Health, Lessons in life

Concentrating on me…blog comes second

So I have been writing blogs on and off since I was like…. 17? And I like writing but I do not hold myself to a great standard and that kind of sucks… I mean for me to be a good blogger who advocated for personal development I should actually lead by example and to be honest I don’t.

I feel like a fake doctor writing the blog and talking about how to live your life but still not even doing so myself… And I think it is time for me to take a long long pause. And just concentrate on the things I can change in me and my life, one step at a time. Without this feeling of pressure of already needing to be there…

I will most likely once in a while write. But this blog is going to be a hobby mostly. Maybe I will pick it up soon again maybe it will take years time… maybe it will never be my thing again. But for now. Do not expect consistency I need to concentrate on my actual life goals right now and that is to improve my health, mental physical and spiritual if you will πŸ™‚

Thanks for understanding

xoxo

Alisa

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Lessons in life, Personal development

What is wrong with Social media?

I love love love love social media. I love looking at amazing pictures on Instagram or Weheartit or watching videos on Youtube. Learning about new things, talents and people through social media is great. Being able to connect with your friends whether they live next door or if they are 5000km away. But there so many issues and I think the sooner we accept that these are issues and we aren’t supposed to just “take it” the better.

  1. We aren’t supposed to post everything about everything. This is so so fake and sometimes mean. If you are about to help a homeless person. You do NOT need to take a video of it. That is just asking for thanks from other people. If you see a fight do not stop to take a video but call 911 or 112 depending on where you live. If you are about to go to the bathroom to take a dump, stop taking selfies every time in the bathroom. There is nothing with the concept of selfies but if it means that your friends have to wait on the outside for 10 minutes (or more) for you take the perfect on… that’s just sad.
  2. We do not have to accept that our attention span is soon shorter than a what a goldfish has.Β  I have a teacher in school who is a social marketing guru. And he is great don’t get me wrong. But I noticed that he kind of seemed to confuse marketing and day to day life. I took his course on Social media marketing and he taught us with videos. All of the videos were 3-10 minutes long maximum 15. And every time the video would be almost 15 min long he would keep apologizing for it being so long. Look in marketing the shorter the video with your point still getting spread the better BUT when we are learning something short ass videos is just frustrating. I had to all the time click for the next vid and to click it to start and all of that isn’t hard to do. It just made the subject really fragmented. What I mean is that we don’t have to just accept that our attention span is getting shorter. Just because digitalization is a real thing and to accept it doesn’t mean that we have to accept everything that comes with it. We need to still be able to concentrate for more than 30 seconds or 3 minutes at a time. It is impossible to write a 30-second book or to have a movie play out in 30 seconds (and for us to actually get the value out of them.)
  3. Beauty standards.Β We do not and never have to accept it. Here is why. If we look at a photo of a scientifically beautiful person. They are in every way symmetrical. Their eyes are on the same line (exactly) there nose is right down the middle of the face and so on. The issue is that of an actual human this “perfect” human looks alien like. They do not look good. So what I am trying to say is that there is no such thing as perfection because even scientific perfection doesn’t really look that good. What we do have to concentrate is on health. Actual overall health. Shape and size don’t automatically mean anything. Just like whether or not you have a “perfect” nose or something of the like. (Also what is a perfect nose?)
  4. Life standards.Β We aren’t all going to live in a villa near a beach with pool boys surrounding us. I mean we can do that. If we work hard and we achieve our goals (but I don’t even know if that should be everyone’s goal… to each their own) But let’s stop comparing our lives to the perfectly constructed story we are told on social media. It isn’t healthy.

Social media is interesting and fun. But we have to draw a line somewhere. How many hours do we scroll the feeds? How shitty do we feel when we see that person have everything we don’t? What about the way it affects our brains in a negative way? All these things aren’t something we have to accept!

Thanks for reading! Comment below what you think πŸ™‚ What bothers you the most in Social Media?

Xoxo

-Alisa

Goals, Lessons in life, Personal development

10 things to STOP right now

I am not sitting on a high horse here, I swear to god I do these things too. I just think we should pay attention to these things more.

  1. Stop saying sorry for how you look. Even if you haven’t tried to “put yourself together” you have absolutely NO reason to apologize how you look. Just be unapologetically you. It’s the best thing for yourself you can do.
  2. Stop saying you are OCD, depressed etc. Sure you might be precise in something or feel like shit once in a while. But unless you actually suffer from these conditions it sounds almost demeaning. I mean is it OCD to make your bed daily? No, that is not even close to what OCD is. Same thing with depression. And if you keep telling yourself you are depressed all the time, even if you just have a shitty moment in a day, who says it won’t become the truth? Concentrating on the bad definitely makes you more likely to only notice that.
  3. Stop trying to justify what you are doing to others. As long as you aren’t doing anything illegal or hurting someone, you don’t owe anyone anything. So stop explaining. Just do what you want/need to do, and let everyone else stress about your life if they want to do that. That is their problem, not yours. Trying to get validation from everyone just makes sure you never liveΒ your life and that is not something you want to realize when you are 80…
  4. Stop talking about motivation. Try to eliminate that word even from the thoughts you have. (I don’t feel like it goes into the same category.) If there is no such thing as motivation or feeling like doing something you have no excuse not to do that thing.
  5. Stop talking shit about others. I am going to be realistic, you sometimes will feel like shit about someone and what they did or said. But you will save time if you don’t gossip about them.
  6. Stop scrolling your phone in the morning and in the evening when its bedtime. The bed should be a no phone zone. I am not good at this. But it will make your day start better and it will make you feel more sleepy in the evening when social media hasn’t filled you with things to think about. And we all know what the blue light does!
  7. Stop listening to music all the time. (I say as I write this and listen to music…) but the idea is that we need to get used to silence as well. How often have you spent a proper amount of time with no phone and no music or video on the background? If you can’t be calm in silence that isn’t normal. It isn’t good for you. It technically means you can’t be one on one with yourself. I am one of these people. How do you know if you are too? Just close all sources of noise and see how long you last before you feel uncomfortable. If you can’t last more than an hour, or you feel anxious you should get used to silence.
  8. Stop planning. I am a planner. I write what I should do and when and how long it will take me and how amazing it would be to achieve xyz. But do I achieve these things? No. I just talk and talk and talk and I think I will do them when I feel like it and motivated… wait but I can’t use those terms… so I must do it now or realize it isn’t a priority.
  9. Stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do. Rather just say no I can’t/ don’t want to do something that promises that you will do it and then have to come up with a legit sounding excuse to why you need to cancel. It will make you less stressed when you feel like you need to do way more than you can. And it will make you more reliable because when you say yes it actually means yes.
  10. Stop leaving stuff where it doesn’t belong. Don’t leave those pants on the floor, or the pens into the wrong drawer. Make your life easier for yourself and just put everything where it belongs. Trust me not only will you save time, you will feel calmer and collected when your room doesn’t look like a tornado hit it.

In the end, these habits aren’t really that difficult to change, but in the long run, they will save you time, make you feel better about yourself and really they just make you seem more like an adult. So let’s all try to stop doing this, shall we!

Thanks for reading! What is the most difficult thing on the list, for you?

xoxo

-Alisa

Lessons in life, Personal development

Why can’t you find happiness?

There are obviously so many different things that make us unhappy in life. But I think that the biggest reason, honestly is that we define happiness in a fundamentally wrong way.

Let’s make a very very clear point here: Happiness is NOT the total 100% rainbow and unicorn existence with rainbows and sprinkles!Β The only way you will achieve that kind of happiness is by using drugs and even then it won’t last forever and if you try to make it last forever you will die of an overdose (that is not today’s topic though)

So how does this relate anything to the reason why we can’t find the happiness you may ask? Very simply put, I think people say I am not happy, and I want to find happiness because they don’t realize that they will never be happy all the time. I am not talking for all people here of course. My point is probably best described by Jay Shetty. He is a rebel turned monk, turned influencer and you should really check him out. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoErccq0vw)

What he has said is that we should look at life from the perspective of aΒ  lifeline. If your life is going up and down it means that your heart is beating, the only way you can have a constant happiness (or sadness) is when you have a flat line. Essentially that means that you are dead. In the interview, I linked this is explained at about 16min 22s.

My point is that we don’t want to accept that we will never be constantly happy. It is normal to feel sad once in a while. Anger as well. This is one of the reasons I like the French language. There are 2 different words to use for the English word happy. Meaning different things…

Joyeux means happy. You would say it to a person having a birthday party (Joyeux Anniversaire) but heureuse, that is beyond happiness. It is being contented. It would be something someone would say about getting married to the love of their life or giving birth to a child. It isn’t as if the marriage never has any issues or that raising a kid will always be fun. But is about the feeling of contentment and peace that you know you wouldn’t have it any other way.Β  (Obviously, these things can be achieved by more than just having kids or getting married they are just the most common examples I can come up with. )

So think beyond just the bursts of feelings you have on the daily basis. If you aren’t laughing all the time doesn’t mean you aren’tΒ heureuse. But if you all the time feel like nothing matters, nothing brings joy then you can safely say you aren’t happy(heureuse)Β  and you should search for answers. But on avergage, I think that we just assume life is supposed to be easy, and we are supposed to laugh and never have a shitty day at work. And that is just not the case.

As always I thank you for reading. I hope you found the post interesting and helpful and I would love to have a conversation about this in the comment section below.

xoxo

-Alisa