We are told daily not to get unhappy and not to be stressed and don’t feel anything that might seem a bit negative. God forbid that someone gets angry for being punched in the face. I am not here to tell you that you should wallow in self-pity and mope around. What I am saying to you is that you might as well “ride” out these feelings.
Feeling angry? It isn’t an issue if you don’t pour gasoline into it. Ignoring the feeling of anger is often like gasoline. It might not work in the same sense as actual gasoline where you combust right away. But you ignoring the feeling for a long time will make it build up and then, later on, you will explode. A loved one that said something that you hated? Tell them about it right away. No one needs you to play martyr and just “turn the other cheek”. Not in this case.
Tell them that you didn’t like it. Because if you let that hurt/anger sit it will explode later when they do a fifth thing that you don’t like. And you might say something you regret. They might not know why your reaction is as big as it is. Also, girls, let’s not play the “ If you don’t get why I am angry I am not telling you” game. That is so not cool. Unless it’s like the 10th anniversary or your birthday that they really should know by now. Otherwise just say it straight.
If you feel sad and want to cry. Just do that. If anyone judges you let them. In today’s age, we are told to repress our feelings. That will lead to either exploding later on or maybe not being able to open up at all. Then we wonder why we feel depressed, but it really isn’t a wonder if we keep everything bottled up.
It’s the same with stress. You must learn to manage stress that is true. Meditation, writing down the reasons why you are stressed and going out for a walk or with friends are some ways to manage stress. But telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel stressed and why am I stressed isn’t. Trying to force is out of your body will only make it worse. No one can have a good meditation if the only thought in your mind is “I can’t stress” on a loop.
On the flip side, you should also freely feel the good and happy feelings. Not in a cocky bitchy way. Not is someone is having a bad day and you go to them and say “oh no, but oh well I am having a great day”. But if you are proud of achieving something then just say so. If not to anyone else then to yourself. Or maybe write about it in your journal. While being cocky and narcissistic is something that everyone should avoid being, too much of modesty will make others discredit you as well.
If someone says you have written something well, thank them and maybe joke slightly like “Oh you noticed it too huh” But never just outright diss your work “Oh no, its absolute garbage, I’m sure a 5-year-old could have done it” It might get you some sympathetic comments at first but later on people will just stop complimenting you and may even start to think the same things. Because if you can’t be proud of that work, why should they be impressed with it?
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