Until very recently I’ve felt that if I fail I have no reason to try anymore. I have always been the one to hate being wrong and thus failing felt like the end of the world. Which it, of course, wasn’t.
I am curious to know why I am this way, but at the same time, it doesn’t matter. If I could pinpoint it on being raised a certain way or because my friends are that way or anything else, maybe I’ll just make myself believe that it isn’t my fault and thus I can’t do anything about it. So I might as well accept that I just have been in a fixed mindset state and now I don’t want to be.
I am reading Dr. Carol S. Dweck‘s book Mindset- Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. It has hit me very very hard. It is unimaginable how much of a fixed mindset person I am. I loathe to admit it but I have only read 38 pages and on almost every page when Dr. Dweck explained the features of a fixed mindset individual I was like “Shit that is exactly like me!?” “And my poor family friends and boyfriend.”
What does it mean if you have a fixed mindset?
- You believe you can’t amount to anything because you aren’t smart enough
- Failure defines you.
- You will have issues in relationships because you feel the need to be correct
- Other people succeeding will make you feel horrible (thus you will be jealous and bitter etc)
What does it mean to have a growth mindset?
- You get excited about the challenges
- You are happy when others succeed
- You do everything in your power to be better after failing
- You don’t let challenges get to you.
I love the idea of having a growth mindset. I love love love the idea of being able to improve myself.
Now, why would I even care? Why should I bother?
Because always being right (even when you aren’t but you fight everyone till they say you are right just so you’ll shut up) feels lonely. Feeling bad and negative when others are happy feels bad. Believing you can’t amount to anything because you got a C- on an exams feels like an end of the world sucks. And most importantly isn’t true.
I think it would be exciting to challenge myself more. To know that even if right now I am not that good at writing blogs or math (I suck in math) or well pretty much anything because I have fought to try to improve as if I’d be fighting cancer (Because if I have to improve it means I am a failure) I can still make changes and get better.
Thanks for reading now it is your turn to think and write: Which mindset do you have? How do you plan to change it for the better? Comment down below!