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Month: May 2019

5 simple habits for guaranteed success

Let’s get some things very clear. You have to work your ass off for success. It is NOT an easy journey, so if you are searching for hacks to make you successful right now… you are in the wrong place my friend. However if you want to improve you journey and you want to start hustling, let’s get to the juicy part!

Number 1:

Sleep. Doctors, most of the high performing and successful people talk about the importance of sleep. About 7-8 hours is what I usually hear that is recommended. At some point during a holiday for example, you could try and test what this time is for you. Say you always go to sleep at 22. What time do you wake up naturally, without an alarm. At first you will probably sleep in quite late ( depends on how much you have to catch up on) But at some point you will notice a pattern in when you wake up. That way you know about how many hours you sleep. ( It isn’t plausible for everyone to wake up without an alarm, especially if you work, that is why it is so important to do this experiment while you are on a vacation :D)

Number 2

Don’t let things slide man. I know how easy it is. I instead of saying this for 30 min like I said I would 25, is good enough. Instead of doing 3 sets like I said I would 2 is good enough. Sometimes you honestly do have to listen to your body. And do what it tells you to. BUT not as a routine. You have to follow through your promises to yourself. First of all it will make you feel good about who you are. If you say you will do something you freaking do it! And then the second part is that the more you take short cuts the easier it is to always take short cuts. It will also should in your results. So quit failing yourself. Read the damn 30 minutes.

Number 3

Keep everything at the place that is made for it. If it doesn’t have a place and there is no space for it… why do you have it? Do you ACTUALLY need it? Look the more stuff you have the more organization you have to do. The more organization you have to do, the more chances there is that you won’t do it and your whole office (and life) is a huuuuge as mess… well that is the way of life. Own less, you lose less.

Number 4

Have a weekly check up with yo self. Look sister or mister, I know, you planned the week out REALLY well. It was like 10/10 on the organization- o -meter…. buuut how well did you actually execute on this list? Did you time table hold up? Did your mental health hold up? Did you have time to pet your dog? You didn’t?! How dare you be so cruel to your dog!?! In all seriousness thought. Making plans is just the 20% of the work. Doing them is about 20% and then 60% is figuring out if you actually did well with your plans, so you can make better plans in the future.

Number 5

Take care of your own damn self. I have said it before and I will say it again. You will never be useful if you are dead. I mean ofc you can haunt the bad guys, but lets first change the world for the better and then haunt the rest of the assholes OK? So make taking care of yourself a habit. Skin care, meal prep, fitness, reading spirituality (even if you don’t identify as religious/spiritual you can take care of yourself spiritually, it could be meditating, going out into the nature, what ever makes you feel at peace with yourself you can just call it mental health care, I don’t give a rats ass, just take care of your self OK?!)

SO here is today’s post. I am sure the tone of voice is a bit different. I let a bit more of Alisa out to play (aka my crazy ass personality) so hope you enjoyed. Once in a while she will come out and do her thing. I also love being more professional and more researched so don’t worry, this ain’t the only way I act!

Thank you all for reading and don’t forget to comment and leave a like! I appreciate you all and hope you have a great weekend!

Xoxo, Alisa

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THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD

Welcome back to all of you who have been following me for a while. I am quite excited for this post! I can’t quite believe that I have been nominated for this award. Thank you for the nomination (more about it bellow) But most importantly thank you for those who read, like and comment on my posts! It makes me happy and shows me that what I am doing has an impact. Here is a link to my past post if you missed it: Latest post!

And let’s get cracking!

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The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Hilary Tan, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This means a lot for me! And it makes me happy that I bring joy and sunshine to my readers!

Hilary has the most amazing blog, that mixes art, real life and a rawness that seriously touches the reader: Sereluna-Finding my Inner Goddess. I honestly must say that you are well on your way to finding your inner Goddess and it is great to see you helping others do the same! I only found you recently but will 100% and avid reader from now on!

SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD RULES

Here are couple of simple rules to keep in mind when you are nominating and when you nominate:

RULES FOR AWARD:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Q’s and A’s:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?

I have enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember. I haven’t always been good at it but a while back I decided that I might as well do it anyway, since it makes me happy. Plus I get to improve everyday. I have been writing about self-help and health most of my blogging time, but especially now I have concentrated on the personal development aspect.


2. What year did you publish your first blog post?

I honestly don’t know. My current blog is not my first blog. But with the one I own now, I started it at the end of 2016.


3. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written and why?

My favorite post is “Stars Sentenced to Death“. This is a harsher, more negative post of mine and I wrote it right after Avicii died. I read about his death and about the comments on how it was to be expected because of the “music scene” and how it is so often that these people feel the need to turn to drugs/alcohol/self-harm. I found this very frustrating and point the finger to us, the people who love and hate these stars blindly leading to their lives derailing. Not saying we are the only ones at fault. But honestly we don’t let them have a normal life due to all of the fan giriling or hating on them for every move they make..


4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?

I have a dog, a middle sized Schnauzer! His name is Patu and he is 100% the boss of our household. Good lord who new these creatures to be so pigheaded?!


5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?

It honestly depends. Sometimes I will meditate and brainstorm ideas that come to me during the mediation. But quite often an event, an Instagram post or a book/podcast, will spark inspiration in me. I kind of would love to have a routine/ ritual for posting blogs to make it more organized. But then again sometimes it is great to just get inspired and let it flow πŸ˜€


6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?

I love love love helping people. There is nothing better for me than to help people get their AHA moments in life. Like the “Fucking hell I actually am the one in charge of my life” moment is just like a drug. Honestly it hasn’t been a 100% easy road for me to get here so getting to that mindset isn’t easy, however helping others get there, I get shivers just talking about it!

The world is such a messed up and confused place right now. There is so much more hate than love and I honestly want to be a part of changing that. I believe that currently too many hurt people are in charge of the world. We can’t change the world if we don’t heal ourselves first (in what ever capacity it is for you) and this is why I write my blog. So people will find the power in themselves to change and rebuild themselves and after that attacking the issues of our planet with new vigor and passion.


7. What is your favorite social media platform and why?

I honestly don’t know. I think Twitter is cool because you are forced to think of what you say and how you say it, because you only have so many letters that you can use. Instagram on the other hand is so pretty! And it gives me inspiration to work on my photography to make it more artistic and to unite it with the text I write there (To anyone visiting my Instagram after this post; not all of the pics are mine :D)


8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?

Coffee addict in the house! Can I get an AMEN from all of the sisters and brothers that are walking on the same journey of telling about the love of COFFEE to whom ever will listen?!

Honestly I love tea as well, but coffee makes me feel powerful and productive ( When honestly it doesn’t, it just makes my soul sing.)


9. What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?

That it isn’t easy. That it requires work and it requires more from you than you were ever prepared to give. It makes your raw, angry vulnerable and all of those “negative” things. BUT once you get into it. Once you decide that it means a lot to you… it is the most rewarding thing you could imagine. (Especially when a blog post does well and make you feel like you did something good in the world. Even if it was just a small thing)


10. Are you satisfied with your blog’s progress so far?

Especially as someone who writes about personal development I don’t really know if that is even possible. It feels like I should be better since I write about being better. You just have to take as step back and realize you are just as much on the journey of growth as anyone else. Just a different path. So if I think realistically. Yes.


11. What do you fear the most?

Living a life that is unfulfilling and insignificant.


SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD NOMINEES

QUESTIONS FOR THE NOMINEES:

1. What is your favorite word? (Any language, if foreign please translate xD)
2. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
3. What is your favorite blog post you have read?
4. Are you a dog or a cat person (or perhaps a reptile person)?
5. What is the best advice you have ever gotten?
6. If your excuses wouldn’t hold you back, what would you do?
7. What is your favorite color?
8. What kind of a nature scene makes you the most at peace? (E.g. forest, ocean, mountains etc.) 9. What is your superpower (nothing isn’t an acceptable answer, nor I don’t know) ?
10. Where do you desperately want to travel and why?
11. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Well there was my blabbering, now it is your turn. If you visit the blog post mentioned (or another of them please leave a comment and tell me you visited from this post. Now feel free to write your own thank you, Q and A + nomination post. Hope you have fun searching your depths!

My nominees:

https://joypassiondesire.com/

https://mywellbeingandlearningjourney.wordpress.com/

https://simpleula.com/

https://humanityliveson.home.blog/

https://coffeennotes.wordpress.com/

https://dailygrindofastayathomemom.wordpress.com/

https://motivationvi.wordpress.com/

https://auroralibrialis.wordpress.com/

https://ptsdawayout.com/

https://barryjoyful.wordpress.com/

https://mademoiselleolantern.com

I would love for people to answer these questions in my comments (or the ones I answered to) even if they haven’t been nominated. Let’s keep the conversations open!

P.S If have done any mistakes in the formatting/with pictures etc. let me know and I shall correct it!

Xoxo, Alisa

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10 things that will make you a time management guru

So let me guess? You never have time for anything. You have a full time job, 4 kids and a high maintenance husband … or dog… I will tell you that you very much have the time. This is proven by a speaker and author Laura Vanderkam. She has interviewed many busy people. Resulting in a very simple theory that you can achieve way more than you think if you just believe in yourself, make time for priorities and plan things out. I happen to agree. Her ted talk is absolutely amazing and highly recommend it. Here is the link: Ted

What Laura points out to us that there is 168 hours a week. If you work a full time job of 40 hours a week and sleep a solid 8 hours per night (making it 56 hours a week of sleep) you still end up with 72 hours for your own things. As one of the people she interviewed said; instead of saying you don’t have time you should say that you chose not to do xyz because they aren’t your priority. Which is true. I shall soon demonstrate how.

10 ways to make time when you are 100% sure you don’t have it!

Unsubscribe from all unnecessary emails!

You don’t need to be signed up to 50 news letters you don’t need. You will save time organizing your email and you won’t feel the pull to check that one thing out just in case you are missing out. Rather save it into your bookmarks. If you actually think about that great page like you think. You will visit on your own, without an email telling you to. Saves you time because you choose when you check the page, instead of being sidetracked when answering an email.

Make priority lists:

Laura mentioned in her Ted talk that we have 3 categories we should allocate time to. Career, Relationships and Self. Make lists of 3 things into each of the categories you want to do daily or at least weekly. This could look something like this: Career; meeting with an important person, networking and doing that one course that will 10x your income. Realtionships: date night with your significant other, seeing/being in contact with your closes friends, calling your family. Self; skin care, gym, reading/online course. This doens’t mean that you don’t get to do anything else. You most certainly will have to answer emails, make calls, and so much more. BUT if the things that are on the lists make you fulfilled you should schedule them into your calendar first.

Make people priority lists.

This sounds weird and harsh but it is effective. No matter what some people are more important to you than others. Your family is probably number 1, then your significant other and then your friends. But if you have say 20 friends that you are quite often in touch with, you have to see which ones of them you need to prioritize.

How you do this is up to you. You might want to prioritize those you haven’t seen in a while or maybe those who are closer to you are the ones who get the most attention. There is no wrong answer. Just make sure that you take care of your social side in a smart way. You can book 20 meetings with friends in a week. I am sure it is easy even if you see couple of them at once. But do you want to put yourself through that?

What are your time wasters?

How do you spend the time you commute? How about the time you wait for the doctor to call you into his office? What do you do during your lunch break? Most of you will answer that you check emails or social media or something else not important. Doing some of those is fine. But instead of scrolling insta on the bus, why not read/listen to a book?

During lunch break why not talk with co-workers, you will get some socializing in and build stronger networks. If you work from home you could go for a walk for 15 minutes and then eat. So many choices, check from the self category what is on the priority list; reading? Gym? Could you make it happen instead of being is social media?

See what can you outsource or automatize.

Certain emails you can mark as junk or make them go into the right folder. Bills you can pay automatically in online banks, so you don’t have to worry about anything else except that there is money on your bank account. You can outsource some of your emails. For example if something is to do with marketing and you have a marketing team, you can make sure those emails forward automatically to your team.

Or you can ask your office assistant to bring you a latte (if it is part of her job, no need to make her run just cos you are a coffee addict.) You can ask someone else to do almost anything. Make sure that only those tasks you absolutely need to do will get done by you.

Say no.

Look its is sooooo hard. I know. We live in a world where A) we get bombarded with new things all the time and B) everything is marketed in “you don’t want to miss out on this”. The fear of missing out is real! But the actual truth is that you can’t attend all the concerts, movie premiers, trips to all over the world, still have a family, job plus a social life. So you have to say no to opportunities, to people asking for your help and to your own wants as well.

If you don’t know whether to say no or yes, check your priority list. Does it take care one of them, for example seeing friends. Cool say yes. If it doesn’t do anything for you but actually takes time off the priorities say no. It is normal to miss out on things. But missing out on a concert is way better than feeling stressed about how to fit in the important things.

Don’t overbook yourself.

This might seem counter intuitive. Why should I mark that I commute to work place in 45 minutes when I know it takes only 30. Because, sometimes the car breaks down, the traffic is weird, the bus driver doesn’t see you and doesn’t stop etc. The 15 minutes is a buffer time, that makes it possible for you to be late and still be on time. If you however are the 15 minutes earlier, you can walk to your favorite cafe and get that latte, so your assistant doesn’t have to be running around. Genius!

Own less.

Look this is one of those wtf are you talking about, but seriously just listen. If you have only 10 outfits to chose from you will be way faster than if you have 100 of them. The same thing goes if you have one pen, your favorite, you don’t have to try the 30 ones out. If you have 50 books that you have on the to read shelf, you will take your whole reading time trying to choose what you feel like. (And you will change the book choice next time.) So owning less will save you time. A while back I have talked about minimalism and how to pick and choose from trends in this post. : Picking and Choosing

Don’t bother over thinking.

Laura has a quote: “Most stuff doesn’t matter. Think about today’s date two years ago. Can you remember what you were worried about then?” Probably not and the truth is it probably wasn’t a big deal then either. But you stressed about it. You lost sleep over it. Didn’t work as well due to the lack of sleep etc. Stop stressing all the time.

Take time to do things that are “time wasters”

Now don’t you dare only read this and tell all of your friends how Alisa told you to waste your time. Nu-uh! However this is an actual tip from me. Sometimes we deserve to just watch a silly comedy on the TV with a bucket of ice cream. Or scroll on Instagrams cat video page. It is perfectly fine to take this time to switch out brains off. As long as we don’t forget to put them back on.

Key take away from the Ted Talk:

In Laura’s Ted talk there was something that really resonated with me: She tells about a busy woman who had no extra time. But then her water cooler broke, which resulted in a huge mess. As you can imagine. It took 7 hours from her week to get rid of the water and to clean everything up. Now if you had asked that woman if she had 7 extra hours in her week. She would have probably said hell no. But because there was a crisis, she found the 7 hours.

What Laura says is that “We can’t make time but it will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it.” So in short, our priories should be treated like that water cooler crisis. We just have to find time for them. After all it is what will make us actually fulfilled.

Thanks for reading , don’t forget to comment your favorite tip. Also please follow me on my socials, seen on the left, or from the 3 lines if you are on a mobile device πŸ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

Here is some more links that I used for inspiration or that I feel you should πŸ˜‰

https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2019/05/12/9-ways-to-curb-burnout-and-carve-out-time-for-whats-truly-important/#578319372446

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Avoiding these 5 life traps will save you

Have you wondered if you are in a matrix and everything is just an illusion. That you never really even know your potential because you are trapped into a box and you don’t have a way out right now?

Well without all conspiracy theories I can honestly say you probably are in a trap. A trap you have made for yourself and I am just as much a victim of a self inflicted trap as you are. The best way to get out of these traps is to recognize them.

5 Traps to avoid

  1. Needing to be always right. I get it. It is so fun to be right and seem smart. I like that feeling too. However most of the time being right doesn’t really do anything. Being wrong and accepting that doesn’t make you weak. It makes your aware of things and forces you to learn new facts and skills. Saying that you were wrong is one of the hardest things in life. I know… but, the thing is that if you don’t claim to be right in the first place you don’t have to take it back…simple
  2. Cursing that life isn’t fair. It isn’t and that sometimes sucks BUT the thing is that talking about how life isn’t fair and all of the rich people have everything and blah blah blah, it doesn’t do anything. Won’t turn life fair all of a sudden. It’s not like life hears your whining and is like “Shit, I have been a right bitch, must change” Instead of using your time to talk about how like isn’t fair, work hard with the rules that life has. Life is a bitch? Be a bitch back. Work hard and make sure you get ahead. It will require effort, but so does bitching about things. You might as well choose the one that brings you more value.
  3. Living by other peoples rules. I am knee deep in this trap. Honestly it is one of the hardest things in life. Especially when it comes to friends and family. If someone in your family has a certain way of seeing things, then you all of a sudden feel like shit if you go against those “rules”. I have big goals. But I often feel the need to make them smaller because they scare other people. Not even myself, but others. It is so easy to start thinking the same way as others. “That is too risky/too hard/” and all of a sudden you start wondering… “well maybe it is too risky/too hard/” You have just as much of a chance to fail and the things that are “safe”. Being miserable and safe is still a failure. Above all you end up hurting yourself by listening to others too much.
  4. Wanting things to be easy. This is a trap like no other. It is what makes people want to play lotto, or “buy into make money easy and fast by just clicking thing thing and paying 0.99 cents”. Life isn’t supposed to be easy. People get into a flow state when something isn’t too easy, we need a bit or a challenge to motivate us. Of course this also means that we can’t do things that are way too hard, because we need at least small successes to keep us interested. However if life would be easy, people who for instance got rich fast and now “have everything”, would be the happiest. And they aren’t. Work hard, achieve your goals, be of service to others. Easy isn’t the answer.
  5. Having pity party all the damn time. We get it. Life sucks. Teachers suck. Politicians suck…Everything suckity sucks sucks sucks. The problem is that whining about it doesn’t do anything. Talking about how someone is an idiot won’t change them into a fantastic person. You have two choices. Talk to them and say what bothers you. You delete them out of your life. Doing things that aren’t fun will always be in our lives. Either its taxes, or you have to have a war with papers or something else. Talking about how much it sucks and poor you, won’t take the tasks away. It will however prolong your suffering. So cut the pity party and just do the shit and move on.

In conclusion

This post might sound to many that we shouldn’t ever allow negativity enter our lives. This isn’t my goal. Crying is healthy, talking through shit is great. What isn’t great, is getting stuck in that shit. As a result not getting forward in your life. Life isn’t fair and some days suck. You can make choices and act in a way that makes life less shitty. One way is by getting out of the traps listed above.

I am most trapped into traps 3 and 5. Which one is the most problematic for you?

Xoxo, Alisa

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5 mindsets that will make you successful

I am sure if you follow certain successful people, you have noticed certain aspects. Now there are exceptions to these rules and the reason they work, is exactly because of that, they are exceptions. So once you learn this receipt, you are free to try and get out of the box. I actually implore that you do. But first; let’s find out the clear ones:

  1. Be nice. Don’t over do it. Don’t let others walk over you. But while being nice and sweet is usually seen as a personality trait. It can totally be your mindset. You can choose to be nice. If someone steps on your shoes, and you want to bark at them, instead just smile and say it isn’t an issue. If a customer is being rude, just apologize for the inconvenience and wish them a good rest of a day. Not in a sarcastic voice ( tho you might want to, trust me I’ve been there….) but honestly. Most of the time it makes the customer get a bit flustered and makes them regret being rude.
  2. Be a problem solver.Sometimes you will get questions you don’t know an answer to. Instead of just saying: “Sorry, I have no idea”. Figure it out. Make a call, google it anything. It might not even be something relating to your job. A great attention from someone who isn’t even your customer can reach to someone who is a potential customer. And the chance is that if they already are a customer they will stay that way and tell about you to others. So, you don’t lose anything.
  3. Everything is figureoutable. Ties in a lot with the one before: This is something that Marie Forleo preaches and if I am not mistaken she was the one to coin the term. But having this mindset will help you with building a business, figuring out a homework, figuring out how to help a customer. Anything and everything. There is something supper powerful in a person who finds a solution.
  4. Be charming: There is nothing more amazing than a person who is great at achieving things, being nice and on top of all that a charmer. It can be simple like helping someone carry things you see them struggling with. It can be your boss, co-worker, customer. Comment on someones outfit. Smile when ever possible. People often tell that saying good morning to your co-workers does amazing things and I absolutely agree to that. However you can say hi even if you are on the phone and both hands are busy, just smile, or blink at them. Problem solving, remember?
  5. Have a humor: This has its risks. Obviously. Everyone will find different things fun. I happen to be sarcastic. But I don’t have to use sarcasm if I sense that the “audience” isn’t on the same page on that. It can be a dad joke, or even just laughing at someone else’s joke. It can be laughing at being clumsy. The more you smile and laugh (in a professional way)

So in short; be someone with an entrepreneurial mindset. Get shit done and be fun, nice and charming about it!

Success is a long ass road. So don’t come barking at me for not becoming a millionaire yesterday just because you have these mindsets. You need to do so much more than just these. BUT these mindsets will make you go extremely far. You might not become successful just having these mindsets but without these you definitely won’t be. Trust me.

Which of these have worked for you in the past? Or which do you need to implement for the future?

Xoxo, Alisa

P.S Don’t forget to follow me on the socials seen on the left πŸ˜‰

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How this quote can change your life?

I love this quote. It is so simple, fun and so very true. I mean who doesn’t love a quote that rhymes but is still smart?

Fun and smart!

If you follow my Facebook page you would have seen this quote already. So if you don’t follow the page yet, go ahead and check it out here: Facebook

How can this quote change your life?

If you live by the rule of this quote it becomes very simple. Just do a bit more. When you are good at something change the goal to being better at it and after that best at it. Of course you get to chose what those things are and no one is telling you to become the best at everything. But striving for something better everyday is a great way to change your life.

Instead of just laying in bed today go on a walk. It is better than what you had in plans. Instead of doing only 8 reps at the gym do 9 this time. Instead of accepting that you study a language only 15 minutes today, study it for 30 minutes. Push yourself just a bit more. Not till you drop. So obviously listen to your body. But don’t make it an excuse. Instead of turning the TV on, you can just learn couple of more words from the language you want to learn or something similar.

Which quote motivates you? Leave it in the comments! I would love to read them!

Xoxo, Alisa

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Clearing up personal development

What is personal development? Get rich fast scheme. Work non stop till you drop so you can die becoming a millionaire. Well, I am sure someone could think of it that way… but no.

I am very fascinated with personal development. But I think there is a misconception that there is one way of doing personal development. And that just isn’t accurate. It is call personal for a reason. It is the development you instill in yourself. And it can look different for different people.

If someone would ask what I think personal development is, I would say it is someone working on their weaknesses and getting out of the comfort zone. There must be a part which is not comfortable to you. Because those things that are easy and nice to do, don’t make you grow. They are still important to have in your life, but they don’t make you grow (sorry)

How ever what you do in order to grow is up to you. It could be traveling; there is so much to learn about yourself and the world with traveling. It forces you to think about your finances and it makes you be more organized, since ofc. you don’t want to miss your train/bus/plane etc.

It can just as well be reading books on the topics that you don’t know. It can be fitness, it can be going to courses. Anything. But you have to do it well.

I started personal development about 5 ish years ago. And I can’t say I have come far. Not because I have some extremely hard story to tell. Simply because I haven’t before given my all to working on myself. You can always find something to work on. But it is very easy to come up with excuses. Just like with anything. And I sure did.

Personal development is very important. It requires self discipline and awareness. You must realize what you must change or work on in yourself and stick to it. That isn’t easy. But if you want to go from where you are to somewhere better. Something that you have dreamed about, you must work on yourself.

Why do I think it is extremely important? We as a society constantly look at everyone else. Judging and saying how everyone else is so dumb and “I would have done it better”…would you have? I mean maybe. If so then just go and do those things differently. Work hard to make sure you can make a change. If we work on ourselves to be the best us we can be. Then things we achieve when we come all together are magnificent.

Many broken people aren’t going to make a full society. So working on ourselves is way more important than pointing fingers at others.

What should you work on? Leave in the comments! πŸ™‚

Xoxo, Alisa

To follow me on my socials click here. FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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Why “HAPPINESS” is bullshit

Running after happiness is like running after someone who will kiss you and then punch you in the face.

Alisa

Happiness is such a broad word and I at least feel like it doesn’t actually mean anything. It is just a filler in a conversation: “Are you happy?” I will try to explain why happiness is kinda bs. However to make sure we don’t have to start studying biology and chemistry, I have simplified everything a lot. So please if you want more information, check the links I have left at the end, and research yourself. Let’s get into it:

There is a reason why the world happy is in quotes, in the title. I don’t think we understand what happiness means. And the truth is that my happiness and your happiness are two very different things. For some reasons though, we always try to copy others in the hope of getting the same kind of hit that the other person got. The we get bitter when it doesn’t make us feel good and we feel like we’ve been lied to…

So let’s talk about what is happiness scientifically (very simplified). DOSE (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphin) are in charge of the feelings of happiness, in very different ways. Endorphins come out to play when you do something that you have to power through like fitness goal. While oxytocin makes you bond with people and serotonin is a regulator. You get dopamine actually when you anticipate something. Why is this important to understand? Well this means there at least 4 different ways to be “happier”. Actually more because there are other chemicals in the brain that work to make you feel “good” but I won’t get into them all.

However this gets us to the next point I have. The happiness chemicals don’t work in the sense that we think that they do. Easy example would be serotonin. The chemical that makes you feel hungry and happy after you eat. (simplified a lot). So then you would think that food makes you happy. And it does, in a way. That is why it is easy to start over eating. Because who doesn’t like food. This means that we will get happy from over eating. And from expecting the food we get dopamine… but when have you ever hear about an actually happy food addict. Someone who is over weight is not happy. They might act happy with food in front of them but a little while after they eat they get sad and guilty and then there is the cycle. Eat be happy stop eating feel bad. What do you think we end up doing? … Yeah … eating some more.

So, if we think about happiness as the surge of chemicals and lack of happiness when chemicals aren’t having a party, this means we must always DO something, in order to be happy. BUT this is again where our brains will work against us. Because what better way than get a DOSE than to sit around all day, scroll the phone, order uber eats and then just do the same thing when you feel the guilt and self loathing raise? This is the reason “happiness” isn’t such a great concept and feeling good for a while doesn’t mean you are happy overall.

I suggest a very easy cure for you all who feel like happiness is always running away from you. Instead of grabbing that burger, phone, having sex(All of which are btw good things in moderation) What I suggest is making a list of things that make you feel good AND proud/fulfilled after you do it. Want to feel good about bonding with people? Help someone. Want to feel the anticipation of something? Try planning a trip or organize a get together with friends. Or try something new that you have never done before. The key is to feel good even after you are done doing it. Not that you have failed yourself. This takes away the huge crashes you might get.

So happiness isn’t only about getting some chemicals to party in your brain. You must also make them party in a good way, instead of making them feel hangover after 10 minutes. Doing good things, smart things will make you feel good for longer, because the memory of those good things will make you feel happy again instead of sad.

Now to the last but maybe the most important point: HAPPY isn’t the same thing as easy. Happy isn’t about getting the biggest hit of DOSE, often. It is about balancing out things. It is about making yourself proud, fulfilled. This is why I strongly suggest to run after fulfillment, about feeling good in a smart way. Running after happiness on its own is like running after someone who kisses you and then punches you right after it… and I don’t think that is a healthy relationship to be in. Even if its just inside our brains. Run after being fulfilled and proud of who you are. That will be more like running after someone who isn’t actually running away from you. They are just playing tag with you and once you catch them, they will kiss you and take you out on a date. (Better than the punch in the face right?)

What are the smart things that make you happy? What makes you fulfilled and proud of yourself after? If you have questions, about this or something else, let me know! I will be happy to try and answer or to even write a blog post on the topic!

Here are the resources I used for the blog: 4 Chemicals and Psychology Today Also don’t forget to check out the communities we have (and take part in them πŸ˜‰ ) over here:

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Xoxo, Alisa

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5 Personal Development Journaling Prompts

I have written a blog post about this a while ago. But I feel that this is so important that I want to do it again. And hopefully I add even more ideas and value to you guys πŸ™‚

  1. Write about the perfect life in your eyes. How would you feel about yourself. What would you do. Who would you spend time with. How would you bring value to the world. What would your salary be. Every single little detail. Write it out. And then start taking action, even if just a small little step like reading about the industry you want to work in or if you already have a degree sending out a well planned job application.
  2. Write about what you have learned this day. It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant, because we obviously aren’t going to learn the same amount daily. Some days we actually have a course we attend or a lecture, while others we scroll internet for the whole day (yea…I see you πŸ˜€ ) This will help make you see you are actually evolving and especially so, if you make learning your priority n.1 and you go out of your way to have something new to tell your dear diary (yes the boys too, everyone gotta learn. If you want to keep it masculine get a blue one. If you like pink πŸ˜‰ nothing wrong with a bit of pink with glitter :D)
  3. Write out the amazing and positive stuff. Yes, even if your day sucked. Don’t write about the negativity (at least not on the norm) Your brain will remember the negative shit anyway. But write out the positive. Even if it is; well I got a parking spot fast. Yes, it counts as a positive.
  4. Journal of all of the opportunities you said yes to and no to. This way you can track if you are too much of a yes-person or a no person. If you always say no, you will realize that you might miss out on stuff (smart no saying is essential tho) and if you say yes too much, you aren’t reliable because you have to go back on your promises and that is worse than just saying no right away.
  5. Keep a goal journal. Write about how you achieve the goal. What you did right/wrong. What didn’t go as you assumed. Write what steps seem to repeat themselves no matter the goal. Make sure to keep it positive, the idea is to make yourself see the goals you have accomplished. This will give you the boost you need when you get into the dark place of ” I never do anything right”. BUT be realistic. If you could have reached that goal in half the time if you have been more disciplined. Write that. It’s still great that you achieved it and you should feel proud. But you have to learn from each goal, to make it easier next time, because you are prepared.

Whoop Whoop keep lets get it! I would love for you to tag me into pictures when you write these. On instagram @changedlife365 and on twitter same @changedlife365! Lets go let go lets go! I’m so excited for this! I really think these are great topics to write about. It can be daily, like with the positivity prompt or once in a while like the goals prompt. Make it your own!

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Have an amazing week <3

Xoxo, Alisa

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5 Recources for Personal Growth

I love personal development. If we change ourselves we are able to change the world. I honestly believe that. Here are my 5 recommended resources to get on your journey!

  1. Tom Bilyeu: Let this man and his youtube channel lead you into the amazing, fascinating and mind blowing crevices of personal development. While this man himself if a legend in my eyes, his guests phenomenal. If you don’t want to get rid of your excuses of why you can’t do something, don’t watch this. Because Tom Bilyeu and his guests will cut through all the BS you tell yourself.
  2. SkillShare: I am not sponsored by them (But I would love to be). I have not at all used this amazing tool to its fullest capacity. I wish I could say how I watch something from here everyday…but that would be a lie. However what I have watched thus far, and the idea of it as a whole is spectacular. Check it out. Considering the platforms amazing selection of lessons and the pretty decent price; I would assume that everyone would already be on this platform.
  3. The5amClub, Robin Sharma: A personal development book that feels like a casual read. This is a perfect mix of fictional story telling with lessons for life that will change your life, if you let them. I can’t recommend this enough!
  4. Meditation: This in itself isn’t a recourse like the others. But you can find so many guided meditations on YouTube that, its a recourse in itself. Meditation has helped me immensely. There are a lot of things I still have to manage and organize and plan but this has been a great tool for me not to let my stress get overwhelming!
  5. LinkedIn: You probably didn’t expect this. And I get it. It is seen as a tool to get ahead in your career, but isn’t that personal development? You can follow anyone you respect on LinkedIn, who will share their insights with you. You can read about anything on this platform from slide share or from people you follow sharing resources. And you can network with fascinating people who will help you on your personal path for growth. In turn you will help other when you share your success and things you have learned along your journey!

What are you favorite personal development resources? Have you tried anything from above, if so, what did you think? Don’t forget to like, comment and share :3

xoxo, Alisa

As always my communities are to be found here: FB ChangedLife, Instagram , Twitter and Pinterest

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