I have been on a journey to change my life for a while now. I have been conscious that I have to change this to be happy when I was 18ish. I have been trying to do it on and off. Now I am 22. And I still haven’t really achieved the change in me that I would like to see. BUT I have learned a thing or two. I believe there are many reasons why you don’t reach your fullest potential and here is a list of 5. I will first explain what the issue is and then how to solve it. I’ll write a blog post separately for each.
Here is why you don’t succeed: 1) Not believing in myself 2) Not surrounding myself with motivated people 3) Falling into the trap of I don’t feel like it. 4) Trying to change too many things at the same time and thus failing at all of those things, and lastly 5) Thinking about how to/ planning to do things instead of taking action.
Reason 1 – You do not believe in yourself:
How is this an issue? When we don’t believe that we are capable we often make excuses not to do things. “Well, it won’t work anyway”. Or we try a bit and then get tired and then feel like we aren’t “up for it”. But did we actually try our hardest? Or are trying to live up to our own expectations of imminent failure?
How we communicate with our selves is a huge part of how we act as well. But how do you begin to believe in yourself? Especially if your goal is big and you’ve “failed” at it before?
Tip 1: Celebrate small victories. Notice when you make progress, even if it small progress. Let’s say you want to lose weight. And today you didn’t eat anything unhealthy? Give a pat on the back. Maybe even write it down. After that maybe 21-60 days if you repeat that you are actually forming a new habit thus changing your life.
Tip 2: Keep a list of things you have actually done in that day. Make sure that at least 2 things on that list are something to do with your goal. Let’s stay with losing weight example. Those two things could be; not eating junk and going for a walk. If you have done those two things on the list; then you are absolutely on the right track.
Tip 3: If you fail on one day, do not dwell on it. Write a note to yourself saying something nice. Don’t make any excuses though. You failed and that is fine don’t sugar coat it but also don’t beat yourself over it. If within 60 days you slip up once or twice it’s all fine, but if you stop trying totally that means you have given up.
Tip 4: Keep a diary/write a journal prompt of all the things you have achieved, even the small things. Feel good about those achievements and after that make sure you use that joy to fuel your future goals.
In concultion, you have to build trust within yourself that you can do it. One or two small steps at a time. It isn’t something that you will always succeed at. That is why even when you fail you have to be kind (but firm) with yourself. At some point when you look at the list of things you have achieved (including the things you didn’t even remember because you never looked back), you will realize that you have actually done quite a bit.