Goals

What I want to do and achieve, how to make it easier and how to maintain the goals you have achieved.

How and why make quarantine your bitch!?

We are in quarantine yes, it sucks BUT: Let’s make quarantine our bitch Here is how:

We have extra time, now that we aren’t commuting, that we don’t have to drive, that we don’t have to prep for going out/seeing friends, going to hobbies. We have it and we can use it, to innovate solutions for our business’, to improve ourselves, to learn skills that will be useful after this pandemic is over. We can’t just sit and wait and once its done be like oh wait I’m not prepared, I didn’t know we would move forwards from this?!

Morning routine tips by yours truly

We can always use our circumstance as an excuse or as a motivator, which will you chose? I chose to make quarantine my bitch πŸ˜€

I chose to learn during my free time. I use books on Scribd; an audiobook service and Skillshare that is a learning platform. You can use Youtube, documentaries, book extra work your teachers gave you. Anything that works for you.

Don’t get me wrong I still have my work. BUT I don’t have to drive to work now, I can concentrate on tasks at hand so I get things done faster. I can use my lunch break to listen to an audiobook or a skillshare class. And since I don’t see people in the evenings I can use that time for learning too. (Study tips by me πŸ˜‰ )

Here are some tips and ideas on how to make quarantine our bitch. It doesn’t matter if you spend the extra time learning new skills, exercising or even just innovating how to keep your kids busy during the day ;D

  1. Don’t wait for motivation. This will only lead to disappointment and stress. You wait and you wait, till finally, you end up realizing it isn’t coming and you need to cram shit right away. (or you realize quarantine is over and you gained 10 pounds instead of losing them) I get it. With quarantine school is different/work is different and it may seem like you have more time, and you do in away. But even this time can be wasted.
  2. Rewards tasks that are automatic. E.g. cleaning your room, making your bed, going for a walk. Not tasks that require creativity. If you are expecting a reward, you won’t think outside the box as you will want to see the fastest solution to your problem, not the effective one.
  3. Just because everyone is home now (unless you live home alone like me) doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries. Tell your siblings you will be studying from 9-12 and from 1 pm-5 pm or however ever your timetable is organized. If you work from home, tell your kids to concentrate on their tasks and once you all are done you can play a game/watch movie, etc. (Or innovate other ways to keep them busy… I know kids don’t just listen simply because you said so :D)
  4. Do extra things that you couldn’t normally do. (ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE ALONE), sleep in a bit longer so you can have a more productive day since you have no commute. Drink coffee on the balcony because you have time. Go out on a walk/jog in the morning. Read a book. Listen to an audiobook while doing work that doesn’t require much concentration.
  5. Set a goal to learn the thing you wanted to learn in a week. Set a goal to start at home yoga. Set a goal to be able to do 100 pushups because you have the time to practice. Whatever it is that you wanted to do before but said you couldn’t because you were so busy…. well you don’t have that excuse. And if you are a parent, incorporate kids into this goal. For example, if your goal is push-ups, make your kids work out with you in their own way. Or do the pushups while you watch a movie with the kids.

If you have a hard time focusing read this blog post by James Clear on Focus. It’s a mind-opening read.

Motivation comes from action, so don’t think you will be more effective and become a super productive person by waiting. You can either whine about this Corona thing, and how it is ruining your social life or you can take what it offers you. Time and a chance to concentrate without distractions of parties or hobbies etc. Chose 3- 5 extra things you want to spend your time on, mark them in the calendar. Stick to them. You can make these family goals if it is hard to find time all alone to do them.

Hope this quarantine time isn’t driving you crazy, and since most people while that they have nothing to do; here are some links to different resources that will give you something to do Let’s make quarantine our bitch πŸ˜‰ :

Skillshare No I am not sponsored, I do however get a free month if you end up purchasing the recourse. (This is their way of spreading their platform ;))

Scribd – Also not sponserd, by I find most of the books I search for from here and it only costs 9 bucks per month for unlimited audiobooks, books and journals as well as some extra perks that you get to use for free for as long as you are paying for scribd.

Youtube- You can find great recourses here, not just Pink Panther, but things you learn from… shocking I know.

People, use this time to learn from your parents, watch interviews, read books and so much more. You have an hour or two of extra time. You can fit so much into those that you can’t even imagine! Good luck and stay healthy πŸ˜‰

I am not asking you to be delusional in these scary times, but please keep the positivity and hope in your hearts. Let’s show corona who the boss is<3

– Alisa

Why finding your purpose kinda doesn’t matter?

It is 2020 and you have all this energy to learn what you want to do for the rest of your life? WHY? Well everyone talks about purpose and their life missions and blah blah.

I bet that most of the people who have figured out their life purpose have changed it a bunch of times, or figured it out only after 40 or maybe even only realized what their purpose was when they were retired and had time to reflect on their past. I also bet that the people who have known what they want to be at the age of 5 are rare as fuck. (Let’s be honest we can’t all be doctors, pirates, princesses or astronauts…. real life sucks, to be honest)

So why finding your purpose isn’t that important?

  1. When you spend your time trying to find something certain you usually ignore everything else. You get tunnel vision. Like if you search of a fallen earing you probably don’t see all the dirt on the floor, not cos it doesn’t exist. But because you just concentrate on the earing. If you can’t see anything else except what you assume is your purpose (whether it is because people said you are good at it or because your parents want you to be a doctor) you probably won’t see the other options.
  2. If you only want to figure out the end goal you don’t enjoy the process of getting there. I did my internship as an office assistant… is it my dream job? No… is it my purpose for life? Probably not… but I’ve had some of the greatest experiences in that job. And I learned a lot about myself and my interests during that time! So go out there and experience things!
  3. Life purpose for many is something that they understand only at the end of their lives (and usually there were more than just one). And honestly, I assume that most of us don’t want life to end at the age of 20 or 25 or even 70. So why worry about something that you can learn and understand only at the end of the journey? Enjoy the process… don’t stress so much.

You aren’t off the hook tho!

Now don’t get me wrong. You should still have goals and passions and pursue them. Just don’t over analyze them. Having a goal to have an experience rich year is just as good as having a goal to become a doctor or to learn to skate. Whatever you learn this year about yourself and what you like, will take you closer to figuring out what you want to do… for now. And in 5 years you could learn it has changed. That is life.

Live your life.

I hope you guys have a great 2020!

Why wait for tragedy? Change now!

We live in a society that has it all! Information at our fingertips on your phones, libraries with books from the floor to the ceiling. We have internet to contact our mentors, either through books or perhaps if you are daring enough by sending them a message on LinkedIn.

Waiting for a tragedy to wake up

For some reason we decide to change the most the next week, or the next year. And quite often when something bad happens like losing a parents or getting into an accident. The shock of the tragedy just wakes us up, and we get moving. But do we actually need to wait for the New Year? Or that car crash? Of course not. The best thing for us, is to commit to making our lives the best we can today. Just because we actually deserve to be happy.

I’ve written on this subject before. But I wanted to get more into depth on this. Instead of just telling you to try something new and to write down your goals, let’s get really really deep on this! Brain and psychology deep? Sound interesting? Let’s go!

The science and Moran Cerf

Moran Cerf is a bank robber/hacker (it was an actually paid job, not criminal behavior I promise) turned neuroscientist. He has done major research on how the brain works and how to change behavior. He is also well into the research of dreams and so much more. I have seen his amazing interview on Tom Bilyeu’s show as well as his speech on training the brain. Both of those were extremely informative. If you want more data, see his own speech and if you need more info on how to make changes yourself, watch the interview with Tom.

Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash

Here are some facts. The easiest most active way we can change our habits, are by activating your brain during the sleep, long sleep to be more specific. What this looks like, that right at the right moment, you will either use smells, words or the like, to make the brain file away information in a certain way. For example, if you want to stop smoking; someone would sprits nicotine into your brain, and right after that something that smells horrid. Your brain will make a connection right away, that smoking is bad, after a while of doing this, the result stays. You can affect your brain in other ways too, nutrition, medications, exercise and so much more.

My idea

There are other studies that show that you are more likely to remember things with high emotions attached to them. Anger, sadness happiness etc. this brings me to a theory, that I haven’t checked and I am not sure if anyone else has, but we will see if it works for us! So as I want myself to learn more and study more on various different subjects, I will use studying as an example, but you can chose what ever you want to change in your life. I am using positive things to change my attitude to studying but if you want to stop doing something you can use a negative enforcer. Ok? Let’s go!

Right before you start studying for something (or doing sports etc) watch something that will lift your spirits, a good comedian, a strip of Tom and Jerry cartoon if you a re a kid at heart like me, anything along those lines. Right after that start studying. Try to think of funny ways of remembering the things your are studying. (e.g Never Eat Soggy Waffles = North, East, South, West) Once you are about to go to sleep, try to read through these fun notes you have made yourself (or listen to them if you made them in an audio version) Once you have done all of this try tho get yourself into a very happy mood. I suggest not really watching or reading anything new, but just elevate your emotions. Then go to sleep.

Now I have again now studies on how this will work. But based on the studies done on how memories are formed and how mood affects those memories, I think it is safe to assume your are more likely to remember those things. Like I said I want to get a positive connotation to studying in my brain that why I use humor and joy to remember those things, if you want to stop eating certain foods, I guess banging your leg against the corner of a table could work… or going to eat that food next to the trash… I mean depending on how desperate you are to change a habit, you will do a lot for it right?

My idea is this, that while you get yourself into a better mood while you study (or do other things you normally wouldn’t want to do) you are able to remember things better but ALSO able to trick your brain into actually liking the process of studying or doing sports etc. Two flies with one hit.

Your turn!

What I would love for all of you lovely readers to do is, test this theory (actually properly not just once half assed) and tell me how it went. What worked what didn’t and why do you think it didn’t? I will be doing this myself as well!

Can’t wait to hear from you guys, as always thanks for reading and I appreciate any feedback I get! I am going to link more resources below so you can learn about changing yourself, without having to wait for a tragedy to strike! Happy learning! Happy autumn everyone!

Resources for further learning:

Psychology of invention, How hobbies can boost productivity and creativity, Neuroscience; rewiring the brain

(Would you like me to react on these articles? Maybe give my own advice that is more catered into our “normal” lives? If so, leave a comment down below )

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone…comfortably

5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone…comfortably. So that you reach your potential! Yes I did say comfortably.

What did I just promise you? Something that you probably never thought to be possible. It is very much possible and I will show you how. Soon. First let me just point out that there is a time and a place for you to also force yourself out of the comfort-zone forcefully. But it isn’t always the best case. In case you have missed my posts on comfort-zone don’t check it after reading this one! Bye Bye Bye comfort-zone and Comfort-zone is necessary

Back to the topic at hand: Why should you sometimes do it in a comfortable way? Sometimes we have so much resistance to change, aka leaving the comfort-zone that we simply won’t move if the step isn’t small enough. So that is why I suggest these 5 comfortable steps.

One – Switch up something in your routine! (Success Magazine)

Do something small. Do you always wake up at 6? Wake up at 5.50. Ten minutes can give you just enough extra time to not rush. If you already wake up supper early, maybe make a different breakfast, or you go to the store by walking. Or perhaps instead of typing a message to your friend you call them up. Even a small change can be good for you. Try it. If what I Tell me in the comments what you will try or have tried πŸ™‚

Two – Accept help or ask for it

Accept help from others while you try to work towards a goal. For example, if you want to run a marathon. Try and get a friend to join you with the training and the marathon itself. Having a friend on the journey with you helps you to have more fun and for the goal not to seem so crazy/fear inducing.

Small changes now, will make your life look totally different in the future.

Three – Keep your feet on the ground… for now!

Make realistic goals for leaving your comfort zone. If you have never done any type of sport. You probably shouldn’t start with an extreme sport. Start with a group lesson or maybe just taking a walk. All exercise is good exercise.

Four– Ones step at a time

Work on only one area at once. So if you want to be out of comfort zone with routines. Concentrate on that first. Then it can be fitness. This doesn’t mean you are stuck till the end of time on one area. Maybe after 2 weeks of making slight changes to your routines, you can work on fitness, then maybe reading a book genre that you usually wouldn’t read. Then maybe upping the goal from routines changed for 2 week, make it 30 days. And so on.

Before checking my last tip. Do you have any great tips to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential? Share them for others to see!

Five – Girls (and boys) just want to have fun!

Have fun with this. Comfort zone is a very very very boring place to live in on long term. When you hear monitor plateaus you are declared dead. Why doesn’t this apply to real life? This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It is actually the opposite. You should have fun, because it will make you less resistant to getting out of your comfort-zone.

Here are my 5 ways to get out of your comfort-zone to reach your potential

What are your tips for this topic? Please let me know if you want me to write about the opposite side; how to make radical leaps out of comfort-zone?! I actually really like the idea! Anyway until the next post!

Keep working on being the best you!

-Alisa

Kim Kardashian won’t make you successful

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours. Here is why I felt I needed to point this out:

I just checked the Google trends and I picked 5 search terms that I compared to each other. Entrepreneurship, studying, self-help books, personal development and Kim Kardashian. Which one was most searched by far? Our beloved Kim K. I actually have nothing against Kim K and her gang. To be honest they are resourceful as fuck and considering where it all started at they smart AF. They might not seems so, but they have so much money and they have been able to follow and build trends like no else. I can’t help but feel a bit jelly. So if you search them to learn how to build an empire go ahead! However there is a reason why I am worried.

I will insert the picture of the stats here:

So what makes this worrisome? The fact that I am willing to bet quite a bit of money that most of these people search for Kim K. for one of these reasons; body goals, make up, fashion, comparison, juicy scandals.

Now if this is just once a year to see how their business is doing or what they do to keep their bodies like they are (apart for operations, let’s be honest here….) then fine. However a lot of people look up to them and not all of these people see the big picture. And I feel like we could spend our time way better.

Kim K is just one example. We could change the name to any other celebrity. So instead of spending time on studying, self-help or figuring out how to be entrepreneurial or building a career, we check out what the person who is tooootally on their own journey is doing? Here is a post of mine that explains why attention seeking is so toxic; check it out!: Attention the second most lethal drug in the world

β€œWe must take time to define our own path. Too quickly we can find the world defining it for us.”

Anonymous

I know everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. I believe we can learn a lot from others. For example it motivates me to compare myself to someone who’s past is way darker and harder, seeing them succeed makes me see how stupidly many excuses I have. My example is: Lisa Nichols . It makes me realize that chances are I will have it easier to succeed. This doesn’t come from an ego place. This comes from the realization that I have better circumstances that those who I look up to. Poverty isn’t an issue for me. We are an average family. Not rich per say, but definitely privileged. But even with me looking up to these people I want to build my own journey. Meaning I will research everything for myself. Sure I can read their bio or watch an interview. But I am not blinded and so concentrate on their story that I forget to live my own story.

Kim K is a beautiful woman and so is her gang. But we will never be her. Like I said before: Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours . We will never look like her. Nor will our success be the same as hers. And we don’t have to be the same. We don’t need to see her day to day life. She can still be a role model (Thought I would argue there are better ones out there).

Kim Kardashians success doesn't equal yours. Work on your own success. What ever it is. Even if it would be beauty line and fashion. You can do it your own!
Search for your own success! Not Kim. K; We have so much other potential!

I would love for young people to research all of the possibilities they have now. It doesn’t matter what the dream is. Own beauty line? Go ahead! Becoming a doctor? Yes! Being an influencer? Go ahead! But don’t think that all of this is going to be easy. Nothing in life is actually easy. We think if we would be millionaires all would be simple? All the screaming fans and haters and crazy people after us? Getting all we want at the snap of our fingers but always having to wonder if we actually deserve what we get or do we get it due to our name? It isn’t a coincidence that a lot of big, rich, famous stars lose it. Get on drugs or/and kill themselves.

Even the same path walked by two different people will sound totally different in their recollections. Even if they walk it a the same time.

– Me

Search for your own journey! Money is great, being famous enough to make sure you can help people in a bigger way etc is a great goal. There is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t romanticize anything. Being rich and famous because you acted dumb, isn’t a great place to be. Here is a bit more about the topic of successful people: Stars sentenced to death. Building a career and an empire on being a good person, now that is a GOAL.

My point writing this is that I want youngsters (I am 23 myself so I count myself into it) to concentrate on their own journeys. On writing their own stories. Reading about a scandal and laughing/crying at how the world is fucked up right now it fine. Once in a while. But being obsessed with peoples lives won’t help us live our own.

So to anyone who is searching for some life advice here is mine ;

Live YOUR life to the fullest and make it so great that when you are on your death bed, you won’t be afraid to die, because you know you actually lived!

– Me

Kim Kardashians success doesn’t equal yours!

As always don’t forget to comment and like! It helps me with the content creations (like motivates me to write cos I know there are readers πŸ˜‰ ) Also don’t forget my socials: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinteres

-Alisa

Life ends, did you exist in it or did you live it?

Just last week I wrote a blog about catching up with your goals. I know that this seems like something that is rather redundant. Yes yes, we should have goals and aspirations so what?

Simple, it has been proven that we are happier when we strive for something greater, better. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to strive to be a millionaire. I mean I wouldn’t say no to a couple of million. But I don’t think it would make me happy, if after that I wouldn’t have more substance to my life.

So this is why I ask a very somber question from you my darling reader. What have you done, before you die. 80 years will go past fast as fuck. There is no point to think of what if’s when you are on your bed. So why not think of what if’s now.

What if you won’t do anything now? What if the goal you have is almost reached but you give up right before it? What if you have so much potential in you but you deside not to do anything because you are too afraid? I am not saying you shouldn’t sleep, eat or rest once in a while. Going after your goals doesn’t mean hustle till you die. It means make sure your life is off substance, so that once you die, you won’t have to think of what if’s. You won’t fear death as much if you realize that it is actually your time and you did everything you could have to live a fulfilling life.

So, after reading this post, journal a bit. What if you would die today. What would you be proud of? What would you have to achieve in your life to be on your death bed and; “Greet death like an old friend”?

As always, thank you for reading. Don’t hesitate to start a conversation in the comments and don’t forget to check my socials πŸ˜‰

Xoxo, Alisa

4 things to do, to make your next 6 months a success!

So, there is only half a year of 2019 left. Have you done half of the things on your goals/to-do this year list? Chances are you haven’t and there are a lot of changes I haven’t made either. Even thought I was way more committed to change this year, that the years before.

One big goal that I have been able to work more on than previous years has been this blog. But even with the blog, I haven’t gotten as much forward as what I had hoped for. So now, I must plan things a bit better for the next half a year. Including all of the other goals/to-do’s I have.

How do we achieve these goals, even if we are late? How do we make sure that the mistakes we have made in the past 6 months (or more) don’t get repeated? Where to even begin? Especially if we have accumulated even more onto the to-do list? I will go through some ways I deal with this overwhelm and hope it helps you too.

How much time do you actually have?

Analyze how much time in reality do you have free. How much time is left, if you take away the hours you sleep, the time you eat, work and take care of kids or your parents etc.

For reference we have 168 hours in a week. With 8 hours of sleep a day it will take 56 hours away/ a week. In Finland on average we work 37.5 hours in a week. I don’t have kids but I spend time with friends, let’s say i want to spend at least 12 hours in a week with them. This means I still have 62,5 hours left over.

Let’s take 8 hours a week for social media (It is way more in reality currently, but I am allowed to aspire to do better!) This leaves 54,5 hours in a week for what ever I want to do/achieve. For now I should also write a thesis. On a good week I would write 10 hours. This leaves me with 44,5 hours a week.

This means I can work towards my goals for almost 2 full days, in a week. That is a decent amount with all of the other stuff I get done in a week. How many hours would you have left for goals, without excuses?

If you have 50 different goals. You have no hope what so ever to achieve any of them. So. Chose 2. that would leave you 22hours and 15 minutes per goal/ a week. Now if you still can’t reach your goals, check the next tip.

What has been the actual reason you haven’t done what you were supposed to?

Did you have a hard time with your partner? Did you feel overwhelmed? Did you bite a huge as piece at a time and now you can’t chew? What ever it is meditate/journal with this question in mind. Because we figured out before that you indeed have hours in the week. If you just make sure you use them smartly. So what is the real reason you achieve nothing or not as much as what you want?

Have one day a week (or even daily) routine to bullshit check.

How much did you actually spend on your phone. Did you agree to see all your friends this week for full days? Did you decide you were too lazy to wake up after the 8 hours of sleep? What could you have done differently to achieve the way of life you want to?

Whether you like it or not. You don’t have to relax by watching TV. A good book will do the same and you will even learn new things. 15 minutes worked towards your goal is better than none. Have this time for your to write down, all of the bs you have told yourself during this day/ week and do your best not to repeat this next week.

Lists, lists, lists baby!

Make lists of all of your goals and to-do’s. What are the ones you have to do? A thesis so you get to graduate? A work project so you get money money money? What are the goals you want to achieve that are not obligatory? If they don’t spark anything you you. If they feel like they were put on the list because it seems cool. Cross them out. Leave only the ones that make sense.

Now don’t be lazy. All of us want to rest a bit more in bed. All of us want to hang out more with our friends. But if we ask ourselves if we want to make our lives even better. Most of us say yes. (And the rest a 99% of the time in denial) Working towards the unknown doesn’t feel fun. But after you make the list and only put those goals onto it that feel yours. You should be good to go for the next 6 months.


I believe in everyone of you. I know that reaching goals is hard. I know that most of us have complicated lives. But we don’t have to add to the by being lazy/ coming up with excuses. Work your ass off and be happy in the moment be even happier in the next one when you get close to your goals!

Thanks for reading! Let me know what sparks inspiration in you? What would you be right now if your excuses wouldn’t be in the way! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on the socials! Until next time!

Xoxo, Alisa

Positivity doesn’t equal being delusional

#Bodypositivity #deathpositive #drugpositve #serialkillerpositve. FIRST THINGS FIRST

I AM part of the positivity movement. I AM a positive person. I AM a fucking spiritual person who believes in Law of Attraction (we can debate that another time) but I AM NOT delusional. And you shouldn’t be either.

Being positive about something doesn’t mean you should close your eyes from facts. If I get run over by a car, no amount of Law of Attraction will stop me from dying if my injuries are fatal.

No amount of body positivity will take away your risks of heart failure or joint failure if you are obese. NOW before you start attacking me ever so “politely” in the comments saying I shame people. Absolutely I do not. If you are happy in your body and you accept the health risks, or you aren’t happy and you work hard to make sure you turn your life around. I will treat you the same. But please for the love of God do not tell people bullshit stories about how no matter what you can be healthy and that no matter what positivity is 100% the answer.

If drug positivity or alcohol positivity, serial killer positivity etc etc etc would be movements we wouldn’t stand by them. The word positivity isn’t going to change the result of something.

Where does positivity 100% make a great impact?

When you have a positive mindset about being able to change your life for the better. When you talk positively about people to people, and don’t concentrate on other peoples shortcomings, what ever those are. Taking the time to see the good in the world. The beautiful fucking butterfly, the cute ass dog/cat. Meditating while believing that this day is going t be great and taking the time and effort to see the positive things in your day. This will make life amazing. It will give you power, instead of taking away the power. It will make sure that you can be proactive instead of reactive.

Positivity shouldn’t be a cover up. You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you are depressed. But you don’t have to start a “depression positive” movement, to counter act that having a depression is a serious issue. If you are depressed you should seek help, it can be a friend, family member or someone with a medical degree. The word positive doesn’t erase the original meaning of the world.

Great idea, but what about the implimentation?

Body positivity is a great movement. Shaming anyone for having a different body that someone else, is a despicable thing to do. A) When you shame someone you hurt them and they retreat into their shell and can end up being even more unhealthy. B) Shaming and scaring people isn’t going to make them change, that is why horrible pictures on cigarette packets don’t make people want to quit smoking.

So should we incorporate more positivity into the world of fitness? Yes. You don’t have to be size 0 to be healthy. You don’t have to have six pack abs. You don’t have to have the same goal as me or a body builder. But you should do everything in power of being “health positive”. Health doesn’t look the same for everyone. But there are limits to what healthy is, and we should be aware of that. No matter how much it sucks that burgers aren’t healthy, that sugar doesn’t have any nutritional value or that if you don’t move you are in a way bigger risk for different health issues.

Ending on a positive note πŸ˜‰

I love all people. No matter shape, size, color, religion, sexual orientation, gender and all of the other ways people can be shamed. I also happen to love the power we have as people to make changes in our lives. It requires effort, and it take time to change your life. But no matter what you can do it. You just have to see a reason for it. And living a fulfilling, long life with meaning and great experiences, seems like a good fucking reason to do it… wouldn’t you say?

Leave a comment bellow with your opinions on it. Let’s have this conversation. Let’s be positive yet realistic about it! Don’t hesitate to also follow me on my social media and join the community <3

Counter-intuitive ways of forming/changing Habits

So everyone all the time talk about habits and forming or changing them and let me just tell you I am such a addict when it comes to reading about people and their habits and routines and so on. There is nothing more satisfying as seeing someone have their lives together… well maybe having your own life together would be more satisfying…. hmmmmm…. Anywhoo, I have listed 5 counter-intuitive ways of forming and or changing habits down below, so let’s start!

  1. Don’t plan as much. Yes I have mentioned this before. This is something that quite many high performing business people talk about. There is a gap often between planning and taking action. It is called analysis paralysis. We just plan the day by the minute, then realize we have way too much planned or we spent the whole time planning and now its already 12 am and we should have been asleep hours ago. This also works when planning on habits you want to incorporate into your life and how. Yes plan your habits and see where they fit, but don’t over do it. Habit is something you do, not something you plan… just saying.
  2. The easier something is to do, the more likely you are to do it….But I disagree on the effectiveness in some cases (or maybe it is just me). This is something also suggested in detail in Atomic Habits by James Clear. I just started this book but its amazing and I’m like half way through. And while in general I agree on this advice, I have noticed certain instances that the opposite works. For example, when I planned on using my nearest gym…. that is literally like a 200m walk from my house (About 656ft) I wouldn’t go there…like ever. I had this mentality of since its so close I can go when ever so now I don’t have to. And honestly this changed when I started to go to the gym further away. It became more of an actual routine because I had to make an effort and make sure I took into consideration the walking time there and back. Since I don’t know if there are any studies done on this topic, I can’t say if this is an normal phenomenon or if I am just peculiar… I am probably just peculiar, but leave a comment down bellow if this sounds familiar
  3. Don’t think about the end goal. This is also something that is discussed in the book Atomic Habits. I find this very fascinating but I do understand the logic. If you want habits that stick, you shouldn’t think about the end goal. It shouldn’t be that I want to weight X amount of kg or pounds. Because what happens to the habits you have built when you reach that “magical” number. Big chance is you lose those habits. However if you focus on becoming a healthy person. You will continue doing certain habits just because a healthy person does them. This means that instead of concentrating on goals you should concentrate on your identity and instead of just thinking about your habits think of systems you can set in place to make sure those habits work. James Clear explains this better than I ever could, so read the book. However, I will try to give an example. I want to wake up at 5 am. This is a habit I want to have. A system for it, would be having two alarms both at the other side of the room that I have to go and turn off. But this is not enough. Now that I have turned them of, while I am already standing I have to go to the bathroom do my business there and wash my face, so I wake up. After this I go back to my room. Open my blinds, make bed and this is important; I meditate on the floor/chair NOT on the bed. Because otherwise I fall asleep again. This is a system that ensures I wake up and get up at 5 am.
  4. Don’t beat yourself over if you are failing in doing something you told yourself to-do. Studies have found that people are more likely to make positive change when they get positive information about that change. And if they have a possibility of being better than someone else. So for example; if you have a calendar and you mark with an x all the days you haven’t smoked, you are more likely to keep up with that since you have a streak (side note, this is why Snapchat worked so well ;D) If you have an app that tells you that people A and B are doing 50% better than you on said habit, you will be more likely to improve your score so that you get as good of a grade or better as them. This also means that instead of telling yourself that you are an idiot. Just notice that you are breaking your streak. Or others can do better than you. This will make it easier for you to get back on track with your habits. Here is a link to the ted talk on this subject TED talk and again Atomic Habits talks about this as well.
  5. Last but not least. If you want to stop doing something. Don’t stop it cold turkey. Or if you do stop something right in that second, substitute it with another habit. For example if you have a habit of biting or fiddling with your nails. In order to stop if, get a stress toy. This way you can still do something with your hands (and studies show it isn’t actually as bad as we were lead to believe…just for the love of God, don’t let it be a clicker pen or I might just have to attack you….) This will make sure you will stop ruining your nails and it won’t rely on you to be disciplined. It is hard to be disciplined with habits that are unconscious, nail biting often is.

So here are the 5 ways to form and/ or change habits that are counter intuitive. I hope you liked the post and please comment bellow the one that seemed to make most/least sense to you.If you have questions or post ideas don’t hesitate to ask!

Also here is a link to a poll on twitter that I formed that decides the post I will be writing for Thursday, make sure to cast your vote! Twitter Poll

Don’t forget to follow on the socials and let’s form a community of Change!

Xoxo, Alisa

Define your success to guarantee it is YOUR success

I have posted a post a week no since last Sunday and today’s post will be the last one of the week. I will go back to posting couple of times a week again. This was a nice challenge that I made for myself and you should definitely try it to see how it will force you to create content…no matter what. But let us get to the topic of today. What does success to you mean? And how does defining it guarantee success.

So success to everyone looks different. For me personally success is about being fulfilled. I am fulfilled when I have variety in my life. I am fulfilled when I get to help people. Currently it is through this blog, but later on it will be through my Life Coaching.

This is not how your life will have to look. I mean fulfillment looks different for everyone. For you it could be becoming a mother. Or becoming a fitness coach or doing research. What ever it is, it is a great choice. (As long it isn’t becoming a murderer… that is not a good life path….sorry) So think what is it that brings you fulfillment.

What if I don’t know what I want to do in that much details?

This is very normal. I didn’t before either and the great thing about making life plans is that they can change. But I realized what I wanted to do was from seeing some of the things I liked/loved: I loved giving advice to people, I loved writing, I loved having an impact, I am creative, I enjoy psychology. Those things together for me = Life Coach. (Or at the moment a Personal Development blogger)

So that everyone is clear; your fulfillment doesn’t have to come from your job. It could be helping out your community, it could be helping kids learn to code during your free time. It can 100% be a hobby or “just” a side hustle.

Why is it important to define this?

Sometimes other peoples passion for things makes you think you want the same thing. Like oh they are a travel influencer? I want that too, I want to visit all those places. This doesn’t equal that you want to do that as a job. A travel influencer has to do a shit ton of photography, videos and editing + blogs. On top of that probably sponsorship’s they have to take care of so they can actually make those trips, and so so so much more. Are you ready for that? Maybe. If you are, then that is your path. However if not, then you should ask what you actually want to do. Not what someone makes look great.

Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic, asks a great question. What is your favorite flavor of Shit sandwich. The idea is, that everything you do is going to have something that you will hate, and you just have to figure out if it is worth it. Let’s stick with the travel influencer topic. The shit sandwich could be getting sick because of the different bacteria somewhere, or flying a lot, or having to organize a lot of trips all the time, or not being at home much etc. IF those flavors of shit sandwiches sound like a decent trade off, you are probably prepared to become a travel influencer. (Send me pics please, I love seeing those scenes and to get insporation of just visiting there and resting and NOT having to work πŸ˜‰ )

So what is that thing that would bring you fulfillment= make you successful? Leave it in the comments below! And don’t forget to connect with me and the community on the socials <3

xoxo, Alisa