In 2019 I was lost. My life seemed like an open-ended question on a test that I never even read for. It was like someone asking me to write a well-researched essay on rocket science.
I knew somethings. I wanted to enjoy my life on the day to day basis. I didn’t want to become a “boring adult”. I wanted to be responsible but have passion in my life. I was kinda blinded by the “dream life” marketing that social media has.
In may 2019 my life changed so much. I didn’t really realize it would change that much until later. But WOW. In may I got a mentor. My mentor listened to me without judgment.
My parents are amazing and I will be forever thankful for all that they have done for me. However, when it came to trying to figure out my life, I felt like having a mentor saved me. She didn’t try to tell me what to do. She didn’t try to tell me to take the safe route. She asked me questions that made me think for myself. She didn’t know me personally and wasn’t as invested in my life. So the fear that my parents had for me wasn’t there to blind her. (This is not to say she didn’t care, it just is different than with a parent )
During the mentorship, I started going to networking events. I started meeting people from all works of life. Men, women, younger, older. People working different jobs and it opened my eyes so so so much. I think the biggest gift from talking with my mentor and the people I met through networking, was that I finally didn’t feel stupid. I actually started getting a voice. I was no longer the stupid little girl. And this was more empowering than I can ever explain.
School and parents often want to just teach teach teach and the assumption is that you don’t know anything. And that you shut up and listen. ( I am over exaggerating I get it, it isn’t always that bad, often it’s your insecurities that are way worse than whatever someone else says 😉 ) When you meet people who listen to what you have to say and give you a voice it’s amazing. And this wasn’t about everyone always agreeing. It was also about learning new perspectives and forming a more balanced and educated voice for yourself.
I tend to learn way more from the people around me. And while I have been in the personal development world for years now. This year has been the best one yet in regards to learning and development. And I read the least amount of books and I didn’t try to force habits that didn’t work for me.
In 2019 I cried a lot. I would go on walks and cry. I would wake up and feel anxious and cry (I scared my boyfriend more than once because I would just randomly cry) I was finishing up my degree and I would cry because writing my thesis felt like torture. I was so sure that I would fail and not even graduate. I would avoid my responsibilities because I was overwhelmed.
That is the thing. And young people we have so much to worry about. Study well, graduate, have a job, balance friends and family and a relationship. Be smart but enjoy life. Find your own path but listen to all the 50 billion advice thrown your way. It gets HARD. And I get it. But you know what? You will get through it. You will cry. And that is ok.
You need people who care for you and most of the time I am sure your parents do too. (Sometimes they aren’t wrong tho, just keep that in mind 😉 ) But they are afraid for you and they are just people like everyone else. So, seek a mentor. If you can’t get one that you can talk to, read books or blogs like mine. Seek friends who are just a bit further in their lives than you. Do small steps. There is an overwhelming amount of information. It is ok not to read all of it. I would rather you read one book this year, from which you REALLY pick all the information and apply it to your life. Than you reading 50 books and not really doing anything with the information.
There are a lot of things I still have to work on. But a lot of things have changed. And while this year 2020 has been hard because of the whole corona thing. I am way happier and way more prepared for this crisis than I would have been in 2019. I am overall way mentally healthier and aware of things than I was last year. I am still lost. But my life is no longer an open-ended question without me reading for a test. My life is more like an essay that I have resources for and a lot of time to write it. And the best part is, I am excited to write it!
I really want to help you guys find your way. I know it is hard. It feels like you are constantly hitting a wall. And there is so many paths you can take. It requires a lot of introspection and time.
You won’t get all the answers at once. I don’t have all the answers. But talking to someone has helped immensely and learning about other people’s paths and struggles has helped me understand that there is no such thing as an easy and perfect life. The dream life we are marketed constantly is just not real. That doesn’t mean we can’t have a dream life. I just want to remind you guys that nightmares are dreams too and they are part of our lives. It is ok to live a great life and still have lows. I am currently the most satisfied in who I am as a person but I am feeling very lonely because of the whole corona thing. You win some and you lose some and that is ok.
Don’t try to seek perfection because you will always fall short, because there is no such thing as perfect. Be a realist with big dreams. Very big dreams are possible to reach. I have big dreams. I want to help thousands of you one day. (My blog has like about 300 subs currently :D) I want this to be a business one day. I want to make this my main job one day. BUT I realize it will take time and effort. I will have to sacrifice some things and it won’t always be easy. It is possible. So that is my way of being a realist with big dreams.
Comment bellow how your life has changed. What are your realistic but big goals? What are the questions you have no answers to? Are you lost?
Let’s connect on my socials as well:
You can find me almost everywhere @alisa_miettinen
Have a great time learning about yourself. Journaling prompts are a great way. I have some listed in the blog and there are plenty online too 🙂