Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

How to change your life: Challenge 3/5

Do you suffer from that pesky little nagging 5-year old voice in your head that says; “But I don’t feel like it” Buy these pills to shut that little brat up….

Well not quite. But let’s try get some perspective shall we. Why is that voice even bad to have?

Let us go way way back. If our ancestors would have lived their lives with the “I don’t feel like it” mentality we would literally be instinct. Imagine how that would work with a wolf running after you and your family or with needing to harvest the crop but “I can totally do it tomorrow” And then tomorrow comes and you realize that the frost killed off the crop… Well, that went well…

And I know that this idea doesn’t work in today’s society because you can literally ask food to be sent to you by uber… but is that really the life you want to live. The issue that I noticed with this idea for myself was that my life was so so so boring. Go to class, check the phone for most of that class, get home be on the computer for most of that time, eat and go to sleep. If you have a due date then just work for 1h like crazy and send a meh text to the teacher… And then the same next day and next week and so on.

But what if you don’t do it that way? What if you actually do everything on time and when you do things you do them with energy?  I haven’t mastered this. BUT I did start doing more things this fall. I seriously worked on forcing myself to participate in things and got to meet new people and gained some serious opportunities. It didn’t really take that much. I mean sure we had to work for example with the volunteer project we had making the event and all but what I gained out of it was so much more valuable than the work I put in.

If you want to check more about this idea of just killing of the phrase “I don’t feel like it” you should check Mel Robbins. She also has a great TED talk on how to stop screwing yourself over:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

The thing is also that even if you just decide to not do something, you will have it on your mind all the time. Even if just a little. You can’t relax properly. And sometimes you can get away with it. Like if you are sick or if you really have so much to do but if you don’t have that 30 min bath for yourself then you’ll literally hang yourself (Please never let yourself get that far into a burnout)  then you can actually justify having a pause. But if the pause 24/7 just because you don’t feel like doing something, it won’t do you any good.

Let’s see if this way of thinking about it helps;  If you would give yourself a stress grade of 50 on writing that essay right? That would be if you’d just do it right now. This is without waiting at all.

  • Let’s give each day that you don’t do it, but it’s on your mind a stress grade of 5.
  • After ten days that ends up already being 50.
  • Then if you write that essay under time pressure because you have to give it in tomorrow as you waited way too long. That means you have a stress level of 90 because you have to write it NOW. So 50 + 90= 140. That is 90 stress levels more than necessary.
  • Add into that the stress of after because you know you didn’t do a good job so each day you wait if you failed the essay you have a stress level of 20. Waiting for a week would give you 140 extra stress points.
  • All together 280…. instead of the 50 that you would have otherwise had. That is a LOT of stress, that you just don’t need.

So write into your calendar a block of time when you will do it. I will talk about calendar blocking more in the future. But in short, the idea is this. You choose a block of time. Say, from 10 to 12 you do a task. Let’s keep the essay as an example. One block could be research then the next day the block could be making an essay plan and then the day after that actually writing the essay. If you cut the process of writing an essay into manageable pieces you might even lower the stress grade of 50 to way less because you realize the task isn’t as daunting and horrible as you thought.

One last thing, (I swear I will stop bothering you with this soon) if you keep just postponing it and then do it all under pressure and stress, you will be able to tell yourself “See I knew it this would be horrible, I never want to do it again. I will always leave it for the last second so I don’t have to think about it”. That idea is stupid of course because you just made it horrible for yourself because you left it for the last minute. But that doesn’t register and then you are in a vicious cycle.

So just go and do it!  Whatever it is you have right now.

Leave a comment to let me know if I made any sense and like if you like. Don’t forget to follow and see you in my next post ๐Ÿ™‚

xoxo, Alisa

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