t really that difficult to change, but in the long run, they will save you time, make you feel better about yourself and really they just make you seem more like an adult. So let’s all try to stop doing this, shall we!

Thanks for reading! What is the most difficult thing on the list, for you?

xoxo

-Alisa

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Why can’t you find happiness?

Published by ChangedLife365 on July 1, 2018

There are obviously so many different things that make us unhappy in life. But I think that the biggest reason, honestly is that we define happiness in a fundamentally wrong way.

Let’s make a very very clear point here: Happiness is NOT the total 100% rainbow and unicorn existence with rainbows and sprinkles!Ā The only way you will achieve that kind of happiness is by using drugs and even then it won’t last forever and if you try to make it last forever you will die of an overdose (that is not today’s topic though)

So how does this relate anything to the reason why we can’t find the happiness you may ask? Very simply put, I think people say I am not happy, and I want to find happiness because they don’t realize that they will never be happy all the time. I am not talking for all people here of course. My point is probably best described by Jay Shetty. He is a rebel turned monk, turned influencer and you should really check him out. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoErccq0vw)

What he has said is that we should look at life from the perspective of aĀ  lifeline. If your life is going up and down it means that your heart is beating, the only way you can have a constant happiness (or sadness) is when you have a flat line. Essentially that means that you are dead. In the interview, I linked this is explained at about 16min 22s.

My point is that we don’t want to accept that we will never be constantly happy. It is normal to feel sad once in a while. Anger as well. This is one of the reasons I like the French language. There are 2 different words to use for the English word happy. Meaning different things…

Joyeux means happy. You would say it to a person having a birthday party (Joyeux Anniversaire) but heureuse, that is beyond happiness. It is being contented. It would be something someone would say about getting married to the love of their life or giving birth to a child. It isn’t as if the marriage never has any issues or that raising a kid will always be fun. But is about the feeling of contentment and peace that you know you wouldn’t have it any other way.Ā  (Obviously, these things can be achieved by more than just having kids or getting married they are just the most common examples I can come up with. )

So think beyond just the bursts of feelings you have on the daily basis. If you aren’t laughing all the time doesn’t mean you aren’tĀ heureuse. But if you all the time feel like nothing matters, nothing brings joy then you can safely say you aren’t happy(heureuse)Ā  and you should search for answers. But on avergage, I think that we just assume life is supposed to be easy, and we are supposed to laugh and never have a shitty day at work. And that is just not the case.

As always I thank you for reading. I hope you found the post interesting and helpful and I would love to have a conversation about this in the comment section below.

xoxo

-Alisa

 

 

 

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5 things I’ve learned while trying to change my life

Published by ChangedLife365 on June 28, 2018

Since I have been working and I have 2 summer courses to do (Due date is 01.07) I have not been writing. I really need to get the hang of writing in advance and just scheduling the post for later. Something else to add to my “To improve” list. But let’s start with today’s topic, shall we?

Some weeks back I wrote a blog post about wanting to change my life in 365 days. Try to work on bettering everything I can, for those 365 days. I hope you guys have jumped on the journey with me. (If you haven’t read the post yet here it is;Ā https://changedlife365.net/2018/05/12/change-my-life-in-365/)

About 1,5 months ago I decided that I want to work on myself for every day of the year. To commit to improving who I am. I have been realizing some things along the way.Ā  So what have I learned?

  1. You can’t try too many things at once. I knew this before. It is something I have struggled with before. It just has been emphasized while I have been trying to work on the things I am working on right now. If I wake up at 5 which is my goal, I won’t resist chocolate that day. One big decision in a day, that is all my brain can handle. And it is just going to be either or for now. It doesn’t mean I have to have only the 5 am as a goal for the whole year, but until it becomes easier, changing something else that requires a lot of self-discipline will have to wait.
  2. Not all those things that I thought will be good for me are going to work. It is ok to let some goals go to the graveyard for goals (there are a lot of them buried there, let us have a silent moment to all of those good intentions.) For example; meditating the moment I wake up. NOT possible, at least not right now, because I just fall back asleep. Sure I am probably relaxed and maybe even present while I sleep but since I am not aware of it. There is no point.
  3. Goals shouldn’t be there because they make sense to others. I have people around me (mostly family) who think that waking up at 5 is crazy. Why wouldn’t you rest? But I mean I do rest…I just go to sleep earlier. But my point is that you can’t make everyone see your point. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. I have noticed that I am more productive and feel better when I wake up at 5. I don’t know if it is psychological or I am just a morning person, but I don’t even have my afternoon slump when I wake up early.
  4. You won’t succeed every day. That doesn’t mean you should give up. While my post is called changing my life in 365 days that doesn’t mean I will be perfect on all of those days. The only thing I promised is that I will do my best to work on myself for the next year with a commitment. Apart from that, no promises. I have had those days that I have just been meh. Somedays have started well but ended meh. And some the other way around.
  5. Time goes slow and fast at the same time. I made the Change my life in 365Ā posts on May 12th and now that I started to write this blog post I felt like it was half a year ago and almost like there was no point on working on that “challenge” anymore. Then I checked the date and realized it has been about 1,5 months and that is not that long at all. Yet in that time have had time to work already almost a month at the job I currently work at and also have projects due in a couple of days and it seems I just started them. Time is such a relative concept. I should probably write about that too one day. Anyway, my point is to try to not think about time while trying to make progress in such big things like changing your life. It takes time and effort but even if you fall off the tracks once in a while that isn’t the main point. Getting back on them is the important part.

Hello, my fellow Lifechangers! I hope you like this post and that it helps. If you want to see similar posts please like and follow and I mean I really like comments too… šŸ˜‰

xoxo

-Alisa

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How to: Feelings

Published by ChangedLife365 on June 4, 2018

We are told daily not to get unhappy and not to be stressed and donā€™t feel anything that might seem a bit negative. God forbid that someone gets angry for being punched in the face. I am not here to tell you that you should wallow in self-pity and mope around. What I am saying to you is that you might as well ā€œrideā€ out these feelings.

Feeling angry? It isnā€™t an issue if you donā€™t pour gasoline into it. Ignoring the feeling of anger is often like gasoline. It might not work in the same sense as actual gasoline where you combust right away. But you ignoring the feeling for a long time will make it build up and then, later on, you will explode. A loved one that said something that you hated? Tell them about it right away. No one needs you to play martyr and just ā€œturn the other cheekā€. Not in this case.

Tell them that you didn’t like it. Because if you let that hurt/anger sit it will explode later when they do a fifth thing that you donā€™t like. And you might say something you regret. They might not know why your reaction is as big as it is. Also, girls, letā€™s not play the ā€œ If you donā€™t get why I am angry I am not telling youā€ Ā game. That is soĀ not cool. Unless itā€™s like the 10th anniversary or your birthday that they really should know by now. Otherwise just say it straight.

If you feel sad and want to cry. Just do that. If anyone judges you let them. In todayā€™s age, we are told to repress our feelings. That will lead to either exploding later on or maybe not being able to open up at all. Then we wonder why we feel depressed, but it really isnā€™t a wonder if we keep everything bottled up.

Itā€™s the same with stress. You must learn to manage stress that is true. Meditation, writing down the reasons why you are stressed and going out for a walk or with friends are some ways to manage stress. But telling yourself that you shouldnā€™t feel stressed and why am I stressed isn’t. Trying to force is out of your body will only make it worse. No one can have a good meditation if the only thought in your mind is ā€œI canā€™t stressā€ on a loop.

On the flip side, you should also freely feel the good and happy feelings. Not in a cocky bitchy way. Not is someone is having a bad day and you go to them and say ā€œoh no, but oh well I am having a great dayā€. But if you are proud of achieving something then just say so. If not to anyone else then to yourself. Or maybe write about it in your journal. While being cocky and narcissistic is something that everyone should avoid being, too much of modesty will make others discredit you as well.

If someone says you have written something well, thank them and maybe joke slightly like ā€œOh you noticed it too huhā€ But never just outright diss your work ā€œOh no, its absolute garbage, Iā€™m sure a 5-year-old could have done itā€ Ā It might get you some sympathetic comments at first but later on people will just stop complimenting you and may even start to think the same things. Because if you canā€™t be proud of that work, why should they be impressed with it?

Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated as always and please follow. If you feel someone needs this blog post please share. Sharing is after all caring.

xoxo

Alisa

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Why we Fail With New Habits

Published by ChangedLife365 on May 20, 2018

I’ve mentioned this before but let’s start with the basics. What is habit forming like? When we form habits the brain stops working as hard to make us achieve a task. That is why we might forget how we got to work or whether or not we locked the door. Brains just go on autopilot.

That is also an issue when you are trying to stop doing something and change it to a good thing, e.g stop eating too much junk food and eat something healthy instead. For our brain, it is easier to just fall back into the old routine of getting a burger from BurgerKing after work rather than going to the store to buy healthy alternatives and actually making food.

So what do we do that makes us fail at forming new habits, even if we take into account how the brain forms these habits?

We try to achieve all our new dream habits at once.

  • I will go to the gym five times a week
  • Iā€™ll never eat a burger in my life, ever
  • I will start getting A*ā€™s on all my exams

That is just not realistic. First of all most habits have many steps to them. If you want to lose weight, you must start exercising, eating healthy and if you are very serious probably start counting macros and maybe doing food prep. That is four habits (if you are going really hardcore) that you want/have to change. It wonā€™t all happen in one night. So if on top of that you have 50 other habits with each of them having 2-3 sub-habits. Boy, are you in for hell! And you will fail. Trust me, been there done that. 

The more you do in a day that will cause you resistance, the more likely you are to give up after say 2 hours. This issue also ties into trying to change a huge thing in your life as the example of losing weight; it is technically just one goal. But if you have never climbed a mountain you wouldnā€™t start your goal by climbing Mount Everest. So why do that with your habits?

If we are only thinking about the outcome, we will never be motivated by the process. You will not change your life around in one day. And some days you will probably not do anything towards your goal and that will suck. It is the reality though. If you are only waiting to see how your life is magically transformed, you will never reach your goal, because you feel defeated before you properly get started.

We assume that just because some change in our life is small. It doesnā€™t matter. But big things are made up of many small things. If you make sure to always take the stairs,  you will have better health even if itā€™s just a little bit. Writing one page from a 10-page essay means that you have less to do later. Both of those are small changes but they make a difference. So going to the gym only once a week doesnā€™t make you weak, just because Becky can do it 5 times a week. It just means you arenā€™t in the same place as her. (And let’s be honest here, she probably just lifts her phone to take insta pictures and that isnā€™t working out properly)

What if we have an issue deciding what it is that we want to do? Well, try picking a keystone habit. This is a habit that makes it easier to change other habits after you have mastered it. For example; Doing sports. Becoming active will ensure that you are more healthy and thus have more energy and quite often that can mean better results at school or being able to wake up earlier and that way you can get more done in a day.  This could also be drinking water, getting better sleep or eating healthier.

One more thing. You must choose one habit you concentrate on. But that doesnā€™t have to be the only thing you do. I am right now working on waking up at 5.30. (I swear Iā€™m not insane, I will just have a hella busy summer) Anyway, just because that is my goal. Doesnā€™t mean I donā€™t do anything else for the rest of the day. I am also working on not being on social media so much and trying to study better during the day. But if there is one thing I want to achieve in each day (the minimum) it is to wake up at 5.30.

Since I am on the journey to change my life, changing habits is a very interesting and important for me right now. While I was searching for information for this blog post I stumble on these sites. How they give you more information if you need it:

https://jamesclear.com/habits-fail

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320874.php

https://jamesclear.com/keystone-habits

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t forget to leave a comment. What did you think of this blog post and what would you like to hear next.

xoxo

– Alisa

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